Friends, it is with great blankness and an empty mind that I possibly regret to inform you all that my creativity has ceased to exist. I cannot for sure place an exact date or time to the departure of the creative random psychoses that has given rise to such great debates as "Cooler miniscule sidekicks: Ewoks or Oompa Loompas?" and "Who would win in a fight: Ian McKellan as Gandalf or Ian McKellan as Magneto?" but I find that my creative inspirations have waned. Long gone are the days when I could weekly greet you all with a description of my typical day through the perspective of my sense of smell and no more can I conceive of such gems of uniqueness such as interviewing myself as a late night talk show host.
Someone once said that there are no new ideas in the world anymore - that every so-called unique concept is, in essence, an old idea simply clothed in a new format. If this year's summer movie lineup is not evidence of the truth to that statement, perhaps then, the mere fact that I am quoting some anonymous person who said it makes it some type of self-validating factoid of truth. I know that some of you reading this will be eager to bring up my use of such phrases as "self-validating factoid of truth" as defense of my lingering creativity. You may desire to suggest that my creativity is more akin to a missing person than to a dearly departed. I admire these sentiments with all of the optimism a stoic can muster but I am compelled to explain to you that I have nothing to say.
But let us not view this as a sad point.
Instead, let us remember together that the very foundations on which the LoL's were conceived is the principle that I have never had anything of importance to say and yet have refused to adhere to the age old addage of "If you don't have anything to say, keep your mouth shut". (In my defense too, I must point out that in truth, my mouth is shut and it is only my fingers on a keyboard that have released my insanity to you). Even now, as I approach what may be debated as the fourth or fifth paragraph of this e-mail I am gladdened by the fact that I have said close to nothing in the most creative way possible. The spirit of creativity does indeed live on regardless of the fact that any suitable topic for my rambling eludes me.
One might suggest that the topic of my rambling should be myself. You may be asking yourself: Self, what has been going on in the crazy life of Lisa B lately? But there comes a point where I just flat out tire of talking all about me. Besides, my life -or lack there of- is boring. Seriously. Not that I don't love it (Movie quote du jour: "I love being me. Ask anyone!") but let's take a quick peak at the highlights of the last week of my life: Monday - started working on a double plasmid SPARC transfection with a tet on/off system ; Tuesday - hectic work day, went wallclimbing to blow off steam and excercise ; Wednesday - went to the Taste of Chicago, spent the evening wandering Chi-town and eating yummy food (CHEESECAKE!!!), went to a late show of Terminator 3 and got in free cause of spiffy manager friends from Cantera ; Thursday - got my MCAT results, got over subsequent self-loathing and disappointment, realized that I was being too hard on myself but spent most of the evening rethinking the plans of my life, stayed up waaaaaay too late hanging with spiffy people and watching Alien Resurrection on USA, packed to go to Michigan, planned to take hour nap before leaving at 5 am for MI ; Friday - recieved call from mom at 3:30 just as I was heading to bed that we were leaving at 4 instead of 5 , stayed up entire car trip talking to parents, arrived in Michigan sleep deprived yet hyperily caffinated, hung out with spiffy cousins ; Saturday - more hanging with spiffy cousins, swimming boating, reading, relaxing ; Sunday - same as Saturday plus sunburn ; Monday - headed back from Michigan, unpacked, chilled out ; Tuesday - back to trying to understand the complexities of tet on/off systems and their applications in double transfection experiments.
See what I mean? I have no life. I have nothing to ramble about! I have nothing to be creatively funny about!! I have absolutely nothing to say!!
p.s. Where inspiration ends, satire begins.
p.p.s. SHOUTOUT TIME!!!! First off big Happy Birthday Shoutouts to Emily H, Beth T, and Agnes Z who in the month of July will be turning 23, 24, and 25 respectively. Also a shoutout to Jason and Jessica Jigga-M! Sorry I missed the wedding but love and congratualtions to you both!! Next, I don't want to take away the right to spread her own news too so a shoutout to a super spiffy friend that recently got engaged - yeah, you know who you are - love ya lots, girl!! And even though I still say you've had too many shoutouts of your own lately I also said that anyone who asks for a shoutout will get one - my last very special shoutout is for Adrien Brody (and no, the REAL Mr. Brody isn't on my list, but he makes someone happy who is on this list and I needed to prove that I'm really not the Shoutout Nazi!).
p.p.p.s. For anyone who knows why it's hilariously cool and funny during one breakfast in Michigan, Jenny and Beth were quoting Eddie Izzard: "Cake or Death??" "Uhhh...Cake please!" "Cake or death??" "Cake please!" "HAHHA We're out of cake!!" "So you mean my only choice is 'OR DEATH?'??" hee hee funny stuff :)
10 months ago