Can't they just call it fancy-single-cup-of-coffe-thing-a-ma-jig?

This week at the train station they've been giving out free coffee as a promotion for Keurig coffee brewers. Well, actually they're not giving out the cups of coffee themselves, but rather they have been passing out a cup with an insert containing the thing that you put in the machine to brew the coffee and then sending commuters to the Great Hall area of Union Station where all of the fancy brew machines are set up.

It's actually something of a brilliant invention. Basically you place the coffee or tea insert (what looks like an over-sized single serve half and half container) into the machine, put your cup under the spout, press a button, and in less than a minute you have fresh brewed coffee or tea. I can see the draw of them for corporations - Tony said they had one at his previous job - but I'm not rushing out to get one in my own home any time soon. In part, because I have no clue how to pronounce the things. Even the volunteers passing out the samples varied from "Free coffee from cure-ig" to "Coffee compliments of coo-rig today" and "Brew your own cor-ig coffee". If it were me I would call it the Coffee-in-a-Minute Machine or something else equally less cool and European but simple to say.

I did like the coffee though. I tried the Caribou rainforest blend and it was really good. The strangest thing was that as I was adding cream and sugar to it there was a man next to me that put five creamers and eight packets of sugar in his drink. The cups were comparable to a small from most coffee shops and my jaw must have hit the floor when I saw him empty creamers two at a time twice into his cup; reach for the sugar, count out four packets, tear them open, dump them into his cup, and repeat; followed by a quick stir and then one more Coffeemate creamer! He didn't even taste it before adding everything! I'm all for sweet beverages (one cream, one sugar for me) but I had to wonder if his drink even resembled coffee when he was done with it.

Random

For whatever reason Tony decided that he can read the mind of Cubs manager Lou Pinella. Along with his latest voice impression of our favorite skipper, Tony had this insight to share:

"What am I gonna do with Fukudome?"

Hey, I warned you it was random.

Super Bowl's Most Famous Feat...or is it Feet?

Although I wanted to make this post about the Super Bowl a tribute to Mike Tomlin - the youngest coach to win the game - and come up with all sorts of rumors about how he is really the long lost brother of actor Omar Epps, it seems that that topic has already been done before. Instead, I'll focus on an only slightly less overdone topic and talk about the catch that won the game.

Though many players gain great fame from their spectacular last minute awe-inspiring performances, great tribute must be given to the feat - or rather the feet - of Santonio Holmes. With triple coverage and only seconds of game time, Holmes collected a pass from Ben Roethlisberger to the very corner of the end zone and managed to keep both toes on the ground in bounds for the win. I can't even tell you how many replays showed from a multitude of angles that it was in fact a catch, but it might be safe to say that Holmes has the most famous feet of the week. But going back to the man who threw the ball to him, though I had little stake in caring who won the game, part of me was definitely cheering for Roethlisberger. Not only does he have the most fun-to-say name since Plaxico Burress, but part of me feels a little shot of sympathy for him growing up with a name like that. For the amount of times I've been on the phone and had to say "It's r-r-E-r-o" and still have hideous misspellings of my name appear (even by members of my own family!) - I can only imagine the trouble that Ben has been coping with all his life.

Congratulations Steelers and congrats to the Cardinals, for making it a well-played and very exciting game. Congratulations to Santonio Holmes for keeping his feet just right and congratulations to everyone who spelled Roethlisberger correctly. You can all go to Disneyland with Bruce Springsteen now.

The rest of us will wait out the next few weeks of bitter Chicago winter with just one thing in mind - "Is Spring Training here yet???"

I Won!!! Again!!!

I finished my novel!!!
*Happy dance! Happy Dance!*

Thanks for your concern...

...but this was not me.

Yeah, it's like that.

I waited twenty minutes in a mob at Starbucks this morning for a Grande Nonfat Chai Tea Latte. Crazy? Yes. But I didn't know it would be twenty minutes, it's Starbucks, you learn to expect it to be crowded. And besides, it made for some great people watching time. Like the girl who ordered two Venti Skim Upside Down Carmel Macchiatos. I don't know what the heck an Upside-Down Caramel Macchiato is but I may order one next time just for the fun of saying it. Two half-caff coffees, three hot chocolates, a peppermint mocha and an eggnog latte later they called my name. When I realized that I had to nudge my way through throngs of people to claim my cup of warm liquidy goodness (*ahhh!*) I had a quick vision of the barista calling out names and following them with "Come on Down! You're the next contestant on The Price Is Right!" I thought about suggesting he add the phrase to his rapport of coffee call outs but decided instead on a smile and "Happy Holidays!" Yeah, it's like that.

Puts the "Good" in "Good Morning":

"Hello?"
"I'm weak!!
"What?"
"Grande. Nonfat. Pumpkin. Spice. Latte!"
"Already?"
"Yes. It's officially fall, I couldn't resist!"
"You are weak."
"I missed my bus, it's cold outside. It just... called to me!"
"Learn to resist..."
"The self-control was in the grande... I was this close to going Venti."
"Riiiight."
"It's soooooo goooood!"
"Now you're making me want one."
"And nonfat - that practically makes it a healthfood!"
(Laughs)
"Pumpkin spiiiiiiiice....."
"I gotta go, I have an 8:30 meeting - thanks for calling, though."
"Have a great day, hope things aren't too crazy for you."
"You too. I love you."
"I love you too. I love you even more than my Pumpkin Spice Latte!! And that says a lot!"
(Laughs) "Okay, talk to you later."
"Bye."

Habi-what?

Hosting a Habitat for Humanity Fundraiser this weekend. Lots of planning. Lots of stress. Lots of caffeine too. The resultant brain meltdown manifested itself in an email I wrote to Tony earlier today:

You know what else would be cool? If instead of Habitat for Humanity they had Habitrail for Humanity and they built human sized Hamster houses for people. They could have cool running wheels in funky primary colors and plastic crawling tubes connecting all the different rooms. We wouldn't have to go to the gym anymore cause we'd get workouts running around the house. I'd especially like to see the cool lookout tower room. And they could even have giant water bottles sticking out of the side. Then we could give up Brita water pitchers for giant water bottles and never have to deal with dehydration or running to the fridge for water again. That would be flippin' sweet. I wanna be a hamster.

Or not.

Blame the Dew.

Daydream Believer

"Everyone dreams, indeed, at night. But there are two types of dreamers, my friend, those who dream at night and those who dream in the day... Nighttime dreams are for release, say some, a purging of the worries or a fanciful flight to no end. Those who dream in the night alone are doomed to mundanity, don't you see? The ordinary. The mediocre. Night dreamers do not concern me because there is nowhere for them to rise. But those who dream by day... those, my friend, are the troublesome ones. Daydreamers alone are truly alive, for daydreamers alone find perspective in existence and seek ways to rise above the course of simple survival. To live and not merely survive - that secret is in your heart, if only you are wise enough to look."

~ R. A. Salvatore

This quote is from a book I finished last week. I started reading (and fell in love with) R.A. Salvatore novels somewhere around 9th or 10th grade, and although they're essentially cheesy fantasy novels that I should have left in high school with flannel shirts and my overuse of the word "whatever!", I'm so hooked to the characters and stories Salvatore creates and so in awe of his literary genius that I can't bear not reading his latest works. The quote above is from a recently released book that probably few have read (The Promise of the Witch King - cover shown at right) and takes place in the novel when an optimistic and opportunistic dark elf mercenary (Jarlaxle Dearthe) is asking his friend, a reformed human assassin (Artemis Entreri), about his lack of motivation for their current adventure. No surprise that one of the things I love most about Salvatore is his ability to write dialog that transcends the characters situations and speaks to reader's hearts. Among his great quotes from other novels are:

"There is no pain greater than losing something - or someone - before truly recognizing it's value"

"It is one thing to know one's heart and another to admit it. It is another thing entirely different to follow it."

And there's lots more too but those are my favorites (and the only ones I can remember right now). Brilliant, eh? With the popularity of Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter I'm guessing that more people might be open to reading fantasy novels so for anyone looking to check out Salvatore's books I recommend The Crystal Shard (his first published novel from 1988) or Homeland (a prequel that starts in with back story from his most popular character) as a great place to start. I've read and enjoyed all of his novels published in the TSR/Wizards of the Coast: Forgotten Realms series and I know that makes me an even bigger nerd than when I was calculating how much caffeine there was per milliliter in Mountain Dew but that's me. Crazy, nerdy, caffeinated.

Dewfeine

I've invented a new word. Dewfeine. It's like caffeine, but better. I figure since caffeine comes from coffee (en francais: cafe), Dewfeine comes from Dew. And that's Dew with a capital D - short for Mountain Dew. Get it? Okay. Say it with me now "Dewfeine. D-E-W-F-E-I-N-E. Dewfeine". Here's what Webster's may someday print:

Dewfeine: noun. (doo-FEEN) The caffeine contained in Mountain Dew, a citrus flavored carbonated soft drink beverage known to cause the jitters, short attention spans, hyperness, and hilarious blogs. (i.e. I'm full of Dewfeine!)

Dewfeinate: verb. (DOO-fin-ate) To consume or to have consumed caffeine from Mountain Dew, approximately 98.6 micrograms per milliliter. See also Dewfeine. (i.e. I am Dewfeinated, You're going to be Dewfeinated, That 32 ouncer from Taco Bell will really Dewfeinate us.)

Except Webster's will print them in alphabetical order. Spread the use of Dewfeine by using this word whenever you consume the Midwest's #1 beverage. (At least that's what this site claims. They also list an official Mountain Dew Addicts Pledge. I should probably learn that one.) And yes I actually calculated the ug/mL of caffeine in Dew. 35 mg of caffeine per 12 ounces, baby!

This page is not sponsored, endorsed or in any way affiliated with Mountain Dew or Pepsi (or Taco Bell for that matter) and I think the names themselves are property of Pepsi (except for Taco Bell which is property of Taco Bell) but hopefully it's cool for me to use them as free advertising of how wonderful their beverage is. Dewfeine, Dewfeinate, and all subsequent dewfeinous conjugations are solely mine (as far as I know) seeing as how they emerged from a very sleep deprived but Dewfeinated mind. Happy Friday and if you can read this you have very good vision or just a really big computer screen.

Squirrel Fishing

Just in case anyone was confused about what Squirrel Fishing is.

Thanks to Lauren for the picture. I opened it in an e-mail this morning and almost fell off my chair laughing.

My Embarassing Cell Phone Story

I got a new cell phone. It's a totally funky Motorola ROKR model with iTunes capabilities built in. Now from the title of this entry you might expect me to tell you about accidentally blasting music during a meeting or maybe making unintentional calls by forgetting to lock the keypad, but my story is even more embarassing than that. I'm usually the first person in my lab in the mornings and I thought it would be cool to use the iPod-like features of my new phone to play some music for myself since there's noone to talk to pre 9:30 am. Only problem is I haven't had the chance to upload any music into the phone yet. But I'm getting ahead of myself...

Let me start with the story of how I came to own this choice piece of cell phone heaven. At over $200 you better believe I didn't buy it on my own. Rather I've been gifted enough to be the daughter of a Motorola employee who was on a focus group to test a prototype of the ROKR earlier this year. As a reward for my dad's feedback he got to exchange the prototype for an actual model. However, he and my mom are very much attached to their slimline RAZR phones which meant the ROKR was up for grabs. My other siblings all have cooler phones than me already and seeing as how I'm a train commuter and would make the most use of an iPod-ish device, I got the phone! So back to where I was...

I wanted to listen to some music this morning but the only songs in the phone were songs my dad uploaded into it. Eleven songs in total (just enough to get me through my freaky quiet alone in the lab phase): five from 10,000 Maniacs, two from The Byrds, and four from ABBA. Here's where the story gets embarassing - it was great music. I'm sure many of you that know me as a Bon Jovi, Kutless, Metallica, fan are laughing yourselves silly right now but I was really jamming. I mean, yeah, I've always been one to join the crowd on the floor at weddings when "Dancing Queen" starts but I was really digging the intro bars to "Fernando" and once that chorus hit it... oh my. I needed every ounce of self control I had not to start belting out "THERE WAS SOMETHING IN THE AIR THAT NIGHT....." (That would have made this My Mortifying Cell Phone Story - heh heh.) What can I say, though? I have to admit it. I'm an ABBA fan.

I think it goes back to when I was a kid and it was the preferred music of my parents. We'd go on car trips (usually Minnesota to Michigan) - sometimes with six people piled into a six seater "Clown Car" Cadillac - and aside from the Find All 50 States' License Plates game, what I remember most about the actual trips is the music we'd listen to. There was The Moody Blues , Roy Orbison, the soundtrack to Dirty Dancing, and of course - ABBA. Dancing Queen has long been a favorite and all four of us kids would always chime in on the chant-like "takeachance takeachance takeachance" background of "Take A Chance on Me". There's fond memories there and even more recently for my dad's and sister's birthdays we took a trip to Chicago as a family and went to see Mama Mia, the musical based around the music of ABBA.

So what can I say? That's my embarassing story. I confess to the entire blogosphere that I am an ABBA fan and here's my questions for you (answer HONESTLY!):

(1) What do you really think of ABBA?

(2) What songs bring back fond friend or family memories for you?

(3) What's one song that you would say is a MUST DOWNLOAD into my new phone?

Happy November and have fun answering!
...And somewhere in the crowd, there's you.

Guess Who?

Cuckoo! Cuckoo! I loove zee little Cuckoo Birds!!

Crack Squirrels!

Okay since I'm in the middle of a psychotic scarf down your lunch in less than 15 minutes if you want a chance to eat at all today I figure I deserve a quick break to put up a post. I got this article e-mailed to me from my brother today. It's about squirrels on crack... literally. I want to dedicate it to anyone who:

(a) Looks back at U of I with fond memory of Quad Squirrels

(b) Has ever engaged in "Peanut on a String" Squirrel Fishing

(c) Wanted to be a member of SAGE*

(d) Believed at one time or another that being devoured by squirrels was a punishment for being late to class

(e) Just needed something to laugh about on a Friday

Happy Friday and Happy Squirrel Fishing!

* SAGE is a wannabe club at U of I it's an acronym for Students Against the Gluttony of Squirrels (the E stands for "of Squirrels")

Java Time!

Either I was right all along or there's just some truth to the idea that given enough time and money scientists and researchers will spend their lives contradicting each other. After years of getting a bad wrap for it's dehydrative and hyperactive side effects, my good friend coffee has turned from the dark side and is being hailed in a more attractive light. In fact it's now practically considered a health food.
According to a recent article in Forbes the antioxidants in coffee are loaded with health benefits and studies have linked coffee consumption to lowered rates of illnesses such as colon cancer, Parkinson's disease, Alzheimer's, Type II diabetes, and heart disease. Of course there's the flip side from the American Dietetic Society saying that diabetics should avoid excess caffeine due to the effects it has on glucose metabolism, but on the whole everyone seems to agree that moderate (2-3 cups / day) consumption of coffee can be a major plus.

Score one for the caffeineaholics!

TGIF!

Quick bit du jour:
Good thing I ride Metra to work cause I think Amtrak would've asked me to check the bags under my eyes this morning. Two thoughts for the day:

(1) Dang, I love coffee!

(2) Thank God it's Friday! [And I mean that in every literal sense of the phrase possible.]

peace out & enjoy the weekend!

LoL#53: Attack of the Killer Uh... Mangos

*******
Disclaimer: I wrote this LoL last month and wasn't going to send it on the sheer fact that I think it's really pointless and stupid, but in cleaning out my e-mail, I found it in my drafts folder and decided that all my LoL's are kinda pointless and stupid and if nothing else some of you might find this one mildly entertaining. If you're bored, that is. Really, really bored.... ;)
*******

I bought an air freshener the other day. A seemingly everyday occurrence, yes? No. Well, at least not for me. That is, it should have been a mundane everyday occurrence, but keep in mind, this is The LoL. Here's the Story:

Now that it's summer Tony and I have been doing the whole patio grilling thing for dinner. I'm as much a fan as anyone of summertime burgers, dogs, and brats (said with a Chicago accent to rhyme with "cats") but there's the slight issue that cooking with charcoal leaves our condo with a resultant Mesquite fragrance known to last longer than the time it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop. This in itself would not be too extreme a problem except that I've also discovered the joys of Italian cooking. Since I never grew up eating much garlic (my mom's allergic) I've only recently learned how delicious it is to cook with and also how the scent of it could rival post-atomic-war-cockroaches in a longevity contest! Long story short, the problem was that our condo was starting to gain the constant scent of the remnants of a char grilled Italian restaurant. The solution seemed easy enough - buy an air freshener. But that's when the real attack began.

It started at Bath & Body Works. If by some freak accident of modern consumerism none of you have ever been in a B&BW store, chances are you still have your sense of smell. (Men are excluded from the "freak accident of modern consumerism" theory, it's a girly store - although I'm guessing plenty of you Xy-ers have shopped there too...) I was in their store last week and counted at least a dozen different fragrances which means that by today they probably have eighteen or twenty. How can one individual be expected to process that much olfactory information at one time??? I'm serious, they are incessant about coming up with more scents. They're probably the only business that's more psychotic about new product invention than the soft drink industry (Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper - does one drink really need five words in it's name?!??!). But regardless, my condo was suffering in it's aromas of burned vesuvio and somehow I thought that Bath & Body Works might solve the problem. It's there that I had my first encounter with the "RealEssence Mango Mandarin Wallflowers Continuous Home Fragrance Starter Kit" (No joke, that's what it's called!)

I plugged it in as soon as I got home.

At first things were nice. Small wafts of fruity scented air caressed my nose when I woke up in the morning... Images of mangoes on a tropical island paradise gently greeted me after work... But then... it got stronger. And Stronger. And Stronger! After a week it had a mind of it's own - I'd open the door to a full on fruity assault! It was out of control! Then I realized how sneaky the packaging had been by sandwiching "Continuous" into a string of cutesy advertising words to fool the unsuspecting buyer into overlooking the fact that once you bring this Gremlin of an air freshener into your house it's going to take over everything! So I did what any sensible person would do - I fought back! (Okay maybe the sensible people would just unplug it but I might not quite fit into the sensible category and besides, what actually happened makes for a better story.)

I cooked! And not just any normal cooking. I cooked Italian. With garlic. Fresh Garlic - minced AND sautéed. (Okay in all fairness, I wasn't actually crazy enough to cook for the sole purpose of trying to wage war against an air freshener, but I had a really good recipe for pasta with clams in a white wine sauce and it specifically called for fresh garlic minced and sautéed.) By the end of the night VICTORY WAS MINE!! Our condo was once again smelling like Italia! Garlic, oregano, olive oil, white wine - THE WORKS!

Little did I suspect Mango Mandarin was not going down without a fight. I don't remember which scent prevailed the following morning, but after work the next day I came home to the worst scent ever! A truce was reached that neither could be stronger so our entire condo smelled very much like... both. Try if you can to imagine Garlic Mango Italian Oranges. I don't know why people even try to describe scents because if I tried to tell you what Garlic Mango Italian Oranges smell like all I can say is, smelled like Garlic Mango Italian Oranges! In a word, it was BAD.

Open windows and the passage of time were all that cleared the warring aromas from their battlefield. Yet I wonder if that epic clash will ever truly be gone from my mind (supposedly sense of smell is most closely associated with memory and I don't see myslef forgetting the atrocity of that olfactory assault anytime soon). You'll all be relieved to know too that now that it's half empty, the RealEssence Mango Mandarin Wallflowers Continuous Home Fragrance Starter Kit is back to it's original light and non-overpowering fresh scent. And I still shop at Bath & Body. I really don't hate them or their products I just needed a randsane inspiration for my dramatic ravings and my explorations into the world of Sunless Tanning are a little too currently emabarassing to rant about just yet. 99% of this is just satiracal farce. So basically that's my disclaimer saying don't take me too seriously.


"RealEssence Mango Mandarin Wallflowers Continuous Home Fragrance Starter Kit"-fully Yours,

lisa :)


p.s. And the 1% that I actually meant to be serious involves my mom's garlic allergy, soft drink companies being obsessed with new products and the desire to always say "brats" like a true Dit-ka and Bears lovin' Chicagoan, (my friend).

LoL #50: It's Gold!

Why do they call it Ovaltine? The jar is round, the mug is round, they should call it ROUND-tine!
Or not.

Sorry. That's my random Seinfeld reference for those of you out there that understand why soup is not a meal and what that first line has to do with the subject of this LoL. And for those that are reading this and just going, "Huh???" all I have to say is "No soup for you!". Anyhoo, I made it to LoL#50!! So welcome I guess to the Golden LoL!!! (Actually this is pretty pathetic because had I stayed with this actually being a weekly thing I would be on #104 or something but that's kind of a scary thought so we'll just celebrate the first fifty and take it one rant at a time from here.)

It's Tuesday today and let me just state for the record that Monday gets a pretty bad rap because I highly aver that Tuesday mornings are hellishly worse. At least on the M-day you can roll into it with the thought of "Hey at least I got to sleep in yesterday". And by Wednesday the weekend is at least visible, but Tuesday it seems is without either saving grace.

Especially when you have Tuesdays like today when autumn's darkness does nothing to promote waking and the temperature outside is tragically barely approaching freezing. I've long believed that waking up is a process and not an event and it's days like today when that process takes considerably longer than it has any right to. So now is where you ask yourself, "Self, if lisa had such a hard time waking up, how did she possibly get to work early to write out this randomly pointless LoL?" The answer to that is as simple as it is delicious: Coffee.

I don't know who invented the stuff but it's pure liquid genius. I think I would've liked to have been there when someone started pulling beans off a plant and said "Hey maybe if we grind these suckers up, pour boiling water over 'em, .....add in some of that ground up cane plant ....and a little of that white stuff that came out 'o the cow... Whoooo-eeee! I think we got ourselves a drink!" Or maybe not but at the very least Juan Valdez should've won the Nobel Peace Prize decades ago.

In honor of my tribute to this hot caffeinated concoction I give you - both Good and Bad - The Top Ten Things That Could Never Have Happened Without Coffee: (Disclaimer: Okay so there's nothing accurate or scientifically correct about this list, it's just for amusement and yes, without coffee they all could have come about anyway. There is after all, such a thing as Mountain Dew)

(10) Travel Mugs - Now it might seem rather obvious that without coffee you wouldn't really need travel mugs but seriously, have you ever stopped to consider how many millions of dollars must be spent each year on the design and production of Travel Mugs? I think that - based on the uniqueness of colors, shapes, forms and the constant invention of newer and better temperature tolerant materials, plus the aerodynamics involved in spill proof, tip proof, scald proof, drink proof designs - the travel mug industry must have been birthed as an offshoot of Vogue meets NASA.

(9) Really Bad Commercials - I'm not trying to say that something as cruel as cramming Sarah Jessica Parker and Lenny Kravitz into thirty seconds of audio-visual tormentia is solely the fault of coffee but the execs over at GAP should at least have the courtesy to spare us from the type of psychedelic strutting your stuff in all our clothes will make you super cool propaganda that can drive anyone nuts. Either the producers of this half-minute trash have had way too much coffee and can't quite connect the common sense and action parts of their brains or they need a little bit more coffee to stop and think through such questions as "Why in the world would anyone layer eighteen tank tops when it's the middle of summer???"

(8) Toys 'R Us - Ah yes. The Happiest Place on Earth Where a Kid Can Be a Kid... Or is that the ShowBiz Pizza at DisneyWorld? Either way Chuck E. Cheese never stood a chance against Geoffrey the Giraffe. And Kay Bee? Don't even try! Toys 'R Us has to be the most caffeine and consumer and caffeinated-consumer inspired store ever to anchor the outskirts of the Fox Valley Mall. Toy stores were created with caffeine in mind and even now, I begrudgingly type this knowing that my keyboard can never give proper tribute to the backwards R sandwiched so elegantly between Toys and Us. Just don't go near there around Christmas time....

(7) Infomercials - Anyone who's seen a self-tanning accident with gaudy jewelry trying to sell you the world's most useless kitchen utensil at three in the morning knows exactly what I'm talking about. Coffee is certainly responsible because no decaf individual could possibly get that excited about a free tote bag and insomnia - caused by coffee - is the only reason an audience for these 90 minute flea markets even exists!

(6) Alternative Pop Music - Say what you want about the influence of Ecstasy and Mary Jane on today's rockin' youth I'm going to make a bold claim here that caffeine is responsible at least in part for the hyperactive nature of the rock videos that I've seen recently. I'm talking more about the Blink 182 crowd than the Brittney Backstreet waves of the early 2000's and I'll refrain from commenting on the irony of how a knock-off band like Good Charlotte makes it big with an anthem about not being like everyone else. (??!??!?) But with singers that speak quicker than senatorial spin doctors and can jump around more than a monkey on hot asphalt I honestly think caffeine must come into play somewhere.

(5) A Passing Grade On The Final Exam That You Didn't Study For Until 13 Hours Before The Test Began - That first late night cram session was probably how most of us got hooked on the delectable brew and all I can say is that from my experience, it was the start of a beautiful relationship!

(4) The Taster's Choice couple (and other psycho coffee commercial people) - Okay in all fairness I haven't seen the Taster's Choice couple around for the better part of the last twelve years but we can all look back with some fondness on the insanity of these ads. MAN: Darling, doesn't this coffee remind you of our vacation last summer? WOMAN: Oh yes, honey. You mean when we went to that sidewalk cafe in Paris? MAN: No that's what the Parisian Blend instant coffee reminds us of. This is the Swiss Chalet Roast. WOMAN: Oh you're right. Now that I taste it I definitely recall that hotel of ours in the Alps. MAN: Wasn't that a fun time? That great view of the mountains.... WOMAN: Hiking through the snow.... MAN: Fighting off that bear.... WOMAN: Using our last match to cauterize your massive skull wound.... MAN: Struggling with hypothermia after the search party found us.... WOMAN: And that really great coffee that they served when we were released from the hospital!! MAN & WOMAN: That was a great vacation! *kiss kiss kiss*

(3) My relationship with God - I had to throw in a serious one here because I know that some of the best Bible studies and most amazing things I've learned and taught about God and theology and Christian living have been in coffee shops and that's just cool. God and coffee - what can I say they make a great combo and are, in a nutshell, how I make it through the worst of my work days. ;)

(2) Astrophysics - I was reading this article in a science magazine about quantum physics versus the theory of relativity in trying to explain black holes and the potential for information to ever be released from them (what you thought I only read Dan Brown novels?!??) and it hit me just how deep astrophysics really is. And the more I thought about it the more I realized that it's one area of science that would vanish entirely - or at least cease to propagate - if not for the existence of caffeine. Not only is caffeine essential to getting your brain to work fast enough to follow the trains of thought from the great physicists of our time, but without caffeine none of us would stay awake long enough to even try.

(1) The LoL - It's long been assumed, stated, irrefutably proven that none of this insanity would ever be coming to you without the unbridled assistance of massive doses of caffeine. So if you like what you read, thank coffee, if you wish for my prolonged periods of incommunication, blame coffee. Regardless, you should drink coffee because you just never know what it will inspire next.

Cofeefully Yours,

lisa :)

LoL#49: Lime Green Spandex Monkeys

It's August 27th!!! Time to Celebrate!!! And for all of you that aren't Lauren (today's her 24th b-day) you can celebrate a very special 2nd Anniversary of The LoL!! (LoL= Life of Lisa, Lisa on Life, Lisa Online, Lawrence of L'Arabia....okay maybe not that last one...) But that's right friends! It's been two psychotic years of randsane quasi-deep thoughts littered with Matrix references and imaginary Celebrity Death Match pairings!! In honor of this momentous occasion I'm going to go buy some COTTON!!!!! WOOHOO COTTON!!!!!

(You know how "you learn something new every day"? Well, consider this your educational moment for those that aren't following me: According to some ancient books of wisdom and probably Hallmark too, the traditional anniversary gift for a second anniversary is cotton!! Granted, Hallmark has probably since changed this to say that the traditional gift for any aniversary is a Hallmark card but I guess they figure you'll buy a card to go with your cotton studded gift. In fact it could even say "Happy Anniversary! I hope it's not Rotten. I heard it's your second, so I bought you some Cotton!" *****Pause as Lisa considers a career change to Hallmark Greeting Card Writer***** Hmmm...maybe after we cure cancer....)

What's that??? Don't tell me you're not totally stoked about Cotton as a gift?!?!??

Just think.... I can go buy myself some cotton balls!!!
Or maybe some Q-Tips!!!!!
Some yarn, perhaps??

No make it a t-shirt!! Definitely a new t-shirt! And some SOCKS!!! YES! SOCKS!!! And then I can dance around like a spazz the way they do in the commercials while a little logo grows out of the center of the screen and says in that breathy commercial jingle voice "The Touch, The Feel of Cotton: The Fabric of our Lives"! SCORE!

But before I get too carried away - What's with that slogan anyway? Shouldn't time be the fabric of our lives? Or is that too metaphysical? I'm willing to accept that cloth can somehow act as an analogy for life but why Cotton? Puh-lease!! I'm almost offended that the commercial would insinuate that something as normal and ordinary as cotton could represent the "fabric" of MY life!

Can't Spun Silk be the fabric of my life? That would be pretty posh.... Oh wait I just remembered that I read something on MSN about how silkworms spin cocoons of one continuous thread of silk that when unwound can reach lengths of up to 3000 feet - and as cool as that is I don't know that I want the fabric of my life to be woven from something that originated in a worm's butt. Cancel that idea but I'm still not saying the fabric of my life is cotton. It's just too plain. Too standard. I'm not living the cotton life.

I'm probably living more of a Rayon-Poly Blend with 1-3% Spandex. And I'm probably some weird brightly colored fabric too. I'm like that bolt that you find on the endcap of the fabric aisle that's so retro it's cool and usually classified in the "Kids" section just because it's too wild and spastic for anyone over the age of 30 to take seriously. None of these primary colors that you see on the TV commercials. It's orange and lime green or hot pink and electric blue with the colors jutted up against each other so that when you stare at it you get that weird illusion that the shapes (which in my case would be monkeys) are moving of their own accord. Lime Green Spandex Monkeys. Yeah, that's a little more me.

Or maybe not. But at least it's not cotton. Happy 2nd LoL Anniversary everyone, have fun, keep smiling and thanks for reading!

Lime Green Spandex Monkeyfully Yours,

lisa :)


p.s. This message is brought to you by Taco Bell and the genius invention that is the New Blue Mountain Dew. Just when you thought Code Red was as good as it gets - they introduce Baja Blast. Thank you Pepsi-Cola!!

p.p.s. For those of you that missed out on any of the randsanity that the past two years have inspired, stop by and visit The Archive at ***edited: http://bloggerarrow.blogspot.com ***

p.p.p.s. Sorry I stink at remembering birthdays too - I owe a ton of shoutouts:
July & August birthdays: Beth, Agnes, Emily, Kris, Jason, Jessica, & Lauren (and I know I'm forgetting some too - I'M SORRY!!!)
And one more random shoutout to Kristy cause I have to tell you that my sister met Bebo Norman!!

LoL#44: Happy New Monkey Year!

Before I say anything, it's time for some shoutouts!!!! First to Chriskapher and Skirv Dog - I figure I'd go ahead and add y'all to my list of monthly lisa updates (LoL = Lisa on Life or Life of Lisa or Lisa Online or something like that). Be warned that it's as random as I am but if you like what you read check out the archive - ****edit: http://bloggerarrow.blogspot.com ***** - and see what you missed. On the other hand, if you find this to be an annoyance to your daily life and consider it to be one more piece of meaningless spam, let me know that too and you can get off the list. Next shoutouts go to the January birthday people and while I'm at it I'll go ahead and mention the Feb's too so that if I've forgotten anyone (and I'm sure I have - DOH!) you can let me know and you'll get a s.o. in February. So let's see that's James L, Igor K, Heidi E, Katie B, Danny S, and my sweetie Tony G (who'll be blushing now that I called him "my sweetie" - hee hee).

So......Happy New Year because this is the first LoL of 2004 (yes it really is already 2004!!) and Happy New Monkey Year because a week ago was Chinese New Year and it's the Year of the Monkey!! Like many of you other soon to be 24-year olds I was born in 1980 also a Year of the Monkey and supposedly it's a good luck thing to be born under that sign. Am I lucky? Sure. Am I any luckier than the myriad of people I know also born in that same year? Nah. But I figure monkeys usually sybolize fun, silly, clever creativty so let's just say heck with any horoscope superstitions and we can all just have a Monkey kind of year. Besides, my year was off to a rather chaotic start (got mono, missed two weeks of work, my dog got killed by a hit and run driver...) so hopefully now that it's the New MONKEY Year things will be a little more "normal".

But back to the subject of the new year, I was looking back at last January and I realized that I actually was fairly successful at all three of my New Year's Resolutions. I figured that after a year like that I deserved a break so I immediately resolved not to make any New Year's resolutions and then got mad at myself for failing already. But seriously, what is it about the new year that makes people so anxious for change? Is it the whole "turning over a new leaf" deal? I cringe everytime I hear people invoke that analogy. There's something inherently foolish about believing that a new day week or year can simply erase the previous. The difference between 2003 and 2004 is a simple case of 24 hours. There really is no magic in the ball dropping over Times Square (although there is something decidedly suspicious about Mr Fountain of Youth, Dick Clark...). Perhaps the whole resolution mess can be attributed to the curse of saying "there's always next year". Aside from the Cubs fans that still want a price on Steve Bartman's head, is this really something anyone should say? Don't try again next year, do something NOW! Life's too short. Maybe the audition, the game, the test, is next year, but ask yourself, what can I do for it now? New Year's Resolutions have to be about an attitude change and you'd better believe that the dead of winter could be one of the most challenging times to initiate changes within ourselves. Why not have Mid-Year resolutions? The summer sun would be a much more encouraging time to decide to start a new hobby and what better motivator for breaking a bad habit than the increasing hours of daylight in May and June?

As for me, I'm not really resolving to change anything about myself right now. Yeah I could go down the same list as everyone - healthier food, more excercise, less caffeine, saner thinking - but with the exception of actually eliminating my entire caffeine consumption (which, trust me, AIN'T gonna happen!), none of these goals can ever be actualized. There will always be a healthier diet, there will always be a few more pounds to shed, there will always be saner thoughts than those that I think. Is it all fruitless? Meaningless? Nah. Goals have purpose but they're so much easier to grasp daily or even weekly. Monthly, maybe, if you're really ambitious - but a yearly thing? Are we in that much of hurry to get through life???

So, you ask, what IS lisa looking for this year??

In a word, ADVENTURE!!!! Not adventure as in lisa's life as a Jerry Bruckheimer film (although Pirates of the Carribbean would be cool... YARR!!), I mean adventure as in new experiences. I'm not planning any world traveling. I'm not even planning any in the country traveling. But there resides inside me a desperate fear of the static and mundane. In my book "routine" should be a four letter word! I'm looking back at 2003 and the year held a lot of firsts. Meeting new people, doing new things, learning new skills, reading new books, hearing new bands, trying new foods, going new places - a whole hodgepodge of experiences that I had previously never experienced! Some of you may read this and be further convinced of my mental instability. You see nothing pleasurable about The New and The Different and may attribute this whole rant to the fact that I've been cooped up with mono for too long. But I'm the kind who never orders the same menu item twice (unless it's coconut shrimp....) - I thrive on the chaos of unpredicability. I'm hoping that 2004 will be as thrilling as 03 and I fully intend to do everything in my power to make it so!

Here's hoping that this year's adventures will include you and if not, may you have plenty of your own!


Adventurefully Yours,

lisa :)


p.s. To S.P. who's right there with me - and encouraging me - to try anything once!! You really are the kind of friend that makes life more fun!!