Blogger Arrow

It's Official!

2010-05-01T11:19:00.002-06:00

I've offically launched my new blog!

After an eight year run here, it's definitely time for something new. Yes, I will still keep this domain in case I decide there's something decidedly non-bookish I need to blog about, but otherwise look for more regular updates for me in my new blog home:

http://herbookself.blogspot.com

Thanks to all those who have read, commented on, and joined in my randsanity over the years. Hopefully you'll follow me in my new endeavor which will include book reviews, literary quotes, discussions on reading and readers, author interviews, and who knows whaat other craziness I will get myself into!

Cheers!

Contemplating

2010-04-26T21:02:00.000-06:00

I'm thinking it's time to retire this blog.

That's not to say that I'll give up blogging, but I think it could be time for a new incarnation of my online thoughts. I'm debating starting a book blog although part of me feels that that may mean an entrance into an overly saturated market. On the other hand, it would be a somewhat bottomless source of material.

Blogger Arrow may continue. I'm sure there will be the day when the odd spot of hilarity inspires me to jot something out. But then again, I've had a good run here and it could just be time to start fresh with something brand new.

We'll see.

An Overdue Book...(not from the library)

2010-02-04T16:33:00.001-06:00

I've often heard Margaret Mitchell's novel Gone With The Wind referred to as "a classic" or a "must read" book, but before reading it, I wondered if the text had become overshadowed by the iconic 1939 film. Even seeing the title on the cover causes strains of the memorable theme music (Da-DEEE-de-daaaah...) to echo in my head. Though it's been years since I've seen the movie, I wanted to approach the book with eyes that looked at Mitchell's words directly and not see Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh in my mind. People that know what a voracious reader I am were shocked and amazed to learn that this was my first time reading the book, but none were surprised by how much I enjoyed it.

The story is a familiar one, with Scarlett O'Hara as the prominent belle of the south residing in splendor at Tara, her family's plantation. Her easy-going carefree life of balls and barbecues - and her pastime of pining after Ashley Wilkes - is drastically upset by the onset of the Civil War. The epic American conflict is recounted through Scarlett's eyes and the drama of the war is paralleled with the daily struggles of the women left behind struggling to feed themselves and their families. Meanwhile, tangled webs and love triangles are set up as Ashley marries Melanie Hamilton and Scarlett weds Melanie's brother, Charles - leaving Scarlett as sister-in-law to the wife of the man she really loves. Adding to this particular drama, is the dashing figure of Rhett Butler who has an eye for Scarlett's fiery Irish personality which perfectly matches his own.

Through the days of the war, the South's surrender, and the chaos of Reconstruction, Mitchell's novel follows these expertly drawn and fully realized characters as well as a supporting cast that brings the settings and struggles alive. The writing is stirring and emotional with themes of love and loss, and the descriptions are amazingly vivid, bringing balance to an action-filled plot. Scarlett O'Hara is not always a likable heroine but even when the reader disagrees with her actions and despises her motives, there remains something admirable in her gumption and passion for life. Though the film is excellent (I admit that Gable and Leigh were expertly cast, staying true to Mitchell's descriptions) even at four hours of running length it can only scratch the surface of this amazing novel. The depth and detail ensconced in almost 900 pages of text provide a richness to the story that assures Gone With the Wind its rightful place as an American masterpiece.

Couldn't Have Said It Better...

2010-01-22T15:31:00.001-06:00

"Cynicism is not realistic and tough. It's unrealistic and kind of cowardly because it means you don't have to try." - Peggy Noonan

I found this quote online this morning and thought it was worth a reflection. Optimism has always been easy for me, but I know that some people look down on the "always look on the bright side" philosophy and find it irritating if not outright annoying. And I guess for the most part, I'm better classified as a stoic than an optimist. I don't believe that everything is always sunny and wonderful. Some things (earthquakes, cancer, unemployment) are hard to smile about, but stoicism provides the nice cover of knowing that everything will be alright - even if it isn't right now. But cynicism is one school of thought that I just can't buy into and I think the quote above is a pretty good summation of why. I think cynicism is too often a surrender to fatalism in the mask of bold, gritty, realism. Cynics will point out the truth of how messed up the world really is, but what good is embracing that truth without the belief that change is both possible and worth it?

Happy Nerd Year!

2010-01-14T13:23:00.001-06:00

I know I never finished the 12 blogs of Christmas, but I thought this was too funny not to post. Not that it's anything that most of you didn't already know....

This was the original Nerd Test that I took a while back,

but I was notified that it was recently updated. You'll all be pleased to know that my new title is: Uber Cool Nerd Queen.

2009: The Year in (Book) Review

2010-01-05T20:42:00.075-06:00

Courtesy of LibraryThing.com, here's a cover mash of the 91 books I tagged "Finished in 2009":

The Twelve Blogs of Christmas (5): Little Drummer Girl

2009-12-16T16:16:00.001-06:00

I have no gift to bring
That's fit to give a King...
Shall I play for you?

I played my drum for Him,
I played my best for Him.
Then He smiled at me.

I thought I would go back to my original intention of The Twelve Blogs of Christmas and pick an obscure Christmas song lyric that oddly relates to my life. This one comes from two different vereses of The Little Drummer Boy. I realized it's hard to think of that song without the excess "pa rum pa pum pum rrrrrum pum pum pum" interludes but in the words above I think there's a pretty profound encounter with Christ going on. The drummer boy is lamenting - in the line just before the ones I chose - that he is a poor boy, just like the Christ child. Unlike the magi with their extravagent offerings of gold, frankincense, and myrrh, the fictional percussionist has nothing to give...except his service. He realizes that although he has no material goods, he can do for Jesus what he is good at doing: he can drum. In the next verse, following some poetry about musical barnyard animals we find that the drummer boy not only plays for Jesus, he plays his best for Jesus. I think that's the offering that God is always looking for. And the next line always gives me a little chill - "Then He smiled at me".

There's something about Christmas that sends the volunteerism bug echoing through people. There's that goody-goody happy feeling that people get when they help others and with a sort of infectious cheer everyone jumps on that band wagon at Christmas time. But I wonder if maybe there's an even better reason to serve. Maybe by giving the gift of ourselves, giving the very best of ourselves, we can bring a smile to the face of God. What better reward for the gift of serving - and not just any efforts, but our very best - than to see God smiling?

For the seventh year in a row Tony and I are serving at the East Aurora Gift Mart with Community 4:12. For those that haven't heard me gush about this awesome event, our church partners with other churches and businesses to collect a massive amount of new toys ($6-20 each). We then bring these toys over to schools in East Aurora and while we host a Christmas party for the kids at the schools, we set up a gift mart and sell the toys to the parents for $2 each. The money raised then goes back to the schools. It acts as a win-win-win situation in that the children have a blast, the parents get affordable gifts while still having the dignity to purchase their own, and it's a fundraiser for the schools. We call the model giving a hand-up rather than a hand-out. Seven years ago we began this endeavor at a single school in East Aurora. Now we have two gift marts in East Aurora serving four different elementary schools as well as a gift mart in East Joliet too.

At multiple events throughout the year - and especially at Christmas time - serving always reminds me of The Little Drummer Boy. I don't have a lot to give God in terms of material goods. My entire yearly salary is probably less than what some people at my church tithe. But I can serve. That's the song I can play. And I will play for Him. And I will play my best for Him.

Then He smiled at me.
Me and my drum.

The Twelve Blogs of Christmas (4): Prancer's in a Mini-Mall Near My House!

2009-12-10T11:16:00.001-06:00

I can't tell you how many years it's been since I've seen the Christmas movie Prancer about a young girl who finds one of Santa's errant reindeer and hides him in a barn to nurse him back to health, but in every preview for the movie (on TV or back in the day when it first hit theaters) there was one line that was always played and it's when the girl cries out, "Prancer's in a shed near my house!" If you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about. There is no shed by my house so it turns out this year Prancer decided to hang out at the mini-mall near Costco.

I think he recognized my hat....

The Twelve Blogs of Christmas: (3) Santastic

2009-12-08T11:34:00.001-06:00

In a follow up to my previous post about my favorite accessory, I invented a new word. (It's been a while since I've come up with one...) I give you:

Santastic: (adj) portmanteau of Santa and Fantastic; used to describe something that exudes Christmas spirit and brings joy, happiness or brightness to someone else in the manner of Santa Claus bringing smiles to children.

Go on, use it in a sentence and add it to your vocabulary. Example: "The Christmas movie Elf is Santastic!" "My friend Lisa is filled with randsanity or maybe just Dewfeine. She went around town all day on Saturday in a wacky holiday sweater and a santa hat. She's so Santastic!"

Wishing you a very Santastic holiday season!

The Twelve Blogs of Christmas: (2) My Favorite Accessory

2009-12-06T20:05:00.002-06:00

On Saturday, to celebrate my mom's birthday we gathered my whole family for "Breakfast with Santa" at my parents church. Yes, it was a little bizarre to be one of the oldest people there without children, but it was fun to have the whole family together and celebrate the coming holiday as well as my mom's birthday. And in honor of the holiday spirit I donned one of my favorite winter accessories: my santa hat.

It was a convenient addition to my outfit in that it kept my head warm and also concealed my less than neat hairdo resulting from my hurried shower and incomplete drying of my hair (we had to be there at 8am and Tony wasn't home from work until 9pm on Friday, you do the math). Plenty of people were sporting the Kringle chapeaus at the event but the rest of the day was rather amusing. Seeing as how I commited myself to a day of hat hair, I decided just to leave the hat on as I went about errands and activities for all of Saturday.

My first stop was Costco. In line at Customer Service, a man walked past me on his way out the door. He glanced my way and then after passing me, backtracked three steps, and leaned over to conspiratorially tell me, "I gotta say, I love the hat." This brought almost as much of a smile to my face as in the center of the store when a gentlemen pushing a cart carrying two kids walked by me. He didn't pay me much notice, but his two kids spotted my bright head head and pointed me out with cheers of "SANTA CLAUS!!" I smiled and waved like a minor celebrity. Multiple other smiles and giggles were passed my way throughout the shopping trip and through the various other stores I visitied that afternoon. And of course I was met with more than one "Feliz Navidad" as I joined my parents at a Mexican restaurant for dinner.

I've never had a problem making a fool of myself to bring others happiness. I don't know what it is about a red furry hat that brings a smile to the faces of strangers, but I'm more than willing to spread that small bit of cheer however I can. Plus, it really was a nice way to keep my head warm...

The 12 Blogs of Christmas: (1) The Gift of the Magi

2009-12-01T11:06:00.006-06:00

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I want to resurrect an idea I had on my blog a few years back (December '05) where I had 12 blogs in the month of December that all dealt with a theme of Christmas. Previously I focused on Christmas songs, but this year might be a bit more varied. Enjoy!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Over on her blog and also on Facebook, my friend Ellen asked a question about favorite Christmas books. I have a decent number of books tagged "Christmas" in my LibraryThing account (see the search box on the right if you're curious) but after I posted her my reply, I thought of another favorite Christmas story that I haven't thought about for many years. It's a short story, so it didn't come to mind right away when I thought of Christmas books, but it remains a favorite nonetheless. It's by the author O. Henry (a wonderful pen name as well as a candy bar) and the story is called The Gift of the Magi.

The story is in the public domain so if you click the link above, you can get the whole text of it, and if you've never read it, I highly recommend doing so now. Go on, O. Henry is a much better author than I am so you'll enjoy it much more than my ramblings. I reread it the other day and it hit me as especially profound in today's world of economic hard times.

I'm one of those people that delights in gift giving and I'm ashamed to admit that I love giving expensive gifts too. But recently I've been leaning towards more inexpensive but thoughtful gifts and it's left me ruminating on the short story. Instead of showing off possessions that inspire envy in others, I would rather people look at Tony and I and realize that we give gifts wisely. It's why a portion of our Christmas shopping is for people in East Aurora that we've never met as well as for my awesome nieces and nephews. It's why even before we start spending for family we send money through Compassion for a gift for the child we sponsor.

So in light of Black Friday (yes I was shopping at 3am) and Cyber Monday (I still can't be persuaded that online is the way to go), and our continuing difficult economy, I thought I'd share this story about the theme of giving. My favorite part is the quote,

"Let it be said that of all who give gifts these two were the wisest. O all who give and receive gifts, such as they are wisest. Everywhere they are wisest. They are the magi." - O. Henry

Hope it touches your heart as it has mine.

Sweet Success!

2009-11-30T18:25:00.001-06:00

I finished my novel. *phew* This makes me a three-peat NaNoWriMo winner for whatever that's really worth. I know the next question on everyone's mind is, why don't you look to publish anything, but I'm still young and I'm learning and growing as a writer and I have a lot of learning and growing as a writer left to do. I can honestly say that what I came up with in '08 was way better than what I composed in '07 and I think my '09 work, though possibly a weaker story, is probably better written than my '08. Cheers to all those who NaNo-ed with me and special thanks to those that cheered me on along the way. I got very close to giving up mid-month and probably would have without such cool people supporting me.

Some people might look at this accomplishment as just a silly game. I wrote a crappy 96 page story, big whoop, right? But aside from writing, NaNoWriMo is also about the focusing on a goal, dedication above distraction, and pursuing creative ideals. If you look at the stats too, less than 20% of the participants that start NaNoWriMo actually reach the 50,000 word mark (last year was actually the record-high for wins with 18.2% of writers winning). So I guess that's worth at least a nod of admiration for sticking through what most abandon. (But even those that don't reach 50K have something to be proud of. As I've told friends, even if you write 1000 words for NaNoWriMo, that's 1000 words you would not have written otherwise!)

But I think I've put in enough words for today. I'll try to keep my prolific writing up with more blogs in the next month. For now, break out the bubbly and join me in a toast to the wonderful world of writing!

I swear they aren't in kilts...

2009-11-19T21:40:00.000-06:00

I love my laptop computer. it's pretty much a dinosaur, weighs a ton of bricks, and offers me second-degree burns if I use eit on my lap too long, but i really do love the thing. Most of my attachment to it is sentimental. I'veee covered it with some of my favorite stickers (NaNoWriMo onees, a goonies stickere, and NevereWear's Scary Trouseer one) so it has a fun and whimsical look to it and it's also been with me through somee fun times. I finisheed my '08 NaNowriMo on it and so far it's serving me weell through '09.

And in a rare break from noveling, I'm using it to compose this blog entry now too.

Which eexplains what you may have noticed that there aree some things looking a little eodd about my writing tonight. I have a few sticky keys on my keyboard. Namely, the shift key which makes for some rrather difficult capitalizations, as well as the 'e' and the 'r' keys which rrepeat themselves at odd increements with rather unpredictable frequenciesee.

Of course, these arre things that are easy to corrrect, but i thought I would write this with no corrections just to show how amusing things can look if you geet rrandomly repetitive 'r's and 'e's into normal sentences. In my novel it's been especially funny because thee word 'the' (corrected) more often then not comees across as 'thee'. add in that with the rrolling 'rr' and it seeeems that most of my characters are speaking with Scottish accents.

So far though, none of them are wearring kilts.

35,000 words and counting....

NaNo Halfway and Something Different

2009-11-17T15:18:00.002-06:00

I'm just past the 26,000 mark in my novel. I'm not having quite as much fun with the story as I did last year. I think it's one of the deals where I can't force humor, though in the right mood I can come up with some pretty amusing stuff. I guess I was just in a more lighthearted mood last year. But then, so was the rest of the country it seems...

This year is teaching me how much my emotions are tied to my writing. When my energy levels are low, in walks writer's block. When I feel a fit of giggles sneaking up on me, that's when I'll write the funny parts. And when I'm just peacefully content, that's when I come up with the inventive adventuresome part.

In a note of encouragement, a friend told me that "you have to write a lot of crap before you get to be good", and in a strangely negative way it makes me feel better. I might be in the stage where I'm writing 'a lot of crap' right now, and that's okay. What matters is that I am writing.

In a slightly related note, my friend Sean (who falls into the friends-that-write-way-better-than-me category) posted a facebook note about a fiction contest over at BoingBoing.net It sounds like the prizes are essentially awarded at random, but I entered more as a chance to take on the challenge of writing a story in just 100 words. It made a nice contrast to NaNoWriMo in which I'm often fluffing up ideas to boost word count. The theme was "Found in Space" and here's what I composed (in about 12 minutes on my lunch break):

They would not have landed if the computer read ‘Uninhabitable', but the weary travelers needed a reprieve from decades floating in space. The natives looked and spoke like them - an amazing coincidence considering the multitude of tongues spoken in the galaxy – which made easy the procurement of food and fuel.

Six years later, they still lived in solitude. No aliens welcomed them, learned who they were or where they came from, so eventually they left. Their stop gave new meaning to the word ‘alienation’ - the only memory they would take with them from their brief time on Earth.

Okay back to my novel.

A Conversation

2009-11-11T11:11:00.000-06:00

I was at the Naperville train station this morning going through one of my waiting-for-the-train routines of reading the headlines through the glass of the newspaper vending machines. The Chicago Sun Times and The Naperville Sun both displayed front page pictures of the flag display at rotary hil l: 2009 flags on the hill for Veteran's Day 2009. As I looked at the beautiful photos, a stranger's voice behind me spoke up.

"Have you been over to see it yet?"

I glanced up and saw a young man, probably around my age or just past thirty at the oldest. I hesitate to admit it but he looked like my typical image of a young Naperville resident. His hair was shaggy and spiked with gel in the I-meant-to-look-messy way that seems popular now and his clothes appeared a combination of Abercrombie and Gap though no conspicuous labels were shown.

"No," I replied to his question. "But some of my friends visited and I saw some great pictures."

"It's amazing," he said plainly. There was no trace of awe or inspiration in his voice, it was as though he was stating simple fact, not opinion.

"They did a great job with it," I said gesturing to the pictures on the papers in front of us. "It's a really...powerful gesture." I searched for the right word, but 'powerful' seemed to convey the imagery created best.

"You got that right," he concurred. "Five years in the marines and I was moved to tears."

In a stroke of awful timing, he conveyed this last fact to me just as he turned to walk toward the train that pulled up behind us.

"Thank you!" I called after him, but aside from a brief nod of his head he had nothing more to add to our exchange. I hope sincerity echoed in my voice; sincerity, pride, and honor.

A brief pang of shame struck me as he walked away. I never would have guessed this young commuter was a veteran. If he were in full uniform I may have saluted, applauded or even bought him a morning coffee to show my appreciation. All I could do though was call out my hurried thanks over the shrieks and hiss of the train's brakes. I had inadvertently pegged him in my mind as a Naperville yuppie, the usual guy who elbows in front of me to get on the train first or pointedly ignores the opportunity to offer his seat when I'm standing in heels after a long day: the kind of commuter that I sometimes think should be a little nicer or a little kinder, the person I think owes me something ...when in fact I owe him so many of the freedoms I take for granted every day of my life.

Thank you to all the men and women that have served and are currently serving this country. Thank you to all those who have lost loved ones in the military. Your sacrifices are worth more than I can ever say.

Communication

2009-11-05T11:23:00.003-06:00

"And I wonder where these dreams go, when the world gets in your way.
What's the point in all this screaming no one's listening anyway."
- Goo Goo Dolls, Acoustic #3
~~~~

Communication has been frustrating me lately. A lot.

Both at work and in my NaNoWriMo project. At work it's saying the same thing multiple ways and using every ounce of energy to explain yourself, only to be entirely unheard or misunderstood. In my writing, it's my frustrations with not being able to get the right descriptions out and feeling like whatever poetry I create is just a repeat of something that's been said or done before. So I'm frustrated. Feeling like I'm speaking and shouting and still can't get my point, my thoughts, my ideas out.

And then I realize that's probably how God feels most of the time.

Because it's not there.

2009-10-29T14:53:00.002-06:00

On the brink of October ending, I have more on my mind than just Halloween. Once again I find myself pondering - and foolishly committing to - National Novel Writing Month, better known as NaNoWriMo. NaNoWriMo is a writing challenge to take the month of November and, by writing around 1700 words each day, write a 50,000 word novel. I've participated and "won" for the past two years (winning involves completing 50,000 words before midnight on November 30th) but I'm hesitant to participate again.

My first reason for stalling is that I don't have too many ideas. This is the first year that I've struggled to develop a title and though I've been working through some outlining and pre-writing, I just don't know if my ideas are any good. Secondly, I feel a bit like I've already completed two 50,000+ projects that are for the most part unreadable and in desperate need of editing. I've yet to take the steps of revisiting my work and polishing it so I feel a little senseless persuing another draft when my first two have gone nowhere.

But when I think about the fun involved of seeing a story come to life... when I take a day and write a character that I never even planned to create... there's a thrill to it. Yes, there are the frustrating days when I want to dropkick my laptop out the train door. Yes, there are the writer's block moments when I seem to plug out nothing but cheesy dialog. But when each day brings me closer to a novel - even a largely unreadable first draft of a novel - it's exciting. And completion is pure elation.

Funny thing is, as much as I like to write and to write about writing, I don't like to talk about my novel. I think it's near impossible to say the words "my novel" outloud without sounding a bit pretentious. Go ahead try it, "The other day I was working on my novel..." - don't you instantly sound a bit more full of yourself? Maybe it's just me. My writer identity (I still can't use the word *author*) isn't one I'm completely comfortable with. A sure fire way to make me blush is to bring up my writing in public.

I'm giving it another go, though. I came across a quote the other day that read, "Why do writers write? Because it isn't there." For me, that's what NaNoWriMo is about. I'm not pursuing publication. I don't even write for an audience. It's just about me creating something new. Because it isn't there.

About to Break

2009-10-23T20:52:00.000-06:00

I cannot take this anymore, I'm saying everything I've said before,
All these words they make no sense, I found bliss in ignorance,
Less I hear the less you'll say, but you'll find that out anyway!
Just like before…
Everything you say to me, takes me one step closer to the edge,
And I'm about to break!
I need a little room to breathe, 'cause I'm one step closer to the edge,
And I'm about to break!
I find the answers aren't so clear, wish I could find a way to disappear,
All these thoughts they make no sense, I found bliss in ignorance,
Nothing seems to go away, Over and over again,
Just like before…
~Linkin Park

I don't always listen to angry punk rock music, but I actually really like Linkin Park. This song got me thinking though. What do you do when you feel like you're about to break? I know we've all been there at one point or another. And if you're lucky enough to have a long enough fuse that you've never been in a spot where the powder keg of your mind was about to blow from the pressures around you, share your secrets because I'm sure the rest of us are quite curious.

For me, I just get stressed sometimes. I let little things worry me more than they should. I let expectations from others take a greater priority than God's image of me. And I get to thinking that I'm way more important than I am - that the world can't go on without me running at a frantic pace. This week has been one such stress-fest. Work would be infinitely easier if I could be in two places at once - or at least manage to grow an extra pair of arms. I started to think I could stand being the world's first octopus-human hybrid just to improve my ability to multitask. That's when I realized I needed some perspective.

I took the day off on Thursday. My awesome husband Tony was at home (he starts a new job on Monday) and I decided nothing at work was more important than spending some free time with him - and regaining my sanity with much needed rest. I cleared my schedule by working my butt off on Wednesday and spent Thursday relaxing. Seriously, I did next to nothing. I slept til nine, stayed in my pj's until noon, caught up on the previous two episodes of Top Chef, did some reading, and worked on a blanket I'm crocheting. It was awesome.

I realized I've only had three non-sick days off work this whole year so far and my longest "vacation" was July's bout with Poison Ivy. (I was on way to many drugs to actually enjoy that time off.) But overworking was not me getting more done. It was me burning myself out. Pushing myself to get more done until I was wound up so tight that the smallest things set me snapping unfairly at others. I needed rest. True rest.

I realized that this is why God created a Sabbath. It sounds corny because I know I've heard it preached in church multiple times, but I haven't seen that scary work-a-holic side of myself in a long time. It struck me though as truly awesome that He recognized, way back then, our need for rest. I don't treat my weekends as very Holy - more often they are days to catch up on dishes, laundry, groceries, and family affairs. It's something I need to change.

Before I break, I need to break - break from my routine of stress, overwork, and pressure. As I mentioned in my last post, I need to set aside times of reflection in my life.
I need times of peace.
I need breaks.

Cold Tangerines

2009-10-21T20:31:00.003-06:00

My friend Ellen recommended a book to me called Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist. I didn't admit to her (until now) that I cringe a little at book recommendations. There's a certain amount of pressure that comes with reading a book that someone else really likes. Maybe the book spoke to them in a way that it just won't talk to you; perhaps something in a person's life resonates with the book and they only imagine that you share that sonorous quality. Whenever someone recommends a book I find myself reflecting on the quote that, "In literature, as in love, we are often astonished at what is chosen by others."

However, Ellen is someone that I trust and admire so her recommendation didn't dare go into the "perhaps, maybe before I die" pile of books on my mental shelf. Instead, Cold Tangerines showed up on my library hold queue and jumped quickly to the top. I started it this week, and (as of my train ride home today) I have just a few chapters remaining. It's the kind of book that speaks to a reader - I suppose I mean female readers - and I almost wish I could Xerox off different chapters and press them into the hands of family and friends and say "You need to read this!" or "This is SO what you are going through!"

And, of course, with a book that relevant to my loved ones, there were to be found several passages that seemed to be written directly at me. In a chapter called "Prayer and Yoga" she laments that both are decidedly good for her yet she doesn't stick to either as often as she should. (Sound like anyone you know??) I also really liked her thoughts on writing. As I contemplate another looming November with NaNoWriMo, I find myself pondering if I want to embrace - unleash - my identity as a writer once again. I've wavered and flip-flopped about taking on the chaotic novel-in-a-month challenge this year and then, this afternoon, I read this:

"Sometimes when I'm writing, if I try really hard, I can move more slowly, like a dancer or a mime, and taste things more vividly, and see not just the trees and the grass, but the individual leaves and blades. Things are richer and brighter than I thought, now that I have slowed down enough to see them."
~Shauna Niequist, Cold Tangerines p. 137

I don't think NaNoWriMo is quite the atmosphere for slowed down perception that Niequist is speaking of, but I understand her need for the reflective introspection that comes from times of writing. It's where I spent a lot of time in the days when I was a prolific journaler - heck, even when I was a more prolific blogger. I look with some shame on my sparse posting of this year. I see it not as sad because I missed sharing inane thoughts with friends and family but rather, sad that I was living my life without reflection.

There's a famous quote that says "We must live life forward and define it backward," but I think most of us fall into the trap of too much forward motion on that one. Not that it would be good to over-define life to the point of not spending one's time living it. When we can find the place between rushing out to live each day and poignantly reflecting on our journey as a whole, that's where a well paced life will be. Neither hurried nor bored, that will be a balanced life indeed.

Can't they just call it fancy-single-cup-of-coffe-thing-a-ma-jig?

2009-10-16T08:57:00.000-06:00

This week at the train station they've been giving out free coffee as a promotion for Keurig coffee brewers. Well, actually they're not giving out the cups of coffee themselves, but rather they have been passing out a cup with an insert containing the thing that you put in the machine to brew the coffee and then sending commuters to the Great Hall area of Union Station where all of the fancy brew machines are set up.

It's actually something of a brilliant invention. Basically you place the coffee or tea insert (what looks like an over-sized single serve half and half container) into the machine, put your cup under the spout, press a button, and in less than a minute you have fresh brewed coffee or tea. I can see the draw of them for corporations - Tony said they had one at his previous job - but I'm not rushing out to get one in my own home any time soon. In part, because I have no clue how to pronounce the things. Even the volunteers passing out the samples varied from "Free coffee from cure-ig" to "Coffee compliments of coo-rig today" and "Brew your own cor-ig coffee". If it were me I would call it the Coffee-in-a-Minute Machine or something else equally less cool and European but simple to say.

I did like the coffee though. I tried the Caribou rainforest blend and it was really good. The strangest thing was that as I was adding cream and sugar to it there was a man next to me that put five creamers and eight packets of sugar in his drink. The cups were comparable to a small from most coffee shops and my jaw must have hit the floor when I saw him empty creamers two at a time twice into his cup; reach for the sugar, count out four packets, tear them open, dump them into his cup, and repeat; followed by a quick stir and then one more Coffeemate creamer! He didn't even taste it before adding everything! I'm all for sweet beverages (one cream, one sugar for me) but I had to wonder if his drink even resembled coffee when he was done with it.

On Science...

2009-10-09T09:49:00.000-06:00

They wouldn't call it re-search if we found the answer the first time.
-L. J. Guerrero

Part 2 (Peanuts, M&M's, & Me...Continued)

2009-09-30T08:39:00.001-06:00

Consider this something of a follow up to my last blog post. (This will make a bit more sense if you read the other one first.) I feel like maybe I was a bit too maudlin in my introspective ramblings so I thought I would follow my usual blog pattern and tie my thoughts to something from the literary/pop culture world.

Many of you know that Pride and Prejudice is one of my all time favorite books. I was impressed with the Keira Knightly version of the movie but I much preferred the A&E miniseries with Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle. I confess that as a young romantic I daydreamed myself Elizabeth Bennet (really, what girl reads the story and doesn't??). She's an ideal heroine: headstrong, determined, witty, and beautiful and she unknowingly wins the heart of Darcy who is eventually revealed as an ideal man.

The more I've read the story (and various versions of it), I find that there's another character that I resonate more with. As much as I want to be the Lizzie Bennet, I think I may have much more in common with Fitzwilliam Darcy. (Yes, his first name is Fitzwilliam. Not Mister as many seem to believe.) This is where the tie-in to my previous post arises. Darcy is unfairly labeled as proud and arrogant early on in Austen's story because he's not entirely comfortable in social settings. Bottom line: he's shy!

One of my favorite scenes in the novel, is a turning point in Lizzie and Darcy's relationship. She calls him out on his aloofness (which she has assumed is really pride) and he explains that he doesn't always feel comfortable making small talk with strangers. In response, Elizabeth confronts him with an interesting piano-playing analogy:

"I certainly have not the talent which some people possess," said Darcy, "of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done."

"My fingers," said Elizabeth, "do not move over this instrument in the masterly manner which I see so many women's do. They have not the same force or rapidity, and do not produce the same expression. But then I have always supposed it to be my own fault- because I would not take the trouble of practising..." (Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice)

Later in the story, Darcy takes Lizzie's advice to heart and his efforts at "practising" lead her to fall further in love with him. I guess it's partly why I love the story so much because their relationship is not a schmaltzy love-at-first-sight but one of deepening regard over time and the betterment of two people because of their relationship with each other.

But back to my own comparison, I've seen real truth in the lesson Darcy learns. Whether my weakness is piano, social graces, or blog-writing, improvement comes only through practice.

Peanuts, M&M's, and Me

2009-09-28T11:57:00.002-06:00

Consider this something of a riddle... What do peanuts, M&M's, and I have in common? You'll get answer by the end of the post. (How's that for a teaser to keep you reading?)

I was never a performer as a kid. I'm actually the only one of my siblings that never participated in a piano recital and though I may have been in dance under the age of 4, I have no recollections of being on stage solo as a kid. Through elementary and junior high I had a couple bit parts in chorus shows, but never took a lead; and by high school I learned that I was better with behind the scenes work than being on stage. By the time I reached college I was pretty sure that I was overall a shy person.

Yet, most people that know me now consider me to be pretty outgoing. I actually talk a lot in social settings and sometimes I might even be that person with a little too much to say. I love parties, too. (Not to be confused with "partying" - I've never been big on the bar or dance club scene, but if it's a get together with friends for games, movies, or sporting events I'm sure to enjoy myself.) But I still have an inner conflict with my shy-self. When I'm invited to social events, it's a challenge to persuade myself to go. Don't get confused, you read that right: I love social outings and I always enjoy myself, but convincing myself to go is like pulling teeth. I almost wonder if I have some borderline social anxiety or something. I really do enjoy meeting new people, I just get nervous going into situations where I know I will. There's always plenty of perks to putting myself out there; I'm still just struggling to understand why it doesn't come naturally to me.

Now comes the answer to the riddle: like peanuts and M&M's (and I suppose also Peanut M&M's), I have a shell. There's a definite game face that I wear in public and social settings and the me underneath is nowhere near as bold and confident as the mask most people see. I don't think that concept is foreign to many people, I would bet most of us have an inner self that rarely goes on display. The true challenge though is to form the mask to look as much like a true-me as I can. I want to be genuine, never fake. In recent years, I think social-game-face-lisa has come to much more closely resemble private-inner-sanctum-lisa than ever before. Or maybe that's vice versa. Or perhaps the mask has just become a little transparent. I'm still a shy-reclusive-wallflower but I'm also the bold-smiling-butterfly. I'm not even sure how that makes sense yet nonsense could be the most relevant aspect of my personality so I try not to over-analyze disparities.

It just might be incongruities that make individuals a little more interesting.

Motivation

2009-08-21T11:33:00.005-06:00

I'm not generally a motivated person. I prefer to start rather than finish things and although I can be very reward drive, I don't always stick with things when results take a while to see. These traits become something of a hindrance to developing a good workout routine.

A while back, I tried to start a schedule. It was Tuesday and Thursday night which became just Thursday nights when twice a week was too cumbersome. But the problem with evenings is they aren't really good for "me time". There's family birthdays, friend get-togethers, volunteer meetings, dentist appointments, and so on. People always say that a good exercise schedule should be protected time: write it on your calender and schedule other things around it. Except, how do you say no a birthday party because you have to work out? And of course, compounding those dilemmas were the inevitable train delays and work conflicts that didn't get me home on time.

So now I'm going for a new approach. Mornings! I'm aiming for a 5:30 am class at Lifetime Fitness twice a week. Yes, that means I have to get my butt out of bed at 5 am (the hardest part), but it's the only way I can workout, shower, eat breakfast, and still catch a 7:40 or 8:00 train to work. Tuesdays it's Yoga Pilates Fusion to work on core muscles, balance, and flexibility; Fridays it's Barbell Strength training to work on strength and toning. Weekends are for cardio training - swimming or jogging. I'm not trying to lose weight or become a body builder, but I do want to tone up and get my metabolism levels going better. Also, I'm one of those crazy people that finds exercise really relaxing.

I'm posting this blog update as something of a self-motivation tool too. Feel free to ask me how things are going in a few weeks - this will either encourage me to keep up the good work or guilt me back into keeping up if I slip out of things. I've heard it takes ten weeks to really make something a habit so ideally I'll maintain (or add to) my twice a week goal from now until the end of October. I know this will be infinitely more challenging once winter creeps in with cold weather and a car that needs to be scraped off before whisking me off to the gym, but I'm confident that it's a pattern that will be good for me in the long run.

Wish me luck!

Distractions?

2009-07-29T13:02:00.005-06:00

(Phone conversation)

Tony: All this construction in the parking lot is really loud and distracting.

Lisa: Why don't you take the laptop and go over to Caribou or Starbucks to work?

Tony: But then I can't watch the Cubs game....

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

2009-07-24T10:00:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I finished a book I've been wanting to read since I first heard about it: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Here's the review I wrote:

There's no denying that zombies are trendy right now. With video games like the Resident Evil series and movies such as Dawn of the Dead, animated corpses feasting on the brains and flesh of the living have some sort of unexplainable mass appeal. Like many other readers though, the last place I expected the undead to appear was in a literary classic. But that didn't stop Seth Grahame-Smith (either a genius or seriously deranged writer) from rewriting Jane Austen's masterpiece Pride and Prejudice as Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, declaring it "The classic regency romance--now with ultraviolent zombie mayhem".

If the title alone doesn't bring a wry smile to your face or elicit a slight giggle, don't bother picking up this book. Many readers will declare the work ridiculous and scoff at the apparent destruction of one of the most beloved romance stories of all time. However, I was on the right side of the fence to appreciate Grahame-Smith's bizarre humor and although I wouldn't by any means declare the work an improvement on the original, it was certainly a fun book.

Much of the text and plot are preserved from Austen's writing - with the obvious addition of zombies. Instead of country ladies, Grahame-Smith's Bennet sisters are warriors trained in the arts of combat, sworn to defend the crown from the hordes of "unmentionables" that plague England's roads and countrysides. The reader still finds Elizabeth fighting her prejudices (and zombies) to fall in love with the proud (zombie-fighter) Mr. Darcy but amusement is added (along with ninjas) by altering some of the well-known plot points such as the classic encounter between Lady Catherine and the sharp-tongued Lizzy.

Already assured to be a cult-classic, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is a great book for those that love the original but are willing not to take their literature too seriously. It could also succeed in bringing fans of the horror genre to an appreciation of classic literature, but the book is likely more enjoyable for those familiar with the primary text as long as they are ready to laugh at it.

Now it's just a matter of waiting for the September release of Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters!

Where To Begin

2009-07-22T14:52:00.008-06:00

The world of scientific research can be a tricky place to be sometimes. I've often joked, "If we knew how things would turn out, it wouldn't be called an experiment." There's two ways to go about research too: one can either seek out something that someone else has done and apply it to one's own field of study or one can embark on new uncharted territory in hopes of developing a technique that nobody else has done but that others will likely seek out and apply to their own fields of study in the future. The former has the obvious advantage in that it's simpler, more elegant, and generally produces research that gets funded. The latter though is where science can be much more interesting. And much more frustrating.

You can probably guess where my work is currently leading me.

I don't mind that the work itself is frustrating. What I find more painful is when I'm told that certain things are "impossible". I must say, I loathe that word. Yes, the tasks before me are difficult. Yes, they will take a lot of thought, a lot of rethinking, and a lot of collaboration and advice from others. Yes, I will have to synthesize a protocol out of various bits and pieces from people that are working on things far outside of my intended targets. But that doesn't in any way equate "impossible" at this stage in the game and thus, "impossible" seems like entirely the wrong place to begin.

Right now, I have options. Another word for options is possibilities. Only after every single one of them is exhausted will I succumb to declaring the path before me "impossible". That might be where I end, but there's no way that's where I plan to begin.

Fielder Wins, But Pujols Shines... or at least his head does...

2009-07-17T09:29:00.005-06:00

What would Blogger Arrow be without my annual tribute to the Home Run Derby? Let me start with some quick flashbacks to 2008, 2007, and 2006. Ah yes. Those were the days where it took far more than eleven home runs to really impress the crowds. *sigh* This year's competition was severely lacking in the "He hit HOW many???" category that brought jaw drops to greats such as Josh Hamilton and Bobby Abreyu. But as always, I offer a tip of my hat to this year's champion Prince Fielder, first baseman of the Milwaukee Brewers.

With Prince taking the title and Albert Pujols (first baseman of the St. Louis Cardinals) as the obvious favorite, I have to take note of the fact that these two talents both hail from the National League Central division - also the home of first base greats Lance Berkman of the Astros and the supremely awesome Derrek Lee of the Chicago Cubs. There's no doubting the phenomenal quality of baseball played by all four of these men (their numbers speak for themselves) but it leads me to question why the NLC is routinely criticized as the worst division around. Granted, the division typically produces a close race in which many of the teams boast mediocre records at best, but I have to argue that those stats are due more to evenly matched rivalries than overall lack of talented teams, as the media tends to imply.

Before I distract myself too far with topics such as East Coast Bias, let me return to the subject of Albert Pujols. I'm anything but a Cardinals fan, however I have great respect for Mr. P. He's the epitome of a classy player and despite his astounding numbers in the game, he constantly comes across as humble - giving equal praise to both teammates and rivals - and professes his faith in God when attributing a source to his talent. There is one thing, though, that I always seem to forget about Pujols, that I was reminded of at the Home Run Derby: he is bald.

(Not that there is anything wrong with that. I have long been an admirer of the follicly challenged.)

Something about his shiny head, though always seems to surprise me. Perhaps the oddest spectacle of the Home Run Derby was seeing both Pujols and Fielder taking the plate with exposed heads - a rare safe opportunity to do so since there is little to no risk that a batting practice pitcher of their choosing would throw a fastball up and in. Since baseball players are so rarely seen without their caps or batting helmets on, their hairstyles (or lack thereof) can be a bit shocking. Hence my surprise at Mr. P's sparkling pate. For another example, look to White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski. With his catcher's gear, ballcap or batting helmet on he looks like a perfectly normal individual. And yet, when he removes his head-ware, one is confronted with a bizarre shock of bleach-blond hair leaving one to speculate on his passion for surfing in the off-season.

The baseball cap is more than just a uniform piece. It is a fashion statement that these talented men seem to incorporate into their personas. With their team loyally identified across their foreheads, it's no surprise that many of them look like entirely different individuals when seen with exposed craniums. It was actually something of an image hunt to find a photo of Albert without his trademark red top. But it just goes to show that despite their feats on the field, these heroes really are everyday people too.

Look Alikes

2009-07-06T13:41:00.003-06:00

I wouldn't by any means call myself a HUGE sports fan, but summer brings out the best (or maybe the worst) in me with two of my favorite things to watch - baseball and tennis. The former won't surprise many who know me to be quite the Cubbie fan, but not many people are aware of just how much I love to watch professional tennis. Specifically, Wimbledon.

No joke. I. Love. Wimbledon.

It started somewhere in the vicinity of my high school years (perhaps when all my siblings had summer jobs but I was a bit too young) that my mom and I would spend our late June, early July mornings watching the beautiful British competition. I can't pinpoint what exactly I love about Wimbledon - I don't get nearly as excited about the US or French Opens - but something about the high-class traditional atmosphere greatly appealed to my middle-class young American self.

Anyway, this year a bad reaction to poison ivy kept me out of work for a few days last week and the highlight of being "sick" was definitely rejoining my beloved Wimbledon competition as part of the live-television audience. The men's quarter- and semi-finals were especially riveting and I found myself rooting, unexpectedly, not for Roger Federer but for the American underdog, Andy Roddick (picture at right). And he almost pulled it off. Truthfully, I think he deserved it for the simple fact the Federer never succeeded in breaking his serve through the first four sets - and at 130+ mph it's a pretty tough serve to break.

But watching him play, there was a small voice nagging in my head that kept saying, "Who does he remind me of?" Somewhere around set three it hit me. If they ever make a Family Channel movie of The Andy Roddick Story, actor Sean William Scott (picture at left) would be a perfect choice to play the young tennis pro.

Am I right or am I right?

I don't know why my brain always makes these strange connections, but it's my own bizarre world of sports commentary. I've also recently commented that Sam Fuld - a rising star in the Cubs organization - bears something of a resemblance to former SNL odd man Chris Kattan... but I suppose that's a story for another time.

Memorial Day

2009-05-20T10:04:00.004-06:00

I got this cartoon in an email today and I wanted to share it with just one simple request. As we all go into a fun weekend (that looks to have beautiful weather), through the parties and festivities and celebration of a day off work... Remember why.

With my deepest thanks, warmest regards and utmost respect to all those who have served, who are serving and who will serve our country. Thank you for our freedoms, thank you for our lives. Amen.

Enough already!

2009-05-03T20:28:00.006-06:00

Our Purell which art in hand wipes, Sanitizer be thy name.
In sickness come and germs be gone from our hands as they are in public.
Give us this day a test for H1N1 and forgive us our allergies
as we forgive those who sneeze from Influenza B.
Lead us not to contamination but deliver us from swine flu.

*****
Okay maybe I should explain that before people start crying sacrilege. I'm getting really sick of swine flu (pun intended). There has been way too much hype and media fear mongering for my tastes and I wrote this "poem" as something of a satire for where people place their trust these days (some of you have heard my griping about the "Purell Patrol" that enforces the use of hand sanitizer upon entering my building... because, really, the answer to an international epidemic must be hand sanitizer....). I think the news has done too much to sensationalize the outbreak of H1N1. Reports declare "Child in US Dies of Swine Flu" and, not to minimize that death in any way, it was a 2-year old from Mexico who was already severely ill when presented to doctors in Texas. Similarly, a recent headline read "38 New Suspected Cases of Swine Flu" when medical institutions are quite adamant that almost all of these "suspected" cases are turning out to be Influenza B, a very common seasonal strain of flu. I've had enough, people. In the words of The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy: "Don't Panic!"

St Baldrick's Year 2

2009-04-15T20:12:00.000-06:00

Before:

After:

Thanks so much to Dan, dad and Tony for shaving their heads in support of Pediatric cancer research! This year's event was awesome and their team raised almost $1500! Thank you so much to everyone that donated on their behalf! You really are making a difference to children everywhere. If anyone is still willing/able to donate, the site will be up for a few more months. Click here for more information.

Good Friday

2009-04-10T11:33:00.006-06:00

These thousand hills roll ever on
The footprints of a Mighty God
They bring me to my knees in praise:
Amazing love, amazing grace.

Was on a hill my savior died -
A broken heart, a bleeding side.
Hill of the skull, Mount Calvary,
The blood He shed, He shed for me.

When heaven's hills at last I roam forever settle in my home,
I'll join the saints around Your throne - Your kingdom, Lord, rolls ever on.

These thousand hills roll ever on, ripples of a coming storm
The morning star precedes the dawn,
These thousand hills roll ever on.

~Third Day, "These Thousand Hills"

Random Part 2 (aka "I am not a drug dealer")

2009-03-27T08:57:00.004-06:00

I'm kinda stymied with blog topics these days so here's another random gem that might make you laugh/smile a little if you're in a strange enough mood to find it funny.

I just found a scrap of paper on my desk at work with the following written on it:

FIX:
Meth 25
Acid 10
Concentrate 5
H2O to 50

Lest anyone think I'm a closet drug lord I should explain that it's a recipe for a gel fixative that we use for a procedure called silver staining. The ingredients are Methanol, Acetic Acid, a commercial fixative concentrate and water. Knowing me though, I could see using the back of this scrap of paper to jot down a phone number or something and then shoving it in my purse or pocket. Outside the lab I think notes like that could probably get me in trouble. ;)

Random

2009-03-16T22:18:00.003-06:00

For whatever reason Tony decided that he can read the mind of Cubs manager Lou Pinella. Along with his latest voice impression of our favorite skipper, Tony had this insight to share:

"What am I gonna do with Fukudome?"

Hey, I warned you it was random.

I Watched the Watchmen

2009-03-10T08:17:00.001-06:00

I went to see the movie Watchmen this weekend. For fans of the Alan Moore work, it's a must see and though I've long preferred Neil Gaiman over Moore in the dark and disturbing graphic novel genre, it was a pretty cool movie. It has a good mix of dynamic characters, political intrigue, superhero special effects and some kick-butt martial arts fight scenes. It also very much earns its R rating so I have to recommend it with reservations. Much of what was implied in the book version is shown in graphic detail on the large screen and if I were the editor there are certainly scenes I could have done without - but knowing the target audience it's not surprising how much was gratuitously included. Nevertheless, it was a really well done film.

One of the most interesting parts for me was that although the film followed the graphic novel practically scene-by-scene, it brought much more depth to Moore's work by the inclusion of music. On watching the opening credits - a montage of partially still scenes lifted directly from the original pen and inks - a smile crept across my face at the brilliance of the music choice. I became acutely aware just then of how silent a process reading actually is. Even in a graphic novel, presented with perfect visuals of what each character looked like, I never fully thought about what each one would sound like - let alone what the soundtrack of their adventures would be. I'm not always a fan of book-to-movie translations (yes, I'm the one who typically whines "the book was soooo much better!") but in this case the media of film added a new dimension and enhancement to the book that can allow enjoyment of the story for long time fans and newcomers to the franchise alike.

The Bookworm's Back

2009-02-19T21:16:00.000-06:00

I have another book review to share. It's actually a book that I finished two weeks ago but it's one that I can't stop thinking about. (For those more familiar with my literary habits that's saying a lot since I've already finished four and started my fifth book since completing this one.) The book is What is the What by Dave Eggers.

My first surprise on opening the cover of Dave Eggers novel What is the What was the subtitle The Autobiography of Valentino Achak Deng. As my mind struggled to reconcile finding the word "autobiography" on a book plucked from the fiction shelves, I proceeded on to the book's content - a first person memoir of the life of a refugee. Eggers' voice disappeared as the pages turned and the story became solely that of Deng one of Sudan's "Lost Boys" struggling to make a life for himself in America while haunted by the memories of the existence he left behind.

As the story unfolds in the present, Valentino takes his encounters with strangers in America and uses them to mentally reflect on his experiences in Africa. By silently telling others his story (which translates as a complete narration to the reader) he seeks their understanding, their sympathy and their grace and as a reader I couldn't help being captivated by his turbulent journey. There is joy in his childhood in a remote village where a bicycle is a prized and wondrous possession. There is fear in his flight across the wilds of Sudan narrowly avoiding lions and slower killers like disease and starvation. There is desperation in his life at the refugee camp dreaming of something better for himself and wondering if his family has survived as well. There is awkwardness to his arrival in America and the culture clash of living as an outsider in a new homeland.

What is the What is a highly emotional and moving book. Eggers has expertly blurred the lines between fact and fiction to create a fully realized and seamless narration of hardship and endurance in the life of a refugee. With an overarching theme of compassion for others in the face of evil, Valentino Achak Deng's story is immensely powerful. This is a book that will stay with you, will keep you thinking and and reflecting on it, long after the back cover is closed.

At the risk of providing something of a spoiler, the title comes from a Sudanese story in which God first gave cattle to men. Given the importance of livestock in Africa's harsh climate, the cow was the ultimate gift. According to the legend, God gave man the choice that he could either keep the cow or have "The What". This option prompted the man to ask, "What is the what?" to which God responded that man was unable to have the answer and must decide between the known gift and an unknown "what". I won't ruin the story by explaining this any further but the question, and thus the title, has a recurring appearance in the book and the ultimate answer to the question becomes a thought provoking point that I still find myself reflecting upon. Overall, this was a really amazing book that I'd highly recommend to anyone looking for a biography of a refugee's experience or anyone seeking an excellent narration of life in Sudan.

The Godliness, Contentment and Great Gain Paradigm

2009-02-09T08:45:00.001-06:00

This week at church - or rather this month - we've been talking about generosity. This week's message was about financial freedom and it was a very powerful message as the burden of debt is something that I've struggled with all my life. Our pastor brought up a passage from 1 Timothy and amidst Paul's teachings about money he states,

"Godliness with contentment is great gain." 1 Timothy 6:6 NIV

It was pointed out that this verse acts as an equation of sorts in that

Godliness + Contentment = Great Gain

but in the culture of the world we often place things backwards and believe that

Godliness + Great Gain = Contentment

Instead of allowing God's presence and our own peace of mind to define wealthy, we believe that the presence of God along with the fulfillment of material desires will bring us peace of mind.

I agree that all of that is true, but in my mind I took the process one step further. I think in our consumer driven world, we often hold to the view that

Great Gain + Contentment = Godliness

Instead of clinging to God and choosing contentment, we hold up a false picture of who we idolize. It is those people who seem to have it all and - in our minds at least - are the epitome of happy, that we hold up and worship as our ideal. It is the celebrities with fancy houses; the Bill Gates types with huge salaries; the lottery winners with effortless incomes - in many ways they are what we want to be, they are our image of God.

Everyone says that money can't buy happiness and yet so few live as though they truly believe that. I know I don't, and I fall prey to the trap of wanting more than I need and believing that if I just had.... I could really be happy. It reminds me of the Jennifer Knapp song in which she laments,

"And though I'm rich, I claim that I'm poor.
Crying over earthly things I know I can't afford,
But He who died is greater than these.
I should be thankful and praying on my knees."
~Jennifer Knapp, "All Consuming Fire"

So there's my goal for now. Giving up on senseless wants and instead focusing on what I really need in my life - God's presence and opportunities to share His love with the world.

Ever Mindful

2009-02-04T08:16:00.000-06:00

Growing up Catholic, there was a grace that my family and I prayed before every meal. There are two versions but one says,

Bless, oh Lord, this food to our use,
And thus to Thy service;
Make us ever mindful
Of the needs of others,
In Jesus' name, Amen.

When you're little and taught to memorize things like this, the words don't always have much meaning. It becomes a quick poem, a rhyme that we would try to utter as quickly as possible, to get it done, to check it off the list. But something about this prayer has stuck with me over the years and for the past week I've been meditating on it a bit. The first part is what I think of as the traditional "grace" line - a blessing of the meal - but even those simple words contain a deeper meaning. We are asking God to bless our food so that in nourishing ourselves, we can be of service to God. The food is for our use, but ultimately it is a line of stewardship to say that all that is in us, around us, part of us is God's and can be used to serve God. The second line is what I find the coolest part of the prayer: "Make us ever mindful of the needs of others". I think those words are the ones I've been searching for lately. In fact, I'm praying it "Make ME ever mindful, Lord, of the needs of others." Ever mindful. To go through every day mindful - having my eyes open - to what others need, I think that's a powerful ask. A powerful ask to a powerful God.

Super Bowl's Most Famous Feat...or is it Feet?

2009-02-03T10:39:00.004-06:00

Although I wanted to make this post about the Super Bowl a tribute to Mike Tomlin - the youngest coach to win the game - and come up with all sorts of rumors about how he is really the long lost brother of actor Omar Epps, it seems that that topic has already been done before. Instead, I'll focus on an only slightly less overdone topic and talk about the catch that won the game.

Though many players gain great fame from their spectacular last minute awe-inspiring performances, great tribute must be given to the feat - or rather the feet - of Santonio Holmes. With triple coverage and only seconds of game time, Holmes collected a pass from Ben Roethlisberger to the very corner of the end zone and managed to keep both toes on the ground in bounds for the win. I can't even tell you how many replays showed from a multitude of angles that it was in fact a catch, but it might be safe to say that Holmes has the most famous feet of the week. But going back to the man who threw the ball to him, though I had little stake in caring who won the game, part of me was definitely cheering for Roethlisberger. Not only does he have the most fun-to-say name since Plaxico Burress, but part of me feels a little shot of sympathy for him growing up with a name like that. For the amount of times I've been on the phone and had to say "It's r-r-E-r-o" and still have hideous misspellings of my name appear (even by members of my own family!) - I can only imagine the trouble that Ben has been coping with all his life.

Congratulations Steelers and congrats to the Cardinals, for making it a well-played and very exciting game. Congratulations to Santonio Holmes for keeping his feet just right and congratulations to everyone who spelled Roethlisberger correctly. You can all go to Disneyland with Bruce Springsteen now.

The rest of us will wait out the next few weeks of bitter Chicago winter with just one thing in mind - "Is Spring Training here yet???"

This one's for A.P.

2009-01-22T20:08:00.002-06:00

****
A quick preface because preface is a cool word that doesn't seem to get used enough: I sort of quit blogging. Obviously if you're reading this, that's nothing of a surprise for you, but I've been informed that people actually DO read my blog so I'll try to get back into it. For now though, I'll post out an entry that I wrote a last week and left in the drafts folder. Thanks for reading.
****

Last month I got another pre-realease book through Library Thing's Early Reviewers program. There's something ultimately fun about reading a book before it's even hit the bookstores and I figure since the whole purpose of publishers giving out these delicious freebies is to drum up publicity for their product I might as well at least mention the really good ones here as well as on LT. The book I just finished is a nonfiction work called Honeymoon in Tehran: Two Years of Love and Danger in Iran. Here's my review:

Honeymoon in Tehran is a memoir by Iranian-American journalist Azadeh Moaveni chronicling two years of her life living in Tehran and dealing with the complications of a government that restricts the freedoms of women and journalists (and especially women journalists). The book is a resource of world politics as Moaveni presents an insider's view of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's rise to power. The story is even more compelling as Moaveni tells her own tale of falling in love. As she navigates Iranian wedding customs and the issues of pregnancy before marriage, the story becomes a personal one and her balance between factual and emotional writing is exceptional.

In many ways Moaveni's story is a wake-up call to be aware of things that Americans and other citizens of Western countries can take for granted - choice of dress, public playgrounds, sattelite TV, choice of children's names, uncensored internet access, freedom to associate with members of the opposite gender - and yet she paints a fair picture of Iranians in Tehran and refrains from playing the victim despite dire circumstances for her family and career. As a book that both educates and entertains, Honeymoon in Tehran is an excellent book club choice or a great read for anyone seeking a literary trip to Iran.

I got to thinking about this book a lot this week with the monumental inauguration on Tuesday. I won't deny that I'm an Obama supporter. Since meeting him in 2005, I've gained the impression that as a senator - an hopefully now as president - he sees himself as a public servant and I feel that is a role that comes across as more of a rarity in Washington these days. With that said though, I'm not one of the many celebrating January 19th as "Bush's last day in office". I don't think Bush was the villain that many have painted him as. I won't defend his decisions, but I won't criticize them either. Going back to the subject of Honeymoon in Tehran, I'm really grateful to be an American citizen. As I mentioned in my review there are so many freedoms we have in this country that people take for granted. Even those who hated Bush knew that they would have to deal with him for a maximum of eight years - and throughout those years they were able to enjoy the freedom of speaking their mind about him openly, loudly, vehemently with no penalties. Yes, I'm glad to see President Obama in office but I have a healthy salute to former President Bush for his service to our States. Republican or Democrat, Inauguration is bigger than the man in Oval Office - whether you support the current administration or not - this country is one that I'm exceptionally thankful to be part of.

I Won!!! Again!!!

2008-11-30T19:30:00.000-06:00

I finished my novel!!!
*Happy dance! Happy Dance!*

Wonderful Widgets

2008-11-12T16:11:00.002-06:00

In case anyone wants to keep track of my phenomenal NaNoWriMo progres....

And here's a day-by-day view of things too...

(The colors represent how much I wrote in relation to the 1667 minimum - light green is above, light red is below, dark green is WAY above, and dark red is way below. Hence November 1st represents 4K words in a day where as November 7th was around 150 words.)

Twelve days in and I'm already past the halfway point!!!

Kicking some NaNoWriMo Butt!

2008-11-06T13:22:00.002-06:00

If anyone's interested in tracking my NaNoWriMo progress, you can do so here. I'm proud to say that I'm over 4000 words ahead of the daily minimum. And what's even more shocking is that I actually like my novel. This one has a running chance at being readable...

Failed.

2008-10-27T09:05:00.004-06:00

Wow.

Two months sans a blog entry.

Why has nobody chastised me about this???

Too much Facebooking perhaps... By the way, since when did Facebook become a verb? When I saw Neil Gaiman earlier this month he poked fun at someone who asked a question about writing short stories versus novels and "how to transition between the two" - Gaiman pointed out "why not just use the word 'move'? Transition is a noun..." Facebook is a noun, my friends. (Oops, sorry for the John McCain moment there.... Used to be that was my Ditka-ism, now it makes everyone think of McCain.) And yes, I did get to see Neil Gaiman earlier this month on his book tour for The Graveyard Book. Yes, he is an amazingly awesome person. Yes, The Graveyard Book was an amazingly awesome book. No, Gaiman is not as funny in person as he is on paper... he's actually a great deal funnier in person! He had a lot of amusing advice on writing and I think I may need to invest in some goat bones before tackling NaNoWriMo again. Oh yeah... did I mention that I'll be writing another novel next month? I'm going for writing fantasy this time and I'm reading the new R.A. Salvatore novel as inspiration. It's sort of a dual edge though because on the one hand he's the type of action/introspective writer that I can only dream of someday stylizing myself after but on the other hand his stuff is so cool that it makes me want to write down my own ideas.

Bottom line, I probably won't be blogging much until December - perhaps a new Twelve Blogs of Christmas series will be in order - but as always, if anyone else wants to join me on the NaNoWriMo adventure I'll welcome you with open arms of psychotic encouragement!

The Glad Bags

2008-08-28T15:08:00.001-06:00

Consider this a free-for-all on my thoughts at present since it's been way to long since I've touched this blog. My last entry was one of the songs we sang at my great-aunt's funeral last month. (The long story that I won't tell here is that part of my absence from blogging was back to back weeks of out of state funerals in the month of August.) I don't want to dwell on the song because it really makes me cry, but I do want to say a few words in remembrance of my Aunt Pat.

Many of you know that my dad's mom has Alzheimer's disease. It's really hard to face the fact that my parents, siblings and I are virtual strangers to my grandma, but I'd always been blessed to have my dad's aunt as a close relative - in distance and relationship. (She's actually the only relative on my dad's side of the family that made it to my wedding.) In July we got word that she had been diagnosed with an aggressive and metastatic form of lung cancer that quickly spread to her brain. She was placed in hospice care when she didn't respond to treatment and though the doctor's said "weeks to live" I don't know that any of us knew just how literal the "weeks" part was. Just over a month from the initial news, Aunt Pat passed away.

I won't deny the sadness that comes with losing a dear one in such a short time - even with the chance to mentally prepare for her passing, it was still a shock to hear that she died - but I think Aunt Pat, given the option, would prefer not to have had her illness anymore drawn out. This was a woman who lived the essence of "carpe diem". As a former Detroit police inspector her life was marked by fast cars and adventurous vacations and I can only guess that she would have wanted the end of her life to be equally expedited.

At the funeral I had the pleasure of meeting some of her friends that she often travelled with. Oddly enough I heard several of them introduce themselves saying, "I'm one of the Glad Bags". Thinking only of Ziploc, I inquired about the name and it was explained to me that in WWII there was a popular comic strip about an unfortunate private called "Sad Sack" and many groups of men returning from the war called themselves The Sad Sacks. Taking a twist on this and wanting a positive spin, the group of ladies that included my great aunt titled themselves The Glad Bags. The name and their friendship has lasted ever since.

During the funeral service, the priest remarked on their group and noted that it is a rare and beautiful thing to make the choice for joy - to choose to be a Glad Bag in a world populated by Sad Sacks. I think that's a lesson that Aunt Pat taught with every day that she lived and even in death she speaks it still. I feel like I've been saying a lot of goodbyes with this blog lately, so in the spirit of The Glad Bags I won't say Goodbye Aunt Pat.

Instead I'll go with Sayonara - translation: Til we meet again.

A Hymn Remembered

2008-08-24T20:19:00.001-06:00

You shall cross the barren desert but you shall not die of thirst

You shall wander far in safety though you do not know the way.
You shall speak your words in foreign lands and all will understand,
You shall see the face of God and live.

Be not afraid
I go before you always
Come follow Me,
And I will give you rest.

If you pass through raging waters in the sea, you shall not drown
If you walk amidst the burning flames, you shall not be harmed.
If you stand before the pow'r of hell and death is at your side
Know that I am with you, through it all.

Be not afraid
I go before you always
Come follow Me
And I will give you rest.

Blessed are the poor for the Kingdom shall be theirs
Blest are you that weep and mourn for one day you shall laugh.
And if wicked men insult and hate you all because of Me
Blessed, blessed are you!

Be not afraid
I go before you always
Come follow Me
and I will give you rest.

~Robert J. Dufford, Based on Isaiah 43:2-3; Luke 6:20

Feeding the Addiction

2008-08-04T08:42:00.001-06:00

I told myself I wasn't going to do it.
I tried to resist.
I couldn't hold out for long.
I suppose it was inevitable.
Peer pressure has always been a weakness of mine.
Family pressure even more so.
And sometimes it is true when they say "everybody's doing it".
I gave in and joined the crowd.

I'm now on Facebook.

.

Morneau Wins, But Hamilton Shines

2008-07-18T09:47:00.002-06:00

Justin Morneau was crowned the 2008 Home Run Derby Champion with a total of 22 homers. He hit 5 in the third round - the round that matters. I have to at least tip my hat to any member of the Minnesota Twins that can win my favorite slugging competition (as my earliest childhood baseball memories were cheering for the World Champs in the late 80s), however, nobody is talking about Justin Morneau.

A new hero emerged at the HRD with a phenomenal and record-breaking 28 home runs in the first round alone. That's right, he hit more HR's in round 1 than winner Morneau hit in all three rounds combined, and though 3 dingers in the third round declared that Josh Hamilton of the Texas Rangers walked away with second place, he was first in everyone's hearts. His power hitting was not the only thing that garnered him the respect of his peers, the admiration of the crowds and the talk of the town. Josh Hamilton had a much greater weapon in his arsenal than his bat: his story.

Certainly fans knew that Hamilton was not going to be the typical HRD slugger when his pitcher was introduced. We're used to BP coaches throwing for these things, or in the case of last year's outing by Matt Holliday, a friend or relative. Hamilton surprised many when his pitcher took the field - 71 year old Clay Council, Hamilton's high school coach. Not only was Council thrilled to be invited to the festivities and to pitch to Josh at Yankee Stadium, but the man threw 54 pitches in the first round - 28 of which were knocked out of the park! I was ensnared by Hamilton's excitement and charm when after his first slam the crowd went wild and he was heard to remark, "That was awesome, dude!"

Yet even this is not what earns Hamilton the all-too-rare status of role model. His story encompasses a much greater battle and includes a testimony that he openly shares about how he reached where he is today by hitting rock bottom and finding his way back to the top through a relationship with Jesus Christ. I can't even come near to describing his amazing life so I'll send you out to read it in his own words: "I'm proof that hope is never lost."
I loved how Hamilton unabashedly attributed his performance and his very life to the work of God and Jesus. It seems so rare and awkward when God can be worshiped and proclaimed outside of church but Josh Hamilton was able to share his testimony to a packed house at Yankee Stadium and an audience of millions. In that respect, there is nothing second-place about his finish and he will easily be remembered as the hero of the night. Thanks for the show, Josh, but even more, thanks for the story!

Baseball Tip For the Non-Fans

2008-07-14T13:25:00.004-06:00

The Home Run Derby is on tonight and following my tradition (2006, 2007) I'm destined to blog about it. Tune in tomorrow - or sometime later this week - for my thoughts on the beloved HRD as well as the All Cubs... I mean All Star Game. For those of you tuning in to the competition tonight I thought I would help out the non-baseball-junkies a bit. As my random act of kindness for the day I'd like to clear something up....

This is Evan Longoria:

This is Eva Longoria:

Oh, what a difference a single letter can make.

Chasing Rainbows

2008-07-02T20:04:00.002-06:00

Tony and I spent the last weekend in June on a mini-vacation to Galena, IL and Dubuque, IA. We visited a National Historic Park about an hour north of Dubuque called Effigy Mounds. Very cool place, by the way. We did some hiking but fortunately - yes, fortunately - we got caught in a massive rainstorm half way through a three mile hike. We were drenched from head to toe but on the drive back to Dubuque a look out the window revealed a beautiful rainbow arching over the Mississippi River. As we drove onward, I couldn't help snapping pictures because each view was more spectacular. The last is by far my favorite! In some of them you can even see the double rainbow too. Granted the pictures don't quite do it justice - I had goosebumps from the sheer beauty of it (or maybe they were from the drenching rainstorm....) - but keep in mind these are all taken through the car windows with no editing or retouching done.

My mom has always said that anytime she's going through a job transition or other change in her life that God has sent her a rainbow as a sign of His goodness and faithfulness. Tony and I have said that with our current circumstances we're on an adventure, not knowing where the road will lead. The last picture is my favorite because it really looks like we're driving directly into the rainbow. I think it's a good analogy that on a wet road, gray and slicked with puddles, we can see for sure that in the distance is God's promise and we are headed straight towards His goodness, His blessings, His rainbows. Sometimes, too, you just have to be sure to enjoy the chase.

Delicious Ambiguity

2008-06-18T13:04:00.003-06:00

"Some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity."
- Gilda Radner

"Boys" of Summer

2008-06-13T08:01:00.001-06:00

Went to see the musical Jersey Boys earlier this week! For anyone unfamiliar, it's the story of Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons and their rise to stardom from humble beginnings in - you guessed it - New Jersey. (Or more accurately "Joisey".) It was a really fun show and along with having a toe-tapping time, I've had some of the songs stuck in my head for the past three days. On a silly whim the other day I serenaded Tony with one of the hits ("....At long last love has arrived, and I thank God I'm alive! You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you.") To which he responded with a laugh (my singing leaves something to be desired) and the question, "How do you know the words to so many of those songs?"

Good question. Granted I could explain away "Can't take my eyes off of you" as being present in the movie 10 Things I Hate About You. And even "Let's Hang On" was covered by the a capella jazz group Manhattan Transfer on a CD that my sister and I listened to quite frequently as teens. But does that explain, "Walk Like a Man", "Sherrie", "Big Girls Don't Cry", "Stay", "Dawn" or "Rag Doll"? I've always known that I had a good memory but I never quite realized how much song lyrics stay with me even more than obscure trivia or random memories. I know my parents - and even one of my coworkers - love listening to oldies radio, but I'm only just now coming to see how much I've enjoyed the old classics as well.

Neighbors

2008-06-08T10:52:00.002-06:00

Our neighbor Howard passed away last night. When I say neighbor, I don't mean the people that you give a quick hi to when you're out walking the dog and otherwise know nothing about. We live in a condo, so aside from not being allowed a dog, it redefines neighbor as literally the person just across the hall from you. Someone that little by little you invite into your life, get to know, and just assume will always be there. Someone who is somehow, part of what you know as "home". That was Howard.

Everyone in our condo complex knew Howard. He turned 90 last December but his jovial nature and easy conversation reflected a much younger spirit. Summers in particular have always been marked by after-work patio conversations about current events, baseball, and sometimes even the nostalgic reflections of the good ol' days - Howard was a Navy man during WWII and pride always shone brightly in his eyes when he talked about his days on an Aircraft Carrier ("You wouldn't believe the size of that thing!"). And he used to grow tomatoes too. Even better than the farmer's market were Howard's patio grown tomatoes that he was always willing to share.

You get so used to someone that it's hard to stop and think that they're no longer in this world.

His wife is doing well and has the support of several children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren around her. She's assured us that Howard is in a better place now, and there is joy in knowing that, but he will be dearly missed.
Rest in peace, and thanks for being a part of our lives.

Learning

2008-05-31T20:12:00.001-06:00

I think I've been a little too vague and obscure lately. Some of you have gotten the whole schpiel including some that probably didn't care to hear near as many details as they got. To explain, I think it's best just to say that God's had a lot of stuff to teach me lately and here's the lessons in a brief rundown:

1 - Pray. Anytime, anywhere. It does make a difference. It's good for you, good for others, and God really does like hearing from you. Doesn't have to be fancy. Even a string of expletives followed by "I really really need you right now, God" or "why, why, why" choked out through tears will count.

2 - Call on others to call on God with you. Whether it's praying in a group or just asking others to join in your petition, there really is strength in numbers. Thanks to those of you who are my numbers and my strength.

3 - Answers are nice but not necessary. Clarity is a beautiful thing but in terms of prayers being answered, life rarely solves itself as neatly and easily as we'd like. And then there's that oh so common issue of just when one thing seems to be settling down another heap of doo-doo hits the proverbial fan...

These might not seem like major things to learn. Probably some part of my brain learned them all a long time ago too. But I'm a woman of action. I like to solve my own problems and be a fixer whenever I can. It's a pretty big step for me to try to trust and believe that sometimes all God wants me to "do" is call on Him and seek His help, His love, His guidance and His comfort.

Listening

2008-05-09T08:37:00.003-06:00

"All the things I want to say
All at once they wash away
As You walk by, out of mind
My thoughts fly away

All the things I long to hear
Suddenly they reappear
You say in that hour Your holy Power
Will wipe away my fears

I can hear You cry out loud
When You Answer Me
Once again I am revived
When You answer me You answer me with love

To know You are I Am
Confidence of lion lying with the lamb
In greener fields, with all my zeal,
Is hard to comprehend

I can hear You cry out loud
When You Answer Me
Once again I am revived
When You answer me You answer me with love
With love so understanding
I can hardly catch my breath
Seeing this I wonder how You have any love left
Left me not alone
When I did not believe
Through the darkness, through the darkness You answer me

I can hear You cry out loud
When You Answer Me
Once again I am revived
When You answer me You answer me with love"

-Jennifer Knapp

Waiting

2008-05-07T12:09:00.002-06:00

"I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say

Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain,
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty,
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness.

Word of God speak."
-Mercy Me

Please.

Powerless

2008-05-06T21:47:00.001-06:00

"Cause this life is too short to live it just for you,
But when you feel so powerless, what are you gonna do?"
- Nelly Furtado

I think the only answer I can come up with right now is pray.
A lot.

St. Baldrick's (long story)

2008-04-18T08:41:00.005-06:00

By order of the post title, this is going to be my full entry of the St. Baldrick's Event. For those that want the abbreviated version, it's in my last post (here). You've probably already heard by now that The BeeGeeS had a goal of raising $2000. At the start of the event, Dad and Tony were at about $2500 - a phenomenal total! - but the tally would rise even higher before the day was done. We invited all our family and friends to come witness the event and little did we know that it would turn into two new members for the team: Andrew and Dan! (We decided that we then had to capitalize the "S" in BeeGeeS to include all the represented last names.) These guys set day long goals of $150 and $250 to lose their locks and both pulled in their amounts in a few short hours at the event. Along with the extra $75 that Tony raised to shave his beard as well, and a few more donations online from coworkers, family and friends - Team BeeGeeS pulled in over $3000 for pediatric cancer research!! I haven't heard the official totals for how much the event raised - last announced was $22,000 - but it was wonderful to see so many people giving so generously to a cause that I have long been passionate about.

I know I've been saying this a lot, but I am overflowing with gratitude to all of our donors! Please see our "Donation Honor List" to recognize these individuals and families. And also, a huge thank you to those that have donated by check or cash (their names are not listed yet) - but especially to Tony's coworkers as well as our church family at CCC (DownTown campus - we love you!!!).

And now for some more fun pictures!

Those barbers have their work cut out for them....

But are they responsible for lost hair?

I really think the 80's rap star look could make a comeback this year!
A little mousse and he could be a part of a Kid 'N Play revival!

"You don't understand... I'm like Uncle Jesse from Full House - I LOVE my hair!"

Past the point of no return.... unless you want to be Dr. Phil...

A great look for a great cause!

Because razors aren't scary when you get a lollipop to go with them!

"Our husbands are bald AND we get funny glasses to wear!"

Congratulations BeeGeeS! You guys look great!

The Pictures (short story)

2008-04-17T11:03:00.003-06:00

Okay a longer and more detailed post will be coming soon, but for now, here's the St. Baldrick's Report:

BEFORE:

DURING:

AFTER:

With further thanks to all of our sponsors! And yes, Team BeeGeeS gained two more members at the event, but all that will be in my next post (long story). Love, Blessings, and Thanks to all!!!

...And the Money Kept Rolling In!

2008-04-10T11:04:00.000-06:00

Can I just say....WOW!
See our current progress (and add your own contribution!) here!

Nearing a Goal

2008-04-07T15:01:00.004-06:00

So here's the latest St. Baldrick's Fundraising Report:

The Donate Online Link is included in my previous posts if anyone is still interested in giving!

Just so you know...

2008-04-01T19:46:00.003-06:00

Blogger Arrow will not be converting to the new Google Weblogs. You'll have to find my best content all on your own, sorry. I was going to send out an email about it yesterday but my GMail Custom Time feature doesn't seem to be working right now. ;)

Happy April Fool's Day!

....And for something that's not a joke, The BeeGees are over halfway to their goal! Keep spreading the word and sharing the love! Donations can be done online here!

The Clothes Make the Man (...or Woman)

2008-03-27T07:57:00.004-06:00

My church has put out a new 21-day challenge (a reading plan of 21 days of scripture) through the letters of Paul. Yesterday's verses were from chapter 3 of Colossians and the following verse jumped out at me:

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." - Colossians 3:12, NIV

I wrote a bunch in my journal about it and I can't do all my thoughts justice here, but basically I think it's an interesting analogy to consider virtues as clothing for Christ followers. We live in a society in which clothes are often our first impression of people and whether we like it or not, clothing sends snap judgments about other people straight into our brains. (Would you think the woman who cut in front of you at the mall was snobbish if she wasn't dressed in a Gucci ensemble with Prada shoes and a Ferragamo purse? Would you assume the man on a bench at the train station was homeless if he was wearing a Brooks Brothers suit instead of a tattered winter coat?) In Biblical times too I'm sure that clothes also were a sort of statement. Rich people could obviously afford expensive dyes and nicer cloth and religious leaders were probably most recognizable by their dress. So the message is timeless - clothes will tell other people something about you. Thus, if as Christ followers, our first message to the world is that we are covered with "compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience" we're going to more accurately display who God is to those that do not know him. Those attributes should be the first things that others see in us. We must live out and show them, not just think and feel them. Just as we must consciously choose what to wear every morning, we must also consciously choose to wear these virtues in our daily lives.

That's what I'm meditating on today. And as I'm sure you've come to expect, here's the fundraising report for our St. Baldrick's team. Extreme gratitude to everyone contributing. (And if you haven't yet, you can donate online here!) I might sound like a broken record but I really can't say it enough: THANK YOU!!!

Something Yellow

2008-03-24T13:59:00.003-06:00

I bought a bunch of daffodils at the train station on Friday morning as a fundraiser for the American cancer society.* A few started to open during the day and by Saturday morning all ten of them were fully open. I used them as a centerpiece for Easter brunch and I realized that daffodils make me happy. Seriously. I just kept smiling every time I looked at them. So in my random ponderings I came up with a short list of yellow things that make me smile:

1.) Daffodils
2.) Sunshine
3.) Mountain Dew
4.) Big Bird
5.) Tony in a Yellow Shirt

*And speaking of fundraisers for cancer research, it's not too late to donate to The BeeGees for St. Baldrick's Foundation!

St. Baldrick's Update

2008-03-21T11:40:00.002-06:00

Getting Closer!

Hoping we can at least hit the halfway mark by the end of the month! (Donate Here) Thanks to all our awesome supporters thus far!

Help Fight Children's Cancer!

2008-03-20T11:27:00.005-06:00

Many of you have heard by now about the fundraiser that I've gotten involved in to raise money for Pediatric Cancer Research (a field I've worked in for 5+ years). For those that are not in the loop, let me tell you about the St. Baldrick's Foundation. See like St. Patrick before him, St. Baldrick is an Irish saint but unlike the snakes that St. Patrick chased out of Ireland, St. Baldrick was responsible for ridding the Irish of their hair.... Okay so that's not at all true. St. Baldrick is a fictional character - a portmanteau combining St. Patrick and the word Bald - giving his saintly name to the Foundation that encourages volunteers to shave their heads in solidarity with the children who lose their hair to the harmful treatments for cancer.

Next month, two amazing men - my husband and father - are going under the razor and shaving their heads to raise money for this most noble charity! I am so proud of them and their willingness to make this sacrifice. Thank you so much for those that have already donated to their team (The BeeGees)! We are nearing the halfway point to our fundraising goal and if anyone is interested in contributing to the cause, every little bit helps! (Seriously, even if you can spare $10, $15 or $20 - the contributions really do add up!!) The online donation is really easy and you can click here to help out our team!

Meanwhile I thought I would post a little progress meter so that people can keep track of how close we are to the goal!

Act now to be the honored donor who pushes us over the $700 mark! ;)

Thanks again to everyone supporting us! I am so thankful to have six healthy nieces/nephews but I've seen up close the devastating effects that cancer has on individuals and families - especially when the patients are children. The cure for cancer lies not in harsher treatments but in research and the promise of new therapeutics. It really means a lot to me to have others contribute to this cause and make the statement that they believe in research and the work I do!

Thanks and blessings to all!

ECON 102

2008-03-13T08:19:00.001-06:00

There was a guy sitting in the seat opposite me on the train this morning reading, likely studying, an economics textbook. When the conductor came around to collect tickets, the gentleman pulled out his wallet to find that he only had $5. Tickets are up to four something now but there's a two dollar extra fee for buying on the train versus at the station. Seeing panic in the young man's eyes and annoyance from the conductor, I offered the guy a free ride courtesy of a punch on my ten-ride ticket that I keep in my wallet in case of emergencies.* He thanked me profusely but I replied simply "pay it forward" - the instructions I was given when a similar situation last fall left me in the young man's position with a stranger providing my fare.

But the Econ book did take my memories back to my freshman year of college. Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10:15-11:45 in the South Rec Room of Allen Hall was my Microeconomics course that, despite the good grade I earned, I positively loathed. Here's where I should probably insert an apology to those that liked Econ or maybe even majored in it: sorry I hate your subject but it's all good 'cause chances are you can't stand biochemistry so we're even. The only thing I can actually claim to have "learned" from Economics is what econ folks will tell you is the most important thing to know about econ: The Law of Supply and Demand. Good thing I learned it, right? Seeing as how it's a "Law" and all. Basically it's a common sense type thing that says as the quantity (supply) of something goes up, the price of that thing (demand) goes down. The place where supply and demand are at an equilibrium is the ideal price. (I like the part where it talks about equilibrium cause that sounds more sciencey.) The whole concept is better explained with a graph - which is why I remember it, it's sort of like a math problem:

That's the part of Econ I could tolerate. It's when everything got all businessy and theoretical that I wanted to puke. Or maybe just snooze. Regardless, I find there are times when I think back about Supply and Demand and how it really does apply to life. Even in terms of God and the church. I don't really think that as a whole, there is a big "demand" for church in this country. We have plenty of "supply" - drive through Wheaton, IL and there's one on every corner, sometimes two or three! But with this surplus of buildings has come a sort of devaluing of the product. Is church worth an investment of time (and maybe even money) to the average American? I somehow think that maybe there's come a perception that the "price" of church is lower than it should be for most people. We take it for granted. It's always there, same as our Target, Meijer and Jewel. And God's around too. Whenever we need him, no big deal. It's everyday, ordinary, it's a surplus of church. And yet... what value should we be giving to the shining bride of Christ? To a beacon of light in darkness? To our city on a hill?

For an instant let's look at the flip side of this scenario and envision an unspecified East Asian country where there are few Christian churches. As soon as the quantity mark moves to the "shortage" area of the supply line, we see an entirely new intersection with "demand" on the graph. Price - or value, if you will - has suddenly skyrocketed! And sure enough, we find believers meeting in secret, missionaries smuggling Bibles, and overall a passion for God that changes lives and in some cases induces martyrdom. If that example is too far off home turf, think back to your home ground in the days following September 11, 2001. In the midst of tragedy, when many people seemed sure that God was far away - in short supply - there was a huge demand for Him. Prayer services were organized. Bibles were opened. Worship houses were packed. People actively sought His presence, healing and comfort because it seemed (quite falsely) that we were not in a state of surplus of His love.

This is where Econ will always fail us. The Law of Supply and Demand will never fit God's character. Economics has no way to accommodate something (aka God) with infinite price and infinite supply of which we will always be in absolute shortage.** There's no such thing as having enough of God. Equilibrium can never be reached. The less you have, the more you need; the more you have, the more you want. That's called Grace and much as I love math, there's not really any way to graph it. It's best displayed by a stranger buying you a train ticket. You say, "Give me your name and address so I can pay you back," but the stranger just smiles and says, "Pay it forward instead."

*There was something just a little ironic in seeing someone reading economics unable to come up with train fare. That's my wicked side sneaking in, sorry!

**This is why I stick with science, physics says that a thing can be in two places at once depending on whether you look at it, that's a little more God-style.

I know, I know....

2008-03-05T08:01:00.001-06:00

I really need to blog more.
And I will.
But not now.

Birthday Cake

2008-02-28T08:31:00.006-06:00

Here's some pictures of the cake I made for Tony's birthday. I don't want to brag.... oh, wait, yes I do! I'm pretty proud of how it turned out!!

(top view)

(front view)

(back view)

Tournament of Roses Parade (Part 1)

2008-01-01T19:02:00.000-06:00

Preface, 2/7/08: I can't really explain the blogging hiatus other than that most of my thoughts just haven't been put to keyboard. I'll see what I can make up for in the next moth or so. Expect more back-posted entries like this one.

As many of you have heard, Tony and I had the privilege to spend our anniversary in California this year. Next to seeing family, the highlight of the trip was undeniably the Tournament of Roses Parade. I'll spare my Illini comrades the pain of discussing "The Game" but since I'm ages overdue for an update I thought I'd lean on the Picture's Worth A Thousand Words mantra and hope that this makes up for my lack of writing. Here's a quick tour through some of our favorite floats.This one was called "Wild Western Days" and featured a full stunt team. In this shot one of the dancing girls is slapping the guy with her purse but at one point the two men were having a full fist fight on top of the float and one of them threw the other over the front of the railing. It's also a self-built float which we thought was really cool (many of the others int he parade were done by professional companies).

This is an extreme close up of a float called "Preservation Celebration". It featured giant tigers and peacocks all made of flowers and Jack Hannah from The Animal Planet was sitting on the front of it. However, Tony took this picture especially for me because despite all the cool things to see, I was pointing and telling him "It's got monkeys!!!!"

This was one of the most innovative floats in my mind. It was sponsored by Honda and was called "Passport to the Future. It started as a truck and then opened up like a Transformer to turn into a spaceship complete with an astronaut in the cockpit. It was very creative and entertaining!

No parade would be complete without a marching band and The Rose Parade featured almost two dozen of them. Call me biased, but of course The Marching Illini were by far my favorite act! Our whole section was Illini fans so we were all on our feet singing and cheering, but as is always the case these days you had a few people in the group complaining about the retirement of the University's former "mascot", Chief Illiniwek. Needless to say when this next float came by a few groups after the Illini, our section was all too glad to claim his as their own.

It was technically a float sponsored by Farmer's Insurance titled "Celebrating Our Rich Heritage" but to the die hard orange-and-blues around us the only name it needed was "CHIEEEEEEEEF!!!!"
This was a float titled "The Magic of Mardi Gras". It was sponsored by FTD and was one of the most colorful and bright floats we saw. Of course in this picture the clown face just looks a little scary.... Moving on....
"Celebrating America's Favorite Pastime" was obviously commemorating baseball and more specifically the Los Angeles Dodgers. They had really cool blue fireworks spewing out of it but the funniest part of this float was that from about the distance seen in this picture Tony was recognizing the sports legends seated behind the giant floral baseball player. If you're me, you didn't even realize at this point that there were people seated back there but sure enough baseball-boy Tony saw, recognized and named almost all of them. You can quiz yourself if you like. And I'll even provide some closeups:

To my credit I was the one to recognize and point out former Cubs shortstop Nomar Garciaparra (second from the left in the "Dugout").

(To be continued.......)

Tournament of Roses Parade (Part 2)

2008-01-01T19:00:00.000-06:00

(In case you linked straight here, don't miss Part One!)

Forgive the person's head that accidentally popped into this picture but as you can hopefully tell, the Grand Marshall of the parade this year was Emeril Lagasse. For most floats, we clapped or cheered but when he went by we gave him our loudest, "BAM!"

This was another fun and whimsical one titled "We Celebrate Families" by the Ronald McDonald House Charities of Southern California. I should probably mention too that these photos haven't been edited or retouched at all. The colors really were that vibrant!

This was another really creative float called "The World's Celebration Destination" sponsored by the City of Anaheim. It featured the Stanley Cup Champion Anaheim Ducks!

"Rainforest Fiesta" was one of my favorites for the sheer fact that it was just really darn cute!

If the Rainforest wins in my book for "cute", then this one titled "Valentine's Day" certainly gets my vote for pretty. (Who knew it would be Valentine's Day before I got around to sharing these pictures??!?) Both of these were self-built floats, too!

Aslan is on the move! ...Or at least his float is! I really liked all the different shades of yellow and brown that they used on the lion head in this float that was honoring Lions Club International. The seeds and grasses almost gave the appearance of textured fur too!

"Guardians of Harmony" was the name of this float and it was by far the hardest one too get a good photograph of. First off, the thing was ginormous! It was done by the two Cal Poly University campuses (self-built!) and in case the size didn't pose enough of a camera problem, it was moving. Yes, I know everything is moving in a parade, but the serpenty body on the dragon was actually spinning like a corkscrew!

(To Be Continued....Again....)

Tournament of Roses Parade (Part 3)

2008-01-01T18:56:00.000-06:00

(If you linked right here, don't miss Part 2 - which also has a link to Part 1)
Alright enough of me talking about the parade. This is going to be all pictures! Enjoy!

Lisa & Tony - 2008 Tournament of Roses Parade

The Evidence

2007-12-27T08:12:00.000-06:00

I'm sure lots of you already knew, but here's the official results:

60% Geek

Happy Birthday, Andy

2007-12-17T08:23:00.000-06:00

And sometimes Christmas carols just bring tears to your eyes:

Through the years we all will be together,
If the fates allow...

Still miss you, man.
Always will.

Save the Vocabulary, Save the World

2007-12-07T08:21:00.000-06:00

I'll be short so that you can spend more time saving the world... and building brain power. Check out this site:

http://www.freerice.com

Enjoy!

Coming up Roses

2007-12-03T09:35:00.000-06:00

Since NaNoWriMo is over and yesterday brought fabulous news from the world of college football, I thought I'd try my hand at poetry:

Roses Are Orange,

Violets Are Blue,

I'm going to California to see the Illini in the Rose Bowl!!!

How about you?

*HAPPY DANCE!!*

LisaWriMo: I Won!

2007-11-30T09:05:00.000-06:00

I officially won NaNoWriMo by writing my 50,000th word at 5:01 pm yesterday! *Happy dance!* Even more exciting though was that at 8:43 this morning, I finished my novel. *Happy Dance! Happy Dance! Happy Dance!* My final word count is 51,200 though I'm sure that will be altered with the quantity of editing the story requires. Lots of people have asked me "So, what's it about?" And it's a simple question with a not so simple answer. When I mention that it's about a girl working in research lab they assume it's based on real life experiences. Maybe it is a little but it's also entirely fiction. I like what author Katherine Patterson said,

"Thus, in a real sense, I am constantly writing autobiography but I have to turn it into fiction to give it credibility."

Some characters started off as patterns of people I know but many of them took on their own unique personalities throughout the story and ended up looking nowhere close to who I imagined them as. In a few scenes I found myself unintentionally paying homage to authors I admire - towards the end I found I had written shades of Edward Cullen and Boo Radley into two of my players. I borrowed some names from old friends, and have since reconnected with a few while offering my thanks (you rock, Tonya). Most of them are common enough to never be traced back to individuals but one of my challenges was creating believable names for the cast - though Clarissa and Pablo really had to be Clarissa and Pablo. And I butchered science. I didn't intend to, and I feel a little bad about doing so, but it made for a much more exciting story. That's why it's fiction, right? I'll be curious to see if the minor flubs are caught or if it's only through close technical knowledge that things appear ridiculously fake. I'm still pretty genre-less. I classified myself as Mainstream Fiction because there was no listing for Scificklysterymance (that's sci-fi meets chick-lit meets mystery meets romance. It's no coincidence that that describes my reading tastes too.

But the bottom line is - it's done! I finished! I wrote a novel! I won! As part of the NaNo celebration, once I validated my word count I got a pdf file of a winner's certificate. I like the description they give on it (emphases theirs):

This literary honor is bestowed but once a year upon the bravest, most dedicated, and GIFTED of writers who have achieved their creative potential in ONE absurdly challenging month. The bearer of this certificate shall forever occupy a revered place in the firmament of HIGH-VELOCITY NOVELISTS, and his or her work shall stand as an INSPIRING testament to what can happen when one courageous writer triumphs over the naysaying and self-critical voices that stymie the flow of ART AND MERRIMENT in the universe. Congratulations, novelist. The Office of Letters and Light salutes you.

Of course, I almost wish I had been able to read that piece of encouragement before I started. "absurdly challenging month...."; "Revered place in the firmament...."; "stymie the flow of art and merriment...."; those are some great noveling words... I might have to keep them in mind for November '08!

LisaWriMo: Progress Tracking

2007-11-29T11:49:00.000-06:00

Here's a Word Count Widget if anyone wants to track my progress to the end. Sorry I didn't get it up here sooner!

LisaWriMo: Almost finished!!! (...Sort of?)

2007-11-28T08:49:00.000-06:00

As of this morning my word count stands at 47,441. On Monday I broke my record for a single day's word count with 2634 words. On Tuesday I broke Monday's record by plugging out 2990 words. (I almost wish I had written 10 more just to have a 3K day.) It's highly likely that I'm going to hit the coveted 50,000 tonight or tomorrow morning...but you'll notice that I'm not claiming to finish tonight or tomorrow morning. I'm going to revel in the success of "winning" NaNoWriMo very soon but an even bigger joy will be completing my novel - which will likely take an extra couple thousand words above the 50K mark. It would be awesome to complete the story by November 30th but I don't want to rush the ending too much. I posted another excerpt - there are several now if anyone's interested - but even cooler to read is the latest author pep talk by young adult and sci-fi writer Garth Nix. The full text isn't available online yet but as I did with the supremely awesome Neil Gaiman, here's my favorite highlight from the pep talk of Mr. Nix:

"...remember that being published is not a necessary validation or a path everyone wants to take with their work. Writing---and finishing---a novel is a great thing in itself, whether or not the book is published or becomes widely-read or not.

"Finally, I think it’s always best to write the story that is currently strongest inside you, the one that won’t go away, regardless of its genre or marketability. If you are true to your inner vision, believe in the reality of your story and write the book you want, you will bring it to life."

It really answered my inner doubts about whether or not my story had any "readability" and also acts as a nice little answer to those who want me to seek editors and publishers immediately. I might not be a great writer. I might not even be a good writer. But I have a story to tell and I think I've done a pretty fair job at bringing that story to life.

Stay tuned for copious amounts of celebration and a plethora of joyous salutations when I hit the big 50K!

LisaWriMo: The Final Countdown

2007-11-26T08:21:00.000-06:00

I have written - I have HAND-written - over 42,000 words. That puts me a mere 8000 words shy of the goal. That's 84% done. *Insert squeals of delight.* For those of you that stuck with me through my "I-hate-my-novel" and excessive use of rubbish and it's synonyms in describing my writing phase, I thank you profusely. This is the downhill stretch and yet it's also the climactic rush that's providing some of the most dramatic and fun to write material so far. Wish me luck on the home stretch!

Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it

Release your inhibitions, feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you only you can let it in

No one else, no one else can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

...Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten.

LisaWriMo: Overdue Update

2007-11-20T09:04:00.000-06:00

I figure I'm well overdue for an update on here. I'm over 30,000 words into my novel. I know that should seem like I'm on the home stretch but I still feel like I'm heading "into" instead of out of this project. The last few days have been especially daunting - I dropped below the daily minimums for the first time all month - but after a few marathon writing sessions I'm back on pace to make it 50K in the next ten days. Thanks to all who have been wishing me well - from the encouraging friends to the emailed pep talks from famous authors that NaNoWriMo provides - I really couldn't persevere without my cheering team! I actually had an "I hate my novel" moment this weekend and a perfectly timed email arrived from Neil Gaiman - many know he's one of my favorite authors and you can read his appropriately suited for the moment words in their entirety here. My favorite part was:

You're in the middle, a little past the half-way point. The glamour has faded, the magic has gone.... You don't know why you started your novel, you no longer remember why you imagined that anyone would want to read it, and you're pretty sure that even if you finish it it won't have been worth the time or energy and every time you stop long enough to compare it to the thing that you had in your head when you began---a glittering, brilliant, wonderful novel, in which every word spits fire and burns, a book as good or better than the best book you ever read---it falls so painfully short that you're pretty sure that it would be a mercy simply to delete the whole thing.
Welcome to the club.

That's how novels get written.

I'm still on the fence as to how much sharing of my work will be done. More on that to be discussed later, I'm sure. Until then I'm over 60% done... here's to pushing through to the end!

LisaWriMo: First Milestone!

2007-11-06T08:40:00.000-06:00

I hit 10,000 words on my novel this morning!

I sort of promised not to refer to it as my really crappy novel. I guess it's not entirely rubbish.... Sorry I haven't had more blogging time lately. Anyone craving lisa writing can follow the link above to my latest Novel Excerpt.

But in other news Pace Bus Services that were sure to be eliminated on November 4th are miraculously still running. The new threat is to eliminate them on January 1st, 2008. In the past month, many of you heard my passionate ranting on why many suburbs *coughcoughnapervillecoughcough* would be shooting themselves in the proverbial foot if these cuts were allowed. (And 400 extra drivers are supposed to park... ...WHERE?!?!) My new rant involves how annoying and distasteful I find the political pandering and scare tactics involved with approving budgets.

LisaWriMo: Hit the ground Running!

2007-11-01T09:06:00.000-06:00

Okay well NaNoWriMo started today and though I wasn't in the group that began at midnight, I was scribbling away on the train this morning. I'm up to 1,053 words (goal is around 2000/day) so I'm feeling like that's a good start. Check in HERE throughout the month to see my progress. You'll find my current word count and you can also get a brief (*very brief*) excerpt of my writing that I'll try to update every day or so. Thanks to all who wished me luck, I really appreciate the encouragement. And super awesome thanks to my Official Writing Buddies - Laura (Starzgirl), Katy (kasjer2911), and Emily (Nekonezumi) - you guys rock my world!!!

Pine Cones

2007-10-21T13:26:00.000-06:00

Saturday Tony and I took a day trip out to Starved Rock. It was a fun and relaxing time to be outdoors in beautiful weather with the fall colors all around us. If you've never been to Starved Rock I highly recommend taking a trip there - assuming you like hiking and outdoorsy stuff - especially this time of year. For me the most memorable part of the day was when we were hiking to my favorite spot in the park, LaSalle Canyon. As we walked along the sandstone path leading up to and behind the waterfall (there's a reason it's my favorite spot) I started to study the trail we were walking and noticed pine cones all over the path. Taking a look around I did a mental survey of the trees near by - Maples and Oaks and is that an Ash? I pointed out the pine cones to Tony who also looked all around us without seeing any conifers. We came up with various theories about dispersion by wind and animals to explain the presence of the pine evidence. As we proceeded through the cavern beneath the waterfall and emerged on the path opposite our initial trek, we reached higher ground and stared up at the sky. To our surprise, high on the top of the bluffs above our incoming path was a grove of white pines.

I had to share this story because it really made me think about God. Firstly because of the beauty in nature that I will ascribe only to His creation. There was something else though that really struck me. The pine cones on that path were a good analogy of God's presence in my life. So often I'm staring all around wondering where God is. Yet it's only when I slow down and reflect on my life (the path I'm walking) that I start to see evidence of Him all around (pine cones). I can get frustrated because I can't see Him (the pine trees). I'll even try to ascribe the good in my life to other things like luck or hard work (wind and animals). I can convince myself that God's far away and not really concerned with my everyday life, but like the trees high on the bluffs, He is always nearby. Just because I can't see Him directly doesn't mean that He's not surrounding me every step of the way.

Night at the Museum

2007-10-19T23:49:00.000-06:00

A Long Time Ago in A Science and Industry Museum Not To Far Away....

C3P0, Princess Lisa, Tony-Wan Kenobi and R2D2

More on Dr. W (or maybe moron Dr. W?)

2007-10-17T14:01:00.000-06:00

As cool as it was to meet and see a lecture by Dr. James Watson, I'm glad to have gone on the record as saying early on that as much as I admire his scientific research, I don't agree with his personal views. At his U of C lecture he made some very strong claims supporting atheism. Keeping in mind that U of C has one of the oldest, largest, and most prestigious divinity schools in the country this wasn't exactly a smart move, but few feathers were ruffled as it was not a University sanctioned lecture, but rather sponsored by a bookstore. I've since learned (as offal seems to have hit the proverbial fan) that Dr. Watson apparently enjoys making edgy, controversial and even inflammatory comments during his presentations. At Berkley a few years ago he angered audience members by giving a lecture that many students found offensive and sexist. And yesterday in the UK he topped that incident by delivering a talk that now has him labeled as a racist. It seems atheism is only one of his personal opinions that I find quite distasteful and I'm not the only one currently holding that view:

Berkeley genetics professor Thomas Cline said Watson's lecture "crossed over the line'' from being provocative to being irresponsible because the senior scientist failed to separate fact from conjecture.
"If he wants to give a talk like this in his living room, that's his business, but to give it in a setting where it's supposed to be scientific is wrong,'' Cline said, adding that listening to Watson at the podium was "more embarrassing than having a creation scientist up there.''

Ah yes, the creationist is not as embarrassing as a racist. Score one for Intelligent Design? I probably shouldn't joke about that, but the comment did amuse me. It just goes to show that there's more to being "smart" than just IQ and it seems even in the scientific world, intelligence stands for little without compassion, sensitivity and - you might go so far to say - the whisperings of the heart.

NaNoWriMo Ponderings

2007-10-16T11:03:00.001-06:00

This year I'm going all in with NaNoWriMo. If that sounds like some alien language, I'll clue you in that it's actually an abbreviation for National Novel Writing Month. The idea is to take the month of November and write approximately 1700 words every day and produce a 50,000 word novel (about 175 pages) by the end of the month. Bring on the Q & A:

Question: Lisa, why in the world would you undertake such nonsense?
Answer: I've had at least three people whose opinions I value tell me in the past month, "You're a really good writer". I appreciate the compliments but in truth, I don't believe it. I read A LOT and to me "good writer" classifies authors that are way out of my league. Yet at the same time, the only way to make myself a better writer - and possibly even someday ascribe the "good writer" title to myself - is to get some practice and actually write.

Question: What is your novel going to be about?
Answer: I'm still working on that but as the advice I've most often read for new writers is "write what you know" there's pretty good odds that it will at least take place in a lab and might even be marginally biographical. Probably a good mix of genres since that's my reading style too.

Question: Why are you announcing this now?
Answer: I figure there's a two prong advantage if I get the word out that I'm participating, first, some of you might be crazy enough to try it with me and second, this way if I put the expectation out in public I'll be less likely to chicken out like I did last year when my inklings to do this were all in my head.

Question: Does this mean that we'll all get to read your novel on December 1st?
Answer: Fat chance! I've never tried this before and haven't actually written fiction since end of high school/early college. That means that there's a very high probability of producing 50,000 words of garbage and the amount of readers I pass my work onto will be inversely proportionate to the level of crap that deem it. There's only two people right now that are guaranteed a peek at what I come up with (you know who you are!). Of course, I may add people to that list if they (1) attempt NaNoWriMo with me or (2) are extraordinarily supportive of my pursuits. No guarantees though.

Question: Is there I way I can check in throughout the month and see how much progress your making?
Answer: As of November 1st there will be (hopefully) daily word counts and maybe even an excerpt posted on my NaNoWriMo Profile page (user: elbakerone). I'll also try to blog occasionally and let y'all know how things are going and if I freak out and quit half way through I'll shamefacedly admit that here as well. Until then, wish me luck!

Question: What if I have more questions about NaNoWriMo?
Answer: They have their own Q&A site. Find all your answers here.

Lisa and the DNA Man

2007-10-09T08:33:00.000-06:00

Call this a big time "Nerd Alert" if you like, but Monday night I got to meet James Watson! That name might not mean too much outside of biology class but he's one of the men who won the 1962 Nobel Prize for discovering the Double Helix structure of DNA. (If the names Watson & Crick sound familiar, he's THAT Watson). He was giving a lecture on a new book he wrote at the U of C campus so my coworkers and I decided to go see him. The cool part was that we got there early and he was just hanging out so we got to sit and chat with him for a while before the talk. And he signed a copy of his book for me!

He's a pretty funny guy too. The title of the book is Avoid Boring People - he goes on to explain that boring is both an adjective and a verb. When you're young, he told me, don't waste your time with people that aren't doing interesting work and when you're old he says to avoid being a bore by keeping yourself involved with the work young people are doing. Also cool was the fact that he held a Q&A session after his talk. It was weird because every other time I've been to a scientific lecture or conference one of the first few question askers usually says a quick thank you to the speaker (sometimes EVERY person asking a question thanks the speaker) but five or six people asked questions without thanking him so I got in line. I said something like "Dr. Watson, first off I'd just like to thank you for coming. It really is an honor to have you here. You mentioned that you always knew you wanted to go into science I'm curious about when you first decided to become a writer." (He's written eight or nine books now varying from biology texts to biographical work and some other stuff that's more stories from his labs.) Anyways, he went on and on in his answer and all my coworkers told me that I had the best question of the night. I think he was just happy to be thanked and I also figured it was maybe something that he didn't get asked a lot.

He had a lot of cool things to say and aside from one of his responses where he presented his EXTREMELY atheistic views on the importance of science over religion, I really enjoyed his talk. I'm not sure why so many top level researchers can't find a coexistence between faith and reason but the more time I spend in scientific circles the more I realize that following Christ places me in the minority among scientists. As much as that is a frustration, I also see it as something of a "reason why I'm here". As awesome as it is to explore pursuits of the mind, they mean little to me without the whisperings of my heart. :)

Again, this probably much cooler if you're a big nerd (like me) but it really was a great opportunity. Just take my word that James Watson is to Biology what Albert Einstein is to Physics!

A Sigh and A Shoulder Shrug

2007-10-07T22:26:00.000-06:00

The Cubs are done. Again. And without even winning a single playoff game. It's sad, disappointing, frustrating, annoying and a slew of other adjectives that aren't fit for publication here.

"There's Always Next Year" doesn't seem much comfort right now, but somehow the Bears beating the previously undefeated Packers does act as something of a balm on the current Cubbie heartache....

But still. *sigh* It's gonna be a long winter.

They're singing "Go Cubs, Go!"

2007-09-30T08:55:00.000-06:00

Book Blog

2007-09-27T08:06:00.000-06:00

Many of you are familiar with my ~~obsession~~ fascination with a website called Library Thing (LT) - provider of my supremely awesome Blog Widget for Recently Read Books. In the true tradition of The Best Just Got Better, I signed up for a program they have called Early Reviewers. The deal is that publishers come to LT and offer up free copies of their books and LT goes through and "matches" the books offered to readers based on what's already in users libraries - sort of a smart selector for book reviews, "if you read x, you might like y". The selected readers then review the book and offer their review back to the publishers for publicity purposes all for the fair price of a free book that usually is not yet published. This past month I scored my first free book. Aside from a few political books in my catalog, I'm not certain how I matched to it but as I am always up for new (and free) books from any genre complaints were the last thing on my mind. The book is called Red Zone Blues (subtitled A Snapshot of Baghdad During the Surge) and is written by Asia Times journalist Pepe Escobar. It was a pretty decent book and I thought I might as well share my review here and if anyone else is interested in reading it, I'd be more than happy to pass it around (which is also true for any and all books I own so if there's something in my catalog that you want to borrow let me know - I'm working on adding an "own" tag to distinguish books that are in my actual possession versus ones I've borrowed from friends or the local library). Anyhoo, before I get too rambley, here's my Red Zone Blues Review:

Red Zone Blues: A Snapshot of Baghdad During the Surge is an insider's look at the past, present and future state of life, war and politics in Iraq. Parts of the book are highly critical of American foreign policy, yet Pepe Escobar focuses not on the US military, but on the Iraqi people. Stories are told of the leaders of the factions fighting for power as well as the heart-wrenching narratives from everyday people struggling to live within and around the war zone.

Each brief chapter of the book presents a different point about the conflict or current Middle Eastern politics. I found this format to be a bit distracting, as I had expected a more cohesive account. Although he warns readers that he is writing the "Blues" about the horrid state of Iraq (and constantly reiterates the popular idea that US occupation in Iraq must come to an end), Escobar could have provided his own suggestions or solutions to restoring Baghdad to stability. With the opportunity to present his own editorial, he instead chooses to remain amid the dismal facts and offers no hope for Iraq's future. Perhaps his stance is best summed up in a quote from one of his interviews stating, "[s]ome think it's better for the Americans to stay, otherwise there will be civil war. Others think they should leave. There is no united opinion."

Escobar's writing provided thought-provoking insights with every turn of the page. I most enjoyed the human perspectives and reading the interviews that Escobar, at times, risked his life to conduct. Whether or not readers agree with Escobar's views, I would recommend this book to anyone strictly for the factual information about US foreign policy and the current state of the Middle East. Red Zone Blues is an intense but satisfying book and the straightforward journalistic style will cause many Americans to evaluate, and possibly re-evaluate, their views on the war.

And I should add the disclaimer too that I'm still learning the ropes for writing good book reviews. My style and format tend to vary a lot but any feedback or polite critiques that people want to provide is more than welcome.

A Commuter's Rant

2007-09-25T07:58:00.000-06:00

I'm not normally one to complain, but just take this as a blowing-off-steam rant. A little taste of my morning:

A ride on a CTA bus.
A 35 minute ride on a CTA bus.
A 35 minute ride on an overcrowded CTA bus.
A very bumpy 35 minute ride on an overcrowded CTA bus.
A very bumpy 35 minute ride standing on an overcrowded CTA bus.
A very bumpy 35 minute ride standing in heels on an overcrowded CTA bus.
A very bumpy 35 minute ride standing in heels on an overcrowded CTA bus without air conditioning.
A very bumpy 35 minute ride standing in heels on an overcrowded CTA bus without air conditioning in 85 degree weather.
A very bumpy 35 minute ride standing in heels on an overcrowded CTA bus without air conditioning in extremely muggy 85 degree weather.
A very bumpy 35 minute ride standing in heels on an overcrowded CTA bus without air conditioning in extremely muggy 85 degree weather with seated men that don't offer their seats to ladies in high heels.
A very bumpy 35 minute ride standing in heels on an overcrowded CTA bus without air conditioning in extremely muggy 85 degree weather with seated men that don't offer their seats to ladies in high heels and can't figure out how to open the windows.
A very bumpy 35 minute ride standing in heels on an overcrowded CTA bus without air conditioning in extremely muggy 85 degree weather with seated men that don't offer their seats to ladies in high heels and can't figure out how to open the windows so that you feel dizzy by the time you get to work.
A very bumpy 35 minute ride standing in heels on an overcrowded CTA bus without air conditioning in extremely muggy 85 degree weather with seated men that don't offer their seats to ladies in high heels and can't figure out how to open the windows so that you feel dizzy by the time you get to work but you're simultaneously so glad to finally be done with the "very bumpy 35 minute ride standing in heels on an overcrowded CTA bus without air conditioning in extremely muggy 85 degree weather with seated men that don't offer their seats to ladies in high heels and can't figure out how to open the windows so that you feel dizzy by the time you get to work" that you're able to put the dizziness aside and get on with your day.

If not me, why not you?

2007-09-21T08:16:00.000-06:00

Okay so it's a pink vacuum cleaner and maybe that's not your thing, but it's pretty darn cool and they're giving it away for free! Let's see.... which one of these things makes it most attractive to me? It's a Dyson... It's Pink... It's supporting cancer research... It's free... Uh, yeah. I'll go with all of the above.

The Dread Pirate Brody's Real Name?

2007-09-20T08:00:00.000-06:00

My pirate name is:

Mad Bess Flint

Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

So my original pirate name (back in '02 when only the fiercest of us had even heard of TLAP Day) was The Dread Pirate Brody (long story) but I guess Mad Bess Flint has a certain ring to it. Maybe Mad Bess Flint Brody works. Go ahead and take the quiz and let me know your own pirate name!

Happy Pirateering To All And To All A Sword Fight!*

*Yes, I just coined that phrase. Consider it my own personal trademark.

Because It Nev-arrrrgh Gets Old

2007-09-19T08:35:00.000-06:00

HAPPY TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY!
http://www.talklikeapirate.com

The Dread Pirate Brody's Official Pirate Day Archives:
2006 (The Best of Movie Pirates)
2003 (Pirate Jokes)
2002 (The DB article that started it all)

I was a pirate before pirates were cool.

Another LOL

2007-09-14T07:56:00.000-06:00

I'm always amazed at how many different things LOL can stand for. Any onliner will associate it with "laugh out loud" and my college crew will recognize it as the header of my old weekly/monthly email updates in which it stood for "life of Lisa", "Lisa on life" or "Lisa Online". I've often signed greetings to friends and family with "lots of love" and also had the St. Patty's day interpretation meaning "lots of luck". The abbreviation can represent Jesus as "Lord of Lords" or a spicy grandma who wants to be a "little old lady" looking for a new "lease on life". Regardless....

This past week I've made an acquaintance with a new organization that's commonly referred to as LOL: Locks of Love. Many of you know that I've been growing my hair out for a few years in order to take part in an interesting form of charity - and this week marked the day I "made the cut". Locks of Love is a nonprofit group that accepts hair donations in order to make wigs for children with hair loss (most people assume it's only for chemotherapy patients but there are also many genetic diseases and auto-immune disorders that cause baldness in young people). The donation guidelines are a little strict in that at least 10 inches of hair are needed to make the wigs so you can imagine that it's a pretty drastic change in my hairstyle. My mom treated me to a cut and color with her favorite stylist at Zano salo n which was a wonderful experience. Any haircut that includes a neck and shoulder massage gets a two thumbs up in my book! So far I like my new look and it's been met with pretty positive reviews (assuming that "Oh my gosh! I didn't recognize you!" can also be considered positive) from family, friends and coworkers. I'm still getting used to having a much chillier neck but there's great advantages to going from 40 to 4 minutes in my necessary use of a hairdryer. To anyone with long hair that's debating making the chop, I highly recommend the experience! Check out http://www.locksoflove.org for more information.

A Vermont and Wisconsin Bithday

2007-09-12T08:58:00.000-06:00

My birthday took place neither in Wisconsin nor Vermont, and although I have friends in the former and a teddy bear from the latter, WI and VT are meant a little more metaphorically in this case. Wisconsin as all midwesterners know is famous for cheese and no pancake lover will deny the association between Vermont and maple syrup. So in saying that I had a very Vermont and Wisconsin birthday I mean that it was sappy and cheesy - in all the best ways possible. I mentioned before that I had a really fun family party on Sunday. Unfortunately the Bears couldn't gift a birthday win for me but it was all in all a fun time hanging out. Monday was a really awesome time too. My coworkers surprised me with a candle laden coffee cake instead of our traditional Monday morning lab meeting bagels. Then around 1 Tony came to pick me up and not only did I have the joy of a half day off work, we got to walk around the U of C campus and visit Frank Lloyd Wright's Robie House. Then we skipped over to the Science and Industry Museum and saw a really cool Omnimax show about Mummies, Pharaohs and Ancient Egypt. Yes, this is further evidence of what a supreme nerd I am because it was 110% educational and I loved it! (Hey, I warned you it was cheesy!)The really awesome part of the day too was that Tony took me out for a surprise dinner at Catch 35, a really fancy seafood restaurant. We'd both been wanting to go there for a long time and it was excellent! The food was supreme, the service was great and the fact that it was Monday night made for a very non-crowded romantic dinner. And as if that wasn't amazing enough, Tony had flowers for me delivered to the restaurant so that when we were seated at the table I noticed a card from him in the middle of the gorgeous centerpiece. What a guy, right? (Hey, I warned you it was sappy, too!) Hard to believe the years are flying by but if the birthday sets the tone for the year, I'm in for a wonderful time as a 27-year old!

Driving in Cars With Balloons

2007-09-09T20:01:00.000-06:00

Wow! What a weekend! I had a super fun birthday celebration with my family today but I spent most of Saturday in the hospital. Don't worry, I wasn't IN the hospital, rather I was visiting my sister who was having a baby! She delivered a happy and healthy baby girl. She's quite the cutie, just like her mom. ;) I had an interesting time getting to the medical center though because I made the mistake of buying balloons ahead of time. Financially this was a wise move as party stores achieve the accounting miracle of making a profit while charging less than a third of what hospital gift shops deem reasonable. And balloons really are an ultimately ideal gift for a new arrival, but there is a slight issue in transporting them. I was too afraid of poppage to put them in the trunk (those who have ever seen the cluttered pit that is my car trunk will understand) so I designated the backseat as the bouquet containment area. I should probably explain that there were only two balloons but that one of them was a jumbo sized pink foot emblazoned with the phrase "It's a Girl!". (I'm not entirely certain why a foot is the new universal symbol for "baby" but it was a cute selection.) If you've never driven with balloons in your backseat, I'll explain that there are only two positions the helium filled atrocities will occupy: blocking the rear view mirror or obliterating your blind spot. And more often than not there will be multiple transitions between these placements as the trip progresses. And of course due to construction, ridiculously slow drivers, and a brush collection truck that was pelting my car with sticks I had to change lanes about eight times. That is, I had to change lanes about eight times while having pink mylar monsters flying between my rear view mirror and my blind spot. You can imagine me driving: one hand on the wheel, one hand on the turn signal and one hand frantically swatting balloons out of view. You're probably thinking that that doesn't add up - and you're right. Amazingly I avoided both accidents and traffic tickets but my inability to read the proper signage left me parked at the exact opposite end of the hospital complex from the Labor and Delivery entrance but I suppose I'll leave "Riding in Elevators With Balloons" for another time.

The Downward Dog Ate My Homework

2007-08-28T10:11:00.001-06:00

I went to a yoga class at Lifetime last night. *waiting for laughter to subside* I'm serious. I, the queen of clutz, was learning to stretch, balance and breathe my way into the relaxation that can only come from transforming oneself into a human pretzel! Tony has still been having back pain from his car accident and with my copious amounts of joint problems (my knees and hips tend to do random impressions of popping corn), we thought yoga might be a good habit to start. So we ventured over to the health club - side note here: What happened to the 80's when you could go "exercise" at "the gym"? Now it's all going to "work out" at the "health club"... anyways - little did we know that "Fitness Yoga" would be much more the former than the latter. Gone were my previous experiences of gentle stretching and calming breathing. This was an all out kick-your-butt stretching and straining of muscles I forgot I even had! I knew it would be rough when we started with a sequence of four moves (that we returned to several times throughout the class). The first is Downward Facing Dog - a pretty basic move with your palms and feet flat on the floor and your butt up in the air with your arms and legs straightened so that if you strung a line between your elbows and knees it would be an accurate impersonation of the letter A (no comment on the fact that people were not designed to be shaped like letters other than I). It's not too difficult but when you focus on keeping your heels flat to the ground it provides a somewhat pleasant stretching to the shoulders and quads. From Downward Dog the instructor shifts us to Plank. In Plank you are on your toes with your palms still flat and arms straight but your back straightens so that you're essentially in the up position of a push up. Then comes Chaturanga. If you've never done yoga, fear the Chaturanga. Chaturanga means "Four Limbs" and comes from the words "chatur" meaning "four", and "anga" meaning "oh wow, I found my triceps!". Your hands and feet keep the same position as Plank but you bend your elbows and bring them into your sides and balance with your nose inches from the ground for an undetermined length of time (see painful picture at right, well, maybe it's not painful if you look like THAT but for us normal humans....ow!). Yeah, it's basically like doing the first half of a push up but you're supposed to be all slow and graceful and if you're like me and haven't really done push ups regularly since high school, it starts with a slow burning in the triceps and moves into all out agony by the eighth time through the sequence. The last pose is Upward Dog and it took all my reserve not to ask the instructor or fellow pretzel people, "What's Up, Dog?". Yes, it's pretty much a reversal of Downward Facing Dog, in that your back is arched with your chest up, hips lifted and head back, but a more appropriate title would be The Little Mermaid pose. Really, no one's done it better since Ariel and you can see from her expression (at left) that she's extremely excited to have been relieved from the agony of holding Chaturanga for too long. I suppose it's also saying something that I need to take flexibility lessons from a cartoon character...

The other thing I should mention is that Lifetime Fitness does a really cool thing when the weather's nice - they have Yoga Under The Stars by the outdoor pool. It was a nice evening and I thought this feature would enhance the relaxation aspect of the class but a more accurate name for it would be Yoga Under the Stars Obscured By Light Pollution or even better Yoga With Our Friends the Mosquitoes! I was doing pretty good with some of the other crazy balance moves we tried except it's quite difficult to stand in a position like the triangle (at right) and try to focus on relaxing and breathing when a mosquito and three of it's buddies are feasting their way up your ankle and around the circumference of your elbows! And then, since the insects were out in full force their predators joined us too - and really is there anything more calming than staring at a sky filled with swarms of bats?!??? Every time we hit Upward Dog I found myself fearing a face-full of guano. *Eeeeuuughhhh* But the bats left us alone and I suppose I've done worse then sixteen mosquito bites in a night. I'll keep you all posted into my further ventures of human pretzel-hood in the future but for now all I can say is: Beware the Chaturanga!