Monday, October 28, 2002

LoL#10: Things that make you go HA!

So I'm gonna make this e-mail a little shorter than my normal random rants and ramblings. I've discovered concrete evidence to support an often stated theory that many of you and I'd say a good 99% of all people that know me believe to be true:

Statement: Lisa is easily amused.


Exhibit A: Words
Did you ever notice that there are some words that just make you laugh? Maybe it's just me but "snood", "marf", "sunglassify", and "tormentia" will always make me giggle. And if you don't think any of those are funny....I leave you with "poopinator".

Exhibit B: Movies
Okay so I think Death to Smoochy is one of the most randomly crack induced movies I've seen in some time but it cracks me up. Even more random though are the cheesy 80's movies that constantly crack me up with their excessive cheese. And yes, I did watch "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" (the movie) this weekend. Come on, it's hilarious! And actually what's funnier is that we turned it on because the movie "Supergirl" was deemed too cheesy and too 80's....

Exhibit C: Caffeine & Sleep Deprivation
Everything's funny under these circumstances. Especially the idea of me consuming so much caffeine that I become so potently hyper that I'm a sort of "Caffeine Patch" able to transmit caffeine to other people just by touch.

Exhibit D: The Free Cell Icon Dude
This is like that piece of evidence that once you hear it you're just going to say case closed, Lisa is easily amused (as if this is really a point of debate). Anywho, open up the game Free Cell on your computer. (Come on just do it even if you hate the game) Before you even start a new game move your mose cursor back and forth straight between the free cells on the top left and the cells you play to on the top right. As you do this though watch the little King icon dude in the center. He watches you!!! I have zero explanation as to why I find it hilarious but stop to consider the fact that some programmer decided to make the little icon dude change directions to face your cursor and maybe you'll laugh too!

easily amusedfully yours,

lisa :)

p.s. A couple copyrights here:
"Snood" is a video game but it's become a noun, verb and interjection thanks to Lauren. "Marf" is Mike's own unique creation - still seeking a definition. "Sunglassification" and it's subsequent conjugations tions are attributed solely to James. "Tormentia" is the nounification of the word "torment" and is on record as the first official "Tonyism" (where "Tonyism" became the second official Tonyism). Last but most hilariously not least "poopinator" is quoted from Karrie as the less technical substitute for the veterinary device known as a fecalizer (Coming soon Poopinator Key Chains, Poopinator Pen Holders, Poopinator Necklaces, and Official Poopinator Award Statues simply for the reason that I'm way too amused by the word "Poopinator").

p.p.s. If anyone has any random stupid/silly things that for no apparent reasons crack them up please share them with me and I may possibly send out an ammendment to this LoL with all of your contributions!

Monday, October 21, 2002

LoL #9: One of those days...

Six 'o clock am and I was just in the middle of a dream - I was kissing Valentino by a crystal blue Italian stream. But I can't be late cause then I just won't get paid and these are the days when you wish your bed was already made. Have to catch an early train, got to be to work by nine and if I had an aeroplane I still couldn't make it on time! 'Cause it takes me so long just to figure out what I'm gonna wear. Blame it on the train, but the boss is already there.....
I wish it was Sunday cause that's my fun day, my I don't have to run day, but it's just another Manic Monday!

Okay I'll stop quoting 80's music (The Bangles) now (even though these ARE the days when you wish your bed was already made, yeah, right like I ever make my bed in the morning!) but I figured it fits since it is Monday and the Manic part seemed somewhat appropriate considering it's me talking here. Anywho....

Have you ever thought about how funny it would be to be driving down the road and seeing twenty some people standing at a bus stop doing the electric slide?

I think that'd be pretty amusing. No change that - I would be downright hilarious. I was at the bus stop this morning and when the three people to the right of me got on the UIC bus (which comes 5 minutes before the NWU bus) I sidesteped grapevine style to where they had been standing and the previously mentioned image of line dancers at a bus stop popped into my head.

Then again maybe not.

I'm bored out of my mind at work right now. If anyone reads this before 5 e-mail back cause then I can at least pretend to be engrossed in imortant e-mail...oh wait, I'm ALREADY doing that ;) I had to watch a radiation safety video today too. That was funny. Indiana University Copyright 1982 - need I say more?

I have to put a shoutout in here too to super spiffy crazy lady Agnes cause the whole thing was just a little too reminiscent of CHEM 393 (Principles of Lab Safety) and I really needed someone I knew watching it with me cause it was very worthy of being mocked. Also, to all the NNHS-ers, "Hi" from Kate N. I saw her on the train this morning, she's taking classes at Columbia studying Marketing/Advertising.

Oh and I normally do actually have work to do at work. Today's just one of those waiting days which is not so bad considering that 90% of my day on Friday was devoted to opening, closing, labelling, reopening, reclosing and relabelling microcentrifuge tubes. I'm gonna write the world's shortest novel titled Things I Love About Plasmid Mini-Preps.

manic mondayfully yours,

lisa :)

p.s. and for the record I wasn't actually having dreams about Valentino last night. it's just a song. and speaking of songs Wheezer's "Island in the Sun" just came on the radio and I'm debating how wrong it would be to turn the volume to max and start singing and dancing my way through the tissue culture work I get to do in the next hour....

Wednesday, October 16, 2002

LoL #8: J's , Homecoming, and some random insanity

Hello all and welcome (back) to the insane world of the weekly Lisa update [LoL = Lisa on Life]!

Something I don't normally do here is welcome people to the list - there's four newbies and sorry, Melinda but you're the odd one out. The reason I mention this at all is that the other three new additions are all named Jessica. (How weird is that?) Melinda you're added by request, Jigga-Jess D you're added cause Jigga-Jason gave me permission to spam you ; Jess G you're on here cause this is my forum for sharing crazy work stories plus J-Darkknight mentioned you might be up for some homecoming plans ; and Jess C you're added because in adding the other two Jess's I realized that I never added you to my list (sounds like France is way cool - rock on sis!!). So to Melinda and the Jessicas (that sounds like a girl rock band) - welcome to my insanity, you're under no obligation to stay but I thought I'd at least give ya a chance to get in on the fun. I also have to point out too that this now makes "J" the most popular letter in my address book - you're all grouped by first names - "J" was formerly tied with "K" but has now taken over.

Not like any of you care about my address book anyway. Okay Lisa lay off the crack and say something important! Homecoming weekend!! Woohoo!! October 25-27 at U of I!!! Yes, I am coming to visit! And although I was trying my hardest NOT to make plans - these things happen. Here's what I got so far: I'll be ariving in Chambana late Friday night (with Karrie) ; staying in the supreme Hotel de Lauren :) ; hopefully going out to Curtis Orchard Saturday morning (consider this your not so formal invitation to join in on the fun) ; going to the Homecoming game Sat afternoon (with cool people Sean, Greg, Sara, Brad, Karrie, etc) ; maybe catching SNG and hopefully a way cool SNaG ; Sunday lunch at Miko's if that works for Emily (if that don't work Sat dinner is maybe an option too) and who knows what else way cool fun stuff. Oh and there's all these rumors about when the barn dance is - 18th? 25th? Nov 1st? - and if November 1st is correct there's a chance you Chambaners could get a double dose of Lisa visits which would be cool since I'm sincerely hoping but not entirely sure that I'll see y'all Homecoming weekend. Oh and anyone who wants to reach me at any time that weekend (or actually anytime at all) call my cell phone.

Okay and here's where I give little shoutouts to Jenny and Kristin cause they're non U of I folk who probably couldn't care less about Homecoming weekend plans.

Now for the random insanity: I've had a lot of recurring teeth problems lately. (Told you it was random) Luckily my dental insurance just kicked in but I have to have my wisdom teeth taken out and I think I might have another cavity. Anyhoo the reason I mention this at all is that I've been really paranoid about the fact that my gums kept bleeding every time I brushed or flossed so I decided that I'd start in with the whole super healthy Listerine mouthwash (named after Joseph Lister and his favorite bacteria Lister monocytogesomething....did somebody say...McBio?). But anyway every time I use it I feel like I've set my gums on fire. Maybe I'm getting gingivitis from excessive coffee drinking or something but more likely I think Listerine is really just one part green dye, two parts alcohol and three parts hydrochloric acid. I'm not saying I've hit the green fairy hallucination level but ever since absinthe and NyQuil I would think that people would start being more suspicious of green alcoholic liquids.

And for the sake of more insane amusement I have to replay a little scene from Saturday night (that has nothing at all to do with Listerine but it's funny and random so enjoy):

[Border's Books & Music, Route 59 store ; 8:30-ish pm]
Karrie M & Lisa B perusing the standardized test study guide aisle; Earlier Saturday Lisa purchased an MCAT study guide at Barnes & Noble, Karrie's on a quest for a similar item for the GRE. Only problem is there are a million to choose from.

Karrie: How do I know which one's the best?

Lisa: Well, I know Kaplan's a good company but if you're like me you pick one out by the price tag.

Karrie: Do they have "GRE: For Dummies"?

*both laughing* [Lisa's cell phone rings]

Lisa: It's my sister. (answering phone and beginning to talk to sister)

Karrie: (turning around in the aisle to look at more interesting books - points enthusiastically at book on shelf) OH LOOK! It's the "Government has thousands of dollars for you" dude!!!

Lisa: (turning around to the sight of book with scary "Government has thousands of dollars for you" dude on the cover and cracking up) [to phone] sorry, Karrie's quoting infomercials at me. [Pulls Guiness Book of World Records off shelf and hands it to Karrie trying to distract her from being distracting] Here, find a record for us to break. [back to phone conversation]

Karrie: [opens book to random page] How about "Most Albino Siblings"?

Okay it was funny. Maybe you had to be there but we were both laughing a lot. And we eventually decided that since Albino siblings might be a bit tough we're gonna try for most clothespins stuck to one's face (what was the number 43? ouch.) Then again these were the ideas developed under the influence of Dairy Queen. It's Pumpkin Pie Blizzard season! SOOOOOO yummy!! I may even have to insist upon a DQ trip while in Chambana or else there's always TACO BELL (yes, I meant that to be overenthusiastically capitalized!).

I'll stop rambling now. Love to all!!

pumpkin pie blizzardfully yours,

lisa :)

p.s. I just realized that this e-mail is void of any funny work stories so even though it has nothing to do with work just a quick note for all the science nerds, Lauren informed me that this is currently the Year of Atmospheric Oxygen. Yea for science nerds who can figure that out!! And for all the non-science nerds I was watching Moulin Rouge on HBO last night - love that movie! - and can I just say that Ewan McGreggor is just way cool??? I was reminiscing about how as a mockery of Bree Sharp's song "David Duchovny, why won't you love me?" Emily and I developed our own version of "Ewan McGreggor, come to my kegger!"

...(and don't worry we were talking about a Root Beer Kegger) yes, I am insane as is almost everyone I know!!


Tuesday, October 08, 2002

LoL #7: Morning's Ickyness

Yes It's time for another Lisa Rant on the all out yuckiness of mornings. See, it's not even 9:30 am yet and I've been up for three hours. THREE HOURS!!! That's just not right. Especially with this whole October less hours of daylight thing going on. As if it's not hard enough to get out of bed pre-seven o'clock, now you want me to do it without even a hint of sunlight???? I don't think so! There should be a new rule about not being allowed to be up before the sun. HEL-LO, people! Day has NOT started yet!!!!!!

*Sigh* But alas, here I am at work on a cold Tuesday morning and I'm facing the ultimate problem that my body is awake before my brain. Normally I would be chugging coffee but lately my good friend caffeine has been making me kinda sick so I'm trying to cut back. Yes, I, the Queen of Caffeine am cutting back (please note that "cutting back" is nowhere near "giving up"). I think my biggest problem is that I had too much fun over the weekend. It always makes the week that much harder to start. It's what we call the "fun hangover" - meaning that you had too much fun, not necessarily involving alcohol - over the weekend and don't want to get up on Monday. But yeah on Saturday I went to a wedding of some friends of Mike's and it was just a total blast. The official quote of the day was a remark about the vanilla ice cream dessert "It tastes like wedding". And I'll refrain from sharing the other amusing stories about Random Drunk Guy (there's one at every party...or at least every party with an open bar).

But now it's Tuesday (I don't quite even know what happened to Monday....) and I'm seriously I'm having one of those weird brain dead daydreaming mornings.

On the train I actually found myself pondering such questions as if Ian McKellan as Gandalf (in Lord of the Rings) went up against Ian McKellan as Magneto (in X-Men), who would win? And then sanity slips in and says that such a fight would never occur because as far as I know he doesn't have a twin. But then you start considering the possibilities of cloning him but then you decide that since he's actually SIR Ian McKellan he probably would be too dignified to get in a fight with himself in the first place. Then you just boil the whole thing down to a much simpler debate of who's cooler and Gandalf wins hands down. Unless you take into consideration pity points for Magneto's traumatic childhood, then it's closer but I still vote Gandalf. But since it's a coolness contest you then have to consider other LoTR possibilities like who's cooler: Sean Astin as Sam Gamgee or Sean Astin as Mikey Walsh in The Goonies? (and actually the jury's still out on this one...but leaning towards the Goonies...)

*Sigh* Anywho, morning is morning and I probably shouldn't be spending quite this much of it on the computer. Hope y'all have a wonderful week (and go ahead an gloat if you're one of those who's first class is 10am....your time will come.) ;)

quasi-good morning,

lisa :)

p.s. Okay since I mentioned REM in my last e-mail I just have to say how annoying/bizzarre the radio at work is. Somehow it always ends up on light rock (Windy 100.3 for all you Chicago-area folk) and it's the sappiest cheesiest music you've ever heard. They have a play list of maybe 30 or 40 songs a day and with the exception of the occasional John Mayer, REM or Counting Crows it never extends beyond the realm of Celine Dion, Faith Hill, Shania Twain, Elton John, and everyone's favorite "no-talent ass clown", Michael Bolton. And it's always super sappy love songs. Not that I mind love songs in small doses but this is the kinda thing that if you were coming off a bad break up could probably push you to the point of suicidal!! And when you don't want to be awake in the first place, crap music is basically adding insult to the injury. Okay done complaining now. Time to go transfect endothelial cells!!

....and I know it's not Friday yet....

............but is it almost NOON????????????

:) <------ me, still smiling and hoping you are too!

Friday, October 04, 2002

LoL #6: Over and Out Day

Happy Over and Out Day!!

In the tradition of pointless, frivilous, unofficial holidays (I hope everyone had some fun on "Talk like a Pirate Day") I want to let you all know that today is officially Over and Out Day!! I don't know who first claimed it as an official unofficial holiday (?) but I first heard about it from my super spiffy former roomie Lauren. See it's Over and Out Day because it's October 4th....10/4...get it?? Ten Four Over and Out????

Okay so it's lame but it's also fun and kind of amusing. In fact just for the insanity of it everyone should talk on a walkie talkie at some time today. Or since that's a bit challenging just make a cell phone call and pretend you're on a walkie talkie (throw in a few alpha bravo charlie's and you'll sound really cool).

Now unfortunately Over and Out Day might be the most amusing part of this e-mail (sorry, Karrie the Oktoberfest hilarity and the Boxer Boogie just can't be described in words) cause with a couple exceptions I've had a rather mellow week. But before I go into all that it's shoutout time:

First a shoutout to the super spiffy Mike B who turns 23 tomorrow!! And Happy Birthday wishes also go out to the way cool Heather M whose birthday is sometime in the first couple weeks of October (my apologies for not remembering the exact day!). And also a super spiffy random shoutout to the wonderfully sunshiney Jacklyn D! And one more shoutout to anyone who likes Chuay Ghan better than Sook Jai or even knows what the heck Chuay Ghan and Sook Jai are.

DUDE - the coolest song just came on the radio. It's "Shiny Happy People" by REM. One of those songs that you just can't help smile at. :) Random fact is that I actually listed this as my most favorite song when I was in 6th grade. I have no idea why I remember that but it's a way fun song from back when REM was a fun pop bubblegum style band and before they got freaky and Michael Stipe lost all his hair. Just Kidding. I still like REM. Always have and probably always will. But yeah 6th grade....LONG TIME AGO. 1991 or 92....dude I feel old now. The weird thing too is that this gives me the perfect transition to what I really wanted the whole point of this e-mail to be. I think I'm turning back into a 22-year old version of my junior high self.

6th grade Lisa:
favorite movie: The Goonies
favorite band: REM
favorite food: Mexican or Italian
favorite fast food: Taco Bell
favorite free time activities: reading, running, rollerskating, hanging out with friends
favorite subject: science
life's ambition: become a doctor

So maybe REM's not topping the charts as my favorite anymore but everything else is the same and over the past month I've decided that I've returned to my junior high ambition and do want to go to med school. I think I only quasi know what I'm getting into (this goes with the decisions I mentioned in the last e-mail) cause it's gonna be a pretty major commitment that's gonna affect all my life circumstances for the next 5-10 years or so (time, money, relationships, work situation, living arrangements, etc.). But yeah, it's been a long time coming and it's time for me to just admit that it's what I should be doing and not panic about how it's gonna happen or if it's even feasible. First step - MCAT in April. Six months away.

Anywho, I guess it's time for me to make good on the promise too that I said this would be a shorter e-mail. And I know it's really not THAT short, but I could ramble on much longer here and to prove that this is shorter than it could be I won't include a p.s.


lisa :)
(a.k.a. lola igloo simon alpha)

p.s. I lied. It just didn't seem right signing without one. Love to all y'all!!