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Remember that really dramatic scene in the first Matrix movie where Morpheus is explaining what the Matrix is to Neo and the whole scene spins with the really dramatic music leading up to Lawrence Fishburne's oh so cool delivery of the line "Welcome to the Desert of the Real."? That was cool wasn't it??
Well, the reason I mention it is because lately I think I've been welcomed to the "Desert of the Surreal". Now I'm not talking surreal like Dali's melting clock paintings or my life is a Tori Amos video or even surreal like some postmodern "what if we're all just brains in jars on a desk somewhere and broccoli can feel pain" philosophy. This is more the surreal in the sense of things in life coming together so fantabulously that I'm in the pinch me so I know this isn't a dream stage of having no actual words to describe life such that the only audible description of the present is a very Keanu Reeves style exclamation of:
Woah!
Ever have one of THOSE days/weeks/months/lives?? A lot of you know what this is about, if you don't, you'll find out eventually. I would spell everything out but first off that's no fun and secondly I run the risk of coming across as either boastful or fickle and desire to be niether. Needless to say, it's not about med school. In fact I've pretty much decided that I'm not even going. (See, don't I seem fickle??) It's not a bad thing though. I'm a little glad to actually look at the next decade of my life and say, hey, I'm actually gonna HAVE a life! Right now I'm thinking that I'll end up as a nurse or a teacher (more likely the latter but the former is intriguing me right now). I guess I've always been the indecisive one, but some things, believe it or not, are constants. One of those is my middle name (Joy) which my life has always been filled with but is sometimes - like now - overflowing with. I've come to realize that it's only when I convince myself that something right is wrong that I run away from what I should pursue or pursue that which I should flee (or that which should be pursuing me).
That probably makes little to no sense. Which is about right. Sometimes the only sense you can get out of life is a sense of humor. Which may explain why I can't stop smiling. I know all thanks goes to God, but I can't help but give a little credit to the Chicago Cubs, Harry Potter, and of course, Adrien Brody.
Alright now I'm going from the bizzare to the ultimately obscure. Words words words, so many of them yet saying nothing. Then again this is the Desert of the Surreal (even though "desert" doesn't quite seem the right noun for this place...). While I'm off in Tangent World and since Adrien Brody got his second LoL mention, I may as well keep up the craziness. In the tradition of Celebrity Death Match imaginary matchups -
Who would win: Adrien Brody, Kerry Wood, or Kid Rock?? (And if you're not hip to pop culture these days, Mr. Brody is the actor who won an Oscar for The Pianist ; Mr. Wood is one of the coolest pitchers in baseball - he plays for the Cubbies ; and Mr. Rock (?) is a guy who thinnks he's much cooler - and younger - than he is and is caught somewhere in between music genres of heavy metal, rap, punk, and country) My first call in this odd matchup would be to give the whole thing to Kerry Wood based sheerly on athletic ability. This could be a mistake though because as witnessed with his Halle Berry kissing Oscar acceptence we all know that Adrien Brody is in fact the spontaneous and unpredictable competitor. Plus we have to account for the general creepiness factor carried into the match by Kid Rock, seeing as how creepiness could serve a distinct psychological advantage, especially in a three way competition. Now if in fact we were to make this some sort of intellectual challenge, I'd eliminate Brody right away based on the complete stupidity of aforementioned Halle Berry kissing (hello! she was neither asking for NOR expecting that, and isn't she MARRIED???). Which brings it down to Kerry and Kid... My first inclination is to give this one to Kid Rock. After all he was the one who came up with the lyrical genius of "Ba wit da ba da bang da bang biggie biggie says da biggie says up jump the boogie". Uhhh...yeah with that said, Kerry Wood. Hands down.
Anyhoo, I think I've ventured away from reality for long enough.
Surreally Yours,
lisa :)
p.s. Este "shouto-outo" es por Antonio porque el es mi profesor nuevo de espanol (y spanglish). Y este mensaje en todo es sobre el. :)
Friends, it is with great blankness and an empty mind that I possibly regret to inform you all that my creativity has ceased to exist. I cannot for sure place an exact date or time to the departure of the creative random psychoses that has given rise to such great debates as "Cooler miniscule sidekicks: Ewoks or Oompa Loompas?" and "Who would win in a fight: Ian McKellan as Gandalf or Ian McKellan as Magneto?" but I find that my creative inspirations have waned. Long gone are the days when I could weekly greet you all with a description of my typical day through the perspective of my sense of smell and no more can I conceive of such gems of uniqueness such as interviewing myself as a late night talk show host.
Someone once said that there are no new ideas in the world anymore - that every so-called unique concept is, in essence, an old idea simply clothed in a new format. If this year's summer movie lineup is not evidence of the truth to that statement, perhaps then, the mere fact that I am quoting some anonymous person who said it makes it some type of self-validating factoid of truth. I know that some of you reading this will be eager to bring up my use of such phrases as "self-validating factoid of truth" as defense of my lingering creativity. You may desire to suggest that my creativity is more akin to a missing person than to a dearly departed. I admire these sentiments with all of the optimism a stoic can muster but I am compelled to explain to you that I have nothing to say.
But let us not view this as a sad point.
Instead, let us remember together that the very foundations on which the LoL's were conceived is the principle that I have never had anything of importance to say and yet have refused to adhere to the age old addage of "If you don't have anything to say, keep your mouth shut". (In my defense too, I must point out that in truth, my mouth is shut and it is only my fingers on a keyboard that have released my insanity to you). Even now, as I approach what may be debated as the fourth or fifth paragraph of this e-mail I am gladdened by the fact that I have said close to nothing in the most creative way possible. The spirit of creativity does indeed live on regardless of the fact that any suitable topic for my rambling eludes me.
One might suggest that the topic of my rambling should be myself. You may be asking yourself: Self, what has been going on in the crazy life of Lisa B lately? But there comes a point where I just flat out tire of talking all about me. Besides, my life -or lack there of- is boring. Seriously. Not that I don't love it (Movie quote du jour: "I love being me. Ask anyone!") but let's take a quick peak at the highlights of the last week of my life: Monday - started working on a double plasmid SPARC transfection with a tet on/off system ; Tuesday - hectic work day, went wallclimbing to blow off steam and excercise ; Wednesday - went to the Taste of Chicago, spent the evening wandering Chi-town and eating yummy food (CHEESECAKE!!!), went to a late show of Terminator 3 and got in free cause of spiffy manager friends from Cantera ; Thursday - got my MCAT results, got over subsequent self-loathing and disappointment, realized that I was being too hard on myself but spent most of the evening rethinking the plans of my life, stayed up waaaaaay too late hanging with spiffy people and watching Alien Resurrection on USA, packed to go to Michigan, planned to take hour nap before leaving at 5 am for MI ; Friday - recieved call from mom at 3:30 just as I was heading to bed that we were leaving at 4 instead of 5 , stayed up entire car trip talking to parents, arrived in Michigan sleep deprived yet hyperily caffinated, hung out with spiffy cousins ; Saturday - more hanging with spiffy cousins, swimming boating, reading, relaxing ; Sunday - same as Saturday plus sunburn ; Monday - headed back from Michigan, unpacked, chilled out ; Tuesday - back to trying to understand the complexities of tet on/off systems and their applications in double transfection experiments.
See what I mean? I have no life. I have nothing to ramble about! I have nothing to be creatively funny about!! I have absolutely nothing to say!!
Yours,
lisa :)
p.s. Where inspiration ends, satire begins.
p.p.s. SHOUTOUT TIME!!!! First off big Happy Birthday Shoutouts to Emily H, Beth T, and Agnes Z who in the month of July will be turning 23, 24, and 25 respectively. Also a shoutout to Jason and Jessica Jigga-M! Sorry I missed the wedding but love and congratualtions to you both!! Next, I don't want to take away the right to spread her own news too so a shoutout to a super spiffy friend that recently got engaged - yeah, you know who you are - love ya lots, girl!! And even though I still say you've had too many shoutouts of your own lately I also said that anyone who asks for a shoutout will get one - my last very special shoutout is for Adrien Brody (and no, the REAL Mr. Brody isn't on my list, but he makes someone happy who is on this list and I needed to prove that I'm really not the Shoutout Nazi!).
p.p.p.s. For anyone who knows why it's hilariously cool and funny during one breakfast in Michigan, Jenny and Beth were quoting Eddie Izzard: "Cake or Death??" "Uhhh...Cake please!" "Cake or death??" "Cake please!" "HAHHA We're out of cake!!" "So you mean my only choice is 'OR DEATH?'??" hee hee funny stuff :)
Yeah.
It's a song by Staind.
Not Nickleback.
I just like Chad Kroger and tend to attribute cool songs to him.
Blame the fact that I'm subject to crap music at work. Or just say that it's lack of sleep meets excess sugar. Or just write it off to me and the rest of my psychoses. Either way safer bets now could be as early as mid July instead of Late August.
lisa :)
p.s. no clue? read 34.
In the immortal words of Nickleback "It's been a while....." since I've sent an LoL. And actually in all fairness to Chad Kroger and the boys I should quote them as saying "Tsbeenawhile" because I don't even know if they're aware that there should be four words there.
Anyhoo, some of you have been bugging me about what the deal is with the lack of LoL's lately so here's number 34 with extreme apologies for its delay to those of you that missed me and with extreme apologies for its arrival to those of you that were thankful for the dealy in my quasi-weekly annoyance.
I'm sure y'all want to know what's new with me I can't say that too much has been going on (moving, painting, bridal showering...). I did realize though that this is the first year of my life (that I can consciously remember) that I don't have a summer break. It's kinda stressin' me too so y'all can bet on me completely cracking sometime late August (take your bets now - will she break before or after recieving her MCAT scores????). Not to say that I don't have some vacation days with plans to take more than a couple three day weekends, (4th of July Michigan trip, Minnesota the week after, and Wisconsin in early August!) but I'm talking none of this month or more time off, summer job, free Cantera movies, chillaxin at the beach, cool summer stylin time. And you know what? It sucks!
No just kidding. Welcome to the real world (...she said to me ...condescendingly....). It's certainly tolerable. And it occurred to me the other day that what I need to most appreciate about my job (besides the paychecks which are now devoted mostly to living expenses) are the things that make it unique. Consider this a crash course in how not to hate one's job but basically it came down to asking myself, what is it about where I'm at and what I'm doing that I can't experience elsewhere? The list I came up with was 1) the people ; 2) the training ; 3) the impact I can have ; and 4) Chicago. Now for those of you looking over my list and singing the Sesame Street classic "One of these things is not like the others..." let me explain. Obvioulsy the people I work with, what I'm learning, and the progress of our research are all unique to Northwestern but as for number four I realized how cool it is to be in the most spiffy city of Chicago day after day. Especially in the spring. We started a lab techie tradition too of eating lunch outside on the really nice days. Sometimes we check out cool local restaurants (Italian, Japanese, Thai, and Cajun so far...) but sometimes we just eat our sack lunches quickly and then go wander around. There's something way cool about sitting on the lakefront, hiking around Navy Pier, or window shopping the Magnificent Mile that provides just enough of an hour long break from PCR, tissue culture, and measuring mouse tumors to convince me that it actually is summer.
And there's always Sno-cones too. Sno-Cones just scream summer. Which is why last summer I purchased a Sno-Cone maker (Target clearance sale - Yeah baby!). So now anyone who comes to visit Karrie and I (hint, hint, y'all wanna come see us!!!) can have a free Sno-Cone! And if Icy-Sugary delicacies are not your cup of tea you can have something warmer ...like a cup of tea ...heh heh ...just kidding. Actually you can have a capuccino cause my sister Anne bought me a Cappucino macine at a garage sale as a housewarming gift and I actually figured out how to work the thing! (Now I'm gonna open up my own Coffee and Sno-Cone shop... with the ultimate goal of world domination of course.)
Speaking of summer yummies too, we got free ice cream sundaes at work today. It's this whole Staff Appreciation thing where they give us free food now and then but there might be something to the theory of pumping us full of sugar to increase rates of productivity. And to wrap things up I guess "This is how you remind me" about being productive, cause I gotta get back to work! Hope all is going great with y'all!
Chad Krogerfully Yours,
lisa :)
p.s. Just in case any of y'all are clueless, Chad Kroger is the lead singer from the group Nickleback and "It's Been a While" and "This is How you Remind Me" were two of their hit songs.
p.p.s. There's also a brief John Mayer reference in this e-mail cause he rocks!
p.p.p.s. And a quick shoutout to Tony with Kudos for making the multiple "p" ps's cool again and cause he's the one who made fun of my usage of y'all which of course is the reason why I now use y'all every chance I get! ;p Y'all can blame him if y'all don't like all the y'alls I use in talkin to y'all!
MCAT - it might stand for My Cranium's About ToExplode but most people say it means Medical College Admissions Test aka a most evil exam that I'm taking tomorrow.
I was riding the train home with my brother on Wednesday and I had my MCAT review book out trying to be diligently studious. My brother always the joker turns to me and asks "Why is it an M-Cat? Are there A through L Cats too?" I rolled my eyes with my typical groan reserved for David's puns. And he comes back with another question "Does an MCAT have an mlife?" to which I had to respond "Actually I think an MCAT would have 9 m-lives."
It was pretty funny, but then again when you're trying to furiously cram into your brain in a month everything you've learned (and forgotten) from the past four years there's a lot that's pretty amusing.
Like Karrie's neice comparing her newly accquired Strawberry Shortcake Doll to me. That's funny stuff. Short bright red hair and freckles.... I guess there's a resemblence. ;) She got the doll for Easter and I had just met her the day before. We all went to the Shedd Aquarium which was cool. I had never been there and they have a cool new coral reef and shark exhibit. It was way cool. The only thing I didn't really like was that they have Beluga whales there and I kind of ethically object to keeping whales in captivity.
Before I get too serious though, Karrie has a brother-in-law named Norman. We were talking about how it's one of those less common names and Karrie asked how his mom came up with "Norman" and he said he was named for his Uncle Earl.
Enough said.
Anyhoo, the test is tomorrow so I'm trying not to stress out but something about it being a test - no matter how much I realize that it doesn't REALLY matter - makes me a little anxious. I'm sure you'll all wnat to respond with "You'll do great!" but you don't have to because in all honesty that's kind of a load of crap unless you're psychic and can magically read my future score but I do thank you for the prayers and well wishes anyways. I'll do my best - cause that's all I can ever do - and it'll all be over soon.
And then there's rollerskating.
MCAT-fully Yours,
lisa :)
p.s. I don't know if this e-mail makes any sense but it's been a super crazy week so you can expect next week's LoL to be back to traditional silly spiffy lisa rambling style and probably length too.
****************** (Private information removed)
First sigs first. Meaning let's put my "sig" file (aka the signature that's tagged to the end of all my e-mails) at the start of this message because *drum roll please* it contains my NEW address and home phone number!!!
And for anyone who's a little slow that means that I moved last weekend to the super spiffy ******* subdivision of The Ville!!! I've noticed too that there's an undocumented law about moving furniture that states that the weight of the furniture being moved is in direct proportion to the number of people that must comment on what the correct way to move the item is. (AKA: The heavier the object, the more people you get telling you how to move it.)
And now a shoutout now to the super awesome coordinator of U-Haul truck rental and my overall generally organized fellow "Summer"Girl housemate Karrie M. My second shoutout goes to the unrivaled coolness of Miss Lauren "I-make-awesome-mix-CD's-and-I'll-still-help-you-move-even-if-it's-at-8am-on-a-Saturday-and-why-in-the-world-did-I-tell-your-mom-I-prefer-sausage-to-bacon" J (and no that's not her real middle name). Third shoutout and the award for Most Likely To Never Call Me Again When He's In Town goes to Tony G who got "I'm Moving" and "Yes, PLEASE!!" as answers to the innocent phone call questions of "What's up?" and "Need a hand?". And since I'm on a role, a shoutout to The Quatratic Formula herself, Emily H with my extreme apologies for not emphasizing the*** Rd. part of the directions to the house!
And for a little more traditional flavor of shoutouts, Happy Birthdays to the Princesses of P-Ville Erika "Princess Wooka" A (last week) and Kristy "Batman" B (next week)! Karrie and I decided we have to cook you girls dinner some time this summer - Call us! And also a shoutout to U of I's Class of 2003! Congratulations to all! Let me know if y'all have new e-mail addresses or contact info or whatever!
(Oh and in case anyone's curious too this is LoL#33 but there was offially no LoL #32 because for some crack induced reason there were two #31's.)
Anyhoo, life's going pretty good these days. Work's been cool except that my boss is in Russia for three weeks so now all of the actual analytical THINKING parts of the experiments are solely up to me. It's a graduation of sorts in that I'm no longer a mindless lab monkey. :) Heh heh, just kidding I'm not a lab monkey it's just that normally I consult with the PhD types before embarking on my own design for a week long $1600 project. Yeah - now they tell me I'm "responsible". Scary word, ain't it? I still haven't heard back about the MCATs and probably won't for another month or so. Haven't thought any more about if med school is the right path for me either. I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. (Actually the phrase should be I'll CROSS that bridge, but burning bridges seems more appropriate for one as indecisive as I). Oddly enough too, I think this whole new house thing has given me a sense of stability that makes me realize "Hey, I may actually be HERE for a while" which is a pleasantly good thing (regardless of lack of parking at the train station; running toilets; the fact that every suburbanite guy I fall for takes up residence in some other part of the state/country/world; and the annoyance of devoting a massive portion of my monthly income to a little thing called rent).
On a totally unrelated note, combining the facts that the school year is technically over and we don't yet have internet hook up in the new place, there will most likely be a decrease in the frequency of the LoL's this summer. If anyone wants to be removed from the list or has an address change for the summer or for permanent, let me know.
Sig-fully Yours,
lisa :)
I found it. (Yeah cue the jokes about "I lost it" a long time ago....) The "it" in question though is actually The Quote List!!!!!
Now the problem here is that most of you are going to have zero clue about what's to come, but basically last year I started jotting down on a little notepad on my closet door random and somewhat amusing quotes from random and somewhat amusing people. I have to warn you all now that the majority of them were uttered in late night sleep deprived stupors or in overly caffinated sugary situations (i.e. Lunch Bunch, Late Nite Coffeehouse, Perkins trips, etc). They're all insane so to save time I'm not going to give any explanations - sorry if this is all majorly psycho and you just don't get it. It all started with three funny e-mails in one day hence the first page was titled "E-mail Quotes of the Week" and the subsequent pages gained fame for their bizarre titles as well as content. I think I got them out of order too but order doesn't really matter. And one more disclaimer too, pardon in advance any offensive language and I still stand as emphatically as ever to my original thought that the "poohead" really was being a poohead, and I was not drunk. ;)
Anyhoo, my shoutout of the week goes to all of you extremely quoteworthy people out there whose funny comments were made in the absence of pen and paper and thus did not get listed.
Quotefully Yours,
lisa :)
p.s. I give you.......The Quote List:
*E-Mail Quotes of the Week*
"Girls are like clowns, both wear makeup and scare me." ~Nick C
"Computer labs are bizzare places. A bald Christian listening to electronica by a group named after a designer drug should be evidence enough" ~James L
"...the doors open on the 11th floor and there is someone waiting to get on, looking at me making this snarl face." ~Dave B
*More Quotes of the Week*
"Got the 2:45 Coke and looked under the cap...please play 'game again'...I said to myself...Is it really a game? I mean taking the top off a pop...is that a game?" ~Dave B
"It was like some sort of crazy Gap commercial..." ~Rob S, about the new Housing web page
"I'm comfortable with my own spit. Really, I am." ~Nick C
"I learn to live and I live to learn." ~Cindy B
*More and More and More Quotes of the Week*
"...and then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you..." ~Random AIM away message
"I wouldn't even want to meet him in a LIGHTED alley." ~Sara M
"You can't DRINK coffee." ~Derek B
"It deserved to be burped at." ~James L, about my computer
"Country is more considerate than porn." ~Sara M
*Even More Quotes of the Week*
"So there we were, sitting on the Orchard Downs bus TRYING to get to Lincoln Square Mall...." ~Lauren & Lisa, initiating the "So there we were..." game
"Oh no...Sonicflood looks like a boy band." ~James L
"I want to pet a goat." ~Jason C
"I love to pee." ~Sara M
"...well at least he's not on drugs." ~Cindy B
"I guess the whole point of food is to be gross." ~Stacey L
*Still More Quotes of the Week*
"I'd rather not guide who I become. I don't trust myself to do so wisely." ~James L
"Good Luck Costello" ~Dave B, about my interview with Abbot Labs
"oh hammer, I do believe I'll be there!" ~Nathan T, accepting an invitation to Lunch Bunch
"I've been marinated." ~Jigga Jason
"I felt like I had a cat sitting on me...a very fluffy cat too..." ~James L
*Revenge of the Quote List*
"I don't necessarily LIKE Osama bin Laden." ~Nick C
"Not so much...." ~Phrase of the day by Derek, Sara, Lisa, James, Tony and multiple other people at the I-life SnowBall
"If I married Kurt Kittner my initials would spell MAK..." ~Maria J
"You can't force 'baby'. 'Baby' just has to happen." ~lisa
"Did you just say 'Wungamai'?"
"Yeah, it's Japanese for 'baby'!" ~Sara & Derek
*The Quote List Strikes Back*
"You're a poohead and I'm not drunk." ~lisa
"Everytime I see an underscore I'll think of you." ~lisa to Tony
"I'm really glad he looked high." ~Cindy, about her ex
"Wow, your room exploded....I mean...even MORE than normal..." ~Cindy, about the disorderly state of my dorm room
"I haven't seen so many white people pissed off since OJ got acquitted!" ~Tony Guerrero, about the Survivor: Africa Reunion Show
*Planet of the Quote List*
"I have three classes in Lincoln on Monday Wednesday Friday! I'm such a freshman!" ~Kendra B, senior year
"I just kind of stood there. I'd just gotten hit in the head with a putter." ~Matt L
"Quad bus in the night...doo bee doo bee doo..." ~Lauren
"What's 'sundry'?"
"The day before Mondry." ~Derek & lisa
"But where do they get them really big cheeses?" ~Matt L pondering the origins of Jumbo Cheese Ravioli
*Quote List: The Choice of a New Generation*
(note: these all took place at a late night Perkin's study session involving stealing paper from each other and some relaly random tired conversation, nothing malicious intended, it was all funny at the time)
"Tony's a paper writing slut." ~lisa
"The pimp's the one passing out the goods...he is the goods." ~Sara, about Tony
"I just fell asleep in my hands." ~Derek
"We've secretly replaced this cow's leg with an artificial limb. Let's see if it'll notice..." ~lisa
"Too Much Information!!! You get the TMI award!"
"Just call me....TIMMY!!!" ~lisa & Tony
*The Neverending Quote List*
"What's that movie where like the whole world is water...."
"Uhhhh....Waterworld?!?" ~Karrie & Tony
"Use Real Drugs. Use Real Drugs. Use Real Drugs. Use Real Drugs." ~Derek, spoofing the "Use Real Sugar" packets at Perkins
"This random thought was brought to you by Mountain Dew and the letters 3 and 5." ~Sara
"You just thwarted a monkey, that makes you a chimp." ~Derek to Tony
*I Can't Believe it's Not Quote List*
"You ate your dolphin's fruity dude adopted cousin!" ~Emily H
"Yes! No! Shut up!" ~Karrie M, to Jason M not letting him get in a comment about watching too much TV
"Next time I enter their house I'm gonna wipe the dust off my sandals and just keep walking...Please don't quote me on that." ~Tony
"Stepped in a puddle puddle puddle puddle puddle..." ~Lauren J, from the Sock Opera starring Sean Connery
"The monkey is DEAD!!! The monkey's brain is not dead but THE MONKEY IS DEAD!!!" ~Brad P, Philosophy 105 TA
*Quotes I Have Been*
"Oh look it's a beef and cheese salad." ~Sean S
"They don't worship a dead man at K-Mart!" ~Nathan T
"My family is what happens when porn stars get saved." ~Anonymous illinilife member
"They didn't have the vanilla flavored ones!"
"I've had those but I don't remember what they taste like."
"They're....vanilla..." ~lisa & Emily discussing Peeps Eggs
*Son of Quote LIst*
"We're self proclaimed fashion queens of the stylishly modest!!" ~Lisa & Karrie
"Reverse is like forward only you're going backwards." ~Tony
"Food is good food."
"Can I be a library friend?" ~James
"And again I saw something meaningless under the sun." ~Verse from Ecclisiastes chosen as the unofficial replacement for the overused "Not so much..."
*A Brief History of Quote List*
"I'm a clown snob." ~Emily H
"A latte a day keeps the sandman away." ~lisa the insomniac
"Eat, Drink, and Throw gum at Michigan State fans." ~Laura G
"You could have seven kids and name them after the fruits of the spirit...Hi, I'm Self-Control, my parents didn't have any..." ~Erika A
Technically that's the end and I can't think of a much better way to finish this, but for those of you that went to IGNITE...I give you....
*Quotes Afire* (The unofficial Quote List compiled entirely at IGNITE)
"Cheerio!" ~Jess D & Bobbi, greeting people coming to breakfast while eating cheerios
"Who doesn't have accents? Horses..." ~lisa
"Our culture is just like those poopy waters." ~John H
"This is Brant in monkey form."
"Did you just say someone called Brant a monkey fart???" ~Karrie & Lisa
"Oh my gosh, that's really girly." ~Matt M, about Mary Kay hand lotions
"He's a tea hugger." ~Kristy B
"Could I get one of these for my monkey?" ~Jigga Jason, about the ignite name tags
"Scary potty" ~John H
"I do eat. I just excrete all the fat out my scalp." ~"Soup" Campbell
"Look the balloons multiplied. Caleb! That was his name! Caleb!!!" ~Karrie
"How you been Ben?"
"Been jammin." ~Kristy & Ben
"Hiny Hiders" ~Name of the locks on the Convention Center restroom stall doors
"Yoda's Ark." ~Jigga Jess D
"Bio Rock - the Ultimate in Educational Rock Music about Biology!" ~lisa
"Bread Butts!" ~Kristy & Jess
"Have a ro-tic. You take the 'man' out of romantic!" ~Peggy D
"You can order spaghetti with browned butt..." ~Kristy
"I haven't been this young since I was sixteen." ~Igor K
"I never was a teenage girl." ~Ty G
"I hit my right hip and my left knee."
"We could get a magic bullet theory for that one." ~lisa & Igor
"The last one in the series is Sex on Tape - TAP! Sex on Tap...." ~Steve Bush, about his audio sermons
"It's Jeff Kern and his magical two hour moustache!!" ~lisa
:)
Cheesy Joke:
Q: "If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?"
A: "Pilgrims" (cause it's Mayflowers - like the ship - bringing Pilgrims....get it?)
Anyhoo, I told you it was a cheesy joke but it goes with that old rhyme April showers bring May flowers but I think whoever wrote that one wasn't talking about April snow showers like we're getting in the City this week. Seriously, people we're talking three inches of snow!
Three Inches!!! I'm not kidding. A week ago it was 70 degrees out there and now we got three inches of snow on the ground! Combine that with Monday in general and the insanity known as daylight savings time and let's just say I think everyone in my building was a little off their game yesterday. Just when you think spring has sprung we have to go and get hit with hibernation weather.
But I guess the tulips like it. :)
I dunno. I'll stop complaining about the weather now. It is pretty crazy though and the Caution: Falling Ice signs are back on the sidewalks but in the words of Richard Gere "That's Chicago!".
New subject: Birthday Shoutouts! Woohoo!!
First off I majorly screwed up in mistaking a birthday that I thought was May 6th for one that was actually March 6th. So the first super spiffy (overdue) b-day wishes go out to the super spiffy Maria J (aka Margarita Maria!) Sorry again about the mixup, but I hope things are going good for ya these days!!
Next up - and I'm only one day late on this one - April 7th was the super spiffy b-day of the super grrrrreat Ty Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrigg!!!!!
And last but certainly not least - and so that I don't miss it next week - an advance happy b-day on April 14th to the Champion of Cheeseheads and King of Kimwipes: Derek "3D/D-Bok/Happy-Yak-Dancer" B!
Anyhoo, to be breif: life's crazy these days. In fact, if I had to write a weather report of my life, unexpected snow flurries in the midst of a 70 degree April seems surprisingly appropriate. I don't mean to sound as if anything horrendous - or even minorly bad - is going on, it's just the usual (or rather UNusual) Lisa chaos. It's that whole idea of just when you've got a handle on the juggling act known as your life, someone goes and throws another ball into the frenzy. But that's what keeps us on our toes and makes life interesting.
On a somewhat related note, I've decided that I am basically 99.98% clueless about what I want in life. Now you all know first hand how indecisive and unpredictable I can be on a regular basis but I've recently been noticing a certain phenomenon that whenever I'll spend a considerable amount of time hoping and praying for something I'll just complain and whine about how stressful or annoying my life gets when I actually am presented with the opportunity to have it in my life. (i.e. the "it"s of late include: moving out of my parents house, taking the MCAT, serious responsibilities at church, and yadda yadda yadda...)
So I'm gonna stop. That is, I'm gonna stop whining and complaing, not hoping and praying. It's about time I start actually being a little bit grateful for random things that come my way because chances are, somewhere along the line, I either asked for it or can most definitely think of something that would have been much worse.
The record snowfall in April for Chicago was nine inches over two days back in 1985. It makes a slushy 3 inches seem pretty easy to handle. If worse comes to worse and we get the predicted 4 to 8 inches, I suppose I'll just be glad that it's not 48 inches.
Unexpected Snow Flurryfully Yours,
lisa :)
p.s. Something I don't normally do - I want to include some quick lyrics to a song we've been singing at my church. (It's a worship song so if anyone's rolling their eyes at me just know that my music tastes are ecclectic enough that next time it could just as easily be Pink Floyd.) I don't know if anyone's heard it but it's a way cool songand definitely fits with this e-mail:
Blessed be your name in the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow, blessed be your name.
Blessed be your name when I'm found in the desert plains
When I walk through the wilderness, blessed be your name.
Every blessing you pour out, I'll turn back to praise
And when the darkness closes in, Lord, still I will say:
Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be your glorious name.
Blessed be your name when the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be, blessed be your name.
Blessed be your name on the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering, blessed be your name.
Every blessing you pour out, I'll turn back to praise
And when the darkness closes in, Lord, still I will say:
Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be your glorious name.
You give and take away, you give and take away.
My heart will choose to say: Lord, blessed be your name.
:)
So that's actually "May day" as in the first LoL on a day that is in May. Sorry to disappoint any of you who were hoping for a story about a distress signal or my run in with super cool pop star John MAYer (...and then I woke up...)
But yeah it's May. For some of you that news brings about the ultimate moment of "OH! $*@#! It's time for finals!" For others it's a sigh of relief that spring MAY actually be here. For me it brings about the ultimate sentiment of "Hey, it's no longer April, I have to flip my calender".
(And let me just say I ended April on the coolest of cool notes with a concert at the Allstate arena last Wednesday. This guy you may have heard of by the name of Billy Joel put on a really great show and so did his Brittish friend he was touring with, Sir Elton John.... heh heh heh... IT ROCKED!)
But yeah April went bye-bye. As did the MCAT. (*insert sigh of relief*) I won't get my scores for two or three months but I'm super glad that it's done with. Now I just have to get through "Serve" - aka the massive service project that I'm organizing with church (May 10th) that at this point has become the type of hassle of a volunteering nightmare - and then I can actually relax and be all glad when it's over.
Oh and sometime in May I'm moving. Not to anywhere too excitingly far away but just around the corner to The Ville (note: Naperville is not "The Ville", Warrenville is "The Ville"; Naperville is "The Thrill"; Aurora of course is "A-Town"; Plainfield is "The Field"; etc etc etc)
But enough about May and it's craziness (except for cool movies like X-Men2 - which I saw Thursday at midnight - and Matrix 2...can we say SWEET?!?!) let's talk about vocabulary. Those of you that have seen the saga of crazy lisa e-mails through the lunch bunch days know that I like to rant about crazy words and phrases. This week's gems of the English language are "maters" "nooners" and "Fun times, noodle salad".
Allow me to explain.
"Maters", pronounced "may-ters", is an abbreviated form of tomato(e)s. There's a sort of logic that goes from how potato(e)s are also called "taters" then tomato(e)s should also be able to be called "maters" (just don't disgust yourself by pondering such things as "Mater Tots"). I don't know that there's an official origin to be cited here but I'm giving all credit to my sister Laura and her pet turtle Steve. In her own words, "Steve likes the maters."
And along the same line of new and interesting words for common fruits, bananas are now officially to be known as "nooners". This comes from the good old days of being roommates with Lauren J along with the old girl scout song "I like to eat...." The song lyrics are basically just "I like to eat apples and bananas" but each verse substitutes all the vowel sounds for a,e,i,o,and u so on the u verse it comes out as "OO luke tu ooot ooples und boonoonoos" and combining the funiness of the word "boonoonoos" with how some neighbors of ours always called bananas "Nanners", Lauren and I coined the phrase "Nooners" - which is way more fun than "Boonoonoos" and "Naners" combined.....well, actually it technically IS the combination of those two....
Anywho, the last phrase is from a friend of mine at work and noone has any clue as to how it came about or who originated it, but the phrase is just "Fun times, noodle salad." It works really well too with people who say "Fun times" or "Good times" a lot. Anytime anyone says either of those just respond with "noodle salad". Yes this is sure to bring about strange looks and the obvious question of "what did you just say??" To which you appropriately respond "Fun times, noodle salad". The funny part about this one is that if you start saying it often enough, it catches on and pretty soon everyone's saying it without really having any clue to the reasoning behind it other than that it's just a fun nonsensical phrase to insert into unexciting breaks in the conversation.
Yeah.
I know.
I'm looney tunes. I know too that I've been really bad about keeping in touch with people lately - super sorry but it's been a really crazy week/month/life. Hope all is going great for everyone though. Good luck with finals to those of you that have them!!
Good times, noodle saladfully Yours,
lisa :)
p.s. It was brought to my attention that there was a quote on the quote list that said "Food is good food." and through an accidental ommission by me typing it up Tony G's name was left off of it. So for anyone who cares, that astute observation was uniquely his.
I have a confession to make....
....there's a new boy in my life.
(Yeah, I figured that would get some of you reading this.) Here's the deal, I actually read an article about him in the local newspaper a couple weeks back and I was extremely intrigued. My first impression was something along the lines of way cool, fun, funky, stylish, innovative, but way out of my league. So you can imagine my surprise when I actually spotted him at the local Hollywood video! I couldn't help but think that this was somehow fated and absolutely perfect for me, but at the same time I have the MCAT coming up in three weeks and how much of a distraction this would be. I wrestled with my sensibilities for twenty minutes before giving in. I walked up to the clerk and said the words that I'll never forget or regret: "I'd like to purchase one of your Gameboy Advance SP's". (Oh...did you think I was talking about a boyfriend? Hee hee...alas, I remain perpetually - and happily - single and I'm currently working on the top ten list of why you don't need to bother with guys -hehheh- when you have a Gameboy!)
Which brings me to my second confession: I am a video game junkie. Now in my favor are the facts that I've never actually owned a gameboy before and the last time I had the newest gaming system on the market I was in the fifth or sixth grade which was when I got my Super Nintendo for Christmas. Against me is the simple fact that I love video games and my newest accquisition is in one word: SWEET! For anyone who hasn't seen the amazing marvel that is the GameBoy Advance SP it's palm size with a laptop-style flip out screen and a lighted display so you can even play it in the dark (the first time Nintendo's offerred this feature) and is compatible with any Gameboy, GameboyColor, or Gameboy Advance game ever made and it comes in silver to match my cell phone. *I can't believe I just said all that - I am SUCH A NERD!!* To quote Ferris Bueller though, "It is so choice! If you have the means I'd highly reccommend it!" (he says that about Cameron's dad's car for those that are behind on their 80's movies references) or to quote Random Drunk Guy at Union Station "Like, Wow!" (hee hee!) But yeah, that's what I did with a quarter of my federal tax return :) and I'm currently hooked on Sonic Spinball (I got the Sega Smashpack three-in-one cartridge to start me off).
Which leads to my third confession: I don't like studying for the MCAT. I have a whole system worked out for myself where I only let myself play games after I finish my work for the day on the train. And in the morning the "work" is the daily old testament readings (still working on the BIAY - Bible in a Year) and in the evenings it's one section from my MCAT review book. There's so much material though that I'm probably going to have to start reviewing on weekends too. Plus I've found that it's really tough to be reading about the digestive system or the urinary tract when you're on a train ride because it majorly makes you hungry or have to pee, respectively.
And there really is no nice transition out of a statement like that so I'll skip to my fourth confession which actually isn't a confession at all but it's a statement of fact that I'll just call a confession because that's sort of the theme of this e-mail: It's Karrie M's birthday tomorrow. I've prepared a little tribute to her but I don't want anyone to get offended that they didn't get their own tribute on their birthdays, it's just that of everyone on this list Karrie lives closest to me hence I see her more than any of you. And although I've been quoted as calling myself the Velma Kelly to her Roxie Hart, I think some of our more recent antics put us closer to a Lucy and Ethel combo. Either way, I give you:
The Best of Karrie M...
(...that due to the limitations of e-mail will not include elevator dancing, Chili's queso dip, or car-Karaoke reditions of the Jimmy Eat World song "Sweetness" and is actually technically only "the best of" what I can remember at this present time!)
*Scene: Monday Night, Steak & Shake discussing misconceptions about religion from our youth*
Karrie M on Religion:
Lisa: "I thought all Christian religions acknowledged the Pope"
Karrie: "Yeah, he's the Pope. Wears the big hat, lives in Rome...."
*Scene: Border's Books and Music*
Karrie M on Ambitions:
Lisa: (hands Karrie Guiness Book of World Records) "Find a record for us to break."
Karrie: (opening book) "Most Albino Siblings?"
*Scene: Louisville, Last day of Ignite conference, reflecting on what we'd learned - Note: I took a nasty tumble off a statue earlier in the evening*
Karrie M on Reflections:
Lisa: "Well, what really hit me the hardest was..."
Karrie: "The marble????"
*Scene: Neurobiology 303, study session*
Karrie M on Neuroscience definitions:
Lisa: "What's reafference?"
Karrie: "Affering again."
*Scene: Louisville, Hanging out in the hotel hallway*
Karrie M on......drugs?
Karrie: "Oh look the balloons multiplied!!! Caleb - That was his name! Caleb!!"
(The side note was that earlier she was trying to remember someone's name - Caleb - and somehow when staring at the balloons getting set up for New Year's she remembered but the randomness of the quote as it was spoken was quite hilarious!)
Funny funny stuff. And hopefully those aren't the you-had-to-be-there type of funny quotes because they really were all hilarious moments and they serve as yet further evidence that I am not alone in my insanity! Anyhoo, happy b-day Karrie and hope everyone's doing great getting ready for and/or recovering from spring break! Luckily the weather's finally warming up in Chi-town and there's something a little easier about getting up in the morning with the sun already up to greet me (...of course soon we have to go and do that darn daylight savings thing.) Oh well, 24 days til the MCAT and let me warn you it's only going to get crazier from here!!!
Confessionfully Yours,
lisa :)
p.s. Nothing left to say, I just wanted to be sure to have a "p.s."!!
Coming to you live from the mind of Lisa B it's the Not So Late Show with Lisa B! Our special guest today is Lisa B! Let's welcome our host Lisa Baker!!!
Thanks Mr. Imaginary Announcer Dude!! Thank you all for joining me tonight as well, I'm Lisa B and welcome to the Not So Late Show. I wanna bring out my first (and only) guest of the evening - a close personal friend of mind and, I don't think she'd mind me saying this, a total lunatic of a girl. Please welcome Lisa B!
Thanks Lisa, glad to be here!
And how are you doing tonight, Lisa?
Quite well, actually. Especially considering all the crazy stuff going on in the news right now.
Yeah, let's talk for a minute about that. It looks like we're officially in the midst of the second Gulf War. The bombing of Baghdad last night was an image I'm sure none of us will soon forget. Definitely scary stuff. Meanwhile Chicago tonight is teeming with anti-war protesters.
That's right Lisa. Lake Shore Drive was actually closed down this evening.
Now how is this affecting your work plans for tomorrow?
Well, luckily my bus doesn't take Lake Shore to get to the hospital, although most of my lab group does use that route. I heard that protesters were marching along Michigan Avenue and if activity keeps up tomorrow at the intersection of Michigan and Chicago I may have difficulty getting to work. My only hope at this point is that none of it turns violent.
I see. What are your thoughts on the anti-war movements as a whole?
Tough question. I understand their point of view, but I really feel that the time for "let's not go to war" sentiments is over. We've past that point, people, we are at war and disagreeing with it is fine but in all honesty, public opinion is not going to change what's going on. Any way we can get a lighter topic to discuss here??
Hmmm. Illini basketball's doing quite well.
Heh heh. Yeah. Not such a great transition there, but yeah, the boys are rockin it up. There's a March Madness pool at my work, which I didn't officially enter, but I've been very vocal about my hopes for Illini All The Way. I'll be catching a lot of flack if the boys lose.
On a totally different note, the LoL's have been severely lacking in shoutouts lately. Do you want to do anything to remedy that?
Yeah. Totally. I have major overdue birthday shoutouts going to the super spiffy Stacey "slovett" Lovett and the always awesome Jigga Jessica D. Sorry I'm a little late ladies but hope you both had great b-days!! :)
Anyone else you're forgetting?
Probably, but I'll just have to apologize later. My mind is on eighty different tracks these days.
Why's that?
Well, you know work's been pretty busy. And then last weekend was just way too much fun and I didn't sleep near enough...
Sounds like you were quite the partying gal?
Not really but I was down in Champaign and it was just an all out great time. Entertainment Night majorly rocked!
Entertainment Night?
Yeah it's illinilife's yearly variety show. As they like to say "Entertainment Night: There's a reason it's not called a talent show!"
So what were your favorite acts of the evening?
Igor's poetry reading and Kristy, Heather, Erika and Laura's "Friends" video!!!
Are you just saying that cause those were the acts by members of your i-team last year?
Yeah maybe, but they were really awesome! ;)
What else did you do in Champaign?
Mostly just hung out with super cool people that I don't see enough of these days. And I drank way too much.
I didn't think you were much of a drinker.
No I mean I drank too much caffeine! I think my grand total for the weekend came to 184 ounces of Mountain Dew alone. Plus some coffee, diet coke, vanilla coke, cherry coke....
Wow. That's uhh...dangerous yet impressive.
Thanks I think my hands are still shaking!
So you said you've got a lot on your plate these days, what else is new?
Well, I'm hard at work organizing the serve-a-thon we're doing at church. I've finally got a pretty good handle on that. And I did something really crazy today...
What's that?
I registered for the MCAT.
That's the Medical College Admissions Test, right?
Yeah. It's on April 26th which frighteningly enough is only a little more than a month away. I've been studying a little on the train, but I plan to kick it into high gear (as Emril would say: Take it up a notch - BAM!) over the next couple weeks. The registration alone almost sent me into panic attack mode, but for now it's all about baby steps. First step sign up to register, second step complete the registration. Check and check. Next step, super study, final step take the test!
Then apply to med schools.
Well yeah.
So now Lisa, I really have to ask, why in the world are you composing this e-mail as an imaginary interview with yourself?
Good question Lisa, I was actually just about to ask you the same thing.
Well, I suppose if you can write an entire e-mail from the perspective of your nose, there's nothing too loony about interviewing yourself.
True, except the whole thing is pretty loony. I think I've just been watching too many Late Night TV talk shows. I mean seriously, if Jimmy Kimmel can have a network Late Show than I can justify the fact that I deserve my own imaginary Not So Late Show.
There's only one problem.
What's that?
We've sort of passed the point of Not So Late. You've officially reached the Letterman/Leno hour.
Then I guess there's only one thing to do.
What's that?
Say goodnight, Lisa.
Goodnight, Lisa.
Imaginary Interviewfully Yours,
lisa :) [...& lisa :)]
p.s.
I can't say end this without a p.s. It just wouldn't seem right.
Whatever you say Lisa, but regardless of Chi-town protesters, you do have be at work bright and early tomorrow.
You sound like my mom! But don't you have one more funny story about work to share?
OH yeah!! See we use these pipet tips at work that are these little plastic tips for pipets.
Hence the reason you call them pipet tips?
Heh heh, yeah. Anyhoo, they come in little boxes of about 96 and we refill the boxes of them and autoclave them so theyre sterile. The problem is though that sometimes if the boxes get a little worn you have the problem where the tips stick to the dispenser rack but the dispenser doesn't stay in the box.
How's that a problem?
Well, you go to take out a pipet tip with your pipet and you end up taking the whole dispenser rack out of the box and they're no longer sterile.
That sounds annoying.
It is! And actually it happened to me the other day as I was talking to Alex and I held up my pipet with the rack of 96 tips stuck to it and proclaimed "This has got to be the most annoying thing in the world!" Except as I turned to throw them all away, the rack fell off the pipet onto the floor scattering all 96 plastic pipet tips all across the room. We both started laughing and all I could say was "I stand corrected!"
Wow Lisa, you're such a spazz!
Yeppers!! It was really funny though. Anyhoo, it's time for me to be in bed.
Goodnight all!
Goodnight!
:)
Some apologies:
My last e-mail was boring, sorry. I'm even sorrier for having spazzed on the send button and ended up sending it twice. I also didn't even get an LoL out last week. My abition for a weekly e-mail has become a bi-weekly thing (but I doubt that that fact bothers anyone and some of you are probably even glad for it). :p
But enough with the sorries. I should be Canadian because then I could sound much cooler by saying "soory" instead of "sorry" and if you don't know what I mean by that intonation of the Canadian accent just watch Jeopardy sometime cause Alex Trebek says it all the time. "Ooh, I'm soory, the answer we were looking for was What is Tashkann...." Or not. But alas, I'm back with another week (or every other week) of the insanity that is the so-called Life of Lisa. (applause, applause....yeah right!)
So I was walking into work the other day and there was a sign on the sidewalk kind of like a "Caution: Wet Floor!" but it said "Caution: Watch for Falling Ice!" (Some of you remember my descriptions of the extensive bridge like walkways that connect the multiple buildings of the hospital complex,) I guess with the weird freezing-thawing-freezing weather we've had there's been problems with massive icicles forming on the walkways over the streets and sidewalks and ensuing chaos caused when gravity works its wonders on said massive icicles. Needless to say my eyes were focused upwards as I walked into work with odd wonderings of having to use all my sick time to recover from the injuries sustained from being unsuspectingly impaled in the forehead by a falling icicle.
Yes, I'm strange like that sometimes. (Okay... LOTS of times....) Perhaps an even odder thought, though, is thinking about what happened to our escaped lab mouse. We were doing mice experiments last week and we had nine cages from the Vivarium brought into our lab because we were sacrificing the mice from three different experiments. (That's the scientific way of saying that we were killing and disecting 45 mice that had tumors or were controls for tumor experiments - it's all humanely done so don't go calling PETA on me). Anyway, we keep five mice in each cage but somehow in moving, shifting and rotating all the cages around trying to group all the mice by what experiment they went with, we think one got out. To quote Tina "There's only four in here.....uhhhh....close all the lab doors....." We never found the little guy either. I had a dream that night though that I got home from work, found him in my backpack, and decided to keep him as a pet. I even named him Placebo (which would be a really good name for an escaped lab mouse) but unfortunately I'm doubting that his real fate was anything near as pleasant as the one in my dream.
Speaking of weird dreams though, I have been having way too many lately. They're not your typical random dreams either. Like the missed the train and couldn't get to work dream. Or the panicked in the middle of the MCAT and couldn't even remember what eggs were dream. Or the hooked up with that guy from church dream. Or the back in college and living a normal life again dream. I'd take any of those. Instead I'm having freaky Paul Callan style dreams or all out absurd ones that usually wake me up in fits of laughter. And since I promised this to be a funny e-mail I have to tell y'all about the latter. Placebo the Lab Mouse was one in a long string of absurd dreams including one about Chicago - the movie, not the city - but the one I have to relate quickly is one about Blockbuster video.
*Cue Dream Sequence*
So me and two of my friends went out to Hollywood video and picked out a couple movies. I hand them to the clerk with my rental card and he says "Alright these're due back at noon" and I said "Noon? I thought I got them for five days??" And he said "No, that's Hollywood Video, this is Blockbuster." Which really confused my dream self because I walked into a Hollywood video. So I said "Oh I thought I was at Hollywood. So these are due back at noon tomorrow?" and he says "No, at noon today." And I say "But it's already 1pm!" And he says "Oh, then I guess they're overdue" and takes the movies away from me. That's when I woke myself up cause I was laughing out loud.
*End Dream Sequence*
The whole thing stemmed from being at Hollywood video the night I had the dream and having the clerk tell me that there was a late fee on the account. When I asked what movie he replied "Earth versus the Spider" (which was a B horror flick my dad rented) and I joked with the guy that of all the movies to be overdue it had to be one that was hideously embarrassing to admit to having been checked out on my account.
Now's the point of the e-mail where I revert to apologizing because this e-mail is way more psychotic and long than I originally intended but on the flip side I guess I owe you all a couple good laughs. I'm not quite sure too if it's going to be laughing with or at me, but most likely it's a bit of both.
PsychoDreamfully Yours,
lisa :)
p.s. Shoutouts to anyone who picked up on any of my bizzarre and obscure references in this e-mail. To explain a couple:
Since probably only two to four of you have any clue what the deal is with the Paul Callan reference, Paul Callan is this character (played by Skeet Ulrich) on the new Monday night ABC show Miracles. He's this X-Files type investigator of paranormal stuff (miraculous stuff instead of extra terrestrial) but he always has these freaky psycho dreams that usually in a twisted bizarre way relate to what's about to happen to him (which we -the audience- have decided 9 out of ten times is a near death experience). So yeah a lot of my dreams have been weird and eerie like that - minus the near death experience and X-Files'ish investigations. There's a little too much to explain there so I'll just say that yes, some new TV shows out there actually have these things called "writers" ;) and Miracles is a super cool show (Mondays @ 9Central on ABC). It has Angus McFayden in it too who was Sandra Bullock's boyfriend in Ya-Ya Sisterhood but is even more well known as Robert da Bruce from Braveheart - he's super cool. Oh and the other random reference was in the "Tashkant" mention and I probably spelled it wrong but it's from the Coca-Cola mini-film thing that used to be on all the AMC movies ("I'M A WINNER!!!!!!!") and there's only a few of you that will think that's funny and even fewer will find it funny that the bowl falls twice...hee hee. And there was also an obscure Summer School reference in forgetting what eggs are and the sentence after that is funny for another whole slew of reasons too. Some of you heard the details of my Chicago dream (those that haven't probably never will) but I'm going WAYYYYY too long on this ps! Love to all!!
:)
Okay so that's my own little pun implying that some of my more recent ramblings have strayed from my original intent of a positive and positively humorous random outlook on this thing called life.
So in case you all were terribly sad at not hearing from me last week, I got a little swamped with work and church stuff. Both of which are going quite well right now. Student Community (aka the student ministries at Community Christian Church) is getting ready for this thing called Project Serve - which is a massive day of service projects in May that's a fundraiser for the ministries - and it looks like this year is going to be about ten times larger than last (going from 15 volunteers to 150!)
The most surprising thing about it all, though, is that yours truly is somehow in charge of it. Well, technically, I'm second-in-command but I'm overseeing a large chunk of the administrative and communication aspects of it. As of now I pretty much have no clue what I'm doing (and I half wonder why I end up being trusted with leadership roles in the first place...heh heh...) but the people working with me are super encouraging and have worked on this project for the past 2 years. I'm excited. I think it will be cool.
I have to pause for a second here to give an apology/shoutout to Heidi E (aka Hiiii-deeeeeeee....j/k!) because in my ranting about V-Day I forgot to mention that Feb 14 is her birthday!!! Happy B-Day on V-Day!!!!!!!!!!!!! And while I'm on the subject of birthdays, happy birthday this Thusday to the super spiffy Tony "Ant-nee" G (who reminded us on Friday why we originally coined the phrase "Tony Time" ...hee hee j/k)
So yeah, I was watching part of the Grammy Awards last night. It looked like Norah Jones was walking away with quite a slew of little gold phonographs and all I can say is "I Don't Know Why" everyone likes that song! Personally I find her annoying to the same degree as Michael Bolton and Kenny G. but they probably won lots of Grammys too. The three of them should collaborate on an album that would instantly go to the top of the best selling charts of "Music To Be Played In Dentist Offices and Elevators". Oh well. Anyone who wants to can join my "Avril Lavigne is Much Cooler" anti-Norah club. Or you can write me a three page dissertation style reply to this about why you love Norah and think she deserved every award she got. In that case I'll just laugh at you.
Just Kidding. I guess that lst paragraph kind of destroys my "can't believe it's not bitter" subject. I really don't have an Anti-Norah club. I do have a COPPs club though (and a shoutout to "Roxie" who knows what it stands for cause she's a COPP too).
Okay this e-mail is really boring. The only funny work story I have to tell involves an Australian Bill Gates. It's not that hilarious but for lack of anything funnier right now, here goes. The main computer in our lab is always having problems with Microsoft Office programs (yes, "Auto Format" is the single most helpful and annoying feature ever invented) so Helen, our lab manager, is always complaining about "Bill Gates Problems" (linking Access and Excel files was exceptionally problematic). Anyhoo, later on we got a document sent to us for editing and collabarating on and it was from Australia. It must have had some sort of virus or weird format protection on it because every time changes were made the whole computer froze up or crashed. needless to say, every computer problem in our lab was explained with "Blame Bill Gates" or "Blame Australia" [no offense, Beth ;) ] It was then that we developed the conspiracy theory that Bill Gates might really be Australian and can be blamed for every technology issue we have from now on.
Wow. That's pretty bitter as well. For the sake of ending on a non-bitter note - I'll be in Champaign-Urbana (aka Shampoo-Banana) for a little while this weekend! Yay! Woohoo for visiting Chambana! Cool beans if anyone wants to hangout call my cell (the number's in my sig file below!)
Not Bitterfully Yours,
lisa :)
p.s. I promise that my next LoL will be much more worth the read and much less a total waste of your time and inbox space!!
Okay so I'm not technically a cynic in the sense that the true pessimists out there would lynch me before counting me as one of them but alas, I do have my cynical ranting moments (flashback to "CamPAIN Season") and this is going to be one of them. Why? you ask...
Because it's Valentine's Day. yay. hooray. (Tosses confetti in a most unexcited manner with a monotone-Ben-Stein-style shout of "woo hoo".) Call it V-Day, Happy Hearts Day, the Feast of Saint Valentine, or Single's Awareness Day but whatever spin you put on it it's inescapably cheesy and annoying to the max with it's froo froo Hallmark-iday sap. (Spoken like a true single, eh?) I was tempted to fill this message with all of my spewage about the day (Never trust a holiday that relies on pink as it's main marketing color...) but I've found that there are many more intelligent and amusing comments to be made and so I turn the floor over to various other authors. Plus, to the best of my knowledge only 38% of this list is currently single like me so I'm guessing the majority of you will be spending tomorrow with your sweeties and wouldn't fully appreciate all that I could share. All the quotes are somehow realted to love, Valentine's Day, relationships or something related to all that. (All the authors will reamin anonymous too so some of you are quoted here along with poets, lyricists, random people from work, and even yours truly.) Enjoy.
Quotefully Yours,
lisa :)
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"Courtship, like PCP, brings out the hidden reserves of strength and bravery that you didn't know you had. It also makes you do dumb things that end you up in the hospital or jail."
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"...there will be more [guys in your life]." "What if there aren't more?" "Then you'll get some cats."
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"Actually there are a lot of women out there who hate themselves and are
plagued by eating disorders and self-mutilating tendencies and they live
with a lot of shame. They feel like they are complete failures and messes and their parents, teachers and pastors disapprove of them. They begin to find their identity in the things that they do to punish themselves....I'm just really mad that our culture makes little girls hate themselves."
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"Love takes off the masks we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."
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"I'm so sick of these reality dating shows. Like what's the deal with Joe Millionare? I mean I could see the appeal of the show if the guy maybe had more than three active brain cells! Joe Caveman is a little more like it!"
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"Live right now and just be yourself. It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else."
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"Actually over time I've ceased to see beauty in runway models or any
models for that matter. They all look sad and they are just a sack of
bones and they have to maintain this falseness in order to keep their
jobs. They have to defy nature and be something totally "other" then what was intended for women to be. It's to a point where they have become the standard for beauty even though they are just a bunch of freaks of nature. And they even have to go under the knife to maintain the freakdom. Of course that's all we have to compare ourselves to so we think we're the freaks."
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"How can the world want me to change? They're the ones that stay the same."
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"Do you think pre-meds ever send anatomically appropriate Valentines? Like 'I love you from the bottom of my left ventricle'? Or maybe 'I love you with all of my heart and my aortic arch and my superior vena cava and my pulmonary arteries.....'?"
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"I have a theory. It goes something like this. In America at least, the single greatest deterrent to the advancement of the kingdom of God is...breakups. Is...unreconciled relationships. In our culture. In our generation. Unforgiveness is our death amd our destruction."
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"I don't buy into all this nonsense about scaring a guy off by calling him. We're talking about the gender that stormed the beaches at Normandy, and yet suddenly they're standing on a chair screaming 'EEK!' because the phone rang and it's a female on the line."
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"He's the one who will be missing you, you'll only miss the man you wanted him to be."
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"So basically you see realtionships as a means to an end where that end is your own happiness?" "Uh...yeah" "And how is that not the definition of selfish?"
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"In literature as in love we are often astonished at what is chosen by others."
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"Girls are like clowns, both wear makeup and scare me."
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"Just remember two things: number one - he's a boy ; number two - boys are s-t-o-o-p-i-d!"
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"Everyone quotes Romeo and Juliet as this great story of love, but, hello! they both die at the end of the play! Where's the love in that?!?? In fact the only one with any chance of a happy normal life is the narrator! Heck with love, I just want to narrate!"
*
"There's a reason Shakespeare said 'Never was there a tale of more woe'." "Well, yeah cause if he said 'Never was there a tale of more love' it would have to be Juliet and Romeov and that just sounds stupid!"
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"Be happy. But don't be happy like a honeymoon, be happy like a health club. Work hard. Mature. Challenge and be challenged. Grow stronger. Be happy."
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"Every guy is at least 10% jerk, it's just that some actually reveal it right away."
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"Valentine schmalentine!" "Did you just say....schmalentine??"
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"I don't wanna lose you, I don't wanna use you just to have somebody by my side and I don't wanna hate you. I don't wanna take you, but I don't wanna be the one to cry. There's a danger in loving somebody too much
and its sad when you know its your heart you can't trust. There's a reason why people don't stay where they are cause sometimes love just ain't enough"
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"Being single is like being Spiderman: it is my gift, it is also my curse."
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"Immature love is to love someone because you need them. Mature love is to need someone because you love them."
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"It's one thing to know one's heart. It is another thing to admit it.
It is something altogether different to follow it."
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p.s. I have 6 or 8 more really awesome quotes - some from the world's coolest authors! - but they're faithfully recorded in my Quotebook Notebook which is the only one of 80 some notebooks in my bedroom that I can't find at present! But I guess I've said enough. Shoutouts of the week go to those of you who will recognize your own quips from this list. ...even bigger shoutouts to those of you who are brilliant enough to recognize mine ;)
p.p.s. Happy Valentine's Day.
Welcome (back) to my crazy weekly e-mail ramblings! (LoL = lisa on life = life of lisa = crazy semi-coherent caffinated thoughts!)
Before I go too far on the tangent du jour I want to give some birthday shoutouts to three super spiffy people who just recently or will very soon celebrate being 22: Igor (sometime end of January?), Nick (February 2nd, 3rd, 4th, or 5th?) and Cindy (February 8th)! (and pardon my lack of specific days) Happy Birthdays!!!
And also I just have to say how cool it is that it's now FebRRUUUUary! Back in sixth grade "February" was one of our spelling words (remember the good old days of spelling tests??) and my super cool English teacher Mrs. Brons told us all to pronounce it FebRRRUUUUUUUUary (with a super long "rooooooo" in there) because everyone always spelled it Febueary or Febuary or Feburary or some other wrong spelling. And a week of shouting "FebRRRUUUUary" along with my entire class must have worked because now I can spell it right! :)
So anyhoo, I think therefore I'm not TOO bored. This is my own unique ripoff of "I think therefore I am" or if you prefer the more sophisticated Latin "cogito ergo sum" (doesn't it just sound cooler in Latin???). But basically this cheesy little phrase is the foundation of Cartesian philosophy (aka the philosophy of Renee DesCartes) that proves without a doubt that I actually did learn something from Philosophy 101! (In truth the only reason I remember this is because I had a TA who was way too fond of the phrase "Cartesian philosophy" and our class syllabus was cluttered with countless weeks of "cogito argument" assignments as well as a movie night of The Matrix relative to DeCartes...fun stuff!)
Now before I go too far overboard with Latin phrases and sophmore year memories, I have been keeping myself unbored with some cool philisophi- theolgic- psychomental thoughts that I've for some strange reason decided to share. Forgive the bizzarre and slightly offbeat nature of what will most likely seem out of character for the typical LoL, but I have a little story that I've been pondering about franchises. Now's where you're probably thinking to yourself, Self, what is this nonsense about franchises and how in the world is this going to spawn a philisophical and theological point?? Stay with me.
Think for a minute about franchises.... I was gonna use a McDonald's analogy but that's a little too big so think instead about a local bank. There's a bank manager who has a specific plan for his bank and how he wants things run (customer service, account policies, days off etc.) So he sets up his plan in a certain community and hires a couple good people to run The Bank. Years go by and The Bank does well. The bank manager reaches the community and provides them with good interest rates, good service and free checking and in return the community invests their money, avoids bouncing checks and is generally happy. But then as even more years go by the bank manager decides that he can try something new and expand things. See if he had multiple Banks all over he could reach even more people with his awesome services and banking innovations. So he decides to go for the franchise route. This way there can be a Bank in any and every community but throughout all this expanding he stays firm to his original design of what he wants his Banks to look like and how they are run. The manager can then go on cross country tours and know that each one of his banks - regardless of what the building or neighborhood is like - is designed by his specifications and he can walk into any one, anywhere and feel right at home.
I thought up this analogy on the train the other day. I'm not going to go too deep with explaining the comparison but I was reading a really boring part of Exodus (this goes with one of my 2003 resolutions, and after all the Bible is a bestseller) where God's talking to Moses about building the Arc of the covenant (think Indiana Jones & the Raiders of the Lost Arc...). Anyhoo, God's got all these extensive specifications about what he wants done (sizes, materials, layouts,etc) and the whole point is that God's presence is going to come dwell in this Arc (basically a fancy way to say God wants them to build a super spiffy box for him to live in). It occurred to me though that just as God was specific in the Old Testament about having a place to occupy among His people, in the New Testament it translates to specifcations about how Christians should model their lives (i.e. God chooses to live within people and wants their lives to reflect his designs). So essentially modern day Christ followers are kind of like franchise versions of the Arc of the Covenant.
Like I said it's philisophical, theological and psychomental...kind of like me!! ;) And if that was a little too crazy and Bible-y for you just smile and nod and know that when it comes to me and my random thoughts they're as random as they are mine.
philisophi-theologic-psychoment-ally yours,
lisa :)
p.s. In the spirit of sharing really random radio commercials there was an ad for Eric & Kathy's morning show on Mix 101.9 and they were interviewing John Mayer and he was joking around with his own spoof of his song "Your Body is a Wonderland" and the part that I'm still laughing about is him singing "Your body is a taco stand..."
