Here's an article for all the bibliophiles out there. In a literary parody contest in LA, authors were asked to submit their imaginary worst first sentence of a novel. I've been trying to concoct what my own entry would be and I guarantee it would not have come close to the winning gem submitted by Jim Guigli :
"Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean."What would your entry be?