Monday, November 04, 2002

LoL#11: CamPAIN Season

Yes, tomorrow is the wonderful first Tuesday in November when citizens everywhere rush to their local polling places only to see their shadows and determine that there'll be another six months of winter. Unless of course we're talking about voters in Florida who never really have winter and can't quite figure out how to use ballots anyway.

Am I being a little too cynical here?? Probably, but I'm starting to find that the only thing really great about election season is bribery. And for some odd reason every candidate for an Illinois public office seems to think that people who commute to Chicago from Naperville must be the dumbest - or at least most easily persuadable - shmucks in the entire state. Not that I can complain too much because last week a candidate for state Treasurer was bribing all of us schmucky train riders with free Krispy Kreme donuts. The very next day a candidate for the same position was giving us all coffee. [Note I'm leaving out all names because I refuse to endorse anyone with this e-mail] I will stop to point out, though, that I think some more thought needs to be put into some of the bribery attempts that are going on. This morning I was accosted by some lady who wanted me to vote for her favorite candidate for the sole reason that she gave me a 4" by 6" flag designed car decal.....a car decal....and you're giving these out at the train station.....if I'm riding the train doesn't that sort of simply that I don't use my car too much???? And then of course there's the lady who approached me with her literature as well as the question "Are you old enough to vote?" I can't tell you how hard it was to bite back a snide reply of "Yeah, and I have been for the past FOUR YEARS!" (Do I seriously look like a seventeen year-old??? Maybe instead of med school I should just go redo high school. I could be like John Cryer in Hiding Out....and I'm betting that my obscure 80's movie reference is lost on the majority of you...)

But I honestly wouldn't mind the whole election thing if it weren't for excessively stupid commercials. "Vote for So-and-So! He supports Illinois Schools!!!" "Vote for What's-Her-Name! She'll lower unemployment rates!" I mean seriously people! Is any candidate ever going to say right out "I couldn't care less about education and I'll do my best to get people laid off!"??? And I think I could even tolerate choking on the cheesiness of these ads if they weren't on the tv or radio every 30 seconds. I just got done watching the six o' clock news and not a single commercial break went by with less than three campain ads (yes the misspelling is intentional) I honestly never thought I'd look forward to seeing a nice non-mud slinging McDonald's, Coke, or Nike commercial. Heck, I'd even take the Britney Spears Pepsi ads....
...ok so maybe I wouldn't go THAT far....

Anywho, I guess my biggest beef too is that I'm not even voting tomorrow. Yeah yeah you can all lecture me on civic duty and democracy at some other time. I was registered in Champaign (since that's where I was the last 4 years) and I missed the deadlines to change all my info to my local stuff. I suppose I'll take all the annoying propaganda as my punishment for not being a good citizen or something like that.

But to all of you - regardless of Republicrat, Democan, or Groundhog - Happy Election Day!

vote-fully yours,

lisa :)

No comments: