Can't they just call it fancy-single-cup-of-coffe-thing-a-ma-jig?

This week at the train station they've been giving out free coffee as a promotion for Keurig coffee brewers. Well, actually they're not giving out the cups of coffee themselves, but rather they have been passing out a cup with an insert containing the thing that you put in the machine to brew the coffee and then sending commuters to the Great Hall area of Union Station where all of the fancy brew machines are set up.

It's actually something of a brilliant invention. Basically you place the coffee or tea insert (what looks like an over-sized single serve half and half container) into the machine, put your cup under the spout, press a button, and in less than a minute you have fresh brewed coffee or tea. I can see the draw of them for corporations - Tony said they had one at his previous job - but I'm not rushing out to get one in my own home any time soon. In part, because I have no clue how to pronounce the things. Even the volunteers passing out the samples varied from "Free coffee from cure-ig" to "Coffee compliments of coo-rig today" and "Brew your own cor-ig coffee". If it were me I would call it the Coffee-in-a-Minute Machine or something else equally less cool and European but simple to say.

I did like the coffee though. I tried the Caribou rainforest blend and it was really good. The strangest thing was that as I was adding cream and sugar to it there was a man next to me that put five creamers and eight packets of sugar in his drink. The cups were comparable to a small from most coffee shops and my jaw must have hit the floor when I saw him empty creamers two at a time twice into his cup; reach for the sugar, count out four packets, tear them open, dump them into his cup, and repeat; followed by a quick stir and then one more Coffeemate creamer! He didn't even taste it before adding everything! I'm all for sweet beverages (one cream, one sugar for me) but I had to wonder if his drink even resembled coffee when he was done with it.

Birthday Cake

Here's some pictures of the cake I made for Tony's birthday. I don't want to brag.... oh, wait, yes I do! I'm pretty proud of how it turned out!!

(top view)

(front view)

(back view)

Drink to your health - Literally!

The next time glasses are raised with a clink and a cry of "Salud"* we can all take the cheer much more literally. Turns out certain cocktails are not as much a vice as they were once thought to be. In fact, scientists have now shown that fruity drinks contain multiple health benefits (one more reason why I looove science). According to the study, "ethanol - the type of alcohol found in rum, vodka, tequila and other spirits -- boosted the antioxidant nutrients in strawberries and blackberries." And since we all want as much benefit from our antioxidant friends, skip the smoothies and go straight for the margaritas and the daquiris. Now that's my kind of health food!

*"Salud" is Spanish for "health"

Analogy Time...

It's time to play the analogy game! For those that need a refresher course,

dog : bark :: cat : meow

Dog is to Bark as Cat is to Meow, because Bark is the sound that Dogs make and Meow is the sound that Cats make get it? Okay here's the real test, see the comment section for the answer.

Mexican : Taco Bell :: Irish : ___________

(*And yes this analogy did arrive because it's almost St. Patrick's Day and this red-haired green-eyed freckle-faced Irish girl got hitched to a spicy fiesta-minded south-of-the-border man.)

Chocolate Covered...Finger?

"I suppose it went unnoticed because there were nuts in the chocolate and it was hard to tell the difference,"

- Police spokesman from Mainz, Germany
on the finding of a fingertip in a chocolate treat

Maybe it's so gross it's funny or maybe it's just too gross to be funny but the forensic fan in me couldn't resist sharing this article from Reuters online this morning. Consider it something to think about next week as friends and loved ones are passing around the Valentine's Day assortments.

Yeah, it's like that.

I waited twenty minutes in a mob at Starbucks this morning for a Grande Nonfat Chai Tea Latte. Crazy? Yes. But I didn't know it would be twenty minutes, it's Starbucks, you learn to expect it to be crowded. And besides, it made for some great people watching time. Like the girl who ordered two Venti Skim Upside Down Carmel Macchiatos. I don't know what the heck an Upside-Down Caramel Macchiato is but I may order one next time just for the fun of saying it. Two half-caff coffees, three hot chocolates, a peppermint mocha and an eggnog latte later they called my name. When I realized that I had to nudge my way through throngs of people to claim my cup of warm liquidy goodness (*ahhh!*) I had a quick vision of the barista calling out names and following them with "Come on Down! You're the next contestant on The Price Is Right!" I thought about suggesting he add the phrase to his rapport of coffee call outs but decided instead on a smile and "Happy Holidays!" Yeah, it's like that.

Puts the "Good" in "Good Morning":

"Hello?"
"I'm weak!!
"What?"
"Grande. Nonfat. Pumpkin. Spice. Latte!"
"Already?"
"Yes. It's officially fall, I couldn't resist!"
"You are weak."
"I missed my bus, it's cold outside. It just... called to me!"
"Learn to resist..."
"The self-control was in the grande... I was this close to going Venti."
"Riiiight."
"It's soooooo goooood!"
"Now you're making me want one."
"And nonfat - that practically makes it a healthfood!"
(Laughs)
"Pumpkin spiiiiiiiice....."
"I gotta go, I have an 8:30 meeting - thanks for calling, though."
"Have a great day, hope things aren't too crazy for you."
"You too. I love you."
"I love you too. I love you even more than my Pumpkin Spice Latte!! And that says a lot!"
(Laughs) "Okay, talk to you later."
"Bye."

Turkey Stew

So the stew was actually pretty yummy. It's a recipe I modified from a Braised Beef Stew recipe that I found off the internet a while ago. I've made the beef version and liked it a lot but here's what I did for the turkey variety:

Lisa's Turkey Stew

• Six to ten small red potatoes cut into eighths (halved then quartered)
• Half pound of baby carrots cut in half
• One green pepper cut into bite size pieces
• Turkey (however much you want) cut into bite size pieces
• Small can of whole kernel corn
• One large can of crushed tomatoes
• Dried crushed Basil (1 tsp or so)
• Dried crushed Oregano (1 tsp or so)
• 1 Bay Leaf
• Salt & Pepper (to taste)
  

Add ingredients in the above order to a crockpot. Heat on high for 5-6 hours or low for 8-10 hours. Stir and Enjoy.

I have a really huge crockpot so this made enough for four-six people (or three people with leftovers) so it could be scaled down too. Let me know if anyone else tries and enjoys it!

Dewfeine

I've invented a new word. Dewfeine. It's like caffeine, but better. I figure since caffeine comes from coffee (en francais: cafe), Dewfeine comes from Dew. And that's Dew with a capital D - short for Mountain Dew. Get it? Okay. Say it with me now "Dewfeine. D-E-W-F-E-I-N-E. Dewfeine". Here's what Webster's may someday print:

Dewfeine: noun. (doo-FEEN) The caffeine contained in Mountain Dew, a citrus flavored carbonated soft drink beverage known to cause the jitters, short attention spans, hyperness, and hilarious blogs. (i.e. I'm full of Dewfeine!)

Dewfeinate: verb. (DOO-fin-ate) To consume or to have consumed caffeine from Mountain Dew, approximately 98.6 micrograms per milliliter. See also Dewfeine. (i.e. I am Dewfeinated, You're going to be Dewfeinated, That 32 ouncer from Taco Bell will really Dewfeinate us.)

Except Webster's will print them in alphabetical order. Spread the use of Dewfeine by using this word whenever you consume the Midwest's #1 beverage. (At least that's what this site claims. They also list an official Mountain Dew Addicts Pledge. I should probably learn that one.) And yes I actually calculated the ug/mL of caffeine in Dew. 35 mg of caffeine per 12 ounces, baby!

This page is not sponsored, endorsed or in any way affiliated with Mountain Dew or Pepsi (or Taco Bell for that matter) and I think the names themselves are property of Pepsi (except for Taco Bell which is property of Taco Bell) but hopefully it's cool for me to use them as free advertising of how wonderful their beverage is. Dewfeine, Dewfeinate, and all subsequent dewfeinous conjugations are solely mine (as far as I know) seeing as how they emerged from a very sleep deprived but Dewfeinated mind. Happy Friday and if you can read this you have very good vision or just a really big computer screen.

LoL#53: Attack of the Killer Uh... Mangos

*******
Disclaimer: I wrote this LoL last month and wasn't going to send it on the sheer fact that I think it's really pointless and stupid, but in cleaning out my e-mail, I found it in my drafts folder and decided that all my LoL's are kinda pointless and stupid and if nothing else some of you might find this one mildly entertaining. If you're bored, that is. Really, really bored.... ;)
*******

I bought an air freshener the other day. A seemingly everyday occurrence, yes? No. Well, at least not for me. That is, it should have been a mundane everyday occurrence, but keep in mind, this is The LoL. Here's the Story:

Now that it's summer Tony and I have been doing the whole patio grilling thing for dinner. I'm as much a fan as anyone of summertime burgers, dogs, and brats (said with a Chicago accent to rhyme with "cats") but there's the slight issue that cooking with charcoal leaves our condo with a resultant Mesquite fragrance known to last longer than the time it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop. This in itself would not be too extreme a problem except that I've also discovered the joys of Italian cooking. Since I never grew up eating much garlic (my mom's allergic) I've only recently learned how delicious it is to cook with and also how the scent of it could rival post-atomic-war-cockroaches in a longevity contest! Long story short, the problem was that our condo was starting to gain the constant scent of the remnants of a char grilled Italian restaurant. The solution seemed easy enough - buy an air freshener. But that's when the real attack began.

It started at Bath & Body Works. If by some freak accident of modern consumerism none of you have ever been in a B&BW store, chances are you still have your sense of smell. (Men are excluded from the "freak accident of modern consumerism" theory, it's a girly store - although I'm guessing plenty of you Xy-ers have shopped there too...) I was in their store last week and counted at least a dozen different fragrances which means that by today they probably have eighteen or twenty. How can one individual be expected to process that much olfactory information at one time??? I'm serious, they are incessant about coming up with more scents. They're probably the only business that's more psychotic about new product invention than the soft drink industry (Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper - does one drink really need five words in it's name?!??!). But regardless, my condo was suffering in it's aromas of burned vesuvio and somehow I thought that Bath & Body Works might solve the problem. It's there that I had my first encounter with the "RealEssence Mango Mandarin Wallflowers Continuous Home Fragrance Starter Kit" (No joke, that's what it's called!)

I plugged it in as soon as I got home.

At first things were nice. Small wafts of fruity scented air caressed my nose when I woke up in the morning... Images of mangoes on a tropical island paradise gently greeted me after work... But then... it got stronger. And Stronger. And Stronger! After a week it had a mind of it's own - I'd open the door to a full on fruity assault! It was out of control! Then I realized how sneaky the packaging had been by sandwiching "Continuous" into a string of cutesy advertising words to fool the unsuspecting buyer into overlooking the fact that once you bring this Gremlin of an air freshener into your house it's going to take over everything! So I did what any sensible person would do - I fought back! (Okay maybe the sensible people would just unplug it but I might not quite fit into the sensible category and besides, what actually happened makes for a better story.)

I cooked! And not just any normal cooking. I cooked Italian. With garlic. Fresh Garlic - minced AND sautéed. (Okay in all fairness, I wasn't actually crazy enough to cook for the sole purpose of trying to wage war against an air freshener, but I had a really good recipe for pasta with clams in a white wine sauce and it specifically called for fresh garlic minced and sautéed.) By the end of the night VICTORY WAS MINE!! Our condo was once again smelling like Italia! Garlic, oregano, olive oil, white wine - THE WORKS!

Little did I suspect Mango Mandarin was not going down without a fight. I don't remember which scent prevailed the following morning, but after work the next day I came home to the worst scent ever! A truce was reached that neither could be stronger so our entire condo smelled very much like... both. Try if you can to imagine Garlic Mango Italian Oranges. I don't know why people even try to describe scents because if I tried to tell you what Garlic Mango Italian Oranges smell like all I can say is, smelled like Garlic Mango Italian Oranges! In a word, it was BAD.

Open windows and the passage of time were all that cleared the warring aromas from their battlefield. Yet I wonder if that epic clash will ever truly be gone from my mind (supposedly sense of smell is most closely associated with memory and I don't see myslef forgetting the atrocity of that olfactory assault anytime soon). You'll all be relieved to know too that now that it's half empty, the RealEssence Mango Mandarin Wallflowers Continuous Home Fragrance Starter Kit is back to it's original light and non-overpowering fresh scent. And I still shop at Bath & Body. I really don't hate them or their products I just needed a randsane inspiration for my dramatic ravings and my explorations into the world of Sunless Tanning are a little too currently emabarassing to rant about just yet. 99% of this is just satiracal farce. So basically that's my disclaimer saying don't take me too seriously.


"RealEssence Mango Mandarin Wallflowers Continuous Home Fragrance Starter Kit"-fully Yours,

lisa :)


p.s. And the 1% that I actually meant to be serious involves my mom's garlic allergy, soft drink companies being obsessed with new products and the desire to always say "brats" like a true Dit-ka and Bears lovin' Chicagoan, (my friend).

LoL #50: It's Gold!

Why do they call it Ovaltine? The jar is round, the mug is round, they should call it ROUND-tine!
Or not.

Sorry. That's my random Seinfeld reference for those of you out there that understand why soup is not a meal and what that first line has to do with the subject of this LoL. And for those that are reading this and just going, "Huh???" all I have to say is "No soup for you!". Anyhoo, I made it to LoL#50!! So welcome I guess to the Golden LoL!!! (Actually this is pretty pathetic because had I stayed with this actually being a weekly thing I would be on #104 or something but that's kind of a scary thought so we'll just celebrate the first fifty and take it one rant at a time from here.)

It's Tuesday today and let me just state for the record that Monday gets a pretty bad rap because I highly aver that Tuesday mornings are hellishly worse. At least on the M-day you can roll into it with the thought of "Hey at least I got to sleep in yesterday". And by Wednesday the weekend is at least visible, but Tuesday it seems is without either saving grace.

Especially when you have Tuesdays like today when autumn's darkness does nothing to promote waking and the temperature outside is tragically barely approaching freezing. I've long believed that waking up is a process and not an event and it's days like today when that process takes considerably longer than it has any right to. So now is where you ask yourself, "Self, if lisa had such a hard time waking up, how did she possibly get to work early to write out this randomly pointless LoL?" The answer to that is as simple as it is delicious: Coffee.

I don't know who invented the stuff but it's pure liquid genius. I think I would've liked to have been there when someone started pulling beans off a plant and said "Hey maybe if we grind these suckers up, pour boiling water over 'em, .....add in some of that ground up cane plant ....and a little of that white stuff that came out 'o the cow... Whoooo-eeee! I think we got ourselves a drink!" Or maybe not but at the very least Juan Valdez should've won the Nobel Peace Prize decades ago.

In honor of my tribute to this hot caffeinated concoction I give you - both Good and Bad - The Top Ten Things That Could Never Have Happened Without Coffee: (Disclaimer: Okay so there's nothing accurate or scientifically correct about this list, it's just for amusement and yes, without coffee they all could have come about anyway. There is after all, such a thing as Mountain Dew)

(10) Travel Mugs - Now it might seem rather obvious that without coffee you wouldn't really need travel mugs but seriously, have you ever stopped to consider how many millions of dollars must be spent each year on the design and production of Travel Mugs? I think that - based on the uniqueness of colors, shapes, forms and the constant invention of newer and better temperature tolerant materials, plus the aerodynamics involved in spill proof, tip proof, scald proof, drink proof designs - the travel mug industry must have been birthed as an offshoot of Vogue meets NASA.

(9) Really Bad Commercials - I'm not trying to say that something as cruel as cramming Sarah Jessica Parker and Lenny Kravitz into thirty seconds of audio-visual tormentia is solely the fault of coffee but the execs over at GAP should at least have the courtesy to spare us from the type of psychedelic strutting your stuff in all our clothes will make you super cool propaganda that can drive anyone nuts. Either the producers of this half-minute trash have had way too much coffee and can't quite connect the common sense and action parts of their brains or they need a little bit more coffee to stop and think through such questions as "Why in the world would anyone layer eighteen tank tops when it's the middle of summer???"

(8) Toys 'R Us - Ah yes. The Happiest Place on Earth Where a Kid Can Be a Kid... Or is that the ShowBiz Pizza at DisneyWorld? Either way Chuck E. Cheese never stood a chance against Geoffrey the Giraffe. And Kay Bee? Don't even try! Toys 'R Us has to be the most caffeine and consumer and caffeinated-consumer inspired store ever to anchor the outskirts of the Fox Valley Mall. Toy stores were created with caffeine in mind and even now, I begrudgingly type this knowing that my keyboard can never give proper tribute to the backwards R sandwiched so elegantly between Toys and Us. Just don't go near there around Christmas time....

(7) Infomercials - Anyone who's seen a self-tanning accident with gaudy jewelry trying to sell you the world's most useless kitchen utensil at three in the morning knows exactly what I'm talking about. Coffee is certainly responsible because no decaf individual could possibly get that excited about a free tote bag and insomnia - caused by coffee - is the only reason an audience for these 90 minute flea markets even exists!

(6) Alternative Pop Music - Say what you want about the influence of Ecstasy and Mary Jane on today's rockin' youth I'm going to make a bold claim here that caffeine is responsible at least in part for the hyperactive nature of the rock videos that I've seen recently. I'm talking more about the Blink 182 crowd than the Brittney Backstreet waves of the early 2000's and I'll refrain from commenting on the irony of how a knock-off band like Good Charlotte makes it big with an anthem about not being like everyone else. (??!??!?) But with singers that speak quicker than senatorial spin doctors and can jump around more than a monkey on hot asphalt I honestly think caffeine must come into play somewhere.

(5) A Passing Grade On The Final Exam That You Didn't Study For Until 13 Hours Before The Test Began - That first late night cram session was probably how most of us got hooked on the delectable brew and all I can say is that from my experience, it was the start of a beautiful relationship!

(4) The Taster's Choice couple (and other psycho coffee commercial people) - Okay in all fairness I haven't seen the Taster's Choice couple around for the better part of the last twelve years but we can all look back with some fondness on the insanity of these ads. MAN: Darling, doesn't this coffee remind you of our vacation last summer? WOMAN: Oh yes, honey. You mean when we went to that sidewalk cafe in Paris? MAN: No that's what the Parisian Blend instant coffee reminds us of. This is the Swiss Chalet Roast. WOMAN: Oh you're right. Now that I taste it I definitely recall that hotel of ours in the Alps. MAN: Wasn't that a fun time? That great view of the mountains.... WOMAN: Hiking through the snow.... MAN: Fighting off that bear.... WOMAN: Using our last match to cauterize your massive skull wound.... MAN: Struggling with hypothermia after the search party found us.... WOMAN: And that really great coffee that they served when we were released from the hospital!! MAN & WOMAN: That was a great vacation! *kiss kiss kiss*

(3) My relationship with God - I had to throw in a serious one here because I know that some of the best Bible studies and most amazing things I've learned and taught about God and theology and Christian living have been in coffee shops and that's just cool. God and coffee - what can I say they make a great combo and are, in a nutshell, how I make it through the worst of my work days. ;)

(2) Astrophysics - I was reading this article in a science magazine about quantum physics versus the theory of relativity in trying to explain black holes and the potential for information to ever be released from them (what you thought I only read Dan Brown novels?!??) and it hit me just how deep astrophysics really is. And the more I thought about it the more I realized that it's one area of science that would vanish entirely - or at least cease to propagate - if not for the existence of caffeine. Not only is caffeine essential to getting your brain to work fast enough to follow the trains of thought from the great physicists of our time, but without caffeine none of us would stay awake long enough to even try.

(1) The LoL - It's long been assumed, stated, irrefutably proven that none of this insanity would ever be coming to you without the unbridled assistance of massive doses of caffeine. So if you like what you read, thank coffee, if you wish for my prolonged periods of incommunication, blame coffee. Regardless, you should drink coffee because you just never know what it will inspire next.

Cofeefully Yours,

lisa :)

LoL#49: Lime Green Spandex Monkeys

It's August 27th!!! Time to Celebrate!!! And for all of you that aren't Lauren (today's her 24th b-day) you can celebrate a very special 2nd Anniversary of The LoL!! (LoL= Life of Lisa, Lisa on Life, Lisa Online, Lawrence of L'Arabia....okay maybe not that last one...) But that's right friends! It's been two psychotic years of randsane quasi-deep thoughts littered with Matrix references and imaginary Celebrity Death Match pairings!! In honor of this momentous occasion I'm going to go buy some COTTON!!!!! WOOHOO COTTON!!!!!

(You know how "you learn something new every day"? Well, consider this your educational moment for those that aren't following me: According to some ancient books of wisdom and probably Hallmark too, the traditional anniversary gift for a second anniversary is cotton!! Granted, Hallmark has probably since changed this to say that the traditional gift for any aniversary is a Hallmark card but I guess they figure you'll buy a card to go with your cotton studded gift. In fact it could even say "Happy Anniversary! I hope it's not Rotten. I heard it's your second, so I bought you some Cotton!" *****Pause as Lisa considers a career change to Hallmark Greeting Card Writer***** Hmmm...maybe after we cure cancer....)

What's that??? Don't tell me you're not totally stoked about Cotton as a gift?!?!??

Just think.... I can go buy myself some cotton balls!!!
Or maybe some Q-Tips!!!!!
Some yarn, perhaps??

No make it a t-shirt!! Definitely a new t-shirt! And some SOCKS!!! YES! SOCKS!!! And then I can dance around like a spazz the way they do in the commercials while a little logo grows out of the center of the screen and says in that breathy commercial jingle voice "The Touch, The Feel of Cotton: The Fabric of our Lives"! SCORE!

But before I get too carried away - What's with that slogan anyway? Shouldn't time be the fabric of our lives? Or is that too metaphysical? I'm willing to accept that cloth can somehow act as an analogy for life but why Cotton? Puh-lease!! I'm almost offended that the commercial would insinuate that something as normal and ordinary as cotton could represent the "fabric" of MY life!

Can't Spun Silk be the fabric of my life? That would be pretty posh.... Oh wait I just remembered that I read something on MSN about how silkworms spin cocoons of one continuous thread of silk that when unwound can reach lengths of up to 3000 feet - and as cool as that is I don't know that I want the fabric of my life to be woven from something that originated in a worm's butt. Cancel that idea but I'm still not saying the fabric of my life is cotton. It's just too plain. Too standard. I'm not living the cotton life.

I'm probably living more of a Rayon-Poly Blend with 1-3% Spandex. And I'm probably some weird brightly colored fabric too. I'm like that bolt that you find on the endcap of the fabric aisle that's so retro it's cool and usually classified in the "Kids" section just because it's too wild and spastic for anyone over the age of 30 to take seriously. None of these primary colors that you see on the TV commercials. It's orange and lime green or hot pink and electric blue with the colors jutted up against each other so that when you stare at it you get that weird illusion that the shapes (which in my case would be monkeys) are moving of their own accord. Lime Green Spandex Monkeys. Yeah, that's a little more me.

Or maybe not. But at least it's not cotton. Happy 2nd LoL Anniversary everyone, have fun, keep smiling and thanks for reading!

Lime Green Spandex Monkeyfully Yours,

lisa :)


p.s. This message is brought to you by Taco Bell and the genius invention that is the New Blue Mountain Dew. Just when you thought Code Red was as good as it gets - they introduce Baja Blast. Thank you Pepsi-Cola!!

p.p.s. For those of you that missed out on any of the randsanity that the past two years have inspired, stop by and visit The Archive at ***edited: http://bloggerarrow.blogspot.com ***

p.p.p.s. Sorry I stink at remembering birthdays too - I owe a ton of shoutouts:
July & August birthdays: Beth, Agnes, Emily, Kris, Jason, Jessica, & Lauren (and I know I'm forgetting some too - I'M SORRY!!!)
And one more random shoutout to Kristy cause I have to tell you that my sister met Bebo Norman!!

LoL #47: Never was a corn flake girl.

Never was a Corn Flake girl. Thought it was a good solution....

Okay I have no clue where that analogy is going but it was one of those songs that I heard on the radio the other day that hadn't graced my ears for the better part of the last decade. But if there's any relevance of the song in my life it's that I never have liked Corn Flakes. The frosted variety is much preferable but, in truth, if a breakfast is to consist of such an outrageous number of sugar grams one might as well eat Lucky Charms because at least the marshmallows are in shapes much more fun to ponder.

The way I see it though, breakfast cereal could very well be the analogy I want to run with in describing my life at present. I can't go so far as to say that my life derives it's name from the Roman god of corn but to start with, I must point out the obvious comparison that both life and cereal (and I suppose also, Life cereal) have become exceptionally sweet - and life somehow manages to attain that sweetness without pasty white icing, dehydrated marshmallow pellets or being interspersed with sugar coated raisins. [And how Kellog's manages to cover every square nanometer of a raisin's surface with sugar remains one of the universe's more compelling mysteries...]

More so than the sugar factor though, life right now seems all about variety. Anyone who's been anywhere near a grocery store lately can attest to the fact that nowhere exists a clearer manifestation of the essence of variety than in the limitless infinity that is a cereal aisle. With cartoon charcaters to rival a fast forwarded Saturday morning marathon and colors reminiscent of an exploding circus tent, the choices are virtually endless. Similarly so are the choices involved with coordinating the details of wedding planning. [I'm sure you're all in the loop but just in case anyone missed the news, Tony and I got engaged Easter weekend!!! :) Wedding date is December 31st 2004, aka New Year's Eve wedding aka 227 days from now - woohoo!] Dress, Flowers, Hall, Cake, DJ, Photographer, China Pattern, Wedding Party, Tuxedos, Pastor, Ceremony style - I've decided that this is why people advise not to date anyone you can't see yourself marrying because any girl who gets engaged and still questions choice of groom would most likely suffer a severe brain meltdown from an overabundance of decisions to be made. Tony's the part of the equation that I'm very glad to be certain about. In my cereal analogy, he's the toy at the bottom of the box. Remember when you had to eat bowls of cereal every morning just to get one of those freaky squid style wacky wall crawlers? Well, all this crazy decision making stuff is fun and cool (like eating cereal) but the real joy (the toy at the bottom) is the fun of our life together. And anyone thinking me cruel to compare such an awesome guy to a cheap piece of sticky plastic doesn't understand how cool I thought wacky wall crawlers were and should also know that Tony and I routinely exchange such endearing compliments such as "You're like McDonald's" and "I'd rather talk to you than scrub my toilet".

But yeah, enough about wedding stuff. This is weird too because some of you are probably at the gag-me-with-a-spoon point of being sickeningly disgusted by my gushing about this all while others of you want details galore. In other news though, work is going well. I learned how to do mouse surgery today. A more valid statelment would be that I learned how to entangle my enormously large fingers in suture thread and attempt to form minisculely smalll x-shaped stitches in the abdomen of a tiny rodent. It's not a procedure I see myself mastering any time soon and all I can say is that luckily the subject was deceased during my practice trial. *Yikes* It was - in one word: bad. Or messy....no, we'll stick with "bad". In better news, my sister's baby is due next weekend too so I've been virtually glued to my cell phone eagerly awaiting the going-into-labor news. I was going to use the analogy of being surgically attached to my phone but after my earlier exploits in suturing (why do they make it look so easy on ER?!?!??) I decided to scratch that idea.

Well, I'm sure I've said enough by now and I hope that this e-mail finds you all well and happy and enjoying a sweet life free of abnormally sugar-coated raisins but filled with variety. That's all I really have to say for now.

Sweetfully & Varietyfully Yours,
- You bet your life it is -

lisa :)


p.s. Shoutouts to all the May birthdays like Kristy & Erika (I'm sure there's more of you out there but they're the only ones I'm remembering right now - sorry)!! Also a shoutout to everyone who got the whole Tori Amos connection with the first and last lines of the e-mail......nnnnnevermind.

LoL#44: Happy New Monkey Year!

Before I say anything, it's time for some shoutouts!!!! First to Chriskapher and Skirv Dog - I figure I'd go ahead and add y'all to my list of monthly lisa updates (LoL = Lisa on Life or Life of Lisa or Lisa Online or something like that). Be warned that it's as random as I am but if you like what you read check out the archive - ****edit: http://bloggerarrow.blogspot.com ***** - and see what you missed. On the other hand, if you find this to be an annoyance to your daily life and consider it to be one more piece of meaningless spam, let me know that too and you can get off the list. Next shoutouts go to the January birthday people and while I'm at it I'll go ahead and mention the Feb's too so that if I've forgotten anyone (and I'm sure I have - DOH!) you can let me know and you'll get a s.o. in February. So let's see that's James L, Igor K, Heidi E, Katie B, Danny S, and my sweetie Tony G (who'll be blushing now that I called him "my sweetie" - hee hee).

So......Happy New Year because this is the first LoL of 2004 (yes it really is already 2004!!) and Happy New Monkey Year because a week ago was Chinese New Year and it's the Year of the Monkey!! Like many of you other soon to be 24-year olds I was born in 1980 also a Year of the Monkey and supposedly it's a good luck thing to be born under that sign. Am I lucky? Sure. Am I any luckier than the myriad of people I know also born in that same year? Nah. But I figure monkeys usually sybolize fun, silly, clever creativty so let's just say heck with any horoscope superstitions and we can all just have a Monkey kind of year. Besides, my year was off to a rather chaotic start (got mono, missed two weeks of work, my dog got killed by a hit and run driver...) so hopefully now that it's the New MONKEY Year things will be a little more "normal".

But back to the subject of the new year, I was looking back at last January and I realized that I actually was fairly successful at all three of my New Year's Resolutions. I figured that after a year like that I deserved a break so I immediately resolved not to make any New Year's resolutions and then got mad at myself for failing already. But seriously, what is it about the new year that makes people so anxious for change? Is it the whole "turning over a new leaf" deal? I cringe everytime I hear people invoke that analogy. There's something inherently foolish about believing that a new day week or year can simply erase the previous. The difference between 2003 and 2004 is a simple case of 24 hours. There really is no magic in the ball dropping over Times Square (although there is something decidedly suspicious about Mr Fountain of Youth, Dick Clark...). Perhaps the whole resolution mess can be attributed to the curse of saying "there's always next year". Aside from the Cubs fans that still want a price on Steve Bartman's head, is this really something anyone should say? Don't try again next year, do something NOW! Life's too short. Maybe the audition, the game, the test, is next year, but ask yourself, what can I do for it now? New Year's Resolutions have to be about an attitude change and you'd better believe that the dead of winter could be one of the most challenging times to initiate changes within ourselves. Why not have Mid-Year resolutions? The summer sun would be a much more encouraging time to decide to start a new hobby and what better motivator for breaking a bad habit than the increasing hours of daylight in May and June?

As for me, I'm not really resolving to change anything about myself right now. Yeah I could go down the same list as everyone - healthier food, more excercise, less caffeine, saner thinking - but with the exception of actually eliminating my entire caffeine consumption (which, trust me, AIN'T gonna happen!), none of these goals can ever be actualized. There will always be a healthier diet, there will always be a few more pounds to shed, there will always be saner thoughts than those that I think. Is it all fruitless? Meaningless? Nah. Goals have purpose but they're so much easier to grasp daily or even weekly. Monthly, maybe, if you're really ambitious - but a yearly thing? Are we in that much of hurry to get through life???

So, you ask, what IS lisa looking for this year??

In a word, ADVENTURE!!!! Not adventure as in lisa's life as a Jerry Bruckheimer film (although Pirates of the Carribbean would be cool... YARR!!), I mean adventure as in new experiences. I'm not planning any world traveling. I'm not even planning any in the country traveling. But there resides inside me a desperate fear of the static and mundane. In my book "routine" should be a four letter word! I'm looking back at 2003 and the year held a lot of firsts. Meeting new people, doing new things, learning new skills, reading new books, hearing new bands, trying new foods, going new places - a whole hodgepodge of experiences that I had previously never experienced! Some of you may read this and be further convinced of my mental instability. You see nothing pleasurable about The New and The Different and may attribute this whole rant to the fact that I've been cooped up with mono for too long. But I'm the kind who never orders the same menu item twice (unless it's coconut shrimp....) - I thrive on the chaos of unpredicability. I'm hoping that 2004 will be as thrilling as 03 and I fully intend to do everything in my power to make it so!

Here's hoping that this year's adventures will include you and if not, may you have plenty of your own!


Adventurefully Yours,

lisa :)


p.s. To S.P. who's right there with me - and encouraging me - to try anything once!! You really are the kind of friend that makes life more fun!!

LoL#42: Just About Write!

Hmmm....

This is odd. It's November, not that there's anything specifically odd about November...besides Turkeys...turkey's are just kinda freaky...and Tofurkey is really odd but I ranted enough about that last year (see The Archive)...what I mean is that is it's pretty odd that it's almost through November already (THANKSGIVING'S TOMORROW!!!) and the last LoL I sent was sometime in early October. I could make excuses that I haven't had time to write anything but really it's more a lack of meeting between inspiration and time on the keyboard.

But as always, nothing to say has never stopped me from talking. Especially since I'm long overdue on a ton of shoutouts. First off November birthdays: Jenny , Sara M & Kristin P!!!! Woohoo!! And since Jenny's turning 20 (is that right??? Are you really gonna be 20??!!?? Dang, I feel old...) there are officially no more teenagers on this list! I have such a mature audience!! Uhh.....riiiiiiight.... And speaking of my "audience" a very special shoutout to Kris and Jason C for being added to the list!! And if you don't know what the heck this is about, don't worry, cause I really have no clue either.

But I will recap a little. There's been talk lately about what "LoL" actually stands for. Obviously it's a play on the fact that LOL is AOL-speak for "laugh out loud" (did anyone NOT know that???) but originally I declared it to mean "Life of Lisa" meaning that these messages would be all about whatever was going on in my life at present. Eventually though I realized how lame my life really was (j/k) and decided that instead of boring y'all with the details of cancer research (no we didn't cure it yet!) I would instead expand off into my crazy thoughts about life in general so I decided that it should stand for "Lisa on Life" but supposedly seeing as how infrequently I'm on the computer these days it might more accurately stand for "Lisa Online". And once again if you want to check out the back-log LOL Archive you can find it at *****edited: http://bloggerarrow.blogspot.com******

So time for random insanity which for simplicity's sake I'm just going to call randsanity. That's my new word. It means random insanity. Randsanity. Use it in a sentence at least three times today and you will help to incorporate it into everyday use. Even jiggabuns had to start somewhere! Actually a better idea would be to use it in three different sentences today. If you went around and told everyone about Lisa's randsanity of inventing the word randsanity then there would be a little too much randsanity going around.

OOH! New topic to rant about: FREE STUFF!!! I love free stuff!!! I mean I know you could argue that nothing is truly free and that even handouts come with an opportunity cost, but we're gonna throw those debates out the window and just say that free stuff is really really cool!!! The reason that I mention it is because last year during our insanely early day after Thanksgiving shopping extravaganza (I don't know if it really counts as an extravaganza, I just really like the word extravaganza) we got free radios at Target. I wonder if there will be any more cool free stuff this year, but actually I've had a string of good luck in getting some cool free stuff lately. First off last month I got to go to a free Sting concert in Grant Park. It was sponsored by American Express and they were giving out tickets at Union Station. It was really cool because they had these little "game pieces" that they handed out and they had bar codes on them that they scanned and told you if you won or not. (I'm not sure why they're called game pieces, handing me something and then scanning it is hardly a "game".) But anyway the conversation went like this:

Me: (appraoching large crowd of people in American Express T-Shirts) What's this all about?
AmEx Dude: It's a free Sting concert in Grant Park, take a game piece and I'll tell you if you won.
Me: (resisting urge to debate if scanning a paper was really a "game") Uhh...okay.
AmEx Dude: (scans card) Sorry, not a winner.
Me: So that's it?
AmEx Dude: Are you a Sting fan?
Me: Yeah he's pretty cool. I mean I'm not die hard, but hey, free concert woulda been cool.
AE D: (takes out large stack of "game" pieces) I gotta winner in here somewhere.... (scans several cards) Here's one! (hands me winning game piece) Just take that over to the guy over there and he'll get you your tickets.

Needless to say I proceeded to ask the game piece dude and the ticket guy "What's the catch???" But aside from having to give them my name and address - which will most likely ensure my receipt of AmEx junk mail for the rest of my life that I'm already inundated with anyway - there really were no strings attached and I walked out with Sting tickets and my dad and I got to go to a really cool show! And for those of you Non-Sting fans out there I have another really cool Free story. I went to see the movie Elf the other night with Tony and his family and while we were in line buying tickets a woman approached me with an invitation to a free movie screening. It was for the new Ben Affleck movie Jersey Girl and they were recruiting a test audience to view it with the editors before its release. Now I'm not really a B. Fleck fan but again it was one of those hey, it's free! moments and I figured even if it sucked big time, I wasn't paying to see it. So Tony and I showed up to watch it Monday night but I guess they overbooked the number of invitations and as we were waiting in line the managers gave us coupons for a free admission to any other show playing at the theater that night! We went to see Master and Commander instead (and although it wasn't the greatest movie, based on what I heard of Gigli, I think it's safe to assume that it was better than Jersey Girl). So yeah, free stuff is cool.

Hopefully that's enough randsanity for you all. Sorry that I've been slacking on the e-mails and even more so sorry for slacking on the shoutouts. I lost my address book so if everyone could send me a quick reply with your name, address, phone number and birthday that would be super spiffy.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Ransanityfully Yours,

lisa :)

LoL #34: As Nickelback would say...

In the immortal words of Nickleback "It's been a while....." since I've sent an LoL. And actually in all fairness to Chad Kroger and the boys I should quote them as saying "Tsbeenawhile" because I don't even know if they're aware that there should be four words there.

Anyhoo, some of you have been bugging me about what the deal is with the lack of LoL's lately so here's number 34 with extreme apologies for its delay to those of you that missed me and with extreme apologies for its arrival to those of you that were thankful for the dealy in my quasi-weekly annoyance.

I'm sure y'all want to know what's new with me I can't say that too much has been going on (moving, painting, bridal showering...). I did realize though that this is the first year of my life (that I can consciously remember) that I don't have a summer break. It's kinda stressin' me too so y'all can bet on me completely cracking sometime late August (take your bets now - will she break before or after recieving her MCAT scores????). Not to say that I don't have some vacation days with plans to take more than a couple three day weekends, (4th of July Michigan trip, Minnesota the week after, and Wisconsin in early August!) but I'm talking none of this month or more time off, summer job, free Cantera movies, chillaxin at the beach, cool summer stylin time. And you know what? It sucks!

No just kidding. Welcome to the real world (...she said to me ...condescendingly....). It's certainly tolerable. And it occurred to me the other day that what I need to most appreciate about my job (besides the paychecks which are now devoted mostly to living expenses) are the things that make it unique. Consider this a crash course in how not to hate one's job but basically it came down to asking myself, what is it about where I'm at and what I'm doing that I can't experience elsewhere? The list I came up with was 1) the people ; 2) the training ; 3) the impact I can have ; and 4) Chicago. Now for those of you looking over my list and singing the Sesame Street classic "One of these things is not like the others..." let me explain. Obvioulsy the people I work with, what I'm learning, and the progress of our research are all unique to Northwestern but as for number four I realized how cool it is to be in the most spiffy city of Chicago day after day. Especially in the spring. We started a lab techie tradition too of eating lunch outside on the really nice days. Sometimes we check out cool local restaurants (Italian, Japanese, Thai, and Cajun so far...) but sometimes we just eat our sack lunches quickly and then go wander around. There's something way cool about sitting on the lakefront, hiking around Navy Pier, or window shopping the Magnificent Mile that provides just enough of an hour long break from PCR, tissue culture, and measuring mouse tumors to convince me that it actually is summer.

And there's always Sno-cones too. Sno-Cones just scream summer. Which is why last summer I purchased a Sno-Cone maker (Target clearance sale - Yeah baby!). So now anyone who comes to visit Karrie and I (hint, hint, y'all wanna come see us!!!) can have a free Sno-Cone! And if Icy-Sugary delicacies are not your cup of tea you can have something warmer ...like a cup of tea ...heh heh ...just kidding. Actually you can have a capuccino cause my sister Anne bought me a Cappucino macine at a garage sale as a housewarming gift and I actually figured out how to work the thing! (Now I'm gonna open up my own Coffee and Sno-Cone shop... with the ultimate goal of world domination of course.)

Speaking of summer yummies too, we got free ice cream sundaes at work today. It's this whole Staff Appreciation thing where they give us free food now and then but there might be something to the theory of pumping us full of sugar to increase rates of productivity. And to wrap things up I guess "This is how you remind me" about being productive, cause I gotta get back to work! Hope all is going great with y'all!

Chad Krogerfully Yours,

lisa :)

p.s. Just in case any of y'all are clueless, Chad Kroger is the lead singer from the group Nickleback and "It's Been a While" and "This is How you Remind Me" were two of their hit songs.
p.p.s. There's also a brief John Mayer reference in this e-mail cause he rocks!
p.p.p.s. And a quick shoutout to Tony with Kudos for making the multiple "p" ps's cool again and cause he's the one who made fun of my usage of y'all which of course is the reason why I now use y'all every chance I get! ;p Y'all can blame him if y'all don't like all the y'alls I use in talkin to y'all!

LoL #17:The Twelve (o' clock) Towers

Yes you read that correctly. Last night marked the midnight excursion for the over three hour viewing of The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers - and I'm at work the next morning! I'll save you the calculation troubles and say that I only slept two and a half hours last night (4am-6:30) but it was well worth it. This ranks as the third most fun movie going outing in recent memory (Numbers two and one being The Fellowship of the Ring last year and seeing Goonies at the Beverly when the whole theater sang Happy Birthday to me for my 21st - there's no topping that)

Anyhoo, the movie (although perhaps not as excellent as the first) was supreme and the company sharing it was hilariously awesome. Combining the fact that I was on drugs (caffeine, Aleve, Amoxicillin, and a Cherry/Cola ICEE) and Emily brought action figures plus we were all slap happy - it was totally nuts. (Shoutouts to "my twin", "Snood Froggy Frogg of Elandel", "Bob Marie Lupin", and "the Monkeyboy Princess of the Fu Dogs" who would be the only ones clued in on the jokes I could start spewing out right now that came up during the movie - and are the only ones who understand their own nicknames.)

In other news we're having a pizza party at work today. We got a Giordano's gift certificate for ordering a bunch of lab supplies from some company - they like to bribe us...and we're pretty easily bought.

Oh and I just earned a taco.

That's not as random as it seems. (Well it is, but I'll explain...) One of my coworkers pointed out that the time it takes to check one's e-mail is equivalent in salary to the approximate cost of a taco. So I guess my the time I write a whole LoL I've earned myself a combo meal! And the other randomness from the people on my floor at work is that in the middle of preparing glycerol stocks yesterday I was interrupted with the message of "All your base are belong to us".

Needless to say I couldn't think up the next Zero Wing response so all I could say was something to the effect of "that was sooooo five minutes ago!" So now I have shocked the Cancer Center with my knowledge of poorly translated Sega video games. I don't know why I know these things, I JUST DO!!!! Kind of like if someone randomly came up to me with the phrase "You fight like a dairy farmer" I would have no choice but to respond with "How appropriate, you fight like a cow!" Not that either of those phrases would appear in any sane or normal civilized conversation but, hey, you never know who's a Guybrush Threepwood fan these days. ("Look! Behind you! It's a three headed monkey!!!!" .....no?)

Alright it's settled. Lab Technichian, Lord of the Rings fan, elite knowledge of video games.... I'm officially a geek! No, it's not an insult. I'll accept my fate and be proud that my intelligence and odd taste for bizzarre pop culture items with cult-like followings have earned me such a title. Blame my brother or my cousin who first lent me Dragonlance and Forgotten Realms novels or Kristin and Lauren who even before that share my memories of "Science Camp". But as I cling wholeheartedly to my love of shopping (especially for shoes) and my occasional high maintenence primping sessions, I refuse the stereotype and officially deem myself a new breed of Geek that can be nerdy and stylish and witty and smart and fun all at the same time!!! (And I know that many of you on this list are equally qualified for my new genre of NeoGeek and your credentials are noted - all I can say is welcome to the club!)

On that note I think I'll write this entire e-mail off as sleep-deprivation induced insanity (oh wait...that's ALL my e-mails!!!)


NeoGeekfully Yours,

lisa :)



p.s. I came up with NeoGeek as in "Neo" meaning "new" but I guess it also works as a play off of Neo from The Matrix who was 100% Geek but also 100% Cool.

p.p.s. The whole dairy farmer, Guybrush Threepwood, Three-headed monkey deal was a reference to the series of "Monkey Island" video games - hilarious, addictive, challenging, and all out awesome! Let me know if any of y'all knew what I was talking about there and shoutouts to all y'all that can place Gabriel Knight and Tex Murphy too.

LoL#14: Holidays, Tofurkey, Shopping & Shoutouts

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Okay so I know it's not till tomorrow, but I'm pretty excited! Four days off of work will be my longest (and most needed!) break since I started my job (August 19th). Crazy stuff, eh??

But yeah it's that great time of year when we're all overloaded with family, food, and football! And of course for those that have the extended joy of extended family you get that wonderful dose of questions "So are you seeing anyone these days?" "Any wedding bells ringing soon??" "When can we be expecting grandkids?" and all those other awkward no-pressure-really! questions. I urge you all to respond to these or any other bizzarre unwanted conversations with a simple question of your own: "What's the deal with Tofurkey?"

And just so you can be extra-wise asking questions that you know the answer to, tofurkey is tofu flavored (and sometimes shaped) like turkey as a Vegan/Vegetarian Thanksgiving alternative. I've never actually tried it nor do I have any specific desire to, but it's a great inspiration for conversation - especially if one is trying to redirect conversation away from one's personal life. First off, your audience may very likely just laugh at the very word "Tofurkey". If this doesn't happen there's a possible fear factor associated with the idea that a soy product could replace a several hundered year old November delicacy. If that happens go for the shock value and see if you can convince anyone post-mealtime that what you consumed was in fact the most realistic Tofurkey currently on the market. (...and if anyone's successful on that front, I want details!!)

Another random Turkey fact is that my mom bought a 23 pound Turkey this year. This wouldn't be too bad if we were having a year like last (fifteen people, three dogs and a partridge in a pear tree...) but we're not really having company this year. Granted at 9 people my family without guests is a sizable clan but when you realize that one of those nine is my seven month old niece, a quick calculation reveals that this comes out to almost three pounds of turkey per person. And we haven't even talked about side dishes yet....

So yeah, we'll all be eating leftovers until sometime half way through advent, but we need to keep our strength up for the Friday shopping extravaganza. My mom, sisters, (and sometimes aunt, and cousins) and I have the tradition of every year braving the crowds for awesome day-after-thanksgiving shopping deals. You know all those ads for "Early Bird Specials"? That's us. We're already scheduled to be at Kohl's at 6am. My sister Anne's bringing the coffee...lots of it... (As if you didn't think we were insane enough already...)

But I could ramble about holiday insanity forever and I'd rather give some cool belated-birthday shoutouts. Two super spiffy ladies had super spiffy birthdays last weekend, so happy belated birthday to Sara M and Kristin S...P!! [sorry, ;) still adjusting]

Hope you all have a wonderful holiday though and just to be extra sappy and cheesy, when we were little at Thanksgiving we would go around the table and everyone would list one thing they were thankful for. Even though we grew out of the tradition sometime around junior high, I think this year I would most likely say I'm most thankful for awesome family and friends like all of you!


Tofurke-fully Yours,

lisa :)


p.s. If anyone's in town and wants to join in on the insane early-morning shopping you're totally invited! Sleep deprivation and bargain hunting....it's a beautiful thing! Or better yet, if anyone's in town and wants to come eat Turkey, you're definitely invited!! TWENTY THREE FRICKIN POUNDS PEOPLE!!! Do you realize how long that's gonna last??? *sigh* maybe I'll start fasting now.... You have to love too how after the first couple days it starts mutating into it's various forms... turkey sandwiches, turkey soup, turkey casserole, turkey lasagna, turkey stew....


:)

LoL #8: J's , Homecoming, and some random insanity

Hello all and welcome (back) to the insane world of the weekly Lisa update [LoL = Lisa on Life]!

Something I don't normally do here is welcome people to the list - there's four newbies and sorry, Melinda but you're the odd one out. The reason I mention this at all is that the other three new additions are all named Jessica. (How weird is that?) Melinda you're added by request, Jigga-Jess D you're added cause Jigga-Jason gave me permission to spam you ; Jess G you're on here cause this is my forum for sharing crazy work stories plus J-Darkknight mentioned you might be up for some homecoming plans ; and Jess C you're added because in adding the other two Jess's I realized that I never added you to my list (sounds like France is way cool - rock on sis!!). So to Melinda and the Jessicas (that sounds like a girl rock band) - welcome to my insanity, you're under no obligation to stay but I thought I'd at least give ya a chance to get in on the fun. I also have to point out too that this now makes "J" the most popular letter in my address book - you're all grouped by first names - "J" was formerly tied with "K" but has now taken over.

Not like any of you care about my address book anyway. Okay Lisa lay off the crack and say something important! Homecoming weekend!! Woohoo!! October 25-27 at U of I!!! Yes, I am coming to visit! And although I was trying my hardest NOT to make plans - these things happen. Here's what I got so far: I'll be ariving in Chambana late Friday night (with Karrie) ; staying in the supreme Hotel de Lauren :) ; hopefully going out to Curtis Orchard Saturday morning (consider this your not so formal invitation to join in on the fun) ; going to the Homecoming game Sat afternoon (with cool people Sean, Greg, Sara, Brad, Karrie, etc) ; maybe catching SNG and hopefully a way cool SNaG ; Sunday lunch at Miko's if that works for Emily (if that don't work Sat dinner is maybe an option too) and who knows what else way cool fun stuff. Oh and there's all these rumors about when the barn dance is - 18th? 25th? Nov 1st? - and if November 1st is correct there's a chance you Chambaners could get a double dose of Lisa visits which would be cool since I'm sincerely hoping but not entirely sure that I'll see y'all Homecoming weekend. Oh and anyone who wants to reach me at any time that weekend (or actually anytime at all) call my cell phone.

Okay and here's where I give little shoutouts to Jenny and Kristin cause they're non U of I folk who probably couldn't care less about Homecoming weekend plans.

Now for the random insanity: I've had a lot of recurring teeth problems lately. (Told you it was random) Luckily my dental insurance just kicked in but I have to have my wisdom teeth taken out and I think I might have another cavity. Anyhoo the reason I mention this at all is that I've been really paranoid about the fact that my gums kept bleeding every time I brushed or flossed so I decided that I'd start in with the whole super healthy Listerine mouthwash (named after Joseph Lister and his favorite bacteria Lister monocytogesomething....did somebody say...McBio?). But anyway every time I use it I feel like I've set my gums on fire. Maybe I'm getting gingivitis from excessive coffee drinking or something but more likely I think Listerine is really just one part green dye, two parts alcohol and three parts hydrochloric acid. I'm not saying I've hit the green fairy hallucination level but ever since absinthe and NyQuil I would think that people would start being more suspicious of green alcoholic liquids.

And for the sake of more insane amusement I have to replay a little scene from Saturday night (that has nothing at all to do with Listerine but it's funny and random so enjoy):

[Border's Books & Music, Route 59 store ; 8:30-ish pm]
Karrie M & Lisa B perusing the standardized test study guide aisle; Earlier Saturday Lisa purchased an MCAT study guide at Barnes & Noble, Karrie's on a quest for a similar item for the GRE. Only problem is there are a million to choose from.

Karrie: How do I know which one's the best?

Lisa: Well, I know Kaplan's a good company but if you're like me you pick one out by the price tag.

Karrie: Do they have "GRE: For Dummies"?

*both laughing* [Lisa's cell phone rings]

Lisa: It's my sister. (answering phone and beginning to talk to sister)

Karrie: (turning around in the aisle to look at more interesting books - points enthusiastically at book on shelf) OH LOOK! It's the "Government has thousands of dollars for you" dude!!!

Lisa: (turning around to the sight of book with scary "Government has thousands of dollars for you" dude on the cover and cracking up) [to phone] sorry, Karrie's quoting infomercials at me. [Pulls Guiness Book of World Records off shelf and hands it to Karrie trying to distract her from being distracting] Here, find a record for us to break. [back to phone conversation]

Karrie: [opens book to random page] How about "Most Albino Siblings"?

Okay it was funny. Maybe you had to be there but we were both laughing a lot. And we eventually decided that since Albino siblings might be a bit tough we're gonna try for most clothespins stuck to one's face (what was the number 43? ouch.) Then again these were the ideas developed under the influence of Dairy Queen. It's Pumpkin Pie Blizzard season! SOOOOOO yummy!! I may even have to insist upon a DQ trip while in Chambana or else there's always TACO BELL (yes, I meant that to be overenthusiastically capitalized!).

I'll stop rambling now. Love to all!!

pumpkin pie blizzardfully yours,

lisa :)


p.s. I just realized that this e-mail is void of any funny work stories so even though it has nothing to do with work just a quick note for all the science nerds, Lauren informed me that this is currently the Year of Atmospheric Oxygen. Yea for science nerds who can figure that out!! And for all the non-science nerds I was watching Moulin Rouge on HBO last night - love that movie! - and can I just say that Ewan McGreggor is just way cool??? I was reminiscing about how as a mockery of Bree Sharp's song "David Duchovny, why won't you love me?" Emily and I developed our own version of "Ewan McGreggor, come to my kegger!"

...(and don't worry we were talking about a Root Beer Kegger) yes, I am insane as is almost everyone I know!!

:)

LoL#5: A day in the life of my nose

Yes, you read it right. Instead of my usual Lisa update, I want to take a different spin on a day in the life of me. It's recently occurred to me how many bizzarre/disgusting/awesome scents I encounter in a typical day so I invite you in on a semi-normal day of in the life of my nose.

* Pina-colada (my froo-froo shampoo/conditioner)
* Bacon (my parents breakfast)
* Coffee (my breakfast - yeah yeah bring on the nutrition lectures...)
* Dew (outside heading to the car - dew as in wet grass, not the soft drink)
* Naperville train smog
* Chicago train smog (what can I say, the train stations each have their own unique smog)
* Bus smog (way worse than train smog cause it's usually mixed with cab smog and car smog and general Chicago air pollution)
* Construction smog (there's a new building going up across the street from where I work. They're in the "moving dirt" phase of construction. They take an empty lot and move dirt around for two years and then overnight - poof! a building appears. There's a theory that in the "moving dirt" stage they're actually planting building seeds.)
* Elevator (did you ever notice that elevators have their own unique smell? Pay attention next time. And I'm not talking about smelling other people on the elevator. That's just wrong. I just mean that elevator air in general smells...different. Ummm, yeah, moving on...)
* Latex lab gloves (I go through probably close to 100 pairs a day and if you've ever worn them, you know the scent I mean. And yes, I'm exaggerating on the 100 pairs. But I do change gloves really frequently. Especially working with RNA, it's super important not to contaminate anything. I've come to the conclusion that there are few things worse than being in the middle of RNA purification and having your nose start to itch. Let's just say it happened yesterday and if there had been anyone watching me they would have thought I was doing an impression of a hyperactive rabbit sniffing crack.)
* Bleach (it's the biohazard disposal stuff in our lab. I almost got high on it the other day too. I think it's some sort of super strong extra potent uber bleach. Actually it's just regular clorox but once you mix it with random cell culture waste it smells... in one word: nasty.)
* Alcohol (the other all too frequent chemical I work with. All you chem/bio people know too that Ethanol is abbreviated EtOH but it's funny cause we have Ethanol wash bottles in the tissue culture lab - for sterilizing hands/tables/bottles/etc. - but one of the bottles got the OH part rubbed off so it was just a bottle of ET. hee hee... wash bottle phone home...okay maybe I'm still high on bleach fumes. The other weird thing about the alcohol is that when you work with cells and stuff you have to keep your hands really clean so we wear gloves and then periodically wipe them off with EtOH which sterilizes as it evaporates. The problem is that the evaporation also cools your golves down which is fine for most people, but I'm cold-hands girl to start with, add in the fact that our lab is overly air conditioned and you can guess that a good portion of my train ride home involves thawing out my fingers!)
* Cafeteria (forget everything you ever heard about the grossness of hospital food. The NMH - Northwestern Memorial Hospital - cafeteria is awesome. Or maybe I've just been subjected to Allen dorm food for four years and have lost all sense of good/bad cafeteria food.)
* A toaster that's been left on too long (that's the only way I can really describe the smell of an autoclave to anyone who's never smelled one. It's not really a burning smell, just sort of a something fried here a long time ago and only it's scent remains type of smell)
* More elevator smell
* More bus smog
* CHOCOLATE (it's really cool cause on the way back to the train staion the bus I take goes right past the Blommer Chocolate factory/outlet store - the corner of Kinzie & Des Plaines for all you Chicago-ans out there - so if the bus windows are cracked you get this wonderful smell of cholcolate wafting through. So imagine after a long day being tired, hungry and eagerly anticipating dinner and all you can smell is chocolate...it's bad enough to turn anyone into a ravenous chocoholic.)

I guess that about sums up a typical day in the life of my nose. It's been an insanely long week and I can't tell y'all how happy I am that it's Friday. Sorry if this was a little too bizarre or not quite amusing enough for some of you, but as a further warning, my next update will probably be something more on the serious side of things (but on the plus side I'll try to keep it shorter).

On that note too I want to add in what I'm gonna call the "PR" section of my updates. PR stands for prayer requests or press releases depending on whether or not you're the kind of person that believes God would heal a headache (and don't worry, I love you regardless of your stance on that one). Basically it's just gonna be the bigger things going on with me that are outside the bounds of the more trivial and humorous standard lisa ramblings. It'll go something like this:

This week's PR: I've got some big decisions on the drawing board these days. Some of you have the inside 411 and others will be filled in shortly but right now I'm in need of guidance to make some choices and confidence that the choices I make will be good ones.

And since I seem to be forgetting them lately - this week a very special spiffy shoutout goes out to Slovett (we'll do a one name thing for ya like "Madonna"!). She earns this shoutout by providing the awesome quote that's gonna be my motto if I ever need a campaign slogan:
"Lisa: living a normal life in an abnormal way."


have fun & keep smiling,

lisa (and her nose) :-)


p.s. note the inclusion of the nose on my smiley!

p.p.s. About that whole campaign slogan thing, no I'm not going into politics. But if anyone wants a really good book to read about some politicians and other cool people read "The Greatest Generation" by Tom Brokaw. It's a series of short story/biographies about people from the WWII era and considering I don't normally like biographies, WWII books, or Tom Brokaw if I say it's one of the best books I've read in a long time you KNOW it's gotta be good. :)