Crop Walk for World Hunger

This past Sunday Tony and I participated in the Naperville Crop Walk! There were over 600 participants from churches throughout the community. Here's the picture of us with the other volunteers from our church. (We're in the middle of the back row - the flags all say Community Christian Church and our shirts say CROPWALK). Our church alone raised $2365, $210 was from Team Guerrero. :) 25% of the money goes to local food banks like Loaves and Fishes and the Northern Illinois Food Bank and the rest goes to an organization called Church World Services which helps with hunger relief around the world. Most of our group did the 5K walk but Tony and I, along with our friend Jeanene from our small group and another woman we met named Char from the Romeoville campus, went the full 10K route (it's just under 7 miles and we finished in about two hours). Throughout the walk they had signs posted with notes about world hunger and global poverty issues. Some of the most striking facts were that every 30 seconds a child dies of Malaria and that the US spends 33 billion a year on weight loss and diet products but only 10 billion a year on foreign aid. It was a very eye-opening walk and here's a huge thank you to everyone who sponsored us!

TGIF!

Quick bit du jour:
Good thing I ride Metra to work cause I think Amtrak would've asked me to check the bags under my eyes this morning. Two thoughts for the day:

(1) Dang, I love coffee!

(2) Thank God it's Friday! [And I mean that in every literal sense of the phrase possible.]

peace out & enjoy the weekend!

Hats off to this Ohio State fan!

So this is a story I got in an e-mail about an OSU grad but I think all my Illini and MSU friends will get a kick out of it too. (And to any U of M readers... hope you have a good sense of humor).

A recent graduate of The Ohio State University moved to Dearborn, Michigan when she landed a great job with a company located there. After becoming a citizen of Michigan, she felt almost as if she had betrayed her Ohio background and ancestry. She had an apartment with a Michigan address, and she winced whenever she looked at her Michigan driver's license. When it came time to register her vehicle she had an idea. She'd get personalized plates and make things right.

The personalized license plate for her car arrived, and she beamed as she installed them. She was so proud she sent an instant message to her father right away. He too was a proud Ohio State alumnus.

"Daddy," she typed. "I'm so excited! I got new, personalized plates for my Mini today. They're University of Michigan plates!" "WHAT?" he replied. "You have to be joking!"

"Nope, I'm totally serious. Let me send you the image." Her father couldn't stop laughing after he viewed the picture of her car.

(Sorry the picture's a little fuzzy - I'm still learning - but you get the idea.)

Also I wanted to say that my last post was called Genesis because it was the begining. I couldn't think of anything creative to call it so I went with Genesis not to be confused with Geonosis because Genesis is the first book of the Bible where as Geonosis is the planet of freaky termite aliens in Star Wars Episode II.

Genesis

Okay. Let's pretend we're playing Pyramid here:

I say: The second coming of Christ... A good Illini football team... Less reality TV shows.... Christmas... Your next paycheck... Cubs baseball in October... A blog by lisa...

And you say: THINGS I'VE BEEN WAITING FOREVER FOR!!!!

All I have to say is you asked for it. From here on out let the randsanity begin.

Notes about naming:
Random + Insanity = Randsanity
Blog + Guerrero = Blogger Arrow

By the way I've never really blogged before (Duh!) so if this is majorly not worth reading I apologize. And eventually there will be pictures and hyperlinks and all that goody good stuff. Patience people. It'll happen. Think of this blog as a fine wine, it'll only get better with age.

But to start off my ponderings I noticed the other day that the cryogenic vials we use in the lab to store cells at -70 C and below are made by Nalgene. And we thought they only made water bottles! I mean, seriously folks, is there anything this company can't do? I think whoever started this technology has got to be pretty smart. In fact I'd even go so far as to call him or her a Nal-genius.

LoL#54: Multitasking while Multitasking

So I'm back. I know it's been a long time and for those of you that actually read these, sorry to disappoint. I don't know if I've just been overly busy lately or just uninspired, but work's been a bear so I haven't had much time to spew all my crazy ponderings into an e-mail for y'all. Not that today is much slower, but I tend to have these brief breaks throughout my day (waiting for centrifuges to spin, purification columns to drip, cells to plate, etc....) and I thought maybe I could string a bunch of breaks together to create something of a coherent e-mail. But before I continue I have to go warm up my cell media in the water bath. Be right back....

....Okay where was I.... Oh yeah I wanted to tell you all about my super spiffy trip to Washington D.C.!! It was way cool. Tony just changed jobs and he had a week vacation paid out from his old job so I took some time off and we went to visit his dad in DC. We spent most of the trip museum hopping which was quite convenient since there were no lines and everything was free. I'll give you the play by play of what we saw/did in one sentence but keep in mind this was over four days: Dulles Airport, Natural History Museum, President Bush (in his limo), Sculpture Garden, White House, US Treasury, White House Visitor Center, Washington Monument, Smithsonian Castle, rode the metro, coffee with Barack Obama & Dick Durbin (IL senators), Senate gallery tour, Botanic Gardens, Air & Space Museum, American History Museum, Chinatown, Lincoln Memorial, Vietnam Memorial, Korean War Memorial, WWII Memorial, Arlington National Cemetery, Arlington House, Air & Space Museum Annex, and back to Dulles Airport. It was an awesomely full trip! Now that things are more routine again - actually my centrifuge just beeped. Hold on....

Sorry. I'm purifying SPARC (it's a protein... 'nuff said) today which means every 20 minutes I have to add more PBS to the columns in the centrifuge. I'm also running a proliferation assay which requires a one hour incubation after adding reagents to my cells followed by two plate reader applications. And then I'm treating a different plate of cells with two different growth factors and eight dilutions of SPARC. As well as answering the phone, signing for packages, placing orders, refilling tips, checking on mice, etc. etc. etc. Hence (as you noticed from the title) I dedicate this LoL to all of you considered to be Masters of Multitasking!! But seriously, people, what's the deal with Multitasking anyway??? Doesn't it really just indicate that -

*phone call*

- we're all just overworked? That's what interviewers want these days is a "Multitasker" which basically means they want to hire the person who will do the most things at once. How crazy is that?!?!?? I'm certain that once upon a time it was quite acceptable and perhaps even applauded to compile a "To Do" list and methodically check off the items one by one, yet in this day and age we would call someone like that slow and inefficient. This is the Age of The Multitasker. And note we're not looking for Dualtaskers or Tritaskers, no we want MULTI!! The more the better! In fact even e-mail has thrived because I can send a message to all 43 of you with the click of a single button. But let's not stop there. Consider if you will a grand phenomenon known as The Lunch Meeting. No, you can't take precious time out of your work day to do something as mundane (and hopefully relaxing) as eating lunch. That would be a waste of time! Instead we need to -

*sorry had to show our new medical fellow where the syringes are kept*

- use that precious lunch hour for more business!! And then there's the more overlooked expanders of multitasking. Take for example voice mail. It's no longer good enough just to talk to someone on the phone. We need the capability to take someone ELSE'S call while we're talking. Or even worse is Call Waiting. When you utter that sweet little "Hold Please" aren't you basically just -

*centrifuge again*

- telling the person on the line that you'd rather be talking to someone else? And how about the brilliant invention that is the TiVo? Granted most people have some generic cable company provided DVR system but everyone calls them all TiVo's anyway. And I like how "TiVo" is suddenly an acceptable verb as in "I won't be home to watch Lost tonight, could you TiVo it for me?" That cracks me up. But I digress, the genius of this product is that you can tape one thing and watch something else. Even in something as purely leisurous as TV watching, we've found a way to multitask.

Anyhoo, I have a point here *shocking isn't it?* and I just remembered what it was. See, I was talking to a pastor friend of mine the other day about taking some time out from all the work I've been doing at church. I'm no longer going to be leading a small group of high school students and am transitioning into working more with the service ministry (where Tony and I are both involved) and working to get students involved with service projects. But I was telling him that I've been feeling spread too thin and that in trying to do too many things I wasn't giving my full heart to any of it. He told me very simply "Sometimes you just have to focus on One Thing." I laughed rather cynically considering all that typically goes on in my life and replied "Easier said than done." But rather than accept my attitude he came back with "Better done than regretted." I think I at first took his comment to mean that I should just have one ministry in my life but when I thought about all that I care about in life (family, friends, work, church, self, home, etc etc etc), two things came to mind: God and Finger Eleven.

Let me explain. There's a Finger Eleven song that came out sometime last year and it's called "One Thing" and the lyrics to the chorus are : "If I traded it all, If I gave it all away for one thing... Just for one thing. If I sorted it out, If I knew all about this one thing, Wouldn’t that be something?" And in thinking about those lyrics I realized that God should and needs to be my One Thing. All the rest can be better cared about if that first part is true. What would life look like if instead of trying to do a million things for the church I "traded it all" for making God my priority? How much calmer and less hurried could I be "If I sorted it out" and "If I knew all about" God and His plans for me? As the song says "Wouldn't that be something?" So maybe this is where the truth and the good side of Multitasking comes in. We need to start with our One Thing. With that in focus we can handle everything else that we need to deal with. And maybe that is easier said than done, but I'm certain it's better done than regretted.

Multitaskfully Yours,

lisa :)

p.s. For those newbies on the list, sorry if this failed to amuse you. My last e-mail was all about an annoying air freshener so you can check out the archive for something more entertaining if you like.

p.p.s. Here's the full lyrics of the song for anyone who cares:
Restless tonight cause I wasted the light
Between both these times I drew a really thin line
It’s nothing I planned and not that I can
But you should be mine across that line

If I traded it all, If I gave it all away for one thing...
Just for one thing
If I sorted it out, If I knew all about this one thing
Wouldn’t that be something?

I promise I might not walk on by
Maybe next time but not this time
Even though I know I don’t want to know
Yeah... I guess I know I just hate how it sounds

If I traded it all, If I gave it all away for one thing...
Just for one thing
If I sorted it out, If I knew all about this one thing
Wouldn’t that be something?

LoL#53: Attack of the Killer Uh... Mangos

*******
Disclaimer: I wrote this LoL last month and wasn't going to send it on the sheer fact that I think it's really pointless and stupid, but in cleaning out my e-mail, I found it in my drafts folder and decided that all my LoL's are kinda pointless and stupid and if nothing else some of you might find this one mildly entertaining. If you're bored, that is. Really, really bored.... ;)
*******

I bought an air freshener the other day. A seemingly everyday occurrence, yes? No. Well, at least not for me. That is, it should have been a mundane everyday occurrence, but keep in mind, this is The LoL. Here's the Story:

Now that it's summer Tony and I have been doing the whole patio grilling thing for dinner. I'm as much a fan as anyone of summertime burgers, dogs, and brats (said with a Chicago accent to rhyme with "cats") but there's the slight issue that cooking with charcoal leaves our condo with a resultant Mesquite fragrance known to last longer than the time it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop. This in itself would not be too extreme a problem except that I've also discovered the joys of Italian cooking. Since I never grew up eating much garlic (my mom's allergic) I've only recently learned how delicious it is to cook with and also how the scent of it could rival post-atomic-war-cockroaches in a longevity contest! Long story short, the problem was that our condo was starting to gain the constant scent of the remnants of a char grilled Italian restaurant. The solution seemed easy enough - buy an air freshener. But that's when the real attack began.

It started at Bath & Body Works. If by some freak accident of modern consumerism none of you have ever been in a B&BW store, chances are you still have your sense of smell. (Men are excluded from the "freak accident of modern consumerism" theory, it's a girly store - although I'm guessing plenty of you Xy-ers have shopped there too...) I was in their store last week and counted at least a dozen different fragrances which means that by today they probably have eighteen or twenty. How can one individual be expected to process that much olfactory information at one time??? I'm serious, they are incessant about coming up with more scents. They're probably the only business that's more psychotic about new product invention than the soft drink industry (Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper - does one drink really need five words in it's name?!??!). But regardless, my condo was suffering in it's aromas of burned vesuvio and somehow I thought that Bath & Body Works might solve the problem. It's there that I had my first encounter with the "RealEssence Mango Mandarin Wallflowers Continuous Home Fragrance Starter Kit" (No joke, that's what it's called!)

I plugged it in as soon as I got home.

At first things were nice. Small wafts of fruity scented air caressed my nose when I woke up in the morning... Images of mangoes on a tropical island paradise gently greeted me after work... But then... it got stronger. And Stronger. And Stronger! After a week it had a mind of it's own - I'd open the door to a full on fruity assault! It was out of control! Then I realized how sneaky the packaging had been by sandwiching "Continuous" into a string of cutesy advertising words to fool the unsuspecting buyer into overlooking the fact that once you bring this Gremlin of an air freshener into your house it's going to take over everything! So I did what any sensible person would do - I fought back! (Okay maybe the sensible people would just unplug it but I might not quite fit into the sensible category and besides, what actually happened makes for a better story.)

I cooked! And not just any normal cooking. I cooked Italian. With garlic. Fresh Garlic - minced AND sautéed. (Okay in all fairness, I wasn't actually crazy enough to cook for the sole purpose of trying to wage war against an air freshener, but I had a really good recipe for pasta with clams in a white wine sauce and it specifically called for fresh garlic minced and sautéed.) By the end of the night VICTORY WAS MINE!! Our condo was once again smelling like Italia! Garlic, oregano, olive oil, white wine - THE WORKS!

Little did I suspect Mango Mandarin was not going down without a fight. I don't remember which scent prevailed the following morning, but after work the next day I came home to the worst scent ever! A truce was reached that neither could be stronger so our entire condo smelled very much like... both. Try if you can to imagine Garlic Mango Italian Oranges. I don't know why people even try to describe scents because if I tried to tell you what Garlic Mango Italian Oranges smell like all I can say is, smelled like Garlic Mango Italian Oranges! In a word, it was BAD.

Open windows and the passage of time were all that cleared the warring aromas from their battlefield. Yet I wonder if that epic clash will ever truly be gone from my mind (supposedly sense of smell is most closely associated with memory and I don't see myslef forgetting the atrocity of that olfactory assault anytime soon). You'll all be relieved to know too that now that it's half empty, the RealEssence Mango Mandarin Wallflowers Continuous Home Fragrance Starter Kit is back to it's original light and non-overpowering fresh scent. And I still shop at Bath & Body. I really don't hate them or their products I just needed a randsane inspiration for my dramatic ravings and my explorations into the world of Sunless Tanning are a little too currently emabarassing to rant about just yet. 99% of this is just satiracal farce. So basically that's my disclaimer saying don't take me too seriously.


"RealEssence Mango Mandarin Wallflowers Continuous Home Fragrance Starter Kit"-fully Yours,

lisa :)


p.s. And the 1% that I actually meant to be serious involves my mom's garlic allergy, soft drink companies being obsessed with new products and the desire to always say "brats" like a true Dit-ka and Bears lovin' Chicagoan, (my friend).

LoL #52: Are you breathing?

It's stating the obvious to say that life moves pretty fast but those of us 80's children can immediately finish off that phrase Ferris Bueller style by saying that if we don't stop to look around once in a while it's true that we might miss it. I have to point this out because it has been over two months since my last LoL and I find myself torn between two arguing schools of thought that say "Sit down and write to your friends!" and the opposing "You don't have time for piling the boring details of your life into a schlock-filled e-mail that won't get read anyway!"

Neddless to say the former school won out and here I am back at the rambling again. Here's the downside though, I really don't have time for this. Somehow in the past couple years life sped up on me. I don't know how or why time does this but each year, month, week, day has seemed to pass in half the typically expected time lately! I almost feel like I steped into Steven King's Dark Tower series where "time is a face on the water" and it's constantly changing with every ripple life throws my way but before I go too abstract I want to talk about a song I heard on the radio the other day. The lyrics are poetic yet perfectly profound when they state:

"You can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
and life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button now
So just cradle your head in your hands
And breathe. Just breathe."

I don't know if anyone else relates to this but there are no do-overs in life and there's an adequate analogy in the idea of an hourglass glued to the table. You can't flip it. Once the sands fall, that's it. And there is no rewind button. We're the VHS versus Beta generation but our lives don't run like that - in fact it seems often our only choices are play or fast forward. But what I like even more about the song is that it doesn't offer a protest that time slipping away from us is unfair or even a plea to make the most of the moments we have - instead there's just a simple instruction to breathe. Just breathe. It's so simple yet I found myself asking myself "Self, have you been breathing lately??"

I don't mean the literal breathing of course. I would be the nightly news's latest medical freak if I was writing e-mails sans oxygen. As cool as it could be to have Chopper Five come land on my lawn, I'm talking about breathing with my life instead of my lungs. It's the idea of having time out moments to reflect and enjoy each new experience in life. Instead of living the fast paced SSDD (same stuff, different day) lifestyle it's recognizing that no two days will ever be identical and each one has a flavor all its own and it's that variety that's meant to be please us. Some would call it living a life with margin. The same way we print out paper with blank spaces on the borders, we also need blank space in our life, so that things aren't overcrowded and if necessary there's room to add in more.

I like writing these LoL's. I think it's my way to stop and take a breath. To reflect and often laugh at whatever's been happening in my life. Yeah, most days are about the same. But then there's the ones where you make a fool of yourself on the train. (When it's a really busy evening sometimes the only available seats are on the stairwells and usually there's room enough for two people - one on the top part, one towards the bottom - and on one such busy day I approached a gentleman sitting on a lower stair and in my tongue tied no-seats-open flustered state I combined "Can I sit on the top stair?" and "Could I sit above you there?" and the question came out as "Could I sit on top of you there?" He looked pretty embarrassed to have me seemingly request his lap but then chuckled and allowed me access to the top step where I sat down and it occurred to me what exactly I had said.) Regardless of whether it's a routine day or an abnormal one, without breathing they'll all seem the same. Since it's almost St. Patty's day, too, I'll use an Irish-tinted metaphor to wrap up this idea. You'll never find the four leaf clover if all you see is a field of shamrocks.


Breathingfully Yours,

lisa :)

LoL #51: Hits and Mrs!

Hi! Hi!! HI!!!!!

Wow! It's been so long since I've had the time to write one of these I don't even know where to begin! (Actually the Christmas LoL still remains in my Drafts box unfinished and unsent... oops! Uhh.... Happy Belated Holidays!!!) But yeah the season kind of got away from me.... there was this whole wedding thing going on.... :)

[Gushing time: Yeah! I got married! The wedding was awesome - you can check out some of the pics if you want at geocities.com/lisawedding05 There's something really nuts about having gotten married on Dec. 31st too because you know that adjustment that comes with every January when you can't rember what year it is and you still write the old year on your checks? Well imagine that except I got a new year, address, phone number and NAME!!! Talk about mass confusion!! I'm a Guerrero - forever elbakerone but now with a new last name and place to live! Which reminds me for anyone who's missing the new addy it's ***edited for privacy*** new phone number's at the bottom in my sig file. But I'm not going to make any cheesy overly corny statements about the dramatic differences in my life now that I'm married a la "Marraige has taught me a whole new definition of the word love!!!" Puke puke gag and barf! That's so not me. Only thing I will say is that Tony remains a true best friend but now bears the title of husband as well! And I'll also say that Maui rocked my world. Go there. It's awesome. Enough said.]

But yeah now it's back to life *somewhat* as usual. I got majorly sick last weekend (thank you Chicago winter!) but I'm feeling better now except that lately I'm a ticking time bomb of static electricity. I don't know that those facts are at all related but when have I ever needed an excuse for a not so smooth transition? But yeah, about the static thing - it's really awful. I'm like the guy in Office Space who's been cruelly conditioned to hesitate before touching the door handle and have been shocking myself on anything and everything metallic that I contact in the lab, condo, car, bus or train. If there were some way to harness all this electricity I think I could make bigger headlines than the new Ford Escape Hybrid for my contributions towards the elimination of our country's dependance on fossil fuels.

On a totally unrelated note (oh sure act surprised) you all need to go see the movie Hotel Rowanda and you all need to take everyone you know to go see this movie too. It's one of the most powerful films I've seen in years and by ashamedly admitting how ignorant of world events I was in the 90's I'll say it's an eye-opener and deserves every Oscar it's nominated for (especially for acting! Don Cheadle: who knew?!?!???).

I guess I'll keep this breif for now since it's been so long since y'all have heard anything from me and you might have grown unaccustomed to my ramblings. Hope all is great with all of you and that your 2005 is off to a terriffic start!

Guerrerofully Yours,

lisa :)

LoL #50: It's Gold!

Why do they call it Ovaltine? The jar is round, the mug is round, they should call it ROUND-tine!
Or not.

Sorry. That's my random Seinfeld reference for those of you out there that understand why soup is not a meal and what that first line has to do with the subject of this LoL. And for those that are reading this and just going, "Huh???" all I have to say is "No soup for you!". Anyhoo, I made it to LoL#50!! So welcome I guess to the Golden LoL!!! (Actually this is pretty pathetic because had I stayed with this actually being a weekly thing I would be on #104 or something but that's kind of a scary thought so we'll just celebrate the first fifty and take it one rant at a time from here.)

It's Tuesday today and let me just state for the record that Monday gets a pretty bad rap because I highly aver that Tuesday mornings are hellishly worse. At least on the M-day you can roll into it with the thought of "Hey at least I got to sleep in yesterday". And by Wednesday the weekend is at least visible, but Tuesday it seems is without either saving grace.

Especially when you have Tuesdays like today when autumn's darkness does nothing to promote waking and the temperature outside is tragically barely approaching freezing. I've long believed that waking up is a process and not an event and it's days like today when that process takes considerably longer than it has any right to. So now is where you ask yourself, "Self, if lisa had such a hard time waking up, how did she possibly get to work early to write out this randomly pointless LoL?" The answer to that is as simple as it is delicious: Coffee.

I don't know who invented the stuff but it's pure liquid genius. I think I would've liked to have been there when someone started pulling beans off a plant and said "Hey maybe if we grind these suckers up, pour boiling water over 'em, .....add in some of that ground up cane plant ....and a little of that white stuff that came out 'o the cow... Whoooo-eeee! I think we got ourselves a drink!" Or maybe not but at the very least Juan Valdez should've won the Nobel Peace Prize decades ago.

In honor of my tribute to this hot caffeinated concoction I give you - both Good and Bad - The Top Ten Things That Could Never Have Happened Without Coffee: (Disclaimer: Okay so there's nothing accurate or scientifically correct about this list, it's just for amusement and yes, without coffee they all could have come about anyway. There is after all, such a thing as Mountain Dew)

(10) Travel Mugs - Now it might seem rather obvious that without coffee you wouldn't really need travel mugs but seriously, have you ever stopped to consider how many millions of dollars must be spent each year on the design and production of Travel Mugs? I think that - based on the uniqueness of colors, shapes, forms and the constant invention of newer and better temperature tolerant materials, plus the aerodynamics involved in spill proof, tip proof, scald proof, drink proof designs - the travel mug industry must have been birthed as an offshoot of Vogue meets NASA.

(9) Really Bad Commercials - I'm not trying to say that something as cruel as cramming Sarah Jessica Parker and Lenny Kravitz into thirty seconds of audio-visual tormentia is solely the fault of coffee but the execs over at GAP should at least have the courtesy to spare us from the type of psychedelic strutting your stuff in all our clothes will make you super cool propaganda that can drive anyone nuts. Either the producers of this half-minute trash have had way too much coffee and can't quite connect the common sense and action parts of their brains or they need a little bit more coffee to stop and think through such questions as "Why in the world would anyone layer eighteen tank tops when it's the middle of summer???"

(8) Toys 'R Us - Ah yes. The Happiest Place on Earth Where a Kid Can Be a Kid... Or is that the ShowBiz Pizza at DisneyWorld? Either way Chuck E. Cheese never stood a chance against Geoffrey the Giraffe. And Kay Bee? Don't even try! Toys 'R Us has to be the most caffeine and consumer and caffeinated-consumer inspired store ever to anchor the outskirts of the Fox Valley Mall. Toy stores were created with caffeine in mind and even now, I begrudgingly type this knowing that my keyboard can never give proper tribute to the backwards R sandwiched so elegantly between Toys and Us. Just don't go near there around Christmas time....

(7) Infomercials - Anyone who's seen a self-tanning accident with gaudy jewelry trying to sell you the world's most useless kitchen utensil at three in the morning knows exactly what I'm talking about. Coffee is certainly responsible because no decaf individual could possibly get that excited about a free tote bag and insomnia - caused by coffee - is the only reason an audience for these 90 minute flea markets even exists!

(6) Alternative Pop Music - Say what you want about the influence of Ecstasy and Mary Jane on today's rockin' youth I'm going to make a bold claim here that caffeine is responsible at least in part for the hyperactive nature of the rock videos that I've seen recently. I'm talking more about the Blink 182 crowd than the Brittney Backstreet waves of the early 2000's and I'll refrain from commenting on the irony of how a knock-off band like Good Charlotte makes it big with an anthem about not being like everyone else. (??!??!?) But with singers that speak quicker than senatorial spin doctors and can jump around more than a monkey on hot asphalt I honestly think caffeine must come into play somewhere.

(5) A Passing Grade On The Final Exam That You Didn't Study For Until 13 Hours Before The Test Began - That first late night cram session was probably how most of us got hooked on the delectable brew and all I can say is that from my experience, it was the start of a beautiful relationship!

(4) The Taster's Choice couple (and other psycho coffee commercial people) - Okay in all fairness I haven't seen the Taster's Choice couple around for the better part of the last twelve years but we can all look back with some fondness on the insanity of these ads. MAN: Darling, doesn't this coffee remind you of our vacation last summer? WOMAN: Oh yes, honey. You mean when we went to that sidewalk cafe in Paris? MAN: No that's what the Parisian Blend instant coffee reminds us of. This is the Swiss Chalet Roast. WOMAN: Oh you're right. Now that I taste it I definitely recall that hotel of ours in the Alps. MAN: Wasn't that a fun time? That great view of the mountains.... WOMAN: Hiking through the snow.... MAN: Fighting off that bear.... WOMAN: Using our last match to cauterize your massive skull wound.... MAN: Struggling with hypothermia after the search party found us.... WOMAN: And that really great coffee that they served when we were released from the hospital!! MAN & WOMAN: That was a great vacation! *kiss kiss kiss*

(3) My relationship with God - I had to throw in a serious one here because I know that some of the best Bible studies and most amazing things I've learned and taught about God and theology and Christian living have been in coffee shops and that's just cool. God and coffee - what can I say they make a great combo and are, in a nutshell, how I make it through the worst of my work days. ;)

(2) Astrophysics - I was reading this article in a science magazine about quantum physics versus the theory of relativity in trying to explain black holes and the potential for information to ever be released from them (what you thought I only read Dan Brown novels?!??) and it hit me just how deep astrophysics really is. And the more I thought about it the more I realized that it's one area of science that would vanish entirely - or at least cease to propagate - if not for the existence of caffeine. Not only is caffeine essential to getting your brain to work fast enough to follow the trains of thought from the great physicists of our time, but without caffeine none of us would stay awake long enough to even try.

(1) The LoL - It's long been assumed, stated, irrefutably proven that none of this insanity would ever be coming to you without the unbridled assistance of massive doses of caffeine. So if you like what you read, thank coffee, if you wish for my prolonged periods of incommunication, blame coffee. Regardless, you should drink coffee because you just never know what it will inspire next.

Cofeefully Yours,

lisa :)

LoL#49: Lime Green Spandex Monkeys

It's August 27th!!! Time to Celebrate!!! And for all of you that aren't Lauren (today's her 24th b-day) you can celebrate a very special 2nd Anniversary of The LoL!! (LoL= Life of Lisa, Lisa on Life, Lisa Online, Lawrence of L'Arabia....okay maybe not that last one...) But that's right friends! It's been two psychotic years of randsane quasi-deep thoughts littered with Matrix references and imaginary Celebrity Death Match pairings!! In honor of this momentous occasion I'm going to go buy some COTTON!!!!! WOOHOO COTTON!!!!!

(You know how "you learn something new every day"? Well, consider this your educational moment for those that aren't following me: According to some ancient books of wisdom and probably Hallmark too, the traditional anniversary gift for a second anniversary is cotton!! Granted, Hallmark has probably since changed this to say that the traditional gift for any aniversary is a Hallmark card but I guess they figure you'll buy a card to go with your cotton studded gift. In fact it could even say "Happy Anniversary! I hope it's not Rotten. I heard it's your second, so I bought you some Cotton!" *****Pause as Lisa considers a career change to Hallmark Greeting Card Writer***** Hmmm...maybe after we cure cancer....)

What's that??? Don't tell me you're not totally stoked about Cotton as a gift?!?!??

Just think.... I can go buy myself some cotton balls!!!
Or maybe some Q-Tips!!!!!
Some yarn, perhaps??

No make it a t-shirt!! Definitely a new t-shirt! And some SOCKS!!! YES! SOCKS!!! And then I can dance around like a spazz the way they do in the commercials while a little logo grows out of the center of the screen and says in that breathy commercial jingle voice "The Touch, The Feel of Cotton: The Fabric of our Lives"! SCORE!

But before I get too carried away - What's with that slogan anyway? Shouldn't time be the fabric of our lives? Or is that too metaphysical? I'm willing to accept that cloth can somehow act as an analogy for life but why Cotton? Puh-lease!! I'm almost offended that the commercial would insinuate that something as normal and ordinary as cotton could represent the "fabric" of MY life!

Can't Spun Silk be the fabric of my life? That would be pretty posh.... Oh wait I just remembered that I read something on MSN about how silkworms spin cocoons of one continuous thread of silk that when unwound can reach lengths of up to 3000 feet - and as cool as that is I don't know that I want the fabric of my life to be woven from something that originated in a worm's butt. Cancel that idea but I'm still not saying the fabric of my life is cotton. It's just too plain. Too standard. I'm not living the cotton life.

I'm probably living more of a Rayon-Poly Blend with 1-3% Spandex. And I'm probably some weird brightly colored fabric too. I'm like that bolt that you find on the endcap of the fabric aisle that's so retro it's cool and usually classified in the "Kids" section just because it's too wild and spastic for anyone over the age of 30 to take seriously. None of these primary colors that you see on the TV commercials. It's orange and lime green or hot pink and electric blue with the colors jutted up against each other so that when you stare at it you get that weird illusion that the shapes (which in my case would be monkeys) are moving of their own accord. Lime Green Spandex Monkeys. Yeah, that's a little more me.

Or maybe not. But at least it's not cotton. Happy 2nd LoL Anniversary everyone, have fun, keep smiling and thanks for reading!

Lime Green Spandex Monkeyfully Yours,

lisa :)


p.s. This message is brought to you by Taco Bell and the genius invention that is the New Blue Mountain Dew. Just when you thought Code Red was as good as it gets - they introduce Baja Blast. Thank you Pepsi-Cola!!

p.p.s. For those of you that missed out on any of the randsanity that the past two years have inspired, stop by and visit The Archive at ***edited: http://bloggerarrow.blogspot.com ***

p.p.p.s. Sorry I stink at remembering birthdays too - I owe a ton of shoutouts:
July & August birthdays: Beth, Agnes, Emily, Kris, Jason, Jessica, & Lauren (and I know I'm forgetting some too - I'M SORRY!!!)
And one more random shoutout to Kristy cause I have to tell you that my sister met Bebo Norman!!

LoL#48: Reflections on a Turkey Sandwich

****Disclaimer: The following "lessons" all arose from a lunch table conversation yesterday. It was kind of one of those situations where I was sort of trying to be funny but was told that I was making some really good points. I figured I'd recapture some of my thoughts here and share them with you guys. This isn't a manual on how to live life or anything so do me a favor and don't take me too seriously. Enjoy!****

I've learned that trying to be cool is a pointless endeavor. Here's the deal, if you try to be cool and succeed, it comes across as arrogance. If you try to be cool and fail, it makes you seem a loser to an even larger degree because you were, after all, trying to be cool. However, if you don't try to be cool and you're not cool, it's okay because hey, you weren't aiming for coolness. Also, if you don't try to be cool and by some stroke of luck you acheive coolness, then it's magnified to some exponential factor because you're in the sort of auto-cool zone of being effortlessly cool.

I've also learned not to try too hard to be attractive. Mostly because people that put too much stock into their own appearance have a hard time not coming across as really self-absorbed. Since too, most people are naturally self-absorbed, I figure being self absorbed can't really be appealing to those that are self-absorbed. This kinda ties into the coolness theory too because people that are attractive without really trying are generally a lot more attractivce than the ones that try too hard.

Another good lesson is not to be attracted by attraction. (This is the whole I like a person because they like me syndrome.) Granted this is the basic principle behind the sophisticated art of flirtaion, but taking that into consideration, how many solid relationships have ever been built upon flirtation? There's a gaelic proverb that says that the best mirror is a friend's eye and I think when you consider whether you really like a person you should think about who you are when you're with them and whether you like the person they make you want to become.

The sooner you realize that relationship and responsibility go hand in hand the better off you'll be in life. Yeah, it applies to the whole guy/girl thing, but even more so it applies to every relationship in life - think offices and families as well as just friendships. To be in a relationship is to enter into some intangible mental, emotional, possibly physical, maybe even spiritual contract. And what people don't seem to always grasp is that when you do that, you have to bring something to the table. It's about unselfish living. It's like when kids grow up and want nothing else to do with their parents or siblings. They've taken all they needed and see no reason to give anything back. Then you look at kids that grow up and make friends with their parents and you see that they're giving back - giving time, conversation, and love - and by putting something new into a preformed boundary of a relationship there's suddenly an opportunity for new growth.

I'm not sure if variety really is the spice of life. I think variety in your own perspective can do more to spice things up than any actual changes in atmosphere or situation. Or maybe I'm just too afraid to admit that I don't particularly like change. And yes, I realize that that's a rather odd statement for one with an attention span as short as mine.

Listen to me going on about all this, maybe I should write a book. ;) Truth is, I don't have it all figured out. I can talk a big game, but I'll be the first to admit that there's a lot - no, a ton.... (what's bigger than a ton?) ...I'll be the first to admit that there's a gigaton that I have yet to learn but I will say I'm very eager and anxious to get started learning as much as I can with the time that I have.


Turkey-Sandwich-Thoughtsfully Yours,

lisa :)


p.s. So yeah, as for what's up with me, I moved back in with my parents last month. There's a whole saving money for the wedding aspect to it plus I just have to achieve extreme nerdiness in admitting that *shocking as it is* I actually like my parents! It was a sad day to say farewell to The Holodeck but the future is looking exceptionally thrilling and Tony and I actually bought a condo in The Ville (Bag End - I'll explain later) so it's gonna be a great place to move into after the wedding - 162 days to go. And speaking of wedding news too, I'm not the only Baker girl to be planning a wedding these days! My sister Laura just got engaged to her boyfriend Dan! Cool beans, ain't it??? Anyhoo, I hope you all enjoy what's left of summer!!!

LoL #47: Never was a corn flake girl.

Never was a Corn Flake girl. Thought it was a good solution....

Okay I have no clue where that analogy is going but it was one of those songs that I heard on the radio the other day that hadn't graced my ears for the better part of the last decade. But if there's any relevance of the song in my life it's that I never have liked Corn Flakes. The frosted variety is much preferable but, in truth, if a breakfast is to consist of such an outrageous number of sugar grams one might as well eat Lucky Charms because at least the marshmallows are in shapes much more fun to ponder.

The way I see it though, breakfast cereal could very well be the analogy I want to run with in describing my life at present. I can't go so far as to say that my life derives it's name from the Roman god of corn but to start with, I must point out the obvious comparison that both life and cereal (and I suppose also, Life cereal) have become exceptionally sweet - and life somehow manages to attain that sweetness without pasty white icing, dehydrated marshmallow pellets or being interspersed with sugar coated raisins. [And how Kellog's manages to cover every square nanometer of a raisin's surface with sugar remains one of the universe's more compelling mysteries...]

More so than the sugar factor though, life right now seems all about variety. Anyone who's been anywhere near a grocery store lately can attest to the fact that nowhere exists a clearer manifestation of the essence of variety than in the limitless infinity that is a cereal aisle. With cartoon charcaters to rival a fast forwarded Saturday morning marathon and colors reminiscent of an exploding circus tent, the choices are virtually endless. Similarly so are the choices involved with coordinating the details of wedding planning. [I'm sure you're all in the loop but just in case anyone missed the news, Tony and I got engaged Easter weekend!!! :) Wedding date is December 31st 2004, aka New Year's Eve wedding aka 227 days from now - woohoo!] Dress, Flowers, Hall, Cake, DJ, Photographer, China Pattern, Wedding Party, Tuxedos, Pastor, Ceremony style - I've decided that this is why people advise not to date anyone you can't see yourself marrying because any girl who gets engaged and still questions choice of groom would most likely suffer a severe brain meltdown from an overabundance of decisions to be made. Tony's the part of the equation that I'm very glad to be certain about. In my cereal analogy, he's the toy at the bottom of the box. Remember when you had to eat bowls of cereal every morning just to get one of those freaky squid style wacky wall crawlers? Well, all this crazy decision making stuff is fun and cool (like eating cereal) but the real joy (the toy at the bottom) is the fun of our life together. And anyone thinking me cruel to compare such an awesome guy to a cheap piece of sticky plastic doesn't understand how cool I thought wacky wall crawlers were and should also know that Tony and I routinely exchange such endearing compliments such as "You're like McDonald's" and "I'd rather talk to you than scrub my toilet".

But yeah, enough about wedding stuff. This is weird too because some of you are probably at the gag-me-with-a-spoon point of being sickeningly disgusted by my gushing about this all while others of you want details galore. In other news though, work is going well. I learned how to do mouse surgery today. A more valid statelment would be that I learned how to entangle my enormously large fingers in suture thread and attempt to form minisculely smalll x-shaped stitches in the abdomen of a tiny rodent. It's not a procedure I see myself mastering any time soon and all I can say is that luckily the subject was deceased during my practice trial. *Yikes* It was - in one word: bad. Or messy....no, we'll stick with "bad". In better news, my sister's baby is due next weekend too so I've been virtually glued to my cell phone eagerly awaiting the going-into-labor news. I was going to use the analogy of being surgically attached to my phone but after my earlier exploits in suturing (why do they make it look so easy on ER?!?!??) I decided to scratch that idea.

Well, I'm sure I've said enough by now and I hope that this e-mail finds you all well and happy and enjoying a sweet life free of abnormally sugar-coated raisins but filled with variety. That's all I really have to say for now.

Sweetfully & Varietyfully Yours,
- You bet your life it is -

lisa :)


p.s. Shoutouts to all the May birthdays like Kristy & Erika (I'm sure there's more of you out there but they're the only ones I'm remembering right now - sorry)!! Also a shoutout to everyone who got the whole Tori Amos connection with the first and last lines of the e-mail......nnnnnevermind.

LoL#46: L. Baker, Eavesdropper Extraordinaire

I didn't mean to be rude.

It's not even like I was trying to listen in. I just overheard.

Besides, it's not like they were talking in code. They weren't even talking quietly.

And when she's on one side of the train aisle and he's on the other side facing me, I'm practically TRAPPED inside their conversation. It's amazing how much people reveal about themselves in forty minutes. And with me engrossed in my latest needlepoint project, how can I help but hear?

He's an accountant. Works in Chicago. He's been with his company for the last twelve years. Went to college in Indiana. Worked in Skokie before that but the commute was a killer. Likes his job but hates the month of April. Too many people filing taxes at the last minute. He has a daughter in high scool and a son in college. It was nice having his son home on spring break for a while but it's not like they really talk much anymore. Son had a date on Saturday, but dad never heard the girl's name, how they knew each other, where they went or what they did. Only thing dad does know is that son was out til 4 am and had to leave to go back to school at 9 the next day. Dad laughs at son's irresponsible actions. "He's a party boy," he says with pride. Son even left dorm keys at home. It gave dad an excuse to go into son's bedroom for the first time in years. Dad laughs at finding beer bottles and condoms all over son's room. Son's a minor but dad laughs at this too. "Show me a nineteen year old who says they don't have a fake ID and I'll show you a liar". Dad says that he and his wife threw out the bongs they found in son's closet. He jokes about waiting for son to come home again to discover they are missing.

And he laughed. Through it all he laughed. He joked with pride at his son drinking, using drugs, and being sexually active with no more concern than saying he was involved with basketball, soccer, and wrestling. His Chicago accent dripped with cynical acceptance that all kids at that age are willfully breaking the law. It's normal. They're teenagers, right?

But this complacent approval wasn't coming from a friend. It wasn't some resigned "kids will be kids" statement coming from a teacher or coach who's hands are tied with a difficult rebel. It's from a parent. This kid's own father is laughing at his son's reckless and even illegal endeavors. Maybe I'm too old fashioned. Too conservative. I don't know his son. Maybe he's a straight A student with a brilliantly bright future. But I still just think that some things are wrong. And enabling your own children to do whatever they want and then having the gall to laugh about their indiscretions in front of total strangers while on your way to work tops that chart.

I'm not gonna stand on some soapbox and say that sex, drugs and alcohol are evil and I'm not going to condemn anyone to hell who thinks all three make a life well rounded. But the thing is, life is about choices and it just seems to me that a life centered around that trinity doesn't have much to stand on. And there is some truth to the fact that kids will be kids. They make a ton of choices without always knowing right from wrong - in the saddest cases their parents don't either. I've been asked more times than I can count why I volunteer with youth ministry. The best answer I can give is how broken my heart felt as I unintenionally listened to this stranger's tale of his son's life.

I didn't ask to hear it. But neither can I turn a deaf ear to the all too familiar, and all too true, story I heard. I'm not gonna laugh at the poor choices young people make, I'm gonna do what I can to be a positive role model. I'm gonna impact youth however I can.

That's all I have to say. Thanks for listening in.


Eavesdropfully Yours,

lisa :)

p.s. I've been a little behind on the shoutouts lately. I missed them last time cause not much rhymes with "shoutout". Regardless, happy belated birthdays to
Maria J, Stacey L and Jigga Jess M!!!!

And Happy April Birthdays to
Karrie M, Ty G, and Derek B!!!!!

Happy Birthdays! Love to all!!!!!!!

LoL#45: LoLapaSEUSSa

Greetings my readers of this LoL!*
I thank you for reading, I've a great deal to tell.
Yesterday marked the birthday of a doctor named Seuss**
And in honor of him I've got rhymes on the loose!

Things in my life have been normal, you see,
But there's never much "normal" about life when you're me.....

Birthdays galore made February quite sweet
Chocolate cakes and ice cream were the much favored treat.
See, my brother, his wife, and the whole clan Guerrero
All have their b-days the month after "Enero".***

As for work, all is well and my cells are all happy
I'm still sad when I kill mice - does that make me sappy?
But it's for a good cause, one quite noble, I'll say!
I really do think we'll cure cancer someday.

Who would have thought, I would so love this lab?
After one point five years it's anything but drab!
It seems every month I learn something new,
I'll prob'ly stay here one more year, maybe two!

After that, who knows, but my future is bright.
Back to school? Into teaching? Whatever seems right.
I'm open to much with no need to decide,
'Cause for now in my life I'm enjoying the ride!

Things at church are cool, though my students are spastic
Next weekend in St. Louis should be quite fantastic.
We're goin' to a confrence from Friday to Sunday
(All that time with the kids might make me long for Monday). ;)

It's a trip on a bus so I don't have to drive
And retreats like this one make me feel quite alive.
My seventh grade girls - they all think that I'm odd
But at least they have fun when I teach them 'bout God.

Not much else is new. Not much left to say.
Reply if you like, tell me how was YOUR day?
I assure you it's true I always like to hear
What's going on with my friends far and near.

I've said quite enough for this LoL song
And I know some hate poems that are overly long.
So before I write out stanzas here by the scores
I'll just end this now as......
Seussfully Yours,



lisa :)

* LoL stands for "Lisa on Life" or "Life of Lisa" or "Lisa Online".
** Yesterday March 2, 2004 was the 100th birthday of Dr. Seuss.
*** Enero is Spanish for January.

LoL#44: Happy New Monkey Year!

Before I say anything, it's time for some shoutouts!!!! First to Chriskapher and Skirv Dog - I figure I'd go ahead and add y'all to my list of monthly lisa updates (LoL = Lisa on Life or Life of Lisa or Lisa Online or something like that). Be warned that it's as random as I am but if you like what you read check out the archive - ****edit: http://bloggerarrow.blogspot.com ***** - and see what you missed. On the other hand, if you find this to be an annoyance to your daily life and consider it to be one more piece of meaningless spam, let me know that too and you can get off the list. Next shoutouts go to the January birthday people and while I'm at it I'll go ahead and mention the Feb's too so that if I've forgotten anyone (and I'm sure I have - DOH!) you can let me know and you'll get a s.o. in February. So let's see that's James L, Igor K, Heidi E, Katie B, Danny S, and my sweetie Tony G (who'll be blushing now that I called him "my sweetie" - hee hee).

So......Happy New Year because this is the first LoL of 2004 (yes it really is already 2004!!) and Happy New Monkey Year because a week ago was Chinese New Year and it's the Year of the Monkey!! Like many of you other soon to be 24-year olds I was born in 1980 also a Year of the Monkey and supposedly it's a good luck thing to be born under that sign. Am I lucky? Sure. Am I any luckier than the myriad of people I know also born in that same year? Nah. But I figure monkeys usually sybolize fun, silly, clever creativty so let's just say heck with any horoscope superstitions and we can all just have a Monkey kind of year. Besides, my year was off to a rather chaotic start (got mono, missed two weeks of work, my dog got killed by a hit and run driver...) so hopefully now that it's the New MONKEY Year things will be a little more "normal".

But back to the subject of the new year, I was looking back at last January and I realized that I actually was fairly successful at all three of my New Year's Resolutions. I figured that after a year like that I deserved a break so I immediately resolved not to make any New Year's resolutions and then got mad at myself for failing already. But seriously, what is it about the new year that makes people so anxious for change? Is it the whole "turning over a new leaf" deal? I cringe everytime I hear people invoke that analogy. There's something inherently foolish about believing that a new day week or year can simply erase the previous. The difference between 2003 and 2004 is a simple case of 24 hours. There really is no magic in the ball dropping over Times Square (although there is something decidedly suspicious about Mr Fountain of Youth, Dick Clark...). Perhaps the whole resolution mess can be attributed to the curse of saying "there's always next year". Aside from the Cubs fans that still want a price on Steve Bartman's head, is this really something anyone should say? Don't try again next year, do something NOW! Life's too short. Maybe the audition, the game, the test, is next year, but ask yourself, what can I do for it now? New Year's Resolutions have to be about an attitude change and you'd better believe that the dead of winter could be one of the most challenging times to initiate changes within ourselves. Why not have Mid-Year resolutions? The summer sun would be a much more encouraging time to decide to start a new hobby and what better motivator for breaking a bad habit than the increasing hours of daylight in May and June?

As for me, I'm not really resolving to change anything about myself right now. Yeah I could go down the same list as everyone - healthier food, more excercise, less caffeine, saner thinking - but with the exception of actually eliminating my entire caffeine consumption (which, trust me, AIN'T gonna happen!), none of these goals can ever be actualized. There will always be a healthier diet, there will always be a few more pounds to shed, there will always be saner thoughts than those that I think. Is it all fruitless? Meaningless? Nah. Goals have purpose but they're so much easier to grasp daily or even weekly. Monthly, maybe, if you're really ambitious - but a yearly thing? Are we in that much of hurry to get through life???

So, you ask, what IS lisa looking for this year??

In a word, ADVENTURE!!!! Not adventure as in lisa's life as a Jerry Bruckheimer film (although Pirates of the Carribbean would be cool... YARR!!), I mean adventure as in new experiences. I'm not planning any world traveling. I'm not even planning any in the country traveling. But there resides inside me a desperate fear of the static and mundane. In my book "routine" should be a four letter word! I'm looking back at 2003 and the year held a lot of firsts. Meeting new people, doing new things, learning new skills, reading new books, hearing new bands, trying new foods, going new places - a whole hodgepodge of experiences that I had previously never experienced! Some of you may read this and be further convinced of my mental instability. You see nothing pleasurable about The New and The Different and may attribute this whole rant to the fact that I've been cooped up with mono for too long. But I'm the kind who never orders the same menu item twice (unless it's coconut shrimp....) - I thrive on the chaos of unpredicability. I'm hoping that 2004 will be as thrilling as 03 and I fully intend to do everything in my power to make it so!

Here's hoping that this year's adventures will include you and if not, may you have plenty of your own!


Adventurefully Yours,

lisa :)


p.s. To S.P. who's right there with me - and encouraging me - to try anything once!! You really are the kind of friend that makes life more fun!!