Tuesday, July 27, 2004

LoL#48: Reflections on a Turkey Sandwich

****Disclaimer: The following "lessons" all arose from a lunch table conversation yesterday. It was kind of one of those situations where I was sort of trying to be funny but was told that I was making some really good points. I figured I'd recapture some of my thoughts here and share them with you guys. This isn't a manual on how to live life or anything so do me a favor and don't take me too seriously. Enjoy!****

I've learned that trying to be cool is a pointless endeavor. Here's the deal, if you try to be cool and succeed, it comes across as arrogance. If you try to be cool and fail, it makes you seem a loser to an even larger degree because you were, after all, trying to be cool. However, if you don't try to be cool and you're not cool, it's okay because hey, you weren't aiming for coolness. Also, if you don't try to be cool and by some stroke of luck you acheive coolness, then it's magnified to some exponential factor because you're in the sort of auto-cool zone of being effortlessly cool.

I've also learned not to try too hard to be attractive. Mostly because people that put too much stock into their own appearance have a hard time not coming across as really self-absorbed. Since too, most people are naturally self-absorbed, I figure being self absorbed can't really be appealing to those that are self-absorbed. This kinda ties into the coolness theory too because people that are attractive without really trying are generally a lot more attractivce than the ones that try too hard.

Another good lesson is not to be attracted by attraction. (This is the whole I like a person because they like me syndrome.) Granted this is the basic principle behind the sophisticated art of flirtaion, but taking that into consideration, how many solid relationships have ever been built upon flirtation? There's a gaelic proverb that says that the best mirror is a friend's eye and I think when you consider whether you really like a person you should think about who you are when you're with them and whether you like the person they make you want to become.

The sooner you realize that relationship and responsibility go hand in hand the better off you'll be in life. Yeah, it applies to the whole guy/girl thing, but even more so it applies to every relationship in life - think offices and families as well as just friendships. To be in a relationship is to enter into some intangible mental, emotional, possibly physical, maybe even spiritual contract. And what people don't seem to always grasp is that when you do that, you have to bring something to the table. It's about unselfish living. It's like when kids grow up and want nothing else to do with their parents or siblings. They've taken all they needed and see no reason to give anything back. Then you look at kids that grow up and make friends with their parents and you see that they're giving back - giving time, conversation, and love - and by putting something new into a preformed boundary of a relationship there's suddenly an opportunity for new growth.

I'm not sure if variety really is the spice of life. I think variety in your own perspective can do more to spice things up than any actual changes in atmosphere or situation. Or maybe I'm just too afraid to admit that I don't particularly like change. And yes, I realize that that's a rather odd statement for one with an attention span as short as mine.

Listen to me going on about all this, maybe I should write a book. ;) Truth is, I don't have it all figured out. I can talk a big game, but I'll be the first to admit that there's a lot - no, a ton.... (what's bigger than a ton?) ...I'll be the first to admit that there's a gigaton that I have yet to learn but I will say I'm very eager and anxious to get started learning as much as I can with the time that I have.

Turkey-Sandwich-Thoughtsfully Yours,

lisa :)

p.s. So yeah, as for what's up with me, I moved back in with my parents last month. There's a whole saving money for the wedding aspect to it plus I just have to achieve extreme nerdiness in admitting that *shocking as it is* I actually like my parents! It was a sad day to say farewell to The Holodeck but the future is looking exceptionally thrilling and Tony and I actually bought a condo in The Ville (Bag End - I'll explain later) so it's gonna be a great place to move into after the wedding - 162 days to go. And speaking of wedding news too, I'm not the only Baker girl to be planning a wedding these days! My sister Laura just got engaged to her boyfriend Dan! Cool beans, ain't it??? Anyhoo, I hope you all enjoy what's left of summer!!!