My last e-mail was boring, sorry. I'm even sorrier for having spazzed on the send button and ended up sending it twice. I also didn't even get an LoL out last week. My abition for a weekly e-mail has become a bi-weekly thing (but I doubt that that fact bothers anyone and some of you are probably even glad for it). :p
But enough with the sorries. I should be Canadian because then I could sound much cooler by saying "soory" instead of "sorry" and if you don't know what I mean by that intonation of the Canadian accent just watch Jeopardy sometime cause Alex Trebek says it all the time. "Ooh, I'm soory, the answer we were looking for was What is Tashkann...." Or not. But alas, I'm back with another week (or every other week) of the insanity that is the so-called Life of Lisa. (applause, applause....yeah right!)
So I was walking into work the other day and there was a sign on the sidewalk kind of like a "Caution: Wet Floor!" but it said "Caution: Watch for Falling Ice!" (Some of you remember my descriptions of the extensive bridge like walkways that connect the multiple buildings of the hospital complex,) I guess with the weird freezing-thawing-freezing weather we've had there's been problems with massive icicles forming on the walkways over the streets and sidewalks and ensuing chaos caused when gravity works its wonders on said massive icicles. Needless to say my eyes were focused upwards as I walked into work with odd wonderings of having to use all my sick time to recover from the injuries sustained from being unsuspectingly impaled in the forehead by a falling icicle.
Yes, I'm strange like that sometimes. (Okay... LOTS of times....) Perhaps an even odder thought, though, is thinking about what happened to our escaped lab mouse. We were doing mice experiments last week and we had nine cages from the Vivarium brought into our lab because we were sacrificing the mice from three different experiments. (That's the scientific way of saying that we were killing and disecting 45 mice that had tumors or were controls for tumor experiments - it's all humanely done so don't go calling PETA on me). Anyway, we keep five mice in each cage but somehow in moving, shifting and rotating all the cages around trying to group all the mice by what experiment they went with, we think one got out. To quote Tina "There's only four in here.....uhhhh....close all the lab doors....." We never found the little guy either. I had a dream that night though that I got home from work, found him in my backpack, and decided to keep him as a pet. I even named him Placebo (which would be a really good name for an escaped lab mouse) but unfortunately I'm doubting that his real fate was anything near as pleasant as the one in my dream.
Speaking of weird dreams though, I have been having way too many lately. They're not your typical random dreams either. Like the missed the train and couldn't get to work dream. Or the panicked in the middle of the MCAT and couldn't even remember what eggs were dream. Or the hooked up with that guy from church dream. Or the back in college and living a normal life again dream. I'd take any of those. Instead I'm having freaky Paul Callan style dreams or all out absurd ones that usually wake me up in fits of laughter. And since I promised this to be a funny e-mail I have to tell y'all about the latter. Placebo the Lab Mouse was one in a long string of absurd dreams including one about Chicago - the movie, not the city - but the one I have to relate quickly is one about Blockbuster video.
*Cue Dream Sequence*
So me and two of my friends went out to Hollywood video and picked out a couple movies. I hand them to the clerk with my rental card and he says "Alright these're due back at noon" and I said "Noon? I thought I got them for five days??" And he said "No, that's Hollywood Video, this is Blockbuster." Which really confused my dream self because I walked into a Hollywood video. So I said "Oh I thought I was at Hollywood. So these are due back at noon tomorrow?" and he says "No, at noon today." And I say "But it's already 1pm!" And he says "Oh, then I guess they're overdue" and takes the movies away from me. That's when I woke myself up cause I was laughing out loud.
*End Dream Sequence*
The whole thing stemmed from being at Hollywood video the night I had the dream and having the clerk tell me that there was a late fee on the account. When I asked what movie he replied "Earth versus the Spider" (which was a B horror flick my dad rented) and I joked with the guy that of all the movies to be overdue it had to be one that was hideously embarrassing to admit to having been checked out on my account.
Now's the point of the e-mail where I revert to apologizing because this e-mail is way more psychotic and long than I originally intended but on the flip side I guess I owe you all a couple good laughs. I'm not quite sure too if it's going to be laughing with or at me, but most likely it's a bit of both.
p.s. Shoutouts to anyone who picked up on any of my bizzarre and obscure references in this e-mail. To explain a couple:
Since probably only two to four of you have any clue what the deal is with the Paul Callan reference, Paul Callan is this character (played by Skeet Ulrich) on the new Monday night ABC show Miracles. He's this X-Files type investigator of paranormal stuff (miraculous stuff instead of extra terrestrial) but he always has these freaky psycho dreams that usually in a twisted bizarre way relate to what's about to happen to him (which we -the audience- have decided 9 out of ten times is a near death experience). So yeah a lot of my dreams have been weird and eerie like that - minus the near death experience and X-Files'ish investigations. There's a little too much to explain there so I'll just say that yes, some new TV shows out there actually have these things called "writers" ;) and Miracles is a super cool show (Mondays @ 9Central on ABC). It has Angus McFayden in it too who was Sandra Bullock's boyfriend in Ya-Ya Sisterhood but is even more well known as Robert da Bruce from Braveheart - he's super cool. Oh and the other random reference was in the "Tashkant" mention and I probably spelled it wrong but it's from the Coca-Cola mini-film thing that used to be on all the AMC movies ("I'M A WINNER!!!!!!!") and there's only a few of you that will think that's funny and even fewer will find it funny that the bowl falls twice...hee hee. And there was also an obscure Summer School reference in forgetting what eggs are and the sentence after that is funny for another whole slew of reasons too. Some of you heard the details of my Chicago dream (those that haven't probably never will) but I'm going WAYYYYY too long on this ps! Love to all!!
10 months ago