Thursday, December 18, 2003

LoL#43: Christmas, Weird Al, & Laredo Taft

Christmas is almost here!!!! Less than a week til the big day and if you're like me the Christmas cards are just starting to be sent and the shopping is a task that you've put off way too long and now are overly scared to approach the dreaded location known as The Mall. But before I get too deep into talking about Christmas (and the connection between holidays, Weird Al and Laredo Taft) it's, of course, time for some shoutouts!!

Wonderful December birthdays include Jacklyn B and Natalie U!! And for the sake of just giving some random shoutouts to generally cool people, here's shoutouts to Emily H, Lauren J and Tony G because not only are they three of the superest spiffiest people I know, but they were part of the insanely fun experience that was the midnight trek out to see Return of the King on Tuesday night and it ROCKED!!! Seriously - it was just downright awesome! And although I could make this entire e-mail about the coolness of Lord of the Rings, I do have something of another point to talk about.

Big surprise here, I'm gonna talk about Christmas. Now I'm assuming that everyone on this list is at least pretty familiar with Christmas. You might not think it's the superest holiday ever and it's possible that your family doesn't even celebrate it in the remotest sense of the word, but I'm gonna go with the idea that at least through the psychoses that is modern media you're all at least vaguely familiar with the ideology and iconery that is associated with Dec. 25th.

I came up with a little metaphor/idea here that holidays in general are sort of like inspirational subjects for artists to have their way with. Take for example a beautiful Elizabethan noble woman. Now one artist may have her sit in some distinguished pose and have her image amazingly captured in oils on canvas. Meanwhile another inspired individual sees the same lady and carves her likeness in shallow relief into wood. Still another chooses words as his media and composes a sonnet to tell of her astounding beauty. As years pass by new artists draw on the originals and the oil painting is redone into a threaded tapestry. The wood carving is taken as a template for a new abstract cubist portrait. The sonnet is suddenly embellished with music and transformed into a choral masterpiece accompanied by a full orchestra.

Now let's talk specifics. Christmas is sort of like that beautiful noble woman. The actual holiday started so long ago that maybe it seems too distant to truly appreciate. Every celebration is just a reworking of a reworking of a reworking of the original. You might feel like commercialism and modernism has choked away all sense of what it's actually about. Maybe the artist you most see working with the holiday for you is Werid Al. Don't take this as any sort of a dis on Weird Al - I've long been a fan of his and still can't here "Money For Nothing" without thinking "Beverly Hillbillies". I'm also not endorsing any Weird Al Christmas albums (if they even exist). My point is that maybe you look at Christmas as something that was really cool and fun and made you smile uncontrollably as a kid but lately as every holiday season approaches you realize it's been years since there's been a good hit. You can still look at the older ones with fond memories, but you're tired of just looking back and you're longing for the smiles to be about something new, something current.

If this is the case, I want to offer a new perspective. I've decided that the artist metaphorically designing my holidays is going to be one along the lines of Laredo Taft. Consider this a little journey into Art History 115 but Taft is an amazing American sculptor that most folks from Champaign know solely for the Alma Mater. And actually when I first heard of Taft, that's all I knew him for too. But the then I started to look deeper. There's actually a couple sculptures across the campus, all his, and my favorite is one located in the Krannert Art Museum called "The Blind".

The subject of the sculpture is a story of a group of blind men and women stranded on an island who discover that there is a sighted child among them. All the individuals are groping around in the dark, reaching out to everything but seeing nothing, suddenly they lift a small child up above their heads with the exclamation and realization "The child can see!! Let the child lead us!!!!" It's hard to describe the emotion captured in that single moment if you've never seen the sculpture - and actually it's one of those pieces of artwork that's cool and yet eeriely disturbing (none of the people have eyes, it's kinda creepy). But it's the type of art that I can look at a hundred times and see something new about each time. There's no limit to the emotions it can draw out of me and every angle I study it at reveals something new.

My point is that this is more how Christmas can and should be. Let every angle of the holidays bring about a new emotion. Sure each year is the same thing. And maybe each year doesn't bring happy memories or warm thoughts. But every look is a chance to see something new. And every year is a chance to look deeper and remember a true meaning deeper than Santas and Rudolphs and Frostys. It's not about lights and cards and shopping and wrapping.

It's about the truest gift ever given. It's about God's love for a very dark world.

The child can see. Let the child lead us.

Christmasfully Yours,

lisa :)

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

LoL#42: Just About Write!


This is odd. It's November, not that there's anything specifically odd about November...besides Turkeys...turkey's are just kinda freaky...and Tofurkey is really odd but I ranted enough about that last year (see The Archive)...what I mean is that is it's pretty odd that it's almost through November already (THANKSGIVING'S TOMORROW!!!) and the last LoL I sent was sometime in early October. I could make excuses that I haven't had time to write anything but really it's more a lack of meeting between inspiration and time on the keyboard.

But as always, nothing to say has never stopped me from talking. Especially since I'm long overdue on a ton of shoutouts. First off November birthdays: Jenny , Sara M & Kristin P!!!! Woohoo!! And since Jenny's turning 20 (is that right??? Are you really gonna be 20??!!?? Dang, I feel old...) there are officially no more teenagers on this list! I have such a mature audience!! Uhh.....riiiiiiight.... And speaking of my "audience" a very special shoutout to Kris and Jason C for being added to the list!! And if you don't know what the heck this is about, don't worry, cause I really have no clue either.

But I will recap a little. There's been talk lately about what "LoL" actually stands for. Obviously it's a play on the fact that LOL is AOL-speak for "laugh out loud" (did anyone NOT know that???) but originally I declared it to mean "Life of Lisa" meaning that these messages would be all about whatever was going on in my life at present. Eventually though I realized how lame my life really was (j/k) and decided that instead of boring y'all with the details of cancer research (no we didn't cure it yet!) I would instead expand off into my crazy thoughts about life in general so I decided that it should stand for "Lisa on Life" but supposedly seeing as how infrequently I'm on the computer these days it might more accurately stand for "Lisa Online". And once again if you want to check out the back-log LOL Archive you can find it at *****edited:******

So time for random insanity which for simplicity's sake I'm just going to call randsanity. That's my new word. It means random insanity. Randsanity. Use it in a sentence at least three times today and you will help to incorporate it into everyday use. Even jiggabuns had to start somewhere! Actually a better idea would be to use it in three different sentences today. If you went around and told everyone about Lisa's randsanity of inventing the word randsanity then there would be a little too much randsanity going around.

OOH! New topic to rant about: FREE STUFF!!! I love free stuff!!! I mean I know you could argue that nothing is truly free and that even handouts come with an opportunity cost, but we're gonna throw those debates out the window and just say that free stuff is really really cool!!! The reason that I mention it is because last year during our insanely early day after Thanksgiving shopping extravaganza (I don't know if it really counts as an extravaganza, I just really like the word extravaganza) we got free radios at Target. I wonder if there will be any more cool free stuff this year, but actually I've had a string of good luck in getting some cool free stuff lately. First off last month I got to go to a free Sting concert in Grant Park. It was sponsored by American Express and they were giving out tickets at Union Station. It was really cool because they had these little "game pieces" that they handed out and they had bar codes on them that they scanned and told you if you won or not. (I'm not sure why they're called game pieces, handing me something and then scanning it is hardly a "game".) But anyway the conversation went like this:

Me: (appraoching large crowd of people in American Express T-Shirts) What's this all about?
AmEx Dude: It's a free Sting concert in Grant Park, take a game piece and I'll tell you if you won.
Me: (resisting urge to debate if scanning a paper was really a "game") Uhh...okay.
AmEx Dude: (scans card) Sorry, not a winner.
Me: So that's it?
AmEx Dude: Are you a Sting fan?
Me: Yeah he's pretty cool. I mean I'm not die hard, but hey, free concert woulda been cool.
AE D: (takes out large stack of "game" pieces) I gotta winner in here somewhere.... (scans several cards) Here's one! (hands me winning game piece) Just take that over to the guy over there and he'll get you your tickets.

Needless to say I proceeded to ask the game piece dude and the ticket guy "What's the catch???" But aside from having to give them my name and address - which will most likely ensure my receipt of AmEx junk mail for the rest of my life that I'm already inundated with anyway - there really were no strings attached and I walked out with Sting tickets and my dad and I got to go to a really cool show! And for those of you Non-Sting fans out there I have another really cool Free story. I went to see the movie Elf the other night with Tony and his family and while we were in line buying tickets a woman approached me with an invitation to a free movie screening. It was for the new Ben Affleck movie Jersey Girl and they were recruiting a test audience to view it with the editors before its release. Now I'm not really a B. Fleck fan but again it was one of those hey, it's free! moments and I figured even if it sucked big time, I wasn't paying to see it. So Tony and I showed up to watch it Monday night but I guess they overbooked the number of invitations and as we were waiting in line the managers gave us coupons for a free admission to any other show playing at the theater that night! We went to see Master and Commander instead (and although it wasn't the greatest movie, based on what I heard of Gigli, I think it's safe to assume that it was better than Jersey Girl). So yeah, free stuff is cool.

Hopefully that's enough randsanity for you all. Sorry that I've been slacking on the e-mails and even more so sorry for slacking on the shoutouts. I lost my address book so if everyone could send me a quick reply with your name, address, phone number and birthday that would be super spiffy.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Ransanityfully Yours,

lisa :)

Thursday, October 09, 2003

LoL#41: Children's Literature

Most of you know that my favorite author is R.A. Salvatore and as much as I am anticipating his most recent novel due out sometime this month, I have to stop and remember a time when I was much more a fan of mystery novels than of fantasy. With the example set by Nancy Drew, Cam Jensen and even the Sweet Valley Twins, part of me wanted to be Lisa B: Detective of Mill Street School. Actually my favorite series of cheesy childhood mystery novels was the Encyclopedia Brown series. Hopefully I'm not the only one who remembers those. [For those who missed out, he was this super smart kid that used his knowledge of random facts to solve your typical neighboorhood dilemna] Anyhoo, I think as a tribute to my favorite fictional childhood genius I'm going to write my own EB mystery: "Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Missing Jiggabuns". I'm predicting that it'll hit the NY Times Best Seller list within a week of release.

Then again, my schedule and writing talents may limit me from persuing fame a la J.K. Rowling, but seriously, what ever happened to Jiggabuns? If at this point in this message you're writing me off as "on drugs" or just plain delusional, let me fill you in on a brief history. Jiggabuns is a letter. At least, it's trying to be a letter. See, there's a group of students at the U of I that decided that they wanted to add a new letter to the alphabet. This letter, called jiggabuns, would be inserted into the alphabet beween J and K. I can't show you what it looks like cause there's obviously no jiggabuns on my keyboard. The basic use of this letter - pronounced with the sound jigga - is that when placed in front of an existing word or name it indicates emphasis or coolness (i.e. "That's jiggalicious","Jiggawhat?", "Jiggayikes", and "Jiggajason and Jiggajessica got jiggamarried in Jiggajuly"). Although it sounds like something I would be loony enough to be involved in, I actually have no direct affiliations with the students who invented Jiggbuns, but nevertheless I think the whole thing is hilarious. I first heard about the whole "Jiggabuns Foundation" in the fall of 2001 and for a while it seemed that everything was jiggathis or jiggathat, but there was then a steady decline in the jiggause of this great new letter which prompted me on to stop and consider the ultimate question "Whatever happened to the Jiggabuns"? I can only hope that the plight to add Jiggabuns to the English language is still running strong and hey, maybe even some of you outside of U of I will now try to spread the knowledge of this future eleventh letter of the alphabet. Until then I think I'll just take my "Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Missing Jiggabuns" idea and send it to ABC with hopes that it will be made into an after school special starring Candace Cameron, Jonathan Brandis, and Pauly Shore.

And now my true curiousity has prompted me to actually do a Google search on "Jiggabuns" and it seems that the Jiggabuns Foundation at U of I is actually doing quite well these days. Perhaps this is a fitting end to my mystery novel and I can move on to secondary cases such as whatever happened to Candace Cameron, Jonathan Brandis and Pauly Shore? Actually I think it's safe to assume that nobody REALLY cares what happened to them so I can feel free to move on to more important news. News like how awesome the Cubs are doing!!!! Actually what's even cooler news than the Cubs (hard to believe there is such an announcement) but get this.....DRUMROLL oldest sister Anne is pregnant!!! Isn't that the jiggacoolest??? This'll be my sister and brother-in-law's first kid but my parents second grandchild (you may recall hearing about my brother and sister-in-law's daughter Ashley, she's eighteen months old and if you're confused at this point just keep in mind that the B clan really is quite massive). But anyhoo when my sister and brother-in-law made the annoucement I was flashing back to when my neice was being born and they didn't know if they were having a boy or a girl so the rest of us were all sitting in the waiting area taking bets on baby gender and time of birth. It was funny cause I remember someone (I can't remember who but I guess it's better to spare them the embarrasment) asking me "Do you want to be an aunt or uncle?" - they meant to ask if I would rather have a neice or nephew! But it was really funny too cause we were all so hyper and excited that I think before I even corrected the question I responded "Either one's fine with me!". Needless to say I am now super excited about being an AUNT again and all prayers for a safe pregnancy and healthy baby are much appreciated!

Well, I suppose this has been more than enough jiggaloopiness for now! I will be in Champaign for Homecoming weekend (Oct. 24-26th) so if anyone wants to make plans - or come to the game with us!!! - that's super jiggalicious!

Encyclopedia Jiggabrownfully Yours,

auntie lisa :)

p.s. This message is brought to you by the number Dew and the letters "Jiggabuns" and "Deck Stain"!!!
p.p.s. Happy Birthday to the super spiffy Heather M and every other cool person with an October birthday that I'm forgetting right now!!

Friday, September 19, 2003

LoL#40: Avast Ye LoL-readers!


I don't be havin much time to say as much as I'd like, but I was needin to let all you scurrvy dawgs know that today be a very special holiday! Shiver me timbers! September 19th be Talk Like A Pirate Day!!!

As a special Talk Like A Pirate Day treat I give you Pirate Riddles from the amazing Captain No Beard:

QUESTIONS (answers below):

10. Why couldn’t the little pirate get into the pirate movie?

9. What is a pirate’s least favorite physical condition?

8. What former LA Lakers star was the pirates’ all-time favorite?

7. Of the ghosts that appear to Ebenezer Scrooge in "A Christmas Carol," which do pirates prefer?

6. How does a pirate quit smoking?

5. Which Star Wars character do pirates love?

4. Where do pirates store their gym clothes?

3. Where is the favorite destination for pirates to dock their ships?

2. Which young pirate enjoyed skipping his classes all of the time?

1. Where on a ship can you find the place where pirates use the restroom?


10. The film was rated ARRRR!

9. A sunken chest.

8. Kareem Abdul-JabARRRR.

7. Jacob MARRRley.

6. He uses the patch.

5. ARRR-2D2

4. In Davey Jones’ locker.

3. ARRRgentina

2. Captain Hooky

1. The poop deck.

Piratefully Yours,

The Dread Pirate Brody :)

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

LoL#39: 525,600 minutes...

So for those of you that have seen or are at least familiar with the musical Rent, you recognize the subject line as part of the song "Seasons of Love" which for those of you that don't know it goes like this: "Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes, five hundred twenty five thousand moments so dear. Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes - how do you measure, measure a year?"

And the whole reason I bring it up (besides having no other decent way to start this e-mail) is that another year has gone by and tomorrow I'm turning 23!! Now I'm sort of past the point of being overly hyper and excited about the whole cake and ice cream shindig but there is a type of reflective mentality that I always find myself in this time of year - a sort of looking back at what I've done in the past 365 days, wondering how much is the same/different from a year ago (dang! my life got a lot better!!), and also thinking ahead to where I might see myself after another 525,600 minutes go by.

So here we have Lisa's Random Summary of her life as a 22 year old (keep in mind all these answers are Sept 2002-2003 only):

Greatet Carreer Accomplishment: Finally feeling like I know what I'm doing at work
Worst Carreer Accomplishment: Still not knowing what exactly I'm doing with my life
Most Mis-Aimed Goal: Thinking that I should go to Med School
Craziest Self-Torture to head toward said goal: The MCAT
Ongoing Addiction: Caffeine!!!!
Times Tried to Cut Caffeine Addiction: 9
Times Failed at Cutting Caffeine Addiction: 9
Most Caffeine Consumed in One Day: My record this year was 168 ounces in 20 hours (coffee, Mt Dew, D.Coke)
Spats of Insmnia Due to Excessive Caffiene in Diet: Too many to count
Dentist Visits: 2
Dentist Visits For Massively Painful Oral Surgery: 1
Good Habit Enacted: Flossing
Bad Habit Eliminated: Hating the way I look
Best Movie Seen: This one's tough......Finding Nemo? Pirates of the Carribbean? Oh wait...Hands down it's Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers!!
Worst Movie Seen: I'm gonna go with League of Extraordinary Gentlemen just because I was expecting it to be way cool and it SUCKED (...but it was a fun movie going experience....)
Cool New TV shows hooked on last season: 6
Number of those shows renewed for another season: 1
Best Concert: Billy Joel & Elton John (yeah, it's amazing but the best concert of the year was one I went to with my parents!!!)
Best Road Trip: IGNITE!!!
Best Family Vacation: Fourth of July in Michigan
Best Trip to Chambana: 3-way tie - Homecoming ; Entertainment Night ; Lauren's Birthday
Address Changes: 1
Number of friends bribed with free lunch to help me move: 2
Number of friends who would've helped without the lunch: 2
Bad Break-ups: 1
Months vowed to stay single after said break up: 7
Months actually was single before asked to date man of my dreams: 8 :)
Times I cried over a boy: 5 (...but two were actually tears of joy)
Weddings invited to: 7
Weddings able to attend: 4
Best wedding experience: Being Jacklyn's Maid of Honor (...she wasn't supposed to see that wink!)
Number of times rumors started that I was engaged: 5
Number of times annoyingly corrected rumor: 5
Clutziest move of the year: I was gonna say cutting my finger open on a plastic tape dispenser, but I suppose my Statue diving in Louisville tops that...
Wildest move of the year: Getting my belly button pierced
Times I said I was growing my hair out: 3
Times I got hair cut after swearing to grow it out: 3
Most Embarrassing moment: "Jackson..." (If you heard the story, you know what that means ; if not, I ain't telling!!!)
Number of baseball games attended: 3
Number of Cubs games watched on TV: A LOT - I don't know a number but it's more this year than in the past 22 years of my life combined (haven't watched this much baseball since the Twins won the World Series when I was 7!)
Best Hangout Places Discovered: In the burbs - Gameworks ; In Chambana - Cowboy Monkey
Favorite People to Hang there (or anywhere!) with: ALL OF YOU!!!!

So I could go on, but this seems like a pretty decent place to stop. But yeah, it's been a crazy and random year. 525,600 minutes. So long and yet every moment is so precious and so unique. To finish off the song I started: "How do you measure a year? In daylights? in sunsets? in midnights? or cups of coffee? In inches? in miles? in laughter? or strife? In five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes, how do you measure a life? How about love... measure in love. Seasons of love." And perhaps that is in fact the best way to look back at every year of life and the best way to look forward at every coming new one - to look at, look back on, and look forward to how much and how many we are loved by and love.

525,600 Minutesfully Yours,

lisa :)

p.s. I also have to give supreme shoutouts to those super spiffy people that also have September as their birthday month so Super Kudos to Laura G and Matt M!!

p.p.s. Great quotes that somehow didn't find a place in this e-mail:
"Live to love and you will love to live."
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."
"You want the main purpose of my Oh wait, that kinda makes me sound like a weirdo hippy chick...."

Thursday, August 21, 2003

LoL#38: Lisa Baker & The Order of the Pheonix


Did you ever realize that everything matters to you when you're a kid? You can tell a class of fourth graders about the benefits of recycling and they'll all swear to never again throw a soda can in the trash but if you explain the same issue to high schoolers, they'll tell you that sometimes it's too inconvenient to hunt out a recylcing bin. Or when a nine year old discovers a dead bird on the sidewalk coming home from school. They'll usually either ponder some type of rescue effort, back away in horror, or with tearful eyes share the grisly scene with an adult. Same person a decade later might just as easily step over the carcass without a second thought or even kick it to the side so noone else treads on it. Kids are usually really good at being peacemakers too. They'll beg adults not to argue - wanting things to be right with the world and desiring happiness for everyone - only to grow up and find that they can wound and be wounded by words every single day. And children take joy in the smallest things too. Not only does everyone know what it's like to feel like "a little kid at Chrismas", but have you ever watched children on a playground? Those playing on the swingsets are sure that they have the ability to fly and even something as simple as blowing the fluff off of spring's first dandelions seems to be the most magical task in the universe.

I guess what I'm getting at is that there's a certain level of ideality, innocence, and sensitivity that we have as kids that this whole growing up process forces out of us. Now I'm not headed for nostalgia here. In fact, I think nostalgia may perhaps be one of the most fruitless emotions - truly it is a shame to miss out on the present or the future cause you're too busy longing for the past. But I guess lately there's a part of me that hopes I still possess a childlike heart. (And I'm not talking about being an optimist either. I know I've got that one down. In fact it could even be argued that I'm optimistic to a fault.....not that that's necessarily a bad thing....)

What I'm really trying to say is that I hope my life is always marked by taking joy in the good times and grieving in the sad times as well as a full experience and expression of everything in between. I'm not just saying this to give myself permission to be moody. See, I was culturing a tumor sample at work last week. The cells are actually growing too which means that our lab will have a new cell line to do research with. I knew when I took over the culture that it was a sample from a patient at Children's Memorial Hospital, but somehow the reality of what I was dealing with didn't quite sink in. Today though I learned the details. See, there's a four year old boy with tumors on his spinal cord. They operated on them last week and sent our lab a sample. But the tumors are spreading rapidly and actually growing toward the boy's spinal column. This means that he will most likely be paralyzed by five and will be considered a miracle if he sees the age of six.

Yeah. "Lisa On Life" is not always smiles, sunshine and funny stories, but truthfully, I wouldn't have it any other way. I've decided too that this is why I can't become a doctor. I want to live a life where children dying of cancer breaks my heart. I think things like this SHOULD make me want to cry. I don't want to have to build up the type of emotional immunity where "after a while you get used to it" because "you can't let it bother you". And I want the emotions that I hold onto to fuel my passion for the work that I do and I want to find hope in the fact that someday there might be a cure and I even want to remain idealistic enough to believe that what I do today might even further that cause.

Now I'm sure at this point a few of you are very curious about the subject line of this e-mail but whether you're a Harry Potter fan or not, you might be familiar with the legend of the Pheonix. According to various lores and traditions, the Pheonix is a great bird that at the end of it's lifespan is engulfed in flames and once burned, rises again from it's own ashes. It sort of goes along with the whole point of #37 too that my life is rather circular these days, but even more so, I guess I want to live with a Pheonix-like heart. Pain and hurt and stress are always going to come - there is certainly plenty of evil in this world to engulf anyone's heart in extreme ache - but I want to always rise again and return to the hope that there is good in the world too. What it comes down too is that whether good or bad, I want to feel things in life. I'm reminded of the scene in Braveheart - and forgive me for not knowing the exact line and quote - where Robert da Bruce (brilliantly portrayed by Angus McFadyen) exclaims to his father "I don't want to lose heart!".

Anyhoo, I'm rambling and I really have to get back to work. Some of you, I know, will consider this the most introspective and inspiring LoL I've written. Others will delete it quickly because there's no hint of amusement to be found in it's overly lengthy content. To me, it's just some stuff I wanted to say.

Pheonixfully Yours,

lisa :)

p.s. Side note too is that this is also the first LoL that I've written directly all at once. Usually I'll start to compose and then hold it in my drafts box, editing here and there throughout the week. This time no drafts, no edits, just me being me. Forgive any and all tpyos. ;)

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

LoL#37: Circles, Surreality, Wal-Mart, & Circles

All my life's a circle. Surise and sundown - the moon rolls through the nighttime til the daybreak comes around. All my life's a circle still I can't tell you why the season's spinning round again, the years keep rolling by.
It seems like I've been here before, I can't remember when. And I've got this funny feeling that I'll be back once again. No straight lines make up my life and all my roads have bends, there's no clear cut beginnings and so far no dead ends.
I've met you a thousand times, I guess you've done the same, but then we lose each other - it's just like a children's game. But as I find you here again, the thought runs through my mind, life's just like a circle - let's go around one more time.
All my life's a circle. Sunrise and sundown - the moon rolls through the nighttime til the daybreak comes around. All my life's a circle still I can't tell you why the season's spinning round again, the years keep rolling by.

So in pondering how to start this craziest of crazy August LoL's I scoured my memory bank and came up with that. Brilliant and beautiful, ain't it?? I wish I could say that I wrote it but it's actually a song called "Circles" by Harry Chapin. A few of you coolest of cool people (Emily, Lauren & maybe Kristin?) will recognize it as the traditional end of the year NNHS choir concert song. But even without the music, it's a really pretty song/poem that makes a good point about the coolness yet oddly familiar state of my life right now.

Plus, for those of you that have been with my psychoses from the begining, you'll realize that as of next Monday I'll have been at my job for a full year which also means that this marks almost a full year of the LoL/Life of Lisa/Lisa on Life e-mail list! Woohoo! Now if you're looking at the fact that this is only #37 and realizing that a full year would technically be 52, you have to remember that as of this summer - and for most of winter - it's been a monthly and not a weekly thing. Also, I know with fall approaching some of you have graduated and gone on to bigger and better things (jobs, grad schools, etc) but if you have a new e-mail address let me know otherwise when all my messages bounce back to me I'll just figure that you've taken the change of address time as a chance to release yourself from my mindless ramblings.

Anyhoo, amidst the insanity that was my last e-mail some of you gleaned the the real truth to why I said my life was so surreal. And it still is, but now there's a bit more reality to things - no dream lasts this long, I MUST be awake. ;) Maybe I should have come right out and said something of what all is up with me, but I guess by now the word's getting spread fast enough that half of you will call this revelation "old news" while the other half will be spared from feeling like you're "the last to know".

But yeah, remember when I said some things never change? Well, it's true. See, day has always given way to night. Road construction has always been done at the most inconvenient times and places. Alternative rock has always been a genre dominated by groups of posers insisting that they're not a group of posers. Having to park far from the door has always meant that you get better deals at Wal-Mart. The Cubs have always been cooler than the White Sox. And I've pretty much always thought that Tony G is the spiffiest guy I know. Yeah, it is a bit bold of me to say that, but as spiffy as he is as my friend, brother, and Spanish teacher, he's now also my boyfriend. :) (Surreal, ain't it???) Yes, I know plenty of you have "seen this coming" since as early as the fall of '99 but let's just say the best things come to those who wait.

Like I said before though, it's not the type of thing that I want to sound boastful about nor do I want to seem fickle for dating someone after authoring the top ten list of "Why a Gameboy is Better than a Boyfriend" so to avoid all sappy girly girl comments (and for the sake of avoiding the discussion that my new title should be Super Smiley Girl) I'm going to skip right to the shoutouts. First off to the super spiffy 7ackie - and no that's not a typo, it's a 7 not a J, let's hang out sometime!!! - and again I totally forgot when your birthday is/was. My apologies too for majorly screwing people over on birthday shoutouts. I was really organized for a while there, but then I just lost it. Plus, I remember birthdays for really odd reasons - like if they're close in date to one of my family members or a holiday - but most of the time I suck at remembering. Basically if anyone didn't get a shoutout, drop me an e-mail and let me know NOW when your b-day is and you'll be guaranteed a shoutout next year. And a shoutout to Lauren too just in case I don't get another LoL out before your b-day on the 27th (even though you accused me of not giving you a shoutout last year, when I did!!!!) - just kidding L-dawg! Oh and a shoutout to Mr. and Mrs. Derek and Jacklyn B!!!!! Woohoo!! You two bring the number of married people on this list up to a grand total of five! And also a most random of random shoutouts to Cowboy Monkey! (...which is actually a place and not a person but I really just wanted the chance to say Cowboy Monkey in an LoL).

Wow. That's a lot of shoutouts. Anyhoo, for a random change of subject let me just give you my quick little two cents about Wal-Mart. Ever since the Route 59 store was built I've been a fan of Wal-Mart. Now in terms of finding cool stuff that you don't really need, I'm gonna have to say that Target (or Tar - jhey) is totally my kind of store. And if you're talking about the 3am let's go be slap happily silly trips you really can't beat Meijer (aka Meee - jer). But still I find myself undeniably recruited to be a fan of Wal-Mart (or if you prefer Wal-Market, Wally, Wally-World, or just Walls). First off their stuff is just cheap. And I'm talking necessity type stuff. Contact solution, shampoo, toothpaste, Lord of the Rings action figures..... Okay so that last one snuck itself onto the list... but seriously, it's one of few stores in town that not only sells them but sells them for pretty cheap. (And, yes, I know it makes me a big nerd but those of you that have seen my room can vouch for the fact that it's sort of my new collecting hobby). Anyhoo, it all started when Emily got me Saruman for Christmas last year because then in January I found Gandalf, and Frodo followed soon after, and then my mom bought me Pippin, and Samwise....and well, the collection was doing great except for the fact that I could never find my most favoritest character of all - Legolas! So yeah, to make a long story short (TOO LATE!), I was at The Walls last week and the place was packed so I ended up parking something like a half mile from the door but as I made my way around the store looking at everything and anything - I actually found the Helm's Deep Legolas action figure!!! The last one they had left! My sisters have always had the rule that the farther you have to park from the door, the better will be the deals that you find so I guess in this case it was true.

Man, that turned out to be a really lame story. Uhhhh......riiiiiiight. But, hey, Legolas is cool and Two Towers will be out on video soon and then Return of the King will be out in four months and probably a good third of you really couldn't care less! Yeah. So did you like how I said I was at "The Walls"? I did that just for the point of bringing up the ultimately Chicagoan phrase of "The Jewel". You know the grocery store Jewel? Or better yet, Jewel-Osco? For some reason in Chicago it's perfectly normal to refer to it as "The Jewel". I mean, what's up with that? "THE Jewel" - like there's only one??? Yet somehow for Chicago and Chi-town suburbia "The Jewel" is perfectly accepted regardless of the fact that there could easily be three of them within a half mile of your current location! Actually for real Chicagoans it's technically "Da Jewel", but that's another story!

So yeah, "The Jewel" annoys me which is actually funny because after realizing how annoying it is, I realize how often people actually say it. Stick with Wal-Mart though, it'll never do you wrong.... Especially when they have cool Legolas action figures... Ever since I read the first book I thought Legolas was cool and some things never change... And no I didn't just buy it cause Orlando Bloom is cute, it doesn't even look that much like him and besides I've got a cutie in my life now that's not an action figure. ;) And I know that's cheesy but let's just say this relationship's been predicted since even before I knew what the Rober H. Lurie Comprehensive Cancer Center was... Which was even before I wrote "LoL #1: It Starts..." Which as you can see brings me all the way back to the start of this e-mail which was very appropriately Harry Chapin's words: "all my life's a circle..."

Circlefully Yours Circlefully,

lisa :)

p.s. Circlefully is really fun to say..... circlefully circlefully circlefully......

Thursday, July 24, 2003

LoL #36: Desert of the Surreal

Remember that really dramatic scene in the first Matrix movie where Morpheus is explaining what the Matrix is to Neo and the whole scene spins with the really dramatic music leading up to Lawrence Fishburne's oh so cool delivery of the line "Welcome to the Desert of the Real."? That was cool wasn't it??

Well, the reason I mention it is because lately I think I've been welcomed to the "Desert of the Surreal". Now I'm not talking surreal like Dali's melting clock paintings or my life is a Tori Amos video or even surreal like some postmodern "what if we're all just brains in jars on a desk somewhere and broccoli can feel pain" philosophy. This is more the surreal in the sense of things in life coming together so fantabulously that I'm in the pinch me so I know this isn't a dream stage of having no actual words to describe life such that the only audible description of the present is a very Keanu Reeves style exclamation of:


Ever have one of THOSE days/weeks/months/lives?? A lot of you know what this is about, if you don't, you'll find out eventually. I would spell everything out but first off that's no fun and secondly I run the risk of coming across as either boastful or fickle and desire to be niether. Needless to say, it's not about med school. In fact I've pretty much decided that I'm not even going. (See, don't I seem fickle??) It's not a bad thing though. I'm a little glad to actually look at the next decade of my life and say, hey, I'm actually gonna HAVE a life! Right now I'm thinking that I'll end up as a nurse or a teacher (more likely the latter but the former is intriguing me right now). I guess I've always been the indecisive one, but some things, believe it or not, are constants. One of those is my middle name (Joy) which my life has always been filled with but is sometimes - like now - overflowing with. I've come to realize that it's only when I convince myself that something right is wrong that I run away from what I should pursue or pursue that which I should flee (or that which should be pursuing me).

That probably makes little to no sense. Which is about right. Sometimes the only sense you can get out of life is a sense of humor. Which may explain why I can't stop smiling. I know all thanks goes to God, but I can't help but give a little credit to the Chicago Cubs, Harry Potter, and of course, Adrien Brody.

Alright now I'm going from the bizzare to the ultimately obscure. Words words words, so many of them yet saying nothing. Then again this is the Desert of the Surreal (even though "desert" doesn't quite seem the right noun for this place...). While I'm off in Tangent World and since Adrien Brody got his second LoL mention, I may as well keep up the craziness. In the tradition of Celebrity Death Match imaginary matchups -

Who would win: Adrien Brody, Kerry Wood, or Kid Rock?? (And if you're not hip to pop culture these days, Mr. Brody is the actor who won an Oscar for The Pianist ; Mr. Wood is one of the coolest pitchers in baseball - he plays for the Cubbies ; and Mr. Rock (?) is a guy who thinnks he's much cooler - and younger - than he is and is caught somewhere in between music genres of heavy metal, rap, punk, and country) My first call in this odd matchup would be to give the whole thing to Kerry Wood based sheerly on athletic ability. This could be a mistake though because as witnessed with his Halle Berry kissing Oscar acceptence we all know that Adrien Brody is in fact the spontaneous and unpredictable competitor. Plus we have to account for the general creepiness factor carried into the match by Kid Rock, seeing as how creepiness could serve a distinct psychological advantage, especially in a three way competition. Now if in fact we were to make this some sort of intellectual challenge, I'd eliminate Brody right away based on the complete stupidity of aforementioned Halle Berry kissing (hello! she was neither asking for NOR expecting that, and isn't she MARRIED???). Which brings it down to Kerry and Kid... My first inclination is to give this one to Kid Rock. After all he was the one who came up with the lyrical genius of "Ba wit da ba da bang da bang biggie biggie says da biggie says up jump the boogie". Uhhh...yeah with that said, Kerry Wood. Hands down.

Anyhoo, I think I've ventured away from reality for long enough.

Surreally Yours,

lisa :)

p.s. Este "shouto-outo" es por Antonio porque el es mi profesor nuevo de espanol (y spanglish). Y este mensaje en todo es sobre el. :)

Thursday, July 10, 2003

LoL #35: A Eulogy for Creativity

Friends, it is with great blankness and an empty mind that I possibly regret to inform you all that my creativity has ceased to exist. I cannot for sure place an exact date or time to the departure of the creative random psychoses that has given rise to such great debates as "Cooler miniscule sidekicks: Ewoks or Oompa Loompas?" and "Who would win in a fight: Ian McKellan as Gandalf or Ian McKellan as Magneto?" but I find that my creative inspirations have waned. Long gone are the days when I could weekly greet you all with a description of my typical day through the perspective of my sense of smell and no more can I conceive of such gems of uniqueness such as interviewing myself as a late night talk show host.

Someone once said that there are no new ideas in the world anymore - that every so-called unique concept is, in essence, an old idea simply clothed in a new format. If this year's summer movie lineup is not evidence of the truth to that statement, perhaps then, the mere fact that I am quoting some anonymous person who said it makes it some type of self-validating factoid of truth. I know that some of you reading this will be eager to bring up my use of such phrases as "self-validating factoid of truth" as defense of my lingering creativity. You may desire to suggest that my creativity is more akin to a missing person than to a dearly departed. I admire these sentiments with all of the optimism a stoic can muster but I am compelled to explain to you that I have nothing to say.

But let us not view this as a sad point.

Instead, let us remember together that the very foundations on which the LoL's were conceived is the principle that I have never had anything of importance to say and yet have refused to adhere to the age old addage of "If you don't have anything to say, keep your mouth shut". (In my defense too, I must point out that in truth, my mouth is shut and it is only my fingers on a keyboard that have released my insanity to you). Even now, as I approach what may be debated as the fourth or fifth paragraph of this e-mail I am gladdened by the fact that I have said close to nothing in the most creative way possible. The spirit of creativity does indeed live on regardless of the fact that any suitable topic for my rambling eludes me.

One might suggest that the topic of my rambling should be myself. You may be asking yourself: Self, what has been going on in the crazy life of Lisa B lately? But there comes a point where I just flat out tire of talking all about me. Besides, my life -or lack there of- is boring. Seriously. Not that I don't love it (Movie quote du jour: "I love being me. Ask anyone!") but let's take a quick peak at the highlights of the last week of my life: Monday - started working on a double plasmid SPARC transfection with a tet on/off system ; Tuesday - hectic work day, went wallclimbing to blow off steam and excercise ; Wednesday - went to the Taste of Chicago, spent the evening wandering Chi-town and eating yummy food (CHEESECAKE!!!), went to a late show of Terminator 3 and got in free cause of spiffy manager friends from Cantera ; Thursday - got my MCAT results, got over subsequent self-loathing and disappointment, realized that I was being too hard on myself but spent most of the evening rethinking the plans of my life, stayed up waaaaaay too late hanging with spiffy people and watching Alien Resurrection on USA, packed to go to Michigan, planned to take hour nap before leaving at 5 am for MI ; Friday - recieved call from mom at 3:30 just as I was heading to bed that we were leaving at 4 instead of 5 , stayed up entire car trip talking to parents, arrived in Michigan sleep deprived yet hyperily caffinated, hung out with spiffy cousins ; Saturday - more hanging with spiffy cousins, swimming boating, reading, relaxing ; Sunday - same as Saturday plus sunburn ; Monday - headed back from Michigan, unpacked, chilled out ; Tuesday - back to trying to understand the complexities of tet on/off systems and their applications in double transfection experiments.

See what I mean? I have no life. I have nothing to ramble about! I have nothing to be creatively funny about!! I have absolutely nothing to say!!


lisa :)

p.s. Where inspiration ends, satire begins.

p.p.s. SHOUTOUT TIME!!!! First off big Happy Birthday Shoutouts to Emily H, Beth T, and Agnes Z who in the month of July will be turning 23, 24, and 25 respectively. Also a shoutout to Jason and Jessica Jigga-M! Sorry I missed the wedding but love and congratualtions to you both!! Next, I don't want to take away the right to spread her own news too so a shoutout to a super spiffy friend that recently got engaged - yeah, you know who you are - love ya lots, girl!! And even though I still say you've had too many shoutouts of your own lately I also said that anyone who asks for a shoutout will get one - my last very special shoutout is for Adrien Brody (and no, the REAL Mr. Brody isn't on my list, but he makes someone happy who is on this list and I needed to prove that I'm really not the Shoutout Nazi!).

p.p.p.s. For anyone who knows why it's hilariously cool and funny during one breakfast in Michigan, Jenny and Beth were quoting Eddie Izzard: "Cake or Death??" "Uhhh...Cake please!" "Cake or death??" "Cake please!" "HAHHA We're out of cake!!" "So you mean my only choice is 'OR DEATH?'??" hee hee funny stuff :)

Thursday, June 19, 2003

LoL #34.5: As Staind would say....

It's a song by Staind.
Not Nickleback.
I just like Chad Kroger and tend to attribute cool songs to him.

Blame the fact that I'm subject to crap music at work. Or just say that it's lack of sleep meets excess sugar. Or just write it off to me and the rest of my psychoses. Either way safer bets now could be as early as mid July instead of Late August.

lisa :)

p.s. no clue? read 34.

LoL #34: As Nickelback would say...

In the immortal words of Nickleback "It's been a while....." since I've sent an LoL. And actually in all fairness to Chad Kroger and the boys I should quote them as saying "Tsbeenawhile" because I don't even know if they're aware that there should be four words there.

Anyhoo, some of you have been bugging me about what the deal is with the lack of LoL's lately so here's number 34 with extreme apologies for its delay to those of you that missed me and with extreme apologies for its arrival to those of you that were thankful for the dealy in my quasi-weekly annoyance.

I'm sure y'all want to know what's new with me I can't say that too much has been going on (moving, painting, bridal showering...). I did realize though that this is the first year of my life (that I can consciously remember) that I don't have a summer break. It's kinda stressin' me too so y'all can bet on me completely cracking sometime late August (take your bets now - will she break before or after recieving her MCAT scores????). Not to say that I don't have some vacation days with plans to take more than a couple three day weekends, (4th of July Michigan trip, Minnesota the week after, and Wisconsin in early August!) but I'm talking none of this month or more time off, summer job, free Cantera movies, chillaxin at the beach, cool summer stylin time. And you know what? It sucks!

No just kidding. Welcome to the real world (...she said to me ...condescendingly....). It's certainly tolerable. And it occurred to me the other day that what I need to most appreciate about my job (besides the paychecks which are now devoted mostly to living expenses) are the things that make it unique. Consider this a crash course in how not to hate one's job but basically it came down to asking myself, what is it about where I'm at and what I'm doing that I can't experience elsewhere? The list I came up with was 1) the people ; 2) the training ; 3) the impact I can have ; and 4) Chicago. Now for those of you looking over my list and singing the Sesame Street classic "One of these things is not like the others..." let me explain. Obvioulsy the people I work with, what I'm learning, and the progress of our research are all unique to Northwestern but as for number four I realized how cool it is to be in the most spiffy city of Chicago day after day. Especially in the spring. We started a lab techie tradition too of eating lunch outside on the really nice days. Sometimes we check out cool local restaurants (Italian, Japanese, Thai, and Cajun so far...) but sometimes we just eat our sack lunches quickly and then go wander around. There's something way cool about sitting on the lakefront, hiking around Navy Pier, or window shopping the Magnificent Mile that provides just enough of an hour long break from PCR, tissue culture, and measuring mouse tumors to convince me that it actually is summer.

And there's always Sno-cones too. Sno-Cones just scream summer. Which is why last summer I purchased a Sno-Cone maker (Target clearance sale - Yeah baby!). So now anyone who comes to visit Karrie and I (hint, hint, y'all wanna come see us!!!) can have a free Sno-Cone! And if Icy-Sugary delicacies are not your cup of tea you can have something warmer a cup of tea ...heh heh ...just kidding. Actually you can have a capuccino cause my sister Anne bought me a Cappucino macine at a garage sale as a housewarming gift and I actually figured out how to work the thing! (Now I'm gonna open up my own Coffee and Sno-Cone shop... with the ultimate goal of world domination of course.)

Speaking of summer yummies too, we got free ice cream sundaes at work today. It's this whole Staff Appreciation thing where they give us free food now and then but there might be something to the theory of pumping us full of sugar to increase rates of productivity. And to wrap things up I guess "This is how you remind me" about being productive, cause I gotta get back to work! Hope all is going great with y'all!

Chad Krogerfully Yours,

lisa :)

p.s. Just in case any of y'all are clueless, Chad Kroger is the lead singer from the group Nickleback and "It's Been a While" and "This is How you Remind Me" were two of their hit songs.
p.p.s. There's also a brief John Mayer reference in this e-mail cause he rocks!
p.p.p.s. And a quick shoutout to Tony with Kudos for making the multiple "p" ps's cool again and cause he's the one who made fun of my usage of y'all which of course is the reason why I now use y'all every chance I get! ;p Y'all can blame him if y'all don't like all the y'alls I use in talkin to y'all!

Friday, April 25, 2003

LoL#31: MCAT

MCAT - it might stand for My Cranium's About ToExplode but most people say it means Medical College Admissions Test aka a most evil exam that I'm taking tomorrow.

I was riding the train home with my brother on Wednesday and I had my MCAT review book out trying to be diligently studious. My brother always the joker turns to me and asks "Why is it an M-Cat? Are there A through L Cats too?" I rolled my eyes with my typical groan reserved for David's puns. And he comes back with another question "Does an MCAT have an mlife?" to which I had to respond "Actually I think an MCAT would have 9 m-lives."

It was pretty funny, but then again when you're trying to furiously cram into your brain in a month everything you've learned (and forgotten) from the past four years there's a lot that's pretty amusing.

Like Karrie's neice comparing her newly accquired Strawberry Shortcake Doll to me. That's funny stuff. Short bright red hair and freckles.... I guess there's a resemblence. ;) She got the doll for Easter and I had just met her the day before. We all went to the Shedd Aquarium which was cool. I had never been there and they have a cool new coral reef and shark exhibit. It was way cool. The only thing I didn't really like was that they have Beluga whales there and I kind of ethically object to keeping whales in captivity.

Before I get too serious though, Karrie has a brother-in-law named Norman. We were talking about how it's one of those less common names and Karrie asked how his mom came up with "Norman" and he said he was named for his Uncle Earl.

Enough said.

Anyhoo, the test is tomorrow so I'm trying not to stress out but something about it being a test - no matter how much I realize that it doesn't REALLY matter - makes me a little anxious. I'm sure you'll all wnat to respond with "You'll do great!" but you don't have to because in all honesty that's kind of a load of crap unless you're psychic and can magically read my future score but I do thank you for the prayers and well wishes anyways. I'll do my best - cause that's all I can ever do - and it'll all be over soon.

And then there's rollerskating.

MCAT-fully Yours,

lisa :)

p.s. I don't know if this e-mail makes any sense but it's been a super crazy week so you can expect next week's LoL to be back to traditional silly spiffy lisa rambling style and probably length too.

Tuesday, April 22, 2003

LoL #33: First Sigs First

****************** (Private information removed)

First sigs first. Meaning let's put my "sig" file (aka the signature that's tagged to the end of all my e-mails) at the start of this message because *drum roll please* it contains my NEW address and home phone number!!!

And for anyone who's a little slow that means that I moved last weekend to the super spiffy ******* subdivision of The Ville!!! I've noticed too that there's an undocumented law about moving furniture that states that the weight of the furniture being moved is in direct proportion to the number of people that must comment on what the correct way to move the item is. (AKA: The heavier the object, the more people you get telling you how to move it.)

And now a shoutout now to the super awesome coordinator of U-Haul truck rental and my overall generally organized fellow "Summer"Girl housemate Karrie M. My second shoutout goes to the unrivaled coolness of Miss Lauren "I-make-awesome-mix-CD's-and-I'll-still-help-you-move-even-if-it's-at-8am-on-a-Saturday-and-why-in-the-world-did-I-tell-your-mom-I-prefer-sausage-to-bacon" J (and no that's not her real middle name). Third shoutout and the award for Most Likely To Never Call Me Again When He's In Town goes to Tony G who got "I'm Moving" and "Yes, PLEASE!!" as answers to the innocent phone call questions of "What's up?" and "Need a hand?". And since I'm on a role, a shoutout to The Quatratic Formula herself, Emily H with my extreme apologies for not emphasizing the*** Rd. part of the directions to the house!

And for a little more traditional flavor of shoutouts, Happy Birthdays to the Princesses of P-Ville Erika "Princess Wooka" A (last week) and Kristy "Batman" B (next week)! Karrie and I decided we have to cook you girls dinner some time this summer - Call us! And also a shoutout to U of I's Class of 2003! Congratulations to all! Let me know if y'all have new e-mail addresses or contact info or whatever!

(Oh and in case anyone's curious too this is LoL#33 but there was offially no LoL #32 because for some crack induced reason there were two #31's.)

Anyhoo, life's going pretty good these days. Work's been cool except that my boss is in Russia for three weeks so now all of the actual analytical THINKING parts of the experiments are solely up to me. It's a graduation of sorts in that I'm no longer a mindless lab monkey. :) Heh heh, just kidding I'm not a lab monkey it's just that normally I consult with the PhD types before embarking on my own design for a week long $1600 project. Yeah - now they tell me I'm "responsible". Scary word, ain't it? I still haven't heard back about the MCATs and probably won't for another month or so. Haven't thought any more about if med school is the right path for me either. I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. (Actually the phrase should be I'll CROSS that bridge, but burning bridges seems more appropriate for one as indecisive as I). Oddly enough too, I think this whole new house thing has given me a sense of stability that makes me realize "Hey, I may actually be HERE for a while" which is a pleasantly good thing (regardless of lack of parking at the train station; running toilets; the fact that every suburbanite guy I fall for takes up residence in some other part of the state/country/world; and the annoyance of devoting a massive portion of my monthly income to a little thing called rent).

On a totally unrelated note, combining the facts that the school year is technically over and we don't yet have internet hook up in the new place, there will most likely be a decrease in the frequency of the LoL's this summer. If anyone wants to be removed from the list or has an address change for the summer or for permanent, let me know.

Sig-fully Yours,

lisa :)

Tuesday, April 15, 2003

LoL#30: I found it!

I found it. (Yeah cue the jokes about "I lost it" a long time ago....) The "it" in question though is actually The Quote List!!!!!

Now the problem here is that most of you are going to have zero clue about what's to come, but basically last year I started jotting down on a little notepad on my closet door random and somewhat amusing quotes from random and somewhat amusing people. I have to warn you all now that the majority of them were uttered in late night sleep deprived stupors or in overly caffinated sugary situations (i.e. Lunch Bunch, Late Nite Coffeehouse, Perkins trips, etc). They're all insane so to save time I'm not going to give any explanations - sorry if this is all majorly psycho and you just don't get it. It all started with three funny e-mails in one day hence the first page was titled "E-mail Quotes of the Week" and the subsequent pages gained fame for their bizarre titles as well as content. I think I got them out of order too but order doesn't really matter. And one more disclaimer too, pardon in advance any offensive language and I still stand as emphatically as ever to my original thought that the "poohead" really was being a poohead, and I was not drunk. ;)

Anyhoo, my shoutout of the week goes to all of you extremely quoteworthy people out there whose funny comments were made in the absence of pen and paper and thus did not get listed.

Quotefully Yours,

lisa :)

p.s. I give you.......The Quote List:

*E-Mail Quotes of the Week*

"Girls are like clowns, both wear makeup and scare me." ~Nick C

"Computer labs are bizzare places. A bald Christian listening to electronica by a group named after a designer drug should be evidence enough" ~James L

"...the doors open on the 11th floor and there is someone waiting to get on, looking at me making this snarl face." ~Dave B

*More Quotes of the Week*

"Got the 2:45 Coke and looked under the cap...please play 'game again'...I said to myself...Is it really a game? I mean taking the top off a that a game?" ~Dave B

"It was like some sort of crazy Gap commercial..." ~Rob S, about the new Housing web page

"I'm comfortable with my own spit. Really, I am." ~Nick C

"I learn to live and I live to learn." ~Cindy B

*More and More and More Quotes of the Week*

"...and then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you..." ~Random AIM away message

"I wouldn't even want to meet him in a LIGHTED alley." ~Sara M

"You can't DRINK coffee." ~Derek B

"It deserved to be burped at." ~James L, about my computer

"Country is more considerate than porn." ~Sara M

*Even More Quotes of the Week*

"So there we were, sitting on the Orchard Downs bus TRYING to get to Lincoln Square Mall...." ~Lauren & Lisa, initiating the "So there we were..." game

"Oh no...Sonicflood looks like a boy band." ~James L

"I want to pet a goat." ~Jason C

"I love to pee." ~Sara M

"...well at least he's not on drugs." ~Cindy B

"I guess the whole point of food is to be gross." ~Stacey L

*Still More Quotes of the Week*

"I'd rather not guide who I become. I don't trust myself to do so wisely." ~James L

"Good Luck Costello" ~Dave B, about my interview with Abbot Labs

"oh hammer, I do believe I'll be there!" ~Nathan T, accepting an invitation to Lunch Bunch

"I've been marinated." ~Jigga Jason

"I felt like I had a cat sitting on me...a very fluffy cat too..." ~James L

*Revenge of the Quote List*

"I don't necessarily LIKE Osama bin Laden." ~Nick C

"Not so much...." ~Phrase of the day by Derek, Sara, Lisa, James, Tony and multiple other people at the I-life SnowBall

"If I married Kurt Kittner my initials would spell MAK..." ~Maria J

"You can't force 'baby'. 'Baby' just has to happen." ~lisa

"Did you just say 'Wungamai'?"
"Yeah, it's Japanese for 'baby'!" ~Sara & Derek

*The Quote List Strikes Back*

"You're a poohead and I'm not drunk." ~lisa

"Everytime I see an underscore I'll think of you." ~lisa to Tony

"I'm really glad he looked high." ~Cindy, about her ex

"Wow, your room exploded....I mean...even MORE than normal..." ~Cindy, about the disorderly state of my dorm room

"I haven't seen so many white people pissed off since OJ got acquitted!" ~Tony Guerrero, about the Survivor: Africa Reunion Show

*Planet of the Quote List*

"I have three classes in Lincoln on Monday Wednesday Friday! I'm such a freshman!" ~Kendra B, senior year

"I just kind of stood there. I'd just gotten hit in the head with a putter." ~Matt L

"Quad bus in the night...doo bee doo bee doo..." ~Lauren

"What's 'sundry'?"
"The day before Mondry." ~Derek & lisa

"But where do they get them really big cheeses?" ~Matt L pondering the origins of Jumbo Cheese Ravioli

*Quote List: The Choice of a New Generation*
(note: these all took place at a late night Perkin's study session involving stealing paper from each other and some relaly random tired conversation, nothing malicious intended, it was all funny at the time)

"Tony's a paper writing slut." ~lisa

"The pimp's the one passing out the goods...he is the goods." ~Sara, about Tony

"I just fell asleep in my hands." ~Derek

"We've secretly replaced this cow's leg with an artificial limb. Let's see if it'll notice..." ~lisa

"Too Much Information!!! You get the TMI award!"
"Just call me....TIMMY!!!" ~lisa & Tony

*The Neverending Quote List*

"What's that movie where like the whole world is water...."
"Uhhhh....Waterworld?!?" ~Karrie & Tony

"Use Real Drugs. Use Real Drugs. Use Real Drugs. Use Real Drugs." ~Derek, spoofing the "Use Real Sugar" packets at Perkins

"This random thought was brought to you by Mountain Dew and the letters 3 and 5." ~Sara

"You just thwarted a monkey, that makes you a chimp." ~Derek to Tony

*I Can't Believe it's Not Quote List*

"You ate your dolphin's fruity dude adopted cousin!" ~Emily H

"Yes! No! Shut up!" ~Karrie M, to Jason M not letting him get in a comment about watching too much TV

"Next time I enter their house I'm gonna wipe the dust off my sandals and just keep walking...Please don't quote me on that." ~Tony

"Stepped in a puddle puddle puddle puddle puddle..." ~Lauren J, from the Sock Opera starring Sean Connery

"The monkey is DEAD!!! The monkey's brain is not dead but THE MONKEY IS DEAD!!!" ~Brad P, Philosophy 105 TA

*Quotes I Have Been*

"Oh look it's a beef and cheese salad." ~Sean S

"They don't worship a dead man at K-Mart!" ~Nathan T

"My family is what happens when porn stars get saved." ~Anonymous illinilife member

"They didn't have the vanilla flavored ones!"
"I've had those but I don't remember what they taste like."
"They're....vanilla..." ~lisa & Emily discussing Peeps Eggs

*Son of Quote LIst*

"We're self proclaimed fashion queens of the stylishly modest!!" ~Lisa & Karrie

"Reverse is like forward only you're going backwards." ~Tony

"Food is good food."

"Can I be a library friend?" ~James

"And again I saw something meaningless under the sun." ~Verse from Ecclisiastes chosen as the unofficial replacement for the overused "Not so much..."

*A Brief History of Quote List*

"I'm a clown snob." ~Emily H

"A latte a day keeps the sandman away." ~lisa the insomniac

"Eat, Drink, and Throw gum at Michigan State fans." ~Laura G

"You could have seven kids and name them after the fruits of the spirit...Hi, I'm Self-Control, my parents didn't have any..." ~Erika A

Technically that's the end and I can't think of a much better way to finish this, but for those of you that went to IGNITE...I give you....

*Quotes Afire* (The unofficial Quote List compiled entirely at IGNITE)

"Cheerio!" ~Jess D & Bobbi, greeting people coming to breakfast while eating cheerios

"Who doesn't have accents? Horses..." ~lisa

"Our culture is just like those poopy waters." ~John H

"This is Brant in monkey form."
"Did you just say someone called Brant a monkey fart???" ~Karrie & Lisa

"Oh my gosh, that's really girly." ~Matt M, about Mary Kay hand lotions

"He's a tea hugger." ~Kristy B

"Could I get one of these for my monkey?" ~Jigga Jason, about the ignite name tags

"Scary potty" ~John H

"I do eat. I just excrete all the fat out my scalp." ~"Soup" Campbell

"Look the balloons multiplied. Caleb! That was his name! Caleb!!!" ~Karrie

"How you been Ben?"
"Been jammin." ~Kristy & Ben

"Hiny Hiders" ~Name of the locks on the Convention Center restroom stall doors

"Yoda's Ark." ~Jigga Jess D

"Bio Rock - the Ultimate in Educational Rock Music about Biology!" ~lisa

"Bread Butts!" ~Kristy & Jess

"Have a ro-tic. You take the 'man' out of romantic!" ~Peggy D

"You can order spaghetti with browned butt..." ~Kristy

"I haven't been this young since I was sixteen." ~Igor K

"I never was a teenage girl." ~Ty G

"I hit my right hip and my left knee."
"We could get a magic bullet theory for that one." ~lisa & Igor

"The last one in the series is Sex on Tape - TAP! Sex on Tap...." ~Steve Bush, about his audio sermons

"It's Jeff Kern and his magical two hour moustache!!" ~lisa


Tuesday, April 08, 2003

LoL#29: April SNOW showers?

Cheesy Joke:
Q: "If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?"
A: "Pilgrims" (cause it's Mayflowers - like the ship - bringing Pilgrims....get it?)

Anyhoo, I told you it was a cheesy joke but it goes with that old rhyme April showers bring May flowers but I think whoever wrote that one wasn't talking about April snow showers like we're getting in the City this week. Seriously, people we're talking three inches of snow!

Three Inches!!! I'm not kidding. A week ago it was 70 degrees out there and now we got three inches of snow on the ground! Combine that with Monday in general and the insanity known as daylight savings time and let's just say I think everyone in my building was a little off their game yesterday. Just when you think spring has sprung we have to go and get hit with hibernation weather.

But I guess the tulips like it. :)

I dunno. I'll stop complaining about the weather now. It is pretty crazy though and the Caution: Falling Ice signs are back on the sidewalks but in the words of Richard Gere "That's Chicago!".

New subject: Birthday Shoutouts! Woohoo!!
First off I majorly screwed up in mistaking a birthday that I thought was May 6th for one that was actually March 6th. So the first super spiffy (overdue) b-day wishes go out to the super spiffy Maria J (aka Margarita Maria!) Sorry again about the mixup, but I hope things are going good for ya these days!!
Next up - and I'm only one day late on this one - April 7th was the super spiffy b-day of the super grrrrreat Ty Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrigg!!!!!
And last but certainly not least - and so that I don't miss it next week - an advance happy b-day on April 14th to the Champion of Cheeseheads and King of Kimwipes: Derek "3D/D-Bok/Happy-Yak-Dancer" B!

Anyhoo, to be breif: life's crazy these days. In fact, if I had to write a weather report of my life, unexpected snow flurries in the midst of a 70 degree April seems surprisingly appropriate. I don't mean to sound as if anything horrendous - or even minorly bad - is going on, it's just the usual (or rather UNusual) Lisa chaos. It's that whole idea of just when you've got a handle on the juggling act known as your life, someone goes and throws another ball into the frenzy. But that's what keeps us on our toes and makes life interesting.

On a somewhat related note, I've decided that I am basically 99.98% clueless about what I want in life. Now you all know first hand how indecisive and unpredictable I can be on a regular basis but I've recently been noticing a certain phenomenon that whenever I'll spend a considerable amount of time hoping and praying for something I'll just complain and whine about how stressful or annoying my life gets when I actually am presented with the opportunity to have it in my life. (i.e. the "it"s of late include: moving out of my parents house, taking the MCAT, serious responsibilities at church, and yadda yadda yadda...)

So I'm gonna stop. That is, I'm gonna stop whining and complaing, not hoping and praying. It's about time I start actually being a little bit grateful for random things that come my way because chances are, somewhere along the line, I either asked for it or can most definitely think of something that would have been much worse.

The record snowfall in April for Chicago was nine inches over two days back in 1985. It makes a slushy 3 inches seem pretty easy to handle. If worse comes to worse and we get the predicted 4 to 8 inches, I suppose I'll just be glad that it's not 48 inches.

Unexpected Snow Flurryfully Yours,

lisa :)

p.s. Something I don't normally do - I want to include some quick lyrics to a song we've been singing at my church. (It's a worship song so if anyone's rolling their eyes at me just know that my music tastes are ecclectic enough that next time it could just as easily be Pink Floyd.) I don't know if anyone's heard it but it's a way cool songand definitely fits with this e-mail:

Blessed be your name in the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow, blessed be your name.
Blessed be your name when I'm found in the desert plains
When I walk through the wilderness, blessed be your name.

Every blessing you pour out, I'll turn back to praise
And when the darkness closes in, Lord, still I will say:
Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be your glorious name.

Blessed be your name when the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be, blessed be your name.
Blessed be your name on the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering, blessed be your name.

Every blessing you pour out, I'll turn back to praise
And when the darkness closes in, Lord, still I will say:
Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be your glorious name.

You give and take away, you give and take away.
My heart will choose to say: Lord, blessed be your name.


Sunday, April 06, 2003

LoL#31: Mayday! MayDay!! May Day...

So that's actually "May day" as in the first LoL on a day that is in May. Sorry to disappoint any of you who were hoping for a story about a distress signal or my run in with super cool pop star John MAYer (...and then I woke up...)

But yeah it's May. For some of you that news brings about the ultimate moment of "OH! $*@#! It's time for finals!" For others it's a sigh of relief that spring MAY actually be here. For me it brings about the ultimate sentiment of "Hey, it's no longer April, I have to flip my calender".

(And let me just say I ended April on the coolest of cool notes with a concert at the Allstate arena last Wednesday. This guy you may have heard of by the name of Billy Joel put on a really great show and so did his Brittish friend he was touring with, Sir Elton John.... heh heh heh... IT ROCKED!)

But yeah April went bye-bye. As did the MCAT. (*insert sigh of relief*) I won't get my scores for two or three months but I'm super glad that it's done with. Now I just have to get through "Serve" - aka the massive service project that I'm organizing with church (May 10th) that at this point has become the type of hassle of a volunteering nightmare - and then I can actually relax and be all glad when it's over.

Oh and sometime in May I'm moving. Not to anywhere too excitingly far away but just around the corner to The Ville (note: Naperville is not "The Ville", Warrenville is "The Ville"; Naperville is "The Thrill"; Aurora of course is "A-Town"; Plainfield is "The Field"; etc etc etc)

But enough about May and it's craziness (except for cool movies like X-Men2 - which I saw Thursday at midnight - and Matrix 2...can we say SWEET?!?!) let's talk about vocabulary. Those of you that have seen the saga of crazy lisa e-mails through the lunch bunch days know that I like to rant about crazy words and phrases. This week's gems of the English language are "maters" "nooners" and "Fun times, noodle salad".

Allow me to explain.

"Maters", pronounced "may-ters", is an abbreviated form of tomato(e)s. There's a sort of logic that goes from how potato(e)s are also called "taters" then tomato(e)s should also be able to be called "maters" (just don't disgust yourself by pondering such things as "Mater Tots"). I don't know that there's an official origin to be cited here but I'm giving all credit to my sister Laura and her pet turtle Steve. In her own words, "Steve likes the maters."

And along the same line of new and interesting words for common fruits, bananas are now officially to be known as "nooners". This comes from the good old days of being roommates with Lauren J along with the old girl scout song "I like to eat...." The song lyrics are basically just "I like to eat apples and bananas" but each verse substitutes all the vowel sounds for a,e,i,o,and u so on the u verse it comes out as "OO luke tu ooot ooples und boonoonoos" and combining the funiness of the word "boonoonoos" with how some neighbors of ours always called bananas "Nanners", Lauren and I coined the phrase "Nooners" - which is way more fun than "Boonoonoos" and "Naners" combined.....well, actually it technically IS the combination of those two....

Anywho, the last phrase is from a friend of mine at work and noone has any clue as to how it came about or who originated it, but the phrase is just "Fun times, noodle salad." It works really well too with people who say "Fun times" or "Good times" a lot. Anytime anyone says either of those just respond with "noodle salad". Yes this is sure to bring about strange looks and the obvious question of "what did you just say??" To which you appropriately respond "Fun times, noodle salad". The funny part about this one is that if you start saying it often enough, it catches on and pretty soon everyone's saying it without really having any clue to the reasoning behind it other than that it's just a fun nonsensical phrase to insert into unexciting breaks in the conversation.


I know.

I'm looney tunes. I know too that I've been really bad about keeping in touch with people lately - super sorry but it's been a really crazy week/month/life. Hope all is going great for everyone though. Good luck with finals to those of you that have them!!

Good times, noodle saladfully Yours,

lisa :)

p.s. It was brought to my attention that there was a quote on the quote list that said "Food is good food." and through an accidental ommission by me typing it up Tony G's name was left off of it. So for anyone who cares, that astute observation was uniquely his.

Wednesday, April 02, 2003

LoL#28: True Confessions...

I have a confession to make....

....there's a new boy in my life.

(Yeah, I figured that would get some of you reading this.) Here's the deal, I actually read an article about him in the local newspaper a couple weeks back and I was extremely intrigued. My first impression was something along the lines of way cool, fun, funky, stylish, innovative, but way out of my league. So you can imagine my surprise when I actually spotted him at the local Hollywood video! I couldn't help but think that this was somehow fated and absolutely perfect for me, but at the same time I have the MCAT coming up in three weeks and how much of a distraction this would be. I wrestled with my sensibilities for twenty minutes before giving in. I walked up to the clerk and said the words that I'll never forget or regret: "I'd like to purchase one of your Gameboy Advance SP's". (Oh...did you think I was talking about a boyfriend? Hee hee...alas, I remain perpetually - and happily - single and I'm currently working on the top ten list of why you don't need to bother with guys -hehheh- when you have a Gameboy!)

Which brings me to my second confession: I am a video game junkie. Now in my favor are the facts that I've never actually owned a gameboy before and the last time I had the newest gaming system on the market I was in the fifth or sixth grade which was when I got my Super Nintendo for Christmas. Against me is the simple fact that I love video games and my newest accquisition is in one word: SWEET! For anyone who hasn't seen the amazing marvel that is the GameBoy Advance SP it's palm size with a laptop-style flip out screen and a lighted display so you can even play it in the dark (the first time Nintendo's offerred this feature) and is compatible with any Gameboy, GameboyColor, or Gameboy Advance game ever made and it comes in silver to match my cell phone. *I can't believe I just said all that - I am SUCH A NERD!!* To quote Ferris Bueller though, "It is so choice! If you have the means I'd highly reccommend it!" (he says that about Cameron's dad's car for those that are behind on their 80's movies references) or to quote Random Drunk Guy at Union Station "Like, Wow!" (hee hee!) But yeah, that's what I did with a quarter of my federal tax return :) and I'm currently hooked on Sonic Spinball (I got the Sega Smashpack three-in-one cartridge to start me off).

Which leads to my third confession: I don't like studying for the MCAT. I have a whole system worked out for myself where I only let myself play games after I finish my work for the day on the train. And in the morning the "work" is the daily old testament readings (still working on the BIAY - Bible in a Year) and in the evenings it's one section from my MCAT review book. There's so much material though that I'm probably going to have to start reviewing on weekends too. Plus I've found that it's really tough to be reading about the digestive system or the urinary tract when you're on a train ride because it majorly makes you hungry or have to pee, respectively.

And there really is no nice transition out of a statement like that so I'll skip to my fourth confession which actually isn't a confession at all but it's a statement of fact that I'll just call a confession because that's sort of the theme of this e-mail: It's Karrie M's birthday tomorrow. I've prepared a little tribute to her but I don't want anyone to get offended that they didn't get their own tribute on their birthdays, it's just that of everyone on this list Karrie lives closest to me hence I see her more than any of you. And although I've been quoted as calling myself the Velma Kelly to her Roxie Hart, I think some of our more recent antics put us closer to a Lucy and Ethel combo. Either way, I give you:

The Best of Karrie M...
(...that due to the limitations of e-mail will not include elevator dancing, Chili's queso dip, or car-Karaoke reditions of the Jimmy Eat World song "Sweetness" and is actually technically only "the best of" what I can remember at this present time!)

*Scene: Monday Night, Steak & Shake discussing misconceptions about religion from our youth*
Karrie M on Religion:
Lisa: "I thought all Christian religions acknowledged the Pope"
Karrie: "Yeah, he's the Pope. Wears the big hat, lives in Rome...."

*Scene: Border's Books and Music*
Karrie M on Ambitions:
Lisa: (hands Karrie Guiness Book of World Records) "Find a record for us to break."
Karrie: (opening book) "Most Albino Siblings?"

*Scene: Louisville, Last day of Ignite conference, reflecting on what we'd learned - Note: I took a nasty tumble off a statue earlier in the evening*
Karrie M on Reflections:
Lisa: "Well, what really hit me the hardest was..."
Karrie: "The marble????"

*Scene: Neurobiology 303, study session*
Karrie M on Neuroscience definitions:
Lisa: "What's reafference?"
Karrie: "Affering again."

*Scene: Louisville, Hanging out in the hotel hallway*
Karrie M on......drugs?
Karrie: "Oh look the balloons multiplied!!! Caleb - That was his name! Caleb!!"
(The side note was that earlier she was trying to remember someone's name - Caleb - and somehow when staring at the balloons getting set up for New Year's she remembered but the randomness of the quote as it was spoken was quite hilarious!)

Funny funny stuff. And hopefully those aren't the you-had-to-be-there type of funny quotes because they really were all hilarious moments and they serve as yet further evidence that I am not alone in my insanity! Anyhoo, happy b-day Karrie and hope everyone's doing great getting ready for and/or recovering from spring break! Luckily the weather's finally warming up in Chi-town and there's something a little easier about getting up in the morning with the sun already up to greet me (...of course soon we have to go and do that darn daylight savings thing.) Oh well, 24 days til the MCAT and let me warn you it's only going to get crazier from here!!!

Confessionfully Yours,

lisa :)

p.s. Nothing left to say, I just wanted to be sure to have a "p.s."!!

Thursday, March 20, 2003

LoL#27: We're live in 5,4,3, (2...1....)

Coming to you live from the mind of Lisa B it's the Not So Late Show with Lisa B! Our special guest today is Lisa B! Let's welcome our host Lisa Baker!!!

Thanks Mr. Imaginary Announcer Dude!! Thank you all for joining me tonight as well, I'm Lisa B and welcome to the Not So Late Show. I wanna bring out my first (and only) guest of the evening - a close personal friend of mind and, I don't think she'd mind me saying this, a total lunatic of a girl. Please welcome Lisa B!

Thanks Lisa, glad to be here!

And how are you doing tonight, Lisa?

Quite well, actually. Especially considering all the crazy stuff going on in the news right now.

Yeah, let's talk for a minute about that. It looks like we're officially in the midst of the second Gulf War. The bombing of Baghdad last night was an image I'm sure none of us will soon forget. Definitely scary stuff. Meanwhile Chicago tonight is teeming with anti-war protesters.

That's right Lisa. Lake Shore Drive was actually closed down this evening.

Now how is this affecting your work plans for tomorrow?

Well, luckily my bus doesn't take Lake Shore to get to the hospital, although most of my lab group does use that route. I heard that protesters were marching along Michigan Avenue and if activity keeps up tomorrow at the intersection of Michigan and Chicago I may have difficulty getting to work. My only hope at this point is that none of it turns violent.

I see. What are your thoughts on the anti-war movements as a whole?

Tough question. I understand their point of view, but I really feel that the time for "let's not go to war" sentiments is over. We've past that point, people, we are at war and disagreeing with it is fine but in all honesty, public opinion is not going to change what's going on. Any way we can get a lighter topic to discuss here??

Hmmm. Illini basketball's doing quite well.

Heh heh. Yeah. Not such a great transition there, but yeah, the boys are rockin it up. There's a March Madness pool at my work, which I didn't officially enter, but I've been very vocal about my hopes for Illini All The Way. I'll be catching a lot of flack if the boys lose.

On a totally different note, the LoL's have been severely lacking in shoutouts lately. Do you want to do anything to remedy that?

Yeah. Totally. I have major overdue birthday shoutouts going to the super spiffy Stacey "slovett" Lovett and the always awesome Jigga Jessica D. Sorry I'm a little late ladies but hope you both had great b-days!! :)

Anyone else you're forgetting?

Probably, but I'll just have to apologize later. My mind is on eighty different tracks these days.

Why's that?

Well, you know work's been pretty busy. And then last weekend was just way too much fun and I didn't sleep near enough...

Sounds like you were quite the partying gal?

Not really but I was down in Champaign and it was just an all out great time. Entertainment Night majorly rocked!

Entertainment Night?

Yeah it's illinilife's yearly variety show. As they like to say "Entertainment Night: There's a reason it's not called a talent show!"

So what were your favorite acts of the evening?

Igor's poetry reading and Kristy, Heather, Erika and Laura's "Friends" video!!!

Are you just saying that cause those were the acts by members of your i-team last year?

Yeah maybe, but they were really awesome! ;)

What else did you do in Champaign?

Mostly just hung out with super cool people that I don't see enough of these days. And I drank way too much.

I didn't think you were much of a drinker.

No I mean I drank too much caffeine! I think my grand total for the weekend came to 184 ounces of Mountain Dew alone. Plus some coffee, diet coke, vanilla coke, cherry coke....

Wow. That's uhh...dangerous yet impressive.

Thanks I think my hands are still shaking!

So you said you've got a lot on your plate these days, what else is new?

Well, I'm hard at work organizing the serve-a-thon we're doing at church. I've finally got a pretty good handle on that. And I did something really crazy today...

What's that?

I registered for the MCAT.

That's the Medical College Admissions Test, right?

Yeah. It's on April 26th which frighteningly enough is only a little more than a month away. I've been studying a little on the train, but I plan to kick it into high gear (as Emril would say: Take it up a notch - BAM!) over the next couple weeks. The registration alone almost sent me into panic attack mode, but for now it's all about baby steps. First step sign up to register, second step complete the registration. Check and check. Next step, super study, final step take the test!

Then apply to med schools.

Well yeah.

So now Lisa, I really have to ask, why in the world are you composing this e-mail as an imaginary interview with yourself?

Good question Lisa, I was actually just about to ask you the same thing.

Well, I suppose if you can write an entire e-mail from the perspective of your nose, there's nothing too loony about interviewing yourself.

True, except the whole thing is pretty loony. I think I've just been watching too many Late Night TV talk shows. I mean seriously, if Jimmy Kimmel can have a network Late Show than I can justify the fact that I deserve my own imaginary Not So Late Show.

There's only one problem.

What's that?

We've sort of passed the point of Not So Late. You've officially reached the Letterman/Leno hour.

Then I guess there's only one thing to do.

What's that?

Say goodnight, Lisa.

Goodnight, Lisa.

Imaginary Interviewfully Yours,

lisa :) [...& lisa :)]


I can't say end this without a p.s. It just wouldn't seem right.

Whatever you say Lisa, but regardless of Chi-town protesters, you do have be at work bright and early tomorrow.

You sound like my mom! But don't you have one more funny story about work to share?

OH yeah!! See we use these pipet tips at work that are these little plastic tips for pipets.

Hence the reason you call them pipet tips?

Heh heh, yeah. Anyhoo, they come in little boxes of about 96 and we refill the boxes of them and autoclave them so theyre sterile. The problem is though that sometimes if the boxes get a little worn you have the problem where the tips stick to the dispenser rack but the dispenser doesn't stay in the box.

How's that a problem?

Well, you go to take out a pipet tip with your pipet and you end up taking the whole dispenser rack out of the box and they're no longer sterile.

That sounds annoying.

It is! And actually it happened to me the other day as I was talking to Alex and I held up my pipet with the rack of 96 tips stuck to it and proclaimed "This has got to be the most annoying thing in the world!" Except as I turned to throw them all away, the rack fell off the pipet onto the floor scattering all 96 plastic pipet tips all across the room. We both started laughing and all I could say was "I stand corrected!"

Wow Lisa, you're such a spazz!

Yeppers!! It was really funny though. Anyhoo, it's time for me to be in bed.

Goodnight all!



Tuesday, March 11, 2003

LoL#26: SomeTHINK out of the ordinary...

Some apologies:

My last e-mail was boring, sorry. I'm even sorrier for having spazzed on the send button and ended up sending it twice. I also didn't even get an LoL out last week. My abition for a weekly e-mail has become a bi-weekly thing (but I doubt that that fact bothers anyone and some of you are probably even glad for it). :p

But enough with the sorries. I should be Canadian because then I could sound much cooler by saying "soory" instead of "sorry" and if you don't know what I mean by that intonation of the Canadian accent just watch Jeopardy sometime cause Alex Trebek says it all the time. "Ooh, I'm soory, the answer we were looking for was What is Tashkann...." Or not. But alas, I'm back with another week (or every other week) of the insanity that is the so-called Life of Lisa. (applause, applause....yeah right!)

So I was walking into work the other day and there was a sign on the sidewalk kind of like a "Caution: Wet Floor!" but it said "Caution: Watch for Falling Ice!" (Some of you remember my descriptions of the extensive bridge like walkways that connect the multiple buildings of the hospital complex,) I guess with the weird freezing-thawing-freezing weather we've had there's been problems with massive icicles forming on the walkways over the streets and sidewalks and ensuing chaos caused when gravity works its wonders on said massive icicles. Needless to say my eyes were focused upwards as I walked into work with odd wonderings of having to use all my sick time to recover from the injuries sustained from being unsuspectingly impaled in the forehead by a falling icicle.

Yes, I'm strange like that sometimes. (Okay... LOTS of times....) Perhaps an even odder thought, though, is thinking about what happened to our escaped lab mouse. We were doing mice experiments last week and we had nine cages from the Vivarium brought into our lab because we were sacrificing the mice from three different experiments. (That's the scientific way of saying that we were killing and disecting 45 mice that had tumors or were controls for tumor experiments - it's all humanely done so don't go calling PETA on me). Anyway, we keep five mice in each cage but somehow in moving, shifting and rotating all the cages around trying to group all the mice by what experiment they went with, we think one got out. To quote Tina "There's only four in here.....uhhhh....close all the lab doors....." We never found the little guy either. I had a dream that night though that I got home from work, found him in my backpack, and decided to keep him as a pet. I even named him Placebo (which would be a really good name for an escaped lab mouse) but unfortunately I'm doubting that his real fate was anything near as pleasant as the one in my dream.

Speaking of weird dreams though, I have been having way too many lately. They're not your typical random dreams either. Like the missed the train and couldn't get to work dream. Or the panicked in the middle of the MCAT and couldn't even remember what eggs were dream. Or the hooked up with that guy from church dream. Or the back in college and living a normal life again dream. I'd take any of those. Instead I'm having freaky Paul Callan style dreams or all out absurd ones that usually wake me up in fits of laughter. And since I promised this to be a funny e-mail I have to tell y'all about the latter. Placebo the Lab Mouse was one in a long string of absurd dreams including one about Chicago - the movie, not the city - but the one I have to relate quickly is one about Blockbuster video.
*Cue Dream Sequence*
So me and two of my friends went out to Hollywood video and picked out a couple movies. I hand them to the clerk with my rental card and he says "Alright these're due back at noon" and I said "Noon? I thought I got them for five days??" And he said "No, that's Hollywood Video, this is Blockbuster." Which really confused my dream self because I walked into a Hollywood video. So I said "Oh I thought I was at Hollywood. So these are due back at noon tomorrow?" and he says "No, at noon today." And I say "But it's already 1pm!" And he says "Oh, then I guess they're overdue" and takes the movies away from me. That's when I woke myself up cause I was laughing out loud.
*End Dream Sequence*
The whole thing stemmed from being at Hollywood video the night I had the dream and having the clerk tell me that there was a late fee on the account. When I asked what movie he replied "Earth versus the Spider" (which was a B horror flick my dad rented) and I joked with the guy that of all the movies to be overdue it had to be one that was hideously embarrassing to admit to having been checked out on my account.

Now's the point of the e-mail where I revert to apologizing because this e-mail is way more psychotic and long than I originally intended but on the flip side I guess I owe you all a couple good laughs. I'm not quite sure too if it's going to be laughing with or at me, but most likely it's a bit of both.

PsychoDreamfully Yours,

lisa :)

p.s. Shoutouts to anyone who picked up on any of my bizzarre and obscure references in this e-mail. To explain a couple:
Since probably only two to four of you have any clue what the deal is with the Paul Callan reference, Paul Callan is this character (played by Skeet Ulrich) on the new Monday night ABC show Miracles. He's this X-Files type investigator of paranormal stuff (miraculous stuff instead of extra terrestrial) but he always has these freaky psycho dreams that usually in a twisted bizarre way relate to what's about to happen to him (which we -the audience- have decided 9 out of ten times is a near death experience). So yeah a lot of my dreams have been weird and eerie like that - minus the near death experience and X-Files'ish investigations. There's a little too much to explain there so I'll just say that yes, some new TV shows out there actually have these things called "writers" ;) and Miracles is a super cool show (Mondays @ 9Central on ABC). It has Angus McFayden in it too who was Sandra Bullock's boyfriend in Ya-Ya Sisterhood but is even more well known as Robert da Bruce from Braveheart - he's super cool. Oh and the other random reference was in the "Tashkant" mention and I probably spelled it wrong but it's from the Coca-Cola mini-film thing that used to be on all the AMC movies ("I'M A WINNER!!!!!!!") and there's only a few of you that will think that's funny and even fewer will find it funny that the bowl falls twice...hee hee. And there was also an obscure Summer School reference in forgetting what eggs are and the sentence after that is funny for another whole slew of reasons too. Some of you heard the details of my Chicago dream (those that haven't probably never will) but I'm going WAYYYYY too long on this ps! Love to all!!