Tuesday, April 15, 2003

LoL#30: I found it!

I found it. (Yeah cue the jokes about "I lost it" a long time ago....) The "it" in question though is actually The Quote List!!!!!

Now the problem here is that most of you are going to have zero clue about what's to come, but basically last year I started jotting down on a little notepad on my closet door random and somewhat amusing quotes from random and somewhat amusing people. I have to warn you all now that the majority of them were uttered in late night sleep deprived stupors or in overly caffinated sugary situations (i.e. Lunch Bunch, Late Nite Coffeehouse, Perkins trips, etc). They're all insane so to save time I'm not going to give any explanations - sorry if this is all majorly psycho and you just don't get it. It all started with three funny e-mails in one day hence the first page was titled "E-mail Quotes of the Week" and the subsequent pages gained fame for their bizarre titles as well as content. I think I got them out of order too but order doesn't really matter. And one more disclaimer too, pardon in advance any offensive language and I still stand as emphatically as ever to my original thought that the "poohead" really was being a poohead, and I was not drunk. ;)

Anyhoo, my shoutout of the week goes to all of you extremely quoteworthy people out there whose funny comments were made in the absence of pen and paper and thus did not get listed.

Quotefully Yours,

lisa :)

p.s. I give you.......The Quote List:

*E-Mail Quotes of the Week*

"Girls are like clowns, both wear makeup and scare me." ~Nick C

"Computer labs are bizzare places. A bald Christian listening to electronica by a group named after a designer drug should be evidence enough" ~James L

"...the doors open on the 11th floor and there is someone waiting to get on, looking at me making this snarl face." ~Dave B

*More Quotes of the Week*

"Got the 2:45 Coke and looked under the cap...please play 'game again'...I said to myself...Is it really a game? I mean taking the top off a pop...is that a game?" ~Dave B

"It was like some sort of crazy Gap commercial..." ~Rob S, about the new Housing web page

"I'm comfortable with my own spit. Really, I am." ~Nick C

"I learn to live and I live to learn." ~Cindy B

*More and More and More Quotes of the Week*

"...and then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you..." ~Random AIM away message

"I wouldn't even want to meet him in a LIGHTED alley." ~Sara M

"You can't DRINK coffee." ~Derek B

"It deserved to be burped at." ~James L, about my computer

"Country is more considerate than porn." ~Sara M

*Even More Quotes of the Week*

"So there we were, sitting on the Orchard Downs bus TRYING to get to Lincoln Square Mall...." ~Lauren & Lisa, initiating the "So there we were..." game

"Oh no...Sonicflood looks like a boy band." ~James L

"I want to pet a goat." ~Jason C

"I love to pee." ~Sara M

"...well at least he's not on drugs." ~Cindy B

"I guess the whole point of food is to be gross." ~Stacey L

*Still More Quotes of the Week*

"I'd rather not guide who I become. I don't trust myself to do so wisely." ~James L

"Good Luck Costello" ~Dave B, about my interview with Abbot Labs

"oh hammer, I do believe I'll be there!" ~Nathan T, accepting an invitation to Lunch Bunch

"I've been marinated." ~Jigga Jason

"I felt like I had a cat sitting on me...a very fluffy cat too..." ~James L

*Revenge of the Quote List*

"I don't necessarily LIKE Osama bin Laden." ~Nick C

"Not so much...." ~Phrase of the day by Derek, Sara, Lisa, James, Tony and multiple other people at the I-life SnowBall

"If I married Kurt Kittner my initials would spell MAK..." ~Maria J

"You can't force 'baby'. 'Baby' just has to happen." ~lisa

"Did you just say 'Wungamai'?"
"Yeah, it's Japanese for 'baby'!" ~Sara & Derek

*The Quote List Strikes Back*

"You're a poohead and I'm not drunk." ~lisa

"Everytime I see an underscore I'll think of you." ~lisa to Tony

"I'm really glad he looked high." ~Cindy, about her ex

"Wow, your room exploded....I mean...even MORE than normal..." ~Cindy, about the disorderly state of my dorm room

"I haven't seen so many white people pissed off since OJ got acquitted!" ~Tony Guerrero, about the Survivor: Africa Reunion Show

*Planet of the Quote List*

"I have three classes in Lincoln on Monday Wednesday Friday! I'm such a freshman!" ~Kendra B, senior year

"I just kind of stood there. I'd just gotten hit in the head with a putter." ~Matt L

"Quad bus in the night...doo bee doo bee doo..." ~Lauren

"What's 'sundry'?"
"The day before Mondry." ~Derek & lisa

"But where do they get them really big cheeses?" ~Matt L pondering the origins of Jumbo Cheese Ravioli

*Quote List: The Choice of a New Generation*
(note: these all took place at a late night Perkin's study session involving stealing paper from each other and some relaly random tired conversation, nothing malicious intended, it was all funny at the time)

"Tony's a paper writing slut." ~lisa

"The pimp's the one passing out the goods...he is the goods." ~Sara, about Tony

"I just fell asleep in my hands." ~Derek

"We've secretly replaced this cow's leg with an artificial limb. Let's see if it'll notice..." ~lisa

"Too Much Information!!! You get the TMI award!"
"Just call me....TIMMY!!!" ~lisa & Tony

*The Neverending Quote List*

"What's that movie where like the whole world is water...."
"Uhhhh....Waterworld?!?" ~Karrie & Tony

"Use Real Drugs. Use Real Drugs. Use Real Drugs. Use Real Drugs." ~Derek, spoofing the "Use Real Sugar" packets at Perkins

"This random thought was brought to you by Mountain Dew and the letters 3 and 5." ~Sara

"You just thwarted a monkey, that makes you a chimp." ~Derek to Tony

*I Can't Believe it's Not Quote List*

"You ate your dolphin's fruity dude adopted cousin!" ~Emily H

"Yes! No! Shut up!" ~Karrie M, to Jason M not letting him get in a comment about watching too much TV

"Next time I enter their house I'm gonna wipe the dust off my sandals and just keep walking...Please don't quote me on that." ~Tony

"Stepped in a puddle puddle puddle puddle puddle..." ~Lauren J, from the Sock Opera starring Sean Connery

"The monkey is DEAD!!! The monkey's brain is not dead but THE MONKEY IS DEAD!!!" ~Brad P, Philosophy 105 TA

*Quotes I Have Been*

"Oh look it's a beef and cheese salad." ~Sean S

"They don't worship a dead man at K-Mart!" ~Nathan T

"My family is what happens when porn stars get saved." ~Anonymous illinilife member

"They didn't have the vanilla flavored ones!"
"I've had those but I don't remember what they taste like."
"They're....vanilla..." ~lisa & Emily discussing Peeps Eggs

*Son of Quote LIst*

"We're self proclaimed fashion queens of the stylishly modest!!" ~Lisa & Karrie

"Reverse is like forward only you're going backwards." ~Tony

"Food is good food."

"Can I be a library friend?" ~James

"And again I saw something meaningless under the sun." ~Verse from Ecclisiastes chosen as the unofficial replacement for the overused "Not so much..."

*A Brief History of Quote List*

"I'm a clown snob." ~Emily H

"A latte a day keeps the sandman away." ~lisa the insomniac

"Eat, Drink, and Throw gum at Michigan State fans." ~Laura G

"You could have seven kids and name them after the fruits of the spirit...Hi, I'm Self-Control, my parents didn't have any..." ~Erika A

Technically that's the end and I can't think of a much better way to finish this, but for those of you that went to IGNITE...I give you....

*Quotes Afire* (The unofficial Quote List compiled entirely at IGNITE)

"Cheerio!" ~Jess D & Bobbi, greeting people coming to breakfast while eating cheerios

"Who doesn't have accents? Horses..." ~lisa

"Our culture is just like those poopy waters." ~John H

"This is Brant in monkey form."
"Did you just say someone called Brant a monkey fart???" ~Karrie & Lisa

"Oh my gosh, that's really girly." ~Matt M, about Mary Kay hand lotions

"He's a tea hugger." ~Kristy B

"Could I get one of these for my monkey?" ~Jigga Jason, about the ignite name tags

"Scary potty" ~John H

"I do eat. I just excrete all the fat out my scalp." ~"Soup" Campbell

"Look the balloons multiplied. Caleb! That was his name! Caleb!!!" ~Karrie

"How you been Ben?"
"Been jammin." ~Kristy & Ben

"Hiny Hiders" ~Name of the locks on the Convention Center restroom stall doors

"Yoda's Ark." ~Jigga Jess D

"Bio Rock - the Ultimate in Educational Rock Music about Biology!" ~lisa

"Bread Butts!" ~Kristy & Jess

"Have a ro-tic. You take the 'man' out of romantic!" ~Peggy D

"You can order spaghetti with browned butt..." ~Kristy

"I haven't been this young since I was sixteen." ~Igor K

"I never was a teenage girl." ~Ty G

"I hit my right hip and my left knee."
"We could get a magic bullet theory for that one." ~lisa & Igor

"The last one in the series is Sex on Tape - TAP! Sex on Tap...." ~Steve Bush, about his audio sermons

"It's Jeff Kern and his magical two hour moustache!!" ~lisa


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